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I think I'm getting what he really wants.
1. When it comes to girls and people in general, he likes illusions - easy smiles and conversation from cute girls, people who will flatter or flirt with him, and give him hope even if its just a tease. He would prefer such an environment to one where putting in hard and smart work might pay-off with good friendships, sex, or even a real relationship, especially if the latter requires dealing with some initial coldness and rejection.
2. He also goes through something common for those who live in multiple environments in a given year - a kind of cycle. I go through this too. When I spend a lot of time in fun areas like Thailand or LatAm, I start to crave the stability and lifestyle I am used to in calmer places such as Taiwan or even the States. But after weeks to months there I crave the excitement of the former locations again. In my base location, I have access to the best food, air, exercise facilities, transport, and ways to conserve and make money. But, at some stage, I long for more excitement and uncertainty, the kind you get from being in less familiar environments with unfamiliar cultures and languages and women too.
3. Taiwan is the stable boring place for Winston. Just a few weeks ago, he was going nuts about the Angeles City physical environment and the problems it was causing him. He talked about going to Washington state to recover. I guess Taiwan is a cheaper and easier option for that.
4. It seems like his sex drive is not that strong so not having access to low cost P4P of Angeles is not such a big issue. Moreover, if he really needs that at some stage, there are some NT$3,000 or so options available in Taichung. That's not that much more than some of the higher priced bar girls in Angeles.
5. When he's ready for fun again, he should consider China, Thailand, DR, or Colombia IMO. He might enjoy some sort of dating advantage in the first two, at least with some girls, if posters are right about the relative attractiveness of first world NE Asians in those places. In DR and Colombia, it would be easy for him to the stuff I mentioned in No. 1 above. In all four places, low cost P4P options are easily available too. He has some Chinese for China and since he's pretty good with new languages, he could probably pick-up Thai and especially Spanish pretty quickly if he were immersed into the environment.
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I really doubt Thailand would be a good fit for Winston. Thais are possibly even more superficial than Filipinos when it comes to things like materialism and looks. The really attractive thai girls tend to like pop singer looking asian men..basically the same preference of Taiwanese women. If an asian man dresses like Jay Chou and is fashionably kept then they will do great here. Thai people are trend mongers and they really like S. Korean/Japanese pop stars.
There are so many attractive Thai girls around though that i'm sure he could date a few but finding the best possible mate might be a lot of hard work with low pay off (like the Phillipines.)
I'd say China is Winston's best bet. Chinese girls really like ABC's. Actually, Taiwanese girls do too but Winston doesn't use this to his advantage nearly enough and I think his looks/style/personality has a lot to do with this. I have encountered quite a few Chinese girls in Thailand studying abroad etc.. and the ones I talked with were always extremely receptive. I currently have been in a relationship with a Thai girl but it was very tempting to hook up with these Chinese students. Quite a few i've met are quite attractive and stand out even from Thai girls and most of them are guaranteed to come from at least a middle class background.
Well don't forget the important issue of food. Thailand destroys PI in terms of quality, options, convenience, and price, vegetarian or non-vegetarian. Also, Thailand offers better value-for-money options for hotels and transport. There's a much larger and more diverse group of expats and visitors in Thailand than in PI. And don't some Thai girls like fatties even though its not the mainstream ideal? I've seen some plump lighter skinned Thai guys with attractive and classy looking chicks there quite a few times. Not everyone can look like an Korean pop idol. If Winston really got his shit together (not likely), he could probably do some real damage there. Otherwise, the non-girl factors still make Thai a much better place than PI in many regards.
BTW, I also noticed a lot of mainland Chinese girls out and about there, day and night. I spoke with them a few times. Some are obviously on the P4P circuit. Others were students. When I asked them whether or not they liked Thailand, most responded with answers to the effect that China is much better, lol. BTW, the Chinese students all seemed quite open and keen to make friends. Maybe China would be another good option for him depending on where he went there.
That's certainly true. Bangkok and Chiang Mai are very comfortable cities to live in and I live in more daily comfort here than I do back in the states. There are a lot of Chinese-Thais so there are Chinese vegetarian restaurants here and even a vegetarian festival. Just from an infrastructure standpoint I think Winston would be very comfortable but socially..i'm not too sure.
Yes, but that's home team advantage. A subpar looking local Thai man with subpar social skills but who understands the culture, language, and social network will have a huge advantage. This is especially true if it's a middle or upper middle class Thai man because they have the pick of the litter. The thai-american guys I know date girls that are literally models. I wish I could emulate their success but i'm just not plugged in enough to this culture to put in that effort to learn the language, acculturate, etc..
You absolutely _have_ to speak Thai here to pick up top notch girls. The same as in the Phillipines.
I find that the best quality Thai girls are still wary of foreigners because of the general reputation of the country and tourists that visit. I don't find that Thai girls who speak English well and hang out in foreign crowds are worth the time..a lot of them have bounced around lots of foreign expats or are secretly involved as pros. These types carry a lot of baggage and are about as untrustworthy as your average American woman. When you hear about expat men having trouble with their "normal" g/f chances are high they met one of these foreigner groupie types.
