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Do most people feel unloved and unwanted in America?

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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Tue Dec 28, 2010 11:43 pm

ajushi wrote:I am the one with an insecure attachment style because I was neglected and abused by my mother and abandoned by the father, like 10s of millions of other Americans these days raised in divorced families. I am the one with abandonment issues as a result, giving me a virtually non-existent thresh hold for dealing with rejection and break ups with the American women who are impossible to please mainly because I am in fact insecure, wounded, and so on as a result of my own background.



I am the one who, as a result, struggles with a deficient sense of social belonging and even struggles at work and is insecure in relationships (not a good thing to be with already masculine, domineering American woman.) In fact, I and every man I know from my kind of background is single because of it - they are too insecure to function normally in relationship.


I know American men who are well adjusted with loving American wives. Several in my own town here come to mind..... Every single one of these men comes from a solid multi-generational family and upbringing. I do not. The men I know who come from my kind of background are also all single. A bandaid can not be put on this by going to Europe, etc.


Now that's my story and it doesn't apply exactly to all, but I believe that all the guys on here, and many of the ones looking for foreign wives, are f***ed up somehow like me, coming from my kind of background in one form or another and I dare any of you to deny it.




We are all F*** up in one way or another because we currently live a harsh existence where we have to use other people or submissively let other people use us to survive. It sounds like a simple set up, but abuse and exploitation is always a constant reoccurring theme.


As far as growing up, I grew up in a dysfunctional home too, and I agree that it changes the way you think about people and relationships. You tend not to trust people and you look out for yourself; not a bad thing considering the type of world we live in.

The thing for me however, once my mother is gone, that's it, I have nobody else so that means, if I start a family, and get married, I don't get any help from elders, uncles, grandparents or anybody.

That's crazy, I'm not going to sign up to do everything on my own! And it's not about money or dowry, it's about having grandparents that you can talk to when your relationship with your wife is on the rocks, or having a sister help watch your kids so you can let your hair out with a night out on the town.

I strongly believe that people who don't have anybody to turn to in a time of need (even just to talk) have a higher propensity for mental illness. So with that said, I'm avoiding getting involved in relationships where I put my fragile emotions and mental well being on the line.

This does not mean that I'm extremely f*** up, it just means that I'm smart enough to know that it's not wise to extend my emotions to a stranger who could emotionally devastate me knowing that I don't have any backup (family, friends) to help me rebuild myself.
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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:11 am

ijohn wrote:There is some truth to the family issue though. Before our adolescence we are shaped by our parents and our upbringing. There is a strong instinct to repeat our parents patterns. Most of us learn through conditioning. There is a strong instinctual fear to leave our parents patterns no matter how destructive they might be. If our source family patterns have been damaged or we find their ways uncomfortable we have to learn how to make new ones. This is very difficult for most people and brings with it its own sets of anxieties and problems. It can feel at least initially like entering an open space without any guides or rules.



I agree. The hardest issue for me was to renounce the Christian faith. I was ingrained in Christianity since I was a child, and was told to talk to something that did not talk back to me like a lunatic, but as time went on, I realized that, for example, giving money to the church does not make you more prosperous, or that believing in god/bible does not make your life better. I simply chose to look at the truth and not "have faith" regardless of the consequences; it was very liberating to say the least.
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Postby ssjparris » Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:45 am

@ northamericanguy i am with you right here bud. I totally agree when you said that you do not want to put yourself in a relationship when it is just going to be emotionally taxing. american women are all bitches. its very very negative experiences i have had with them. extraordinarily difficult to be with. i am focusing on mature foreign relationships from now on.
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Postby ijohn » Wed Dec 29, 2010 6:50 am

From a business perspective, I think he's afraid to agree with you Winston because he does not want to upset his Amercian clientele/customers.

Also, don't be surprised that he's not as open minded as you would think because he's probably not a real "zen master" or whatever anyway. For example, most of the martial arts taught in this country is a water down version that is solely used to make money.


You do have to be careful with American Zen. It is an odd mix of old forms brought from Japan, the meditation itself, a healthy doze of judgementalist calvinist protestantism combined with faux new age spirituality that insists on everything as sunny cheery optimistic and people are always only ever nice and an obsessive, frightened political correctness, the last three of which have nothing to do with Zen.

