Murphy's Laws in Love and Dating - Hilarious and True! LOL
It's a long list. Here are some of my favorite ones:
All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
The duration of a relationship to a person is inversely proportionate to the importance of person to you.
When a man wants his wife to hear, she doesn't listen.
When that same man doesn't want his wife to hear, she's all ears.
It's always easier to get a partner if you already have one.
A girlfriend is like a credit card, if you have one it's easier to get a new one.
Being taken attracts women. Being single makes them avoid you like the plague.
The hornier someone is, the less likely that it will be they have sex.
Corollary: Horniness is inversely related to one's chance of scoring
In Romance; and in Finance we play with Figures.
if a man has it he won't want it,
the guy who buys it won't use it,
the guy who uses it could give a shit about it,
so don't give a shit and you will have it all.
Girls are like toilet rooms. Either it is taken, or full of sh*t.
If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one.
If a girl tell you "let's stay friends", she won't call ever again. If you call, she won't answer.
Being honest with someone will always turn that person into an enemy.
When you're girlfriend says that you have to talk the relationship is over.
The day you decide to tell you're girlfriend you could not live without her she will leave you the next day.
The more you want a women the less she will want you.
When she says: "Don't buy me anything expensive" and you listen, expect to be single.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife. But they never said anything about their daughter.
The best men (or women) are always taken--or crazy.
When you take your time getting ready your date will arrive 20 min. early; when you're on time they're 30 min. late.
As soon as you break up the man (or woman) who couldn't commit TO YOU will get married.
A good women/men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken.
Procrastination is a lot like masturbation, it feels good until you realize your just f***ing yourself.
Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money.
Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.
The length of a relationship is directly related to how much you are attracted to your significant other's best friend.
Being told your the nicest guy they know is the kiss of death.
The partner you want doesn't want you. The ones that want you are not made for you.
Sex ends all interest.
The love of your life will only want you back once you are in another serious relationship.
The most intelligent statements will be thought of at the most inappropriate times. (i.e. during a make out session, strike up a law of Quantum physics, thus demonstrating that you are not interested in the other person).
If (s)he wants to dump you, (s)he will find a reason.
If (s)he wants to dump you, (s)he will.
Marriage is like a dog with a bone, he might not touch it, just doesn't let another dogs come near it.
If you love her/him, s/he doesn't love you
If you are in love, he/she isn't
If you want love, you don't get it
If a beautiful wo/man loves you, it's fake
If you are happy together, wait till you are married
Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're such a good friend, is like being told that you didn't get the job because you're overqualified.
The perfection of a person is proportional to how much you love him/her.
The imperfection of a person is proportional to how much you hate him/her.
You'll think of a great line to say to someone the moment after your chance is gone.
Kids in cars cause accidents.
Accidents in cars cause kids.
"All women are neurotic; all men are assholes" - Kurt Vonnegut