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Falcon's new Thai family

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MarcosZeitola
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by MarcosZeitola » May 4th, 2017, 7:36 am

Falcon wrote:Great points. We're thinking about this and are planning to go to a fertility clinic this month to see what the doctors say.
Very smart move. A bit late, but better late then never. It's unwise to postpone this process any longer at her age. An eye on the future and swift action could save you a lot of tears later on.
Falcon wrote:But it's not an absolute must for now. Life abroad can be quite uncertain, and having kids can complicate things more. We will be weighing all the pro's and con's and thinking about this carefully.
Just take the necessary steps that enable you to have a family with her, somewhere down the road, even if it is a few years from now. Eggs can be frozen. Treatments nowadays give you a lot of leeway. But "lets just see how things go" is never a wise way of doing things. You may find that, by the time you are "ready", her body isn't anymore.

It may be that its more of a burden then a must to you right now. But trust me... the pain of not having the choice any longer because you waited too long to take steps, is far worse. I know you love your daughter dearly, and I know blood is not the most important thing for you. But take it from someone who knows: holding a child of your own, one day, is the single most powerful life experience you could ever experience. And if you really love this woman more then any woman you ever loved... you should want this experience with her, rather then with anyone else. But forgo of this now, and I can already predict your relationship will one day fall apart. You will still be her friend, you will still have a father-daughter-relationship with her daughter no doubt, but there will be something missing in your life my friend.

This is my only issue with age gaps in relationships, where the man is far younger then his lady; she gave her best years to another man, but worse: she gave her fertility to another man. That, in the end, is the biggest hurdle for your relationship. You may not feel it right now, but I am glad you take my advice and give it some serious thought. Because if this lady truly is "the one", I would hate for you to lose her.




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Kradmelder
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by Kradmelder » May 4th, 2017, 7:45 am

What hasnt been mentioned is how is a much older woman relationship perceived in asian society. Starchild says it is normal in india, but amongst yellow people?

In white society it is frowned upon, hence the responses you get on here.

It is not so easy to be a couple and raise kids when there is a stigma attached to you.

You see such differences in cultures. Like a thin or fit white man with a very fat wife is ridiculed. But in black african culture a fat wife is desired as it is a sign of prosperity. A thin black man with mama africa waddling along behind him has no stigma.

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starchild5
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by starchild5 » May 4th, 2017, 1:57 pm

MrMan wrote:
Is it a common belief in India that men should marry older women?
Well its not a norm, it was in ancient india and it flourished, since the british showed up, they twisted all Indian culture.

Your example of women being grumpy and poor and not rich even after marrying an older women is understandable because India had tradition as I mentioned , they match Kundali as well..Horoscope..

Japanese, Koreans are obsessed with Blood groups but its just one part of the whole deal.

Your Temperament also should match along with an older wife. I did not mention Horoscope matching because I already mentioned this many time here.

India has one of the lowest divorce rate by far on the entire planet for this reason alone. Marriage is a total spiritual union, so if you have a older wife the better but even then u need to make sure the horoscope match that's given even if your wife is older or young.

-----------------

I wonder, what would happen to America is it was 1.2 billion. It burrps and farts whenever few refugees show up and that's news for days...imagine if 1.2 billion show up...the roads, the infrastructure, so called economy would collapse...

My point is comparing 1.2 billion humans with 300 million humans is not the right approach.

There are many many people who lead a very successful life marrying older women.

Indian tradition do not believe in LOVE marriage at all....Its always arranged marriage based on your spiritual temperament that how beautiful you are etc

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starchild5
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by starchild5 » May 4th, 2017, 2:09 pm

Kradmelder wrote:What hasnt been mentioned is how is a much older woman relationship perceived in asian society. Starchild says it is normal in india, but amongst yellow people?

In white society it is frowned upon, hence the responses you get on here.

It is not so easy to be a couple and raise kids when there is a stigma attached to you.

You see such differences in cultures. Like a thin or fit white man with a very fat wife is ridiculed. But in black african culture a fat wife is desired as it is a sign of prosperity. A thin black man with mama africa waddling along behind him has no stigma.
It is accepted. Its kinda have become a secret now. Earlier, many kings etc seeked to marry older women.

Old or Young..The horoscope should be matched

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Adama
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by Adama » May 4th, 2017, 9:24 pm

You can do what is right, or you can do what most people would do. They are probably not the same thing. More important than pleasing other people outside of your marriage is whether or not you are doing things morally upright.

So when someone claims that your woman being older is a bad thing, well what grounds are they standing on morally? Is there some moral reason why an older woman cannot go with a younger man? As long as you aren't sinning, they don't have the right to criticize you even. They should keep their mouths shut.

Unfortunately people feel free to speak all kinds of negativity against you because of their own opinions rather than what is upright. Their opinions are even often morally wrong, but only in their minds is it proper to behave the way they do, while they criticize you for not doing it their way, which is an improper way. All the more reason why most people should mind their business and keep their negative opinions to themselves. Them expressing their negativity is a relief for them. They can follow their own advice and keep it to themselves.