The graceful ease, that immense quiet silence that you would feel from an old style zen teacher from Asia, you won't see much of it in american zen. You certainly can find good teachers who are real but you do have to be a little discerning. Every teaching can be taken in various ways but if you are not careful you could combine mindfulness with the worst of calvinist judgementalism and find yourself rather than being at ease every moment, judging your every moment. Given the kind of people whom it draws you are also less likely to make long term friends there.

Still american zen does not have the dour rigidness you might find in the Japanese version. It can be a little more colorful and light and a little more fun. Leaving your conditionings is a difficult process fraught with anxiety, fear and danger and you can find yourself in spaces of great aridity and emptiness. Sometimes you don't leave your conditionings, they leave you and it can happen to people anywhere, not just in America. If you are in America and going through a process of leaving your conditionings spending some time in a zen center is a good option. You will have a safe healthy container in which to rebuild yourself and have people to share with which is vital. Preferably find a center that is full of people and allow yourself to be immersed in the practice for a while. Just don't take it too seriously, don't expect to make too many long term friends and know that your teachers are highly imperfect and have their own conditionings, take what they say with a grain of salt. After all everyone who is in American Zen is a convert of some kind, and has the general anxiety and neurosis of someone who has converted.
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Re: Jack Duffy, Counselor and Zen Teacher, denies our claims

Postby Winston » Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:29 am

Northamericanguy wrote:From a business perspective, I think he's afraid to agree with you Winston because he does not want to upset his Amercian clientele/customers.

Also, don't be surprised that he's not as open minded as you would think because he's probably not a real "zen master" or whatever anyway. For example, most of the martial arts taught in this country is a water down version that is solely used to make money.


But what a counselor says to you is confidential and not shared with other clients. So why would that be an issue?

Well he teaches Zen and has studied with masters, so he may be smart in one area but totally clueless in another. If you look at his photos you can see that he is a closed minded person in general. I didn't get any brilliant insights from him during our sessions, that's for sure. Even the psychiatrist in the movie "Blade" gave more intellectual insights than he did. lol. And especially the psychiatrist in the movie "Silence of the Lambs" (played by Anthony Hopkins) was far more intellectual and insightful about human nature.

So how come counselors in real life aren't as brilliant as Anthony Hopkins' character was? lol
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Postby ssjparris » Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:16 am

yeah i know the pyschiatrists are pretty silly compared to movie characters. the pychiatrists in real life are really not supposed to help anyone. but to worsen people's condition.
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Postby dreaux » Sat Jan 01, 2011 6:08 pm

Hi, I am new to this forum but have been reading Winston's posts/articles on a semi-regular basis since around 2007. I can't deny that I resonate with a lot of what he writes about and also with what I have read in some of the other posts here. Kudos for having the courage to say what no one else is willing or aware enough to say. There are many ways of looking at these things but it is evident most of us share the feelings of isolation and wasteland that modern western society has become. There are many who perhaps feel this too but live in quiet desperation.

There are also many who are completely ignorant of these viewpoints and who are 100% fine with the way things are. Perhaps it is we who are the fools. My entire family/Everyone I grew up with is married now or otherwise happily (it seems) on 'lock down' - they are "sold out" Christians, married to 9-5 jobs, have bought into the system, etc. I see apparently happy people all the time - then I must turn to the theories of myself or others for consolation.

Underneath all our theories, solutions are what we all seek. I always aim to be empirical, yet I know my viewpoint will always color my experience of the world. I have proven to myself over and over that whatever I focus/dwell on I see/notice more of, automatically, in everyday life. At the same time it seems that these issues are all-pervasive and that maybe the grass really is greener on the other side. At the same time, Mick Jagger "Can't get no satisfaction", Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for, and the Buddha said life is imbued with unsatisfactoriness.

Personally the closest guess I can make in our timeline of human history is that we are all (humanity) seeking a sense of "tribe". What else are we equipped for? This code is written into our very DNA. Yet, our beliefs fragment us into a million separate pieces and we feel that separation.