This is probably why a lot of foreign expats still prefer the Phillipines because the entry barriers and learning curve are a lot less daunting. People can still understand english etc..
Yeah the majority of Chinese students or long stay "visitors" I meet are here for a specific purpose either to make money or studying for only a year. I did get to know a few Chinese teachers who are on a PRC government mandated program to teach mandarin in Thailand. Most of these students are stuck in Bangkok though and haven't had the chance to explore Thailand fully and they aren't interested in outdoor activities so it's pretty apparent why they would say that Thailand isn't that good compared with China.
Yes, this makes sense in the context of hot girls flattering Winston with polite, but meaningless, compliments about his physical appearance.
1. You are a NE Asian with over half a decade in-country. When you first came to Thai, you were already fluent in another tonal language(s) (Mandarin and/or Taiwanese). I would imagine by now, you are very fluent in Thai. After all, Lad picked-it up in a couple year (claims total fluency) with no prior experience speaking anything Asian other than Japanese. How can language still be much of a barrier for you?
2. I don't know what you look like as an individual. But as a light skinned NE Asian, you should should be able to blend right in visually with the Thai urban upper crust and trend setters if you dress and accessorize accordingly. This would put you ahead of the pack (lessor looking Thais and assorted foreigners). You may not be at the very top. But I would imagine you make the 80/20 cut if you are decent enough looking. Isn't Bangkok your personal Happier Abroad paradise?
3. As for baggage, drama, and other assorted byproducts of women, I would be pretty surprised if you didn't get those with non-foreign oriented Thais, especially in the higher classes. In general, the best bet is probably very fresh, young and innocent types - something I found a lot of before in Taiwan.
Winston quite frankly i'm getting tired of your delusional sense of self. YOU ARE NOT GOOD-LOOKING, I REPEAT YOUR ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY GOOD-LOOKING GOT IT. How you can you look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see. You can't even see or feel your own jawline because it's all covered up with fat. You can't even see your own penis looking down in a urinal or standing up because your fatass belly is in the way. Honestly look at you, do you have any testerone left in your body (if there was any to begin with.) You're aging like an old woman Winston.
You think all of us here take pleasure looking at a genetic disaster such as yourself.
Don't even reply back because i don't want to read none of your bs delusional thinking. Also dont pin me to death asking me 154 questions so you could feel you've won an argument.....
My Thai language skills are mediocre. Enough for light chat and practical purposes. I didn't invest much time and effort into it because the vast majority of my friends in Thailand, Thai and foreign alike, speak english or were born abroad. I don't have any 100% born and raised local thai friends because there's just not much in common. By the way real fluency is understanding the slang and being able to talk as if you're a local Bangkok Thai. I really doubt Ladislav was that fluent. Being able to order Khao pat Gai and making comments about how a girl is suay mak doesn't mean much if you want to date seriously.
I'm an average looking guy so yes those attributes do work to my benefit but there's a lot of other cultural issues that are similar to what people say about the rest of SE Asia. It's intellectually low brow, superficial, extremely materialistic etc.. I admit i'm a bit jaded with Thailand now and am actually looking more at NE Asia (Taiwan) these days. I am in an existing relationship with a Thai girl now but I really doubt i'll marry. I just don't see any future in it.
I haven't lived in Taiwan for a significant length of time but I believe that girls who are smarter and a culture less mired in a complex about foreigners and their women is a better situation. I'd prefer getting to know girls that have more future potential as a mate as well.
Plus I don't believe my situation in Thailand is all that unique. There are a lot of hip young foreign guys these days trawling the night clubs and universities for the same set of women. I do think that has had an affect on how a lot of Thai girls in general are starting to react too.
True, but the younger and fresher they are the more you have to be at their level of cultural understanding in Thailand. Do you like going to cheesy Thai rock concerts with them or karaoke? Do you have the patience to get them up to your level or is it just short term dating fun?
Another thing to keep in mind is that Thai girls in general are probably less-worldly than even Filipinas. Their understanding of the world is very thai-centric and predictable. That doesn't make them stupid but very limited in potential and compatibility.
Edit: Another thing that I should make note of is that a lot of guys hype Thailand just like how some people hype the Phillipines. It does have a p4p scene that's superior to the rest of Asia so that is incentive enough for most expats to stay on. However, the type of girls that I like the most for dating (thai-chinese looking) are more naturally found in Taiwan than Thailand. The darker, diminutive, short girls do nothing for me and that's the type of girl that the majority of foreign men go for here which is why it's paradise for them.
1. OK, if your Thai is limited, I can see how that would make a difference in your ability to localize. Definition of fluency may depend on who you ask â€“ does it take accent into account, does it require high ability in all 4 skills (reading, writing, listening, speaking) or just the verbal side, does it just require colloquial and everyday common street talk or also account for ability to discuss deeper topics such as econ, current events, concepts, etc. etc. I donâ€™t know how well Lad would score on all those fronts. But I do know that Diane complimented his ability in another foreign language (Tagalog) saying he barely had any accent.
