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The best mindset to have

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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mattyman
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Posts: 352
Joined: September 12th, 2010, 11:15 pm

The best mindset to have

Post by mattyman » September 12th, 2018, 3:45 am

You're not going to a foreign country to find a girl but to expand your social horizons. If you're focused on meeting more people then any girl you do meet you won't be that desperate for her approval, knowing that there's more to come. If you meet a nice girl you think is 'the one' keep focus on meeting new people, expanding my social circle. A good mindset is, 'yeah, you're nice as a friend but there's a world out there, there's loads of new girls out there'. You know when you're focused on meeting new people rather than getting girls, you'll find you're SO much more laidback.

All the women I've met abroad who I've had kisses off, I've met when I had this mentality.

If you meet a woman from dating sites
If your sole reason for visiting a country is to meet a specific woman you've met on a dating site, you're putting too many eggs in one basket. Be prepared to be able to go out and meet new people, and more crucially, be prepared to leave her and make it clear her approval of you doesn't mater.

If you're visiting a country for a purpose such as tourism, volunteering or working, it's a different dynamic. You'll meet new people find a circle, and meet people through those people. You won't have all eggs in one basket.

To conclude
Please do international dating but do make sure that you're not visiting a country because of one person you met on-line. Your focus should be on expanding social horizons & making friends. You might have heard of the so-called 'abundance mentality'. The first paragraph of this post is the best explanation. I know it's easier said than done. You should be focused on expanding your social circle rather than whether one girl likes you or not, you'll meet more.




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walrusface
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Re: The best mindset to have

Post by walrusface » September 20th, 2018, 1:12 am

I agree in general in terms of going to live in another country or visiting for a while. Although I'm thinking of going to the Philippines for a holiday soon, and I would like to have someone there I could meet up with. I do want to see the sights as well and all that, but I thought having someone there might make things easier, and give me more impetus to go. I've heard looking for someone online isn't the best way, but in terms of finding a girlfriend, there are certain criteria I'm looking for, such as her not having or wanting kids. As that is quite a particular thing, it seems I would have to be lucky to just meet someone offline with that criteria.
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Zambales
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Joined: August 9th, 2015, 9:41 pm

Re: The best mindset to have

Post by Zambales » September 20th, 2018, 12:24 pm

walrusface wrote:
September 20th, 2018, 1:12 am
I agree in general in terms of going to live in another country or visiting for a while. Although I'm thinking of going to the Philippines for a holiday soon, and I would like to have someone there I could meet up with. I do want to see the sights as well and all that, but I thought having someone there might make things easier, and give me more impetus to go. I've heard looking for someone online isn't the best way, but in terms of finding a girlfriend, there are certain criteria I'm looking for, such as her not having or wanting kids. As that is quite a particular thing, it seems I would have to be lucky to just meet someone offline with that criteria.
The women I've met from the Philippines (age range 26 to 38 with the majority of them in their thirties) have all been childless so it's not uncommon. They are very family orientated so expect them to want kids although the 38 year old I dated never did.

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