I usually only meet girls alone in the Philippines

[foodchain11]

Just wondering if other male members here in the Philippines meet girls alone only or let them bring friends and relatives. It's quite normal for girls to ask if they can bring a friend or relative. I've said OK before and met them in pairs or even three's sometimes, but after comparing my success rate with meeting them alone, I now refuse to meet them unless they come alone. I'm always wondering if I should change that and meet them in pairs again.

Each has it's own pro and cons:

Meeting them with friends and/or relatives means you meet more girls they bring with them, but it means almost no chance of getting them home that time, and it also usually means they expect a meal for all of them, so no thanks. If they only meet you with friends it also shows a lack of self confidence and shyness on their part.

Meeting them alone shows the girl is not scared of meeting foreigners, and has more self confidence and is not shy. It also means if you buy them food it's only them you have to pay for, and of course it also means a much better chance of getting them home alone. The downside is you only meet them and no other potential cute girls.

I've only scored a few times with girls I met with friends or relatives, while I've scored many times that number with girls I met alone.

The whole bringing a friend and relative thing always annoys me because it just smells of shyness and no confidence on their part, something a lot of Filipinas have. I usually tell them sorry I only meet girls alone, and if other girls did it you can too.

Curious to other members opinions and success rate compared to meeting girls alone.

I would urge you to reshape your thinking just a bit! What you might not realize is that the chaperone thing can hugely, hugely work to your benefit! Okay okay not for a super-easy lay and then done. But for a girl who you want to win over, the ultimate tailwind is to get her friends and family on your side. No way of screwing up once they are! The chaperone thing can actually be really fun! Spoil the chaperone a little and you cannot lose. Having the girl's friends whispering positive things in her ear about you is the absolute best thing that could ever happen to you. Just slightly delay your gratification and then it will be better than ever!!!

[publicduende]

I would urge you to reshape your thinking just a bit! What you might not realize is that the chaperone thing can hugely, hugely work to your benefit! Okay okay not for a super-easy lay and then done. But for a girl who you want to win over, the ultimate tailwind is to get her friends and family on your side. No way of screwing up once they are! The chaperone thing can actually be really fun! Spoil the chaperone a little and you cannot lose. Having the girl's friends whispering positive things in her ear about you is the absolute best thing that could ever happen to you. Just slightly delay your gratification and then it will be better than ever!!!

That's very sound advice...but there is a caveat. Often the chaperone is just an excuse for the girl to arrange a free ride on the foreigner's wallet for herself and her sister, or best friend, or cousin. If there is genuine interest then yes, I would say the chaperone can validate the impression the date got about the man.

Yet, from what I have seen, most of the times these chaperoned dates go south very quickly...neither of the girls speak English and have any interest to say anything interesting to the man. Silence befalls and the party eats quietly until the end. Then I don't know what happens next but I can imagine the girl might be interested in another free dinner, until she can establish that he is the right man to provide for her and her family.

The better way of dating a girl is to meet her without the chaperone but be a total gentleman and never give her any sexual innuendos, until she makes it absolutely obvious that she wants it too.

[Winston]

That's the custom in Asia, especially with younger girls. Older girls will not need a chaperone usually. It's not about confidence. It's just the custom in Asia. However, usually the girl will just bring ONE chaperone, not a whole group. If she wants to bring a group, that's a red flag. Yeah you have to treat the chaperone too, but you can go somewhere cheap like fast food or a cafeteria or coffee shop or mall food court, etc. Or you can all share a pizza. No biggie. I've done that before and kept the cost down. However, if she likes you and agrees to a second date, usually she will meet you alone.

[Yohan]

That's the custom in Asia, especially with younger girls. Older girls will not need a chaperone usually. It's not about confidence. It's just the custom in Asia. However, usually the girl will just bring ONE chaperone, not a whole group. If she wants to bring a group, that's a red flag...

This is true, many Asian girls, also here in Japan, have a group thinking and do not feel comfortable to show up alone, but as you said with somebody else they know since long time. We have to understand that Asian dating is often based on introduction, involving more people and not only 'she and me'.... However this is not necessarily a bad thing if you meet other people too who are close to her.

About money you will not spend much, any simple restaurant, any small entrance fee maybe like a zoo historical place or buying some sweets or something like that...

just my experience so far.

[publicduende]

That's the custom in Asia, especially with younger girls. Older girls will not need a chaperone usually. It's not about confidence. It's just the custom in Asia. However, usually the girl will just bring ONE chaperone, not a whole group. If she wants to bring a group, that's a red flag. Yeah you have to treat the chaperone too, but you can go somewhere cheap like fast food or a cafeteria or coffee shop or mall food court, etc. Or you can all share a pizza. No biggie. I've done that before and kept the cost down. However, if she likes you and agrees to a second date, usually she will meet you alone.

That is true but, as often happens in the Philippines, traditional Asian customs become caricature of their former selves. Take the average Filipina who is used to meeting foreigners, perhaps because she's on a dating site, perhaps because her sister or cousin or friend has a foreign bf. Those girls definitely don't need a chaperone, especially if it was agreed that the meet-up has to look like a first date and not a causal coffee/dinner.

The very fact they bring one means they are opportunistic: one of her friends or family members is taking the chance of a free ride and she probably wants to use the pretext of having a third person in the mix to say she needs to "leave early", to "take her friend home", etc.

I too used to see chaperoning as a sign or virtue, of traditional moral standards. It's not. It's little more than an excuse to put distance between you and the girl, while giving another girl (or man) you are not interested in the slightest a free coffee & cake or dinner.

[Zambales]

hammanta,

you answer your own question in why some filipina prefer foreign men. From my take of it and from what I hear it's not just exclusively a white guy thing.

In terms of marriage, the reason to why they prefer foreign men has always yielded the same answer from my experience. Filipino's don't make good husbands.

[publicduende]

Filipino's don't make good husbands.

Correct. Filipinos from low class families, who are the majority, don't make good husbands. It's easier to find a low-class Filipina who is (or can be) a good wife and mother, than a low-class Filipino a good husband and father.

Things change considerably when it comes to middle or upper class Filipinos. They are usually well-educated, will have exercise some care when choosing their life partners. And, from what I have seen, even when the lures of money and power makes them into unreliable (= cheating) husbands, they do tend to keep the family together and they never stop being caring fathers.

[snede]

I just listened to the latest podcast from "Foreign Wife Happy Life". It's about the Philippines. Well worth listening to.

[Winston]

I just listened to the latest podcast from "Foreign Wife Happy Life". It's about the Philippines. Well worth listening to.

Where do you listen to it? Can you post the link?

[Adama]

If you don't want to pay, can't you just meet at a park and just sit on a bench? Or go for a walk in the park. Or watch a free baseball game. It doesn't have to be dinner.

[snede]

I just listened to the latest podcast from "Foreign Wife Happy Life". It's about the Philippines. Well worth listening to.

Where do you listen to it? Can you post the link?

I just told the podcast software to search for it. Otherwise, it can be found at https://foreignwifehappylife.com/