8 Reasons why I'm ostracized from dating in America

1) People in the US do not generally socialize outside their clique and are uncomfortable meeting new people, especially women. They are only willing to do so through mutual friends. And they do not generally talk to strangers unless its business-related or if they are asked for directions. Socially they are very noninclusive. The only inclusive groups in the US seem to be groups composed of all men, or church groups (but we all know that church groups are "supposed" to be that way).

Genderwise, men are far more likely to be the exception to this than women. So, when someone remarks about how friendly people are in America, it's usually an attractive female talking about how friendly men are to her, not a man mentioning how friendly the women are to him. Either that, or it's an old foreign couple marveling at all the fake smiles and waves from passing strangers who in reality don't even give a sh** about them and don't even invite them anywhere.

2) American women are generally anti-social and prefer being alone or having the company of other females or pets over men. They'd rather be lonely and spew hatred at men than be with them. When they meet you for the first time, they put up an ice barrier or act distant, overly proper and give fake smiles, making only short superficial conversation. (In contrast, in the Philippines most women who meet you for the first time are very comfortable, behaving as if they already know you, including the hot ones)

3) White American women generally see Asian men as the least desirable on the sexual totem pole, below Blacks and Hispanics. Even the ones that "say" they like Asian men generally don't date them for some reason.

4) Also, white American women generally do not like foreign men, unless they are white British, white Western European or white Australian. They see being with a foreign man of color as a considerable lowering of their status. (In contrast, their white European female counterparts are for more open and willing toward foreign men of color)

5) Many women in the US hate men and have an angry chip on their shoulder toward them, blaming them for all their problems. They see that men who like sex or who even flirt are creeps, insinuating that men should not want sex or be horny. These attitudes are instilled in them by their peers, mothers, and the media. It's also a trend among them too. And they are somehow trained to blow off every guy who likes them, hits on them, or pursues them, calling them "creeps" in the process, as though it were some twisted sport to them.

6) US females tend to be deeply paranoid, induced by the media as well as pop culture, subconsciously believing that everyone is a potential psycho waiting for the chance to come out. Hence they are overly guarded, high strung, and harbor negative stereotypes toward men which they seek to reinforce.

7) American women, including the unattractive ones, now have a sense of entitlement off the charts. They want and "need" too much, are unrealistic and unfair, and are told never to settle for anything else.

8) In America, any young female that is not overweight is considered "hot" or attractive. But since the unattractive females outnumber the attractive ones, the latter becomes so scarce that they have too many choices and become too picky, not being satisfied with anyone almost. Either that, or they get taken early in life and become unavailable. Hence, the average guy has no choices among attractive females in the US. (And having no choices sucks big time and is unacceptable to me)

Whatever the case, the US dating scene is definitely a woman's market. They have all the choices, make all the rules, and have all the entitlements.

And again for the umpteenth time, to those who say that "I" am the problem, if "I" am the problem, then how come "I" don't have any problems dating attractive women OUTSIDE America in the other 200 countries of the world?

What's odd is that although these 8 factors above are as obvious and apparent as the blue sky, they are never mentioned or addressed by the media or on other websites. Me and my internet fans seem to be the only ones not afraid to shout out about "The Emperor's New Clothes". That is bizarre and I wonder why. How can such glaring and dominant trends and behaviors in our society among the female gender receive virtually no publicity?

I know that I am not the only guy without a decent dating life in America, as so many others have written me and continually do so. Probably, most guys would not deny these factors, but they do not consider being dateless and not scoring with hot girls to be such a big deal or a must for them, as me and my kind do. So the general male population in the US do not complain about it, at least not publicly, or they suffer silently in "quiet desperation". Of course, another reason is that since the above real factors are not politically correct, it would be anathema to utter them. And very few people have the courage to be dissidents and vocalize their views.

I am one of the few that do though, and that's why some hate me while others admire me. Take your pick.


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Happier Abroad Grand Ebook
Meet Foreign Women

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." - George Orwell

All very valid points Winston. I am sure a lot of guys can sympathize with what you have written. American women are NOT approachable, NOT friendly, very CLIQUISH and ANTI-SOCIAL. They are not interested in meeting new people except through their friends. However it's hard to make friends in America, thus it's hard to meet women! It's a real catch 22.

Reason number nine ( and possibly number one):  how do you physically compare with the paragon of the all American dateable man and how many of his physical attributes do you have? If these men are 10s, where are you ( and me) on a scale from 1 to 10 ( in America, that is)?http://www.allamericanguys.com/v6all-aagmodels.phpThese are the guys they want to date and think they are entitled to dating.If you ( and I, too) stand by the mirror and then compare ourselves to them, we will see the number one reason of all.And yes, I guess the problem is ''you''- you don't look like these guys, you refuse to wear elevator shoes and do not spend countless hours in the gym. You do not want to get plastic surgery to make your face more in line with teh all American look. Yup, sure the problem is definitely you.Yes, sure with US women, these guys also have problems but not as many as you and I. That is why you do not see that manyof them in Angeles City. But you see people like you and me.


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A brain is a terrible thing to wash!

Also to add to what Ladislav stated, you also have unusual physical mannerisms that are not that attractive to most women, especially western. I think overseas where cultures are different and they don't know what is normal western social etiquette or not, you don't get directly confronted by it like you would in America or any other western country.

The men who typically live in AC full time are generally unusual individuals who would have issues trying to live a normal life in a western country; these are my observations. Because you live in an environment where whoring is considered acceptable for social and business purposes it has warped your perception of what is considered normal social behavior when dealing with woman, not what you "wish" it to be.