Falcon
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by Falcon » May 5th, 2017, 4:09 am

Meet Brigitte Macron, the 64-year-old wife of 39-year-old Emmanuel Macron, France's new president.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3402012/b ... -election/
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/peop ... d-frances/

They've happily been together for over 2 decades.

Now:
Image

Back then:
Image

Yes, I'm prepared for this kind of future. :D

Falcon
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by Falcon » May 5th, 2017, 4:25 am

As for marrying older women in India and the rest of South Asia, it is uncommon. But when it does happen, there's generally quite a bit of respect for people who carefully enter into such unions. For instance, my example of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) marrying an older woman (Khadijah, his first wife) is a story that all learned Muslims cherish in their hearts. It was certainly not that common, but certainly not freakish either, in 7th-century Arabia.

MarcosZeitola wrote:
Falcon wrote:Great points. We're thinking about this and are planning to go to a fertility clinic this month to see what the doctors say.
Very smart move. A bit late, but better late then never. It's unwise to postpone this process any longer at her age. An eye on the future and swift action could save you a lot of tears later on.
Falcon wrote:But it's not an absolute must for now. Life abroad can be quite uncertain, and having kids can complicate things more. We will be weighing all the pro's and con's and thinking about this carefully.
Just take the necessary steps that enable you to have a family with her, somewhere down the road, even if it is a few years from now. Eggs can be frozen. Treatments nowadays give you a lot of leeway. But "lets just see how things go" is never a wise way of doing things. You may find that, by the time you are "ready", her body isn't anymore.

It may be that its more of a burden then a must to you right now. But trust me... the pain of not having the choice any longer because you waited too long to take steps, is far worse. I know you love your daughter dearly, and I know blood is not the most important thing for you. But take it from someone who knows: holding a child of your own, one day, is the single most powerful life experience you could ever experience. And if you really love this woman more then any woman you ever loved... you should want this experience with her, rather then with anyone else. But forgo of this now, and I can already predict your relationship will one day fall apart. You will still be her friend, you will still have a father-daughter-relationship with her daughter no doubt, but there will be something missing in your life my friend.

This is my only issue with age gaps in relationships, where the man is far younger then his lady; she gave her best years to another man, but worse: she gave her fertility to another man. That, in the end, is the biggest hurdle for your relationship. You may not feel it right now, but I am glad you take my advice and give it some serious thought. Because if this lady truly is "the one", I would hate for you to lose her.
You've got the mindset and thinking of someone born in a different place and era, despite the fact that you're a Dutchman born in the 1990's. Thumbs up for being such a committed family man when peers your age are busy partying and casually dating.

There are quite a few articles online giving us good news about fertility from 40-45.
She is still relatively healthy at 41. I know that there's a steep fertility drop from 40 to 45, after which it becomes problematic to conceive. So yes, she'll most likely be fine if we do it now, but not if we wait 3 more years.

Why fertility is far from finished at 40
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens ... at-40.html


Honestly, in a country like the Philippines, I don't think I would have ended up with a woman over 35. In the Philippines, there are just way too many good, mentally mature, eligible 20-something's to choose from, and they are so easy to get to know. The median age in Thailand is 37, while in the Philippines it is 22. The fertility rate in Thailand is 1.5, while in the Philippines it is 3.1. As you can see, the age demographic in Thailand resembles those of the US and Western European countries, while in the Philippines it is closer to that of some of the more developed sub-Saharan African countries.

I never came to Thailand for the women, but rather for work and school. If I had to look for a new woman, I wouldn't do Thailand. It's like how you can meet a great American woman, while also realizing at the same time that the majority of American women aren't marriage material for you. I'd try Myanmar, Philippines, and maybe even China. The average Thai woman is not on my wavelength.

zboy1
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by zboy1 » May 9th, 2017, 3:43 pm

Falcon, my friend, do what is in your heart. I think it's great that you have such a loving relationship. Most Asian woman have become despicable, materialistic and totally White worshipping, so I'm glad for you. Most people here--and in general--have no idea of the predicament and anger of Asian men in Western countries.

It can be dispiriting for Asian men in the Anglo world, so your relationship should be a light on other Asian men. It shows that good Asian woman still exist back in Asia.

yick
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by yick » May 9th, 2017, 3:54 pm

zboy1 wrote: Most Asian woman have become despicable, materialistic and totally White worshipping,
In Asia itself? Or Asian-American women?

If you mean Asia, I think not chief.
so I'm glad for you. Most people here--and in general--have no idea of the predicament and anger of Asian men in Western countries.
So why should they care? Why is it their problem what happens to Americans of Asian ethnicity in a foreign country. Most Koreans see you and your family for going to America as traitors. :lol:
It can be dispiriting for Asian men in the Anglo world,
Which non-white ethnicity has it easy in the white mans world?

I think that's no-one.

zboy1
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by zboy1 » May 9th, 2017, 4:17 pm

yick wrote:
zboy1 wrote: Most Asian woman have become despicable, materialistic and totally White worshipping,
In Asia itself? Or Asian-American women?

