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British man on the horrors of dating American women, Funny!

Discuss what's wrong with American women. Share problems, experiences and stories about them and why they suck so bad that you've had to resort to dating abroad and foreign women.

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British man on the horrors of dating American women, Funny!

Postby Winston » Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:32 am

Check this out. BellaRuth referred this story to me. It's so funny and true.

A British man talks about his dating experiences with American women in NYC:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/sho ... p?t=131569

It's hard dating American women
by Toby Young

Leah McLaren, a 26-year-old Canadian, has written a piece for The Spectator complaining about how pathetic English men are. The poor girl has been living in London for several months and no one has made a pass at her. Now, I know what you're thinking. Perhaps she's not that pretty. Well, you're wrong. I've met Leah McLaren and she's an absolute knockout. Indeed, I was so bowled over that when she told me about her difficulties with men it was me who suggested she write an article about it. That such a goddess can move through London society without being deluged with requests for dates is a terrible indictment of the English male. In Manhattan she'd be snapped up in a New York minute.

Without wishing to denigrate Ms McLaren, though, my own experiences with North American females have taught me to avoid them like a swarm of bees. I spent five years living in Manhattan and, frankly, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than go out on date with another American woman.

I always found the experience of being on a date in New York extremely uncomfortable. The trouble is, like most Englishmen, I'm very easily embarrassed. There's something far too direct about going out with someone solely with a view to assessing their suitability as a sexual partner. I prefer to sneak up on women and, when they're not looking, rugby-tackle them into bed.

North American women, needless to say, prefer a more politically correct approach. On the few occasions that I was able to persuade them to go out with me, I always marvelled at how unselfconscious they were about sizing me up. They invariably had a check list of questions that they shamelessly ran through over the course of the evening. What did I do for a living? What part of town was my apartment in? What kind of car did I drive? It was less like a romantic encounter than an extremely tough job interview.

Even when I managed to jump this fence, I was still a long way from the finish line. North American women have a reputation for promiscuousness that is thoroughly undeserved.

They may demand equality in the workplace, but when it comes to romance they expect to be treated like Jane Austen heroines. As Leah McLaren writes in her article, “In North America, it is generally understood that men chase women, and women, in turn, leave themselves open to being chased.â€￾ But the word “chaseâ€￾ scarcely does justice to the ridiculous obstacle course that has to be completed before an American girl will go to bed with you.

At the end of the first date – which invariably cost me an arm and a leg – I was lucky if I got so much as a kiss. As a rule , I didn’t get past her doorstep until the third date and, even then, it was unlikely to be for anything more than a quick snog. It was as if they were still following the pattern they’d established in high school, even though some of these women were well into their thirties. Once you’ve embarked on the dating rat run in America, there are no short cuts to the cheese.

Part of the problem was that, as a short, balding, William Hague-lookalike with no visible means of support, I wasn’t considered much of a catch. When American women complain that there’s a shortage of eligible men – and Leah McLaren is no exception – what they mean is there’s a shortage of tall, unattached, rich men who still have their own hair.

I tried everything to turn myself into a more eligible bachelor. My father, the late Michael Young, was a life peer and I applied for an American Express card in the name of “Hon Toby Youngâ€￾ in the hope of impressing my dates. Unfortunately, when the card arrived it was in the name of “Hon Youngâ€￾. Whenever I produced it at the end of a long meal, my dining companion just assumed I’d stolen it from a Korean medical student.

I even hired a market research company to “rebrandâ€￾ me. This involved convening a “focus groupâ€￾ of six American women between the ages of 18 and 35 and having a professional market research consultant lead them in a discussion of my shortcomings while I sat behind a two-way mirror. It was a brutal experience. The low point came when the consultant asked them if they’d ever consider having sex with me. I can still hear the gales of laughter to this day.

The problem is, American women judge potential partners according to how many attributes they possess rather than what they’re like as people. These are, in descending order: social status, net worth, physical appearance, apartment, summer house and, a long way down the list, personality. No man is held to possess any intrinsic value – we’re all just the sum of our assets.

Luckily, towards the end of my time in New York, I met a nice English girl. Being from London, Caroline was a breath of fresh air. If anything, she was an inverse snob, more likely to rule men out if they were too conspicuously successful, particularly if they rammed it down your throat.

She was less preoccupied with men’s external attributes, however dazzling, and more interested in what they were like on the inside. That was lucky for me. The fact that she found me funny was also a big help. American women never laughed at my jokes – and I mean never.