AC and other adult entertainment venues in the Philippines are just that, fantasy amusement parks. When I was a kid I remember I hated leaving the amusement park cause I wanted to keep riding the rides. Generally most of the men living full time in AC are like little children not wanting to leave their "adult Disney land". For whatever reasons they made choices in the past that brought them into the situation they are in now where they think that whoring and drinking beer all day is the pinnacle achievement in life.

A man is mature and understands reality when he can enter and EXIT these types of venues without letting the lifestyle control his urges and thus existence and purpose in life. I enjoy going out and having a "boys night out" every once in a while but I have not let this environment change the goals or direction I want to head in life. There is a time to have fun and there is a time to be serious.

I think you understand that you are different from most guys and there is nothing wrong with that, I would even agree with you whole heartedly! Unfortunately you are trying to justify your various fetishes, which are in the minority for most men and blaming it on western women or others who cant understand your reasoning.

I can adapt to dating western or foreign woman. I personally have just had better experiences with foreign woman. But I would not say that it is impossible to not find a decent woman in the states, it just is more difficult. When dating woman in America it is a give and take scenario. They are going to expect you to look and behave at least at a marginal level (what is culturally accepted as NORMAL). If you do not you will be considered strange or unusual and you will be avoided. (unless they are strange or have mental & behavioral issues) Most women will not tell you this straight to your face because they don't want to hurt your feelings. You may not be receptive of the way they do this in other cultures cause they may do it in a different way than American women would. Most men understand this is how woman are and move on to the next one.

Asking these types of questions over and over for years and years in various forms will get you no where. I'm assuming hundreds or thousands of people have given you countless advice in opposite directions. Men going through puberty or in their early 20's usually ask these kinds of questions and then eventually when they mature they figure it out themselves or don't worry about it anymore.

Until you realize your behavior is typically abnormal in comparison to the average male than you will keep asking these questions over and over to justify why others find you unappealing. These types of questions need to be asked and dealt with internally, not externally.

If you don't want to change the way you look, act or your personality in regards to how others perceive you then you will always be dealing with the sort of rejection you describe. If you're comfortable with who you are in life than stop asking these types of questions and just live your life without involving others in trying to give you advice which it seems you don't consider much.

I would have to say that the reason you keep asking these questions is because deep down you aren't satisfied with where you are in life and you are trying to justify your predicament by questioning the social reality you come in contact with on a daily basis, but you can't psychologically adapt or accept it.

I'm not interested in endlessly replying to this statement to justify my thoughts on the matter cause I don't have time for it and couldn't be bothered; but I and I'm sure others are kinda tired of the narcissistic questions that are really for your own benefit and lifestyle justification and not much good to others for the most part.

Just get on with your life, if it's f***ed up accept it and deal with it. If you don't want it to be f***ed up anymore than do things that the "MAJORITY" of society does to fix it. There are countless, researched ways to improve ones life in various contexts. It usually takes time and effort, not complaining however.

Complaining about it to this forum and through email doesn't do much but exacerbate the issue further into your consciousness making the situations you describe keep living on and on, with no end in site - thus self-creating the reality you perceive.


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"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.

Mr S,
What unusual physical mannerisms are you talking about?

I am not complaining about life. I am merely listing some reasons why I couldn't have any dating life in America.

I am not complaining now, but raving.

Your language makes it sound as though you are saying that non-western women also dislike or turn me down cause of my unusual mannerisms or behaviors, but that is not the case at all. Here in the Philippines for example, I hardly ever get rejected, and I literally, am the one who does the dumping. But very rarely does a girl blow me off. As I mentioned before, I connect with girls here on a level that most western guys can't.

Thus, the girls here do not have any problem with me being unusual or inappropriate, so I'm not sure where you get that. For the first time, you are being vague.

In fact, weirdness is appreciated and tolerated here, that's what misfits love about the Philippines.

But I am not crazy, I just move at a different rhythm and frequency than most people, but almost all my thoughts and actions down to the last detail are logically choreographed usually. A crazy person isn't as consistent and coherent as I am.

And FYI, I rarely go out to any bars anymore. I have other things to do and other areas of life I'm focusing on. I am involved in spiritual pursuits as well. Look at what I've been posting in the religion/spirituality section here lately, for example.

PS - The bars are not all fantasy. The sex is real, and sometimes real relationships are formed from them. Two of my guests here are now in steady relationships with bar girls for example, and have been for several months. Sure their relationships go up and down, but they are steady and together at least. I know you don't like steady relationships much, but when you find a person you connect or bond with, then it's your choice. I could have had some relationships that way if I wanted to too. BTW, both those guys' girlfriends already quit the bar for them (without paying any steady barfine) You met one of these guys already when I brought him barhopping with you, but he doesn't like his name mentioned on forums or lists, that's why I don't say his name. But anyhow, the point is, it's not all fantasy. The girls are for rent, yes, but real relationships can come from them too. It's what you make of it.


_________________
Happier Abroad Grand Ebook
Meet Foreign Women

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." - George Orwell

Dating in America is very competitive! Just like with Darwins theory, only the strong survive. I have had guys in college who were from countries abroad tell me the women from their countries were far more approachable and friendly than American girls are. These guys said women are just more open to meeting men in public places (grocery stores, book stores, etc.) than American women are. It has to do with the culture and attitudes of the people from a particuliar country as how things shape up socially.