If you mean Asia, I think not chief.
so I'm glad for you. Most people here--and in general--have no idea of the predicament and anger of Asian men in Western countries.
So why should they care? Why is it their problem what happens to Americans of Asian ethnicity in a foreign country. Most Koreans see you and your family for going to America as traitors. :lol:
It can be dispiriting for Asian men in the Anglo world,
Which non-white ethnicity has it easy in the white mans world?

I think that's no-one.
Yick, you have made some good points. I agree that every non-White minority has difficulty in this world. True. I don't deny that.

As for Asian woman, I meant mostly overseas Asian woman.

Koreans see me as a 'traitor.'?? Really? I've never had any Korean tell me that. Actually, there's so many Koreans abroad, it's become a natural thing to have family members living abroad.

zboy1
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by zboy1 » May 9th, 2017, 4:21 pm

I don't see the stigma of marrying an older woman, although there are risks for doing so, as many have pointed out. It might be unusual but I don't think it's that big of a deal, especially seeing pictures of the two together; she looks young for her age.

Kradmelder
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by Kradmelder » May 9th, 2017, 4:23 pm

zboy1 wrote:Falcon, my friend, do what is in your heart. I think it's great that you have such a loving relationship. Most Asian woman have become despicable, materialistic and totally White worshipping, so I'm glad for you. Most people here--and in general--have no idea of the predicament and anger of Asian men in Western countries.

It can be dispiriting for Asian men in the Anglo world, so your relationship should be a light on other Asian men. It shows that good Asian woman still exist back in Asia.
I had never thought about that until this forum. But yes i can see it is tough for asian men because overseas even their women prefer white men.

It seems like asian men are even lower than niggers in the eyes of women. When even their own women look elsewhere they have it the worst, but they dont complain like the lower rungs of white men. It seems the best option for asian men is back in asia.

Kradmelder
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by Kradmelder » May 9th, 2017, 4:25 pm

zboy1 wrote:I don't see the stigma of marrying an older woman, although there are risks for doing so, as many have pointed out. It might be unusual but I don't think it's that big of a deal, especially seeing pictures of the two together; she looks young for her age.
Maybe that is because you rhink like an asian. To a white person it is very odd as by far the norm is a woman yunger than yourself.

yick
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by yick » May 9th, 2017, 5:00 pm

zboy1 wrote:
yick wrote:
zboy1 wrote: Most Asian woman have become despicable, materialistic and totally White worshipping,
In Asia itself? Or Asian-American women?

If you mean Asia, I think not chief.
so I'm glad for you. Most people here--and in general--have no idea of the predicament and anger of Asian men in Western countries.
So why should they care? Why is it their problem what happens to Americans of Asian ethnicity in a foreign country. Most Koreans see you and your family for going to America as traitors. :lol:
It can be dispiriting for Asian men in the Anglo world,
Which non-white ethnicity has it easy in the white mans world?

I think that's no-one.
Yick, you have made some good points. I agree that every non-White minority has difficulty in this world. True. I don't deny that.

As for Asian woman, I meant mostly overseas Asian woman.

Koreans see me as a 'traitor.'?? Really? I've never had any Korean tell me that. Actually, there's so many Koreans abroad, it's become a natural thing to have family members living abroad.
I heard that from a fair few Koreans and it seemed to be a popular mindset, that people who leave Korea and succeed abroad were traitors ready to run, especially ones who do it to escape conscription - now it might be jealously or envy but yes, a lot of Koreans made the move to Australia, The States and Canada.

Regards American women of Asian ethnicity, if families come to places like America from Confucian mindsets and are looking at the top pecking order for everything - school, places to live, types of career - then it makes sense that a woman brought up with a Confucian mindset would see white men who run the country they are in as a viable alternative. Now, a lot of Asian guys brought up in that same Confucian mindset want white women because it's a sign of success, that they have made it, the problem is white women in America don't want them - but they don't particulary want Hispanics (non-white of course) Native Americans, black people or Native Hawaiians - the one thing these other groups don't have the handicap of is Confucian mindsets where there is a pecking order for everything - their own women are happy to date their own men, and the men are happy to date their own women in the main.

It's a toughie - it really is, I don't think it's America to blame or Confucianism but it shows the cultural incompatibilities of Connfucian mindsets within the western world.

chanta76
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Re: Falcon's new Thai family

Post by chanta76 » May 10th, 2017, 5:12 pm

Yick,

It's more a generation thing but in general speaking it's overblown about Koreans that go overseas that are consider traitors . I been to Korea a number of times and it's been mixed bag but for the most part I been accepted.

Not all Asian culture is base upon Confucianism. I don't think the Philippines nor Thailand. And we know these women marry or date out like crazy . It's more social economics so OK maybe it is Confucianism but in different way I guess.

For Asian American girls..I remember way back in college there was this one Korean American girl that dated white guys. She had all these stereotypical views of Asian men as being sexist or wife beaters and thought white guys were prince Charming. I asked her about black men or hispanic men and she thought black men were lazy and hispanic men too. The funny thing is she said I was the OK Asian guy and wanted to set me up with a friend. I decline because I told her she internalize too much racism.

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