I have recently been thinking about how our Puritan forefathers came over here and brutally wiped out the tribes of Native Americans who were living in peaceful harmony and oneness with the earth. They came over here with their Bible and forced that program upon them, brought the warring life to them as an invader - all in the name of a "loving" God. Jesus said the meek shall inherit the earth - well its been over 2000 years and I have yet to see that. Those that make war and kill and steal have inherited the earth. The assholes are winning.
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Postby Grunt » Sat Jan 01, 2011 6:23 pm

I have said for years now that there has been a sea change in American culture. America is no longer about what each person does with their life, but about what each douchebag does to screw up everyone else's life.

Its no longer about asking yourself "How can I start my own business?" or "How can I have a successful marriage?".

Today its about millions of mindless trolls asking themselves "How can I ruin this other guys business?" and "How can I ruin this other guys marriage?" They literally dont know what else to do with themselves.

Since it takes far less effort to destroy than to create, the system works quite well. Now America is filled to overflowing with petty little bitches (male and females) that are constantly looking for something, ANYTHING, to use against anyone and everyone around them.

Cutting someone off in traffic for no reason, closing a door in someones face, gossiping, backstabbing, tripping people up, thats what America is all about now.

Virtually every person you see around you is constantly scanning around them and asking themselves one simple question over and over in their mind, from the moment they wake till the time to go to sleep.

Who can I screw over? Who can I screw over? Who can I screw over? Who can I screw over?

Once you understand this universal rule that dominates our femino-centric dictatorship, everything suddenly makes perfect sense. You now instantly understand how to deal with everyone in any possible situation.

Once I figured out this one primary rule, I started having far fewer problems in life. I now have a far greater degree of control over my life and have recently begun to successfully preempt my enemies, thus leaving them in very unfavorable positions.

More on this if anyone is interested.
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Postby gsjackson » Sat Jan 01, 2011 7:34 pm

Yes, tell us more, Grunt. I had thought the country was just suffering from an epidemic of complete and utter incompetence, but out-and-out malice would explain my experiences also. I'm thinking in particular of people I give money to for services -- lawyers, realtors, property managers, investment advisers, etc. They all -- all of them -- could not serve my interests any less if they were plain and simple trying to screw me. So maybe that's what's going on.

Word of advice -- don't give money to anyone in this country for products or services that you don't absolutely need. Chances are excellent that you will be throwing away your money.
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Postby Grunt » Sat Jan 01, 2011 8:56 pm

Funny you mention "professional" as that is a pet topic of mine lately. I am a disabled veteran and for the most part the "lawyers" that "help" disabled veterans access their earned benefits are "National Service Organizations" and their "Service Officers". This would be the American Legion, Disabled American Veterans, or the Veterans of Foreign Wars.

I filed my first VA Compensation & Pension claim back in 1993, and a full pension application in 2001. The DAV screwed up my claim back in 2001 and set the stage for me to become homeless as a result. Back in 2009 the Department of Veterans Affairs got busted shredding claims and evidence wholesale. Like 70% of all Regional Offices were simply obliterating anything that wasnt nailed down. Some of this evidence was irreplaceable like birth certificates and original discharge forms. I said back in 2001 this was going on, and of course I was told I was insane, that the gov't would NEVER shred files, and that I was probably with Osama bin Laden for saying such a thing.

I also said back in 2001 that the Service orgs were complicit in this scam, and sure enough, I was right on that count too. "VFW worker shredded files, but responsibility for loss remains uncertain" - http://www.jsonline.com/watchdog/pi/100740139.html.

As I said before, I effectively took over my own claim after the DAV sabotaged it. I decided back then that any rights you assign to others, you must not want. So the service orgs got me to 30% disability from 1993 to 2001, but I got myself to 100% within a year and a half of taking over personal control of my claim. I learned the system and used the rules against the VA. I am coming up on my 10 year anniversary of the VA and DAV basically stabbing me in the back.

The system, and those that are a part of it, are making BIG MONEY by leaving the system EXACTLY THE WAY IT IS. They will NOT allow ANYONE to "rock the boat". When my wife and I moved from Montana to Virginia my goal was to use all I have learned to help as many veterans as I can. I myself have been stabbed in the back by the VA and service orgs, and I cant say I enjoyed it. I wont sit by and let the VA screw my fellow veterans.