2. As for Taiwan, keep in mind if you ask local women (probably men too) who are late 20s or older, theyâ€™re probably going to tell you todayâ€™s young generation is very different â€“ much more open, shallow and superficial, materialistic, etc., basically more the way you describe a lot of young Thais. Personally, I think thereâ€™s a broader tendency for the not so young generation to overestimate such differences in any place and point in time because they themselves are maturing and their own values are subtely shifting. And if you are seeking serious LT relationships, you might wanna stay at mid 20s and above anyway unless you find an exceptional younger girl. Maybe giving your homeland a shot is a good strategy if you break ties with your Thai gf and are looking to get serious. Even Winston feels that most Taiwanese are basically good at the core and tend to make loyal long term partners.
3. What you say about Bangkok is not surprising. Thailand has gone from backwater to cosmopolitan sexy in just a couple decades. Its one of the worldâ€™s highest profile destinations for men of all levels and backgrounds in search of women for sex, dating, or marriage â€“ bulk of dating arbitrage opportunities have been competed away in this saturated market. The real gemâ€™s for this are relatively low profile.
There is definitely a thai mindset here that is highly valued. I will say that Thais are very accepting of foreign asian people who make an effort to fully acculturate into Thai society. If you speak Thai fluently you will be considered Thai in just about everything except the legal benefits that come with official citizenship. I have seen various foreigners take this step but I don't feel there's enough value in it. Acculturating yourself in this way is more than pretending but a willingness to live a dual-culture (or in my cases a tri-cultural) existence. Men that expect to carve out a piece of western or their own society in Thailand usually fail miserably and end up caving to the pressure by becoming more local or become of those cynical barstool expats settling for an inferior choice of a partner and constantly complaining about the culture.
True, young people have some of the same attributes anywhere you go but what i'm talking about is more core cultural behavior which remains even into adulthood for many Thais. The culture itself is fairly unappealing to me now and i'm realizing it's incompatible with my longer term desires in having an intelligent well rounded mate.
Much of that attraction is leveraged heavily in the p4p scene. Even "normal" girls can be involved in it after a time or take on roles in sponsorship which is basically the same as prostitution. Like you said the pool of high quality well rounded girls is reduced. There's a lot of casual dating and fun to be had but if you want stability and a all around good person it's a hard search.
I believe these girls are available based on Thai language fluency but for someone with limited language skills the pool is shallow. I'm not sure if it's worth the significant time investment to look for it here when I can go elsewhere and have a better chance by knowing the language and having most of the girls meet my initial appearance criteria.
The primary reason I stayed on in Thailand so long is the wide range of activities here and the infrastructure. I enjoy scuba diving and it's relatively easy to do here on a frequent basis. I also have friends that I have known for awhile and a girlfriend. All that has been difficult to leave behind. I am certain in the next 6 months i'll be leaving for awhile at least.
edit: By the way I certainly wouldn't refer to Taiwan as my "homeland" as I wasn't born or raised there at all.
Winston, could you please upload some of your other video content soon? I am referring to the videos removed by Youtube. Seems like their service will no longer be a viable resource for your site. It is kind of annoying to click on the links in your articles or the ones in the video index, and they are dead links now. Is it difficult to convert the youtube video format into the new one? I wanted to see this one, but couldn't: America vs. Abroad: Social, Dating, Mental Health.
You are giving up without fight!!! No matter what your parents said or what other people said if you think you have a better opportunity dating a Philippians women JUST DO IT..
What could you loose? If not? don't worry there more women in the world.
Don't give up cause if you do that you'll be alone for ever..
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
5. When he's ready for fun again, he should consider China, Thailand, DR, or Colombia IMO. He might enjoy some sort of dating advantage in the first two, at least with some girls, if posters are right about the relative attractiveness of first world NE Asians in those places. In DR and Colombia, it would be easy for him to the stuff I mentioned in No. 1 above. In all four places, low cost P4P options are easily available too. He has some Chinese for China and since he's pretty good with new languages, he could probably pick-up Thai and especially Spanish pretty quickly if he were immersed into the environment.[/quote]
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
Jeinmy, I wasn't saying that he would be considered attractive in DR or Colombia. But you have to understand, Winston thrives on superficial attention - strangers who flash him lots of smiles and random women who are approachable, similar to what he experienced in Russia. Here again is No. 1 above:
When it comes to girls and people in general, he likes illusions - easy smiles and conversation from cute girls, people who will flatter or flirt with him, and give him hope even if its just a tease. He would prefer such an environment to one where putting in hard and smart work might pay-off with good friendships, sex, or even a real relationship, especially if the latter requires dealing with some initial coldness and rejection.
I think DR and to a lessor extent Colombia are good for this kind of stuff. So Winston would probably be pretty happy with the naturally outgoing nature of so many Dominicans you see out and about in Santo Domingo. Don't you think Winston would like your country? And wouldn't you love to be his guide and translator if he ever showed-up, lol?
So, here's a question for Winston: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... p?p=108807
Last edited by Falcon on Wed Dec 05, 2012 8:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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