The VA, and the system, do not appreciate my efforts and do all hey can to hinder my progress. Case in point, http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/04/19/ve ... -disorder/ and http://www.veteranstoday.com/2010/08/19 ... -harassed/ and yes I am Glenn McBride.

Along with the BS I get from the VA Regional Office, I get BS from the VA hospital as well. Not to go too much into detail, but the VA hospital subjected me to negligence and abuse. The abuse was blatant, and it was intentional, and I have permanent damage due to it. But since I know the rules, unlike most of my fellow veterans, I have filed a $3.7 million dollar malpractice suit against the VA hospital. The claim is going very well and should go to court this spring. My claim is extremely, and unusually, similar to the Deasy vs US case back in the 90's. http://www.veteranstoday.com/2010/06/23 ... treatment/

So whats the point of my story? The lawyers dont want to help you, they want to DISSUADE you. I have spoken to DOZENS of lawyers about my VA malpractice case. I would say 99% of them are VEHEMENTLY against me filing a lawsuit, even though there is merit. Why? Because they know if *I* sue the VA and win, someone ELSE might sue the VA...and win! Then soon, a whole swarm of veterans will begin suing the VA, and even worse, they might get so good at it, that they dont need lawyers anymore!

I study 38 C.F.R. every day, I research Board of Veterans Appeals case histories very often, along with Federal court claims and legislation from congress that impacts veterans, and I have even taken a legal training course in veterans law (got a 95% score too). Why am I doing all this? Because I discovered that everyone nobody else has the balls to do it. Its the old military adage, if you cant find someone to lead the charge against the enemy machine gun nest, you are most likely that leader.

Now what possible reason would these lawyers and service officers and others have to trip up a disabled combat veteran that had a blatantly obvious case of medical malpractice? Easy, they are a pack of back-stabbing traitorous swine that are looking to screw anyone and everyone they can for any excuse whatsoever. But once you understand that fact, they become much easier to deal with, and perhaps even manipulate.

As I said before, once you understand the motivations of your enemy, you can effectively know what he will do in advance. Case in point. Did anyone read the story above where got arrested at the VA Regional Office? Guess what? I had a hidden camera running the whole time. I walked into the lobby with the tape running. The VA even wrote a letter to my senator denying they had me arrested. Too bad I got footage of it all, AND a witness

How do you think the VA is going to beat that little bit of evidence in court?

Understand what motivates your enemy, and life becomes easy. You might even walk away a millionaire if you play your cards right.
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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:20 am

ijohn wrote:
From a business perspective, I think he's afraid to agree with you Winston because he does not want to upset his Amercian clientele/customers.

Also, don't be surprised that he's not as open minded as you would think because he's probably not a real "zen master" or whatever anyway. For example, most of the martial arts taught in this country is a water down version that is solely used to make money.


You do have to be careful with American Zen. It is an odd mix of old forms brought from Japan, the meditation itself, a healthy doze of judgementalist calvinist protestantism combined with faux new age spirituality that insists on everything as sunny cheery optimistic and people are always only ever nice and an obsessive, frightened political correctness, the last three of which have nothing to do with Zen.

The graceful ease, that immense quiet silence that you would feel from an old style zen teacher from Asia, you won't see much of it in american zen. You certainly can find good teachers who are real but you do have to be a little discerning. Every teaching can be taken in various ways but if you are not careful you could combine mindfulness with the worst of calvinist judgementalism and find yourself rather than being at ease every moment, judging your every moment. Given the kind of people whom it draws you are also less likely to make long term friends there.

Still american zen does not have the dour rigidness you might find in the Japanese version. It can be a little more colorful and light and a little more fun. Leaving your conditionings is a difficult process fraught with anxiety, fear and danger and you can find yourself in spaces of great aridity and emptiness. Sometimes you don't leave your conditionings, they leave you and it can happen to people anywhere, not just in America. If you are in America and going through a process of leaving your conditionings spending some time in a zen center is a good option. You will have a safe healthy container in which to rebuild yourself and have people to share with which is vital. Preferably find a center that is full of people and allow yourself to be immersed in the practice for a while. Just don't take it too seriously, don't expect to make too many long term friends and know that your teachers are highly imperfect and have their own conditionings, take what they say with a grain of salt. After all everyone who is in American Zen is a convert of some kind, and has the general anxiety and neurosis of someone who has converted.


Good points.
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Re: Jack Duffy, Counselor and Zen Teacher, denies our claims

Postby NorthAmericanguy » Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:31 am

Winston wrote:
Northamericanguy wrote:From a business perspective, I think he's afraid to agree with you Winston because he does not want to upset his Amercian clientele/customers.

Also, don't be surprised that he's not as open minded as you would think because he's probably not a real "zen master" or whatever anyway. For example, most of the martial arts taught in this country is a water down version that is solely used to make money.


But what a counselor says to you is confidential and not shared with other clients. So why would that be an issue?

Well he teaches Zen and has studied with masters, so he may be smart in one area but totally clueless in another. If you look at his photos you can see that he is a closed minded person in general. I didn't get any brilliant insights from him during our sessions, that's for sure. Even the psychiatrist in the movie "Blade" gave more intellectual insights than he did. lol. And especially the psychiatrist in the movie "Silence of the Lambs" (played by Anthony Hopkins) was far more intellectual and insightful about human nature.

So how come counselors in real life aren't as brilliant as Anthony Hopkins' character was? lol



Yes, that's true about the confidentiality agreement, but openly you are asking him to comment on a sensitive topic that he might not want to share his thoughts on out of fear of backlash.

I know for me, as a business man who caters to people from all walks of life, I know it's a chance that many of my customers might not want to work with me if they found out that I dislike America, and dislike Amercian women. I would be viewed as a unpatriotic misogynist.

Just though simple talks with Amercian women, and Amercian people, I have found out that they get highly upset and defensive if you try to shed some light on our eroding civilization. They just don't want to hear it as they are suffering stockholm syndrome.
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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Sun Jan 02, 2011 1:03 am

Grunt wrote:Funny you mention "professional" as that is a pet topic of mine lately. I am a disabled veteran and for the most part the "lawyers" that "help" disabled veterans access their earned benefits are "National Service Organizations" and their "Service Officers". This would be the American Legion, Disabled American Veterans, or the Veterans of Foreign Wars.

I filed my first VA Compensation & Pension claim back in 1993, and a full pension application in 2001. The DAV screwed up my claim back in 2001 and set the stage for me to become homeless as a result. Back in 2009 the Department of Veterans Affairs got busted shredding claims and evidence wholesale. Like 70% of all Regional Offices were simply obliterating anything that wasnt nailed down. Some of this evidence was irreplaceable like birth certificates and original discharge forms. I said back in 2001 this was going on, and of course I was told I was insane, that the gov't would NEVER shred files, and that I was probably with Osama bin Laden for saying such a thing.

I also said back in 2001 that the Service orgs were complicit in this scam, and sure enough, I was right on that count too. "VFW worker shredded files, but responsibility for loss remains uncertain" - http://www.jsonline.com/watchdog/pi/100740139.html.

As I said before, I effectively took over my own claim after the DAV sabotaged it. I decided back then that any rights you assign to others, you must not want. So the service orgs got me to 30% disability from 1993 to 2001, but I got myself to 100% within a year and a half of taking over personal control of my claim. I learned the system and used the rules against the VA. I am coming up on my 10 year anniversary of the VA and DAV basically stabbing me in the back.

The system, and those that are a part of it, are making BIG MONEY by leaving the system EXACTLY THE WAY IT IS. They will NOT allow ANYONE to "rock the boat". When my wife and I moved from Montana to Virginia my goal was to use all I have learned to help as many veterans as I can. I myself have been stabbed in the back by the VA and service orgs, and I cant say I enjoyed it. I wont sit by and let the VA screw my fellow veterans.

The VA, and the system, do not appreciate my efforts and do all hey can to hinder my progress. Case in point, http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/04/19/ve ... -disorder/ and http://www.veteranstoday.com/2010/08/19 ... -harassed/ and yes I am Glenn McBride.

Along with the BS I get from the VA Regional Office, I get BS from the VA hospital as well. Not to go too much into detail, but the VA hospital subjected me to negligence and abuse. The abuse was blatant, and it was intentional, and I have permanent damage due to it. But since I know the rules, unlike most of my fellow veterans, I have filed a $3.7 million dollar malpractice suit against the VA hospital. The claim is going very well and should go to court this spring. My claim is extremely, and unusually, similar to the Deasy vs US case back in the 90's. http://www.veteranstoday.com/2010/06/23 ... treatment/

So whats the point of my story? The lawyers dont want to help you, they want to DISSUADE you. I have spoken to DOZENS of lawyers about my VA malpractice case. I would say 99% of them are VEHEMENTLY against me filing a lawsuit, even though there is merit. Why? Because they know if *I* sue the VA and win, someone ELSE might sue the VA...and win! Then soon, a whole swarm of veterans will begin suing the VA, and even worse, they might get so good at it, that they dont need lawyers anymore!

I study 38 C.F.R. every day, I research Board of Veterans Appeals case histories very often, along with Federal court claims and legislation from congress that impacts veterans, and I have even taken a legal training course in veterans law (got a 95% score too). Why am I doing all this? Because I discovered that everyone nobody else has the balls to do it. Its the old military adage, if you cant find someone to lead the charge against the enemy machine gun nest, you are most likely that leader.

Now what possible reason would these lawyers and service officers and others have to trip up a disabled combat veteran that had a blatantly obvious case of medical malpractice? Easy, they are a pack of back-stabbing traitorous swine that are looking to screw anyone and everyone they can for any excuse whatsoever. But once you understand that fact, they become much easier to deal with, and perhaps even manipulate.

As I said before, once you understand the motivations of your enemy, you can effectively know what he will do in advance. Case in point. Did anyone read the story above where got arrested at the VA Regional Office? Guess what? I had a hidden camera running the whole time. I walked into the lobby with the tape running. The VA even wrote a letter to my senator denying they had me arrested. Too bad I got footage of it all, AND a witness

How do you think the VA is going to beat that little bit of evidence in court?

Understand what motivates your enemy, and life becomes easy. You might even walk away a millionaire if you play your cards right.


I feel so sorry for guys like you, I have been studying all the complications that the solders came down with after returning from Operation Desert Storm and I'm certain it's from the vaccines.

The government was experimenting with weaponized mycoplasma which is so small the body can't fight against it so the body appears to be attacking itself. You then can't get treatment from a conventional doctor because they know nothing about bio warfare let alone how to do the proper testing.


Start here:

http://www.immed.org/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lU12h6lW ... re=related

http://www.amazon.com/Project-Day-Lily- ... 1413485189


For you people who think the government would not do this think again. I'm reading a book right now that I have been told is required reading for a CIA employee and the book gives examples how the government funnels money into "black" projects to develop advanced weaponry. Biological warfare is very real.
Last edited by NorthAmericanguy on Sun Jan 02, 2011 1:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Grunt » Sun Jan 02, 2011 1:17 am

"I know it's a chance that many of my customers might not want to work with me if they found out that I dislike America, and dislike Amercian women." - Northamericanguy

You have just offered the very definition of gynocratic dictatorship. Females walk around openly with shirts that say "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" but men must cower in fear over the thoughts they express in the privacy of their own home.

Dont feel sorry for me, I knew what I was getting into when I joined the military. What I dont appreciate is being exposed to toxic omnicidal weapons like DU and mycoplasma.
How to deal with newbies that talk much but do little.

Pics or it didn't happen.

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Cool story, bro.

Problem solved.
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Postby Repatriate » Sun Jan 02, 2011 4:47 am

Just finished reading those articles about your fight against the VA. I am pretty impressed with what you are doing Grunt. It's always something to catch the government throwing citizens under the bus. I've always felt the U.S. government and the American public's sentiments about always supporting veterans to be so much smoke and mirrors superficial hogwash. When it comes down to budget cuts and actually interacting with old vets the government and people are generally apathetic and even contemptuous when you are in actual need.
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