Perhaps the biggest difference between English and North American women is that English women just seem to laugh a lot more. Wherever I look in London, I see women throwing their heads back and roaring with laughter; it’s like some wonderful, Hogarthian pageant. In New York the women always looked uptight, their spirits as undernourished as their bodies.

I followed Caroline back to London two years ago and last Sunday, over a glass of champagne in Le Caprice, we celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I wish Leah McLaren the best of British luck in her hunt for a decent Englishman. My tip would be to shed some of her nasty North American dating habits and start laughing at our jokes.
Last edited by Winston on Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:38 am

I loved these parts. They are so true!

North American women, needless to say, prefer a more politically correct approach. On the few occasions that I was able to persuade them to go out with me, I always marvelled at how unselfconscious they were about sizing me up. They invariably had a check list of questions that they shamelessly ran through over the course of the evening. What did I do for a living? What part of town was my apartment in? What kind of car did I drive? It was less like a romantic encounter than an extremely tough job interview.


The problem is, American women judge potential partners according to how many attributes they possess rather than what they’re like as people. These are, in descending order: social status, net worth, physical appearance, apartment, summer house and, a long way down the list, personality. No man is held to possess any intrinsic value – we’re all just the sum of our assets.
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Postby Winston » Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:48 am

A couple more viewpoints of US girls by British men:


American Women. You can only spend so long with one before you crack. They’re out there, they’re loud, they’re bitter and they’re kooky. After a while all the things that attracted you to them: confidence, conversation, nice teeth, begin to bug you. You think you’ve got Black Beauty and you end up with Mr. Ed.

--

And something else. That first date with an American girl, it’s like it’s supposed to be a big-time dinner, instead of just going to a pub with friends. So you end up dropping like $90 while she’s doing her checklist.

--

One of the first questions is always: “What car do I drive?â€￾ Martin says. “If I have the latest BMW or drive a Chevy, does it make a difference? And they want to know what apartment you live in. Do you live in Bellevue, because if you tell them you live in Everett, they don’t want to know you.â€￾

--

It was like being with a nasty bank manager, rather than someone with whom you hope to sleep. … American girls are possibly the most wound-up people on the planet. They don’t believe in laughing: Instead, they would go to ‘laugh class’ to find out how, then solemnly say it had changed their life.
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Postby adam917 » Mon Jun 21, 2010 4:00 pm

Looks like Mr Leykis was 100 % right. A date is really an interrogation and the ladies/girls want you to pay for the whole thing too, no matter how much it costs.
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Postby BellaRuth » Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:13 pm

So these seem accurate observations?
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Postby Winston » Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:19 pm

BellaRuth wrote:So these seem accurate observations?


I think so. But the story above was in NYC. I haven't dated there. But I have heard about the women judging men by their assets though. You're lucky you're not an average guy in the US. lol

It's good to know that UK girls don't usually judge men by their money, otherwise I'd be at the bottom there too. lol
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Postby BellaRuth » Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:31 pm

Winston wrote:It's good to know that UK girls don't usually judge men by their money, otherwise I'd be at the bottom there too. lol


Nah, this would be really rare. I don't know anyone who would give it importance. I guess it'd be seen as tacky.
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Postby Master » Tue Jun 29, 2010 11:03 am

british guy wrote:

I even hired a market research company to “rebrandâ€￾ me. This involved convening a “focus groupâ€￾ of six American women between the ages of 18 and 35 and having a professional market research consultant lead them in a discussion of my shortcomings while I sat behind a two-way mirror. It was a brutal experience. The low point came when the consultant asked them if they’d ever consider having sex with me. I can still hear the gales of laughter to this day.




When it gets this bad you know you have to shoot yourself. Holy crap you have to pay to change your every fault to meet women's expectations of nyc? and still they have the audacity to laugh at your face while you do this humilating process? Id like to see the process go the opposite way. I bet i can come with a million list on how id like them all to change.


The best part of the story was that he married that lone london hottie. It couldve ended a lot worst. and his advice? no he should not give advice to any of those psychos. He shouldnt even be caught dead a million miles away.
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Postby Adama » Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:24 pm

USA/Canada are probably the only countries on earth where women will ask you "what do you do" within the first 2 minutes of knowing you. This is far more important than your name or how you are feeling. It is an instant 'wallet biopsy,' and it shows what women's mindsets are.

These women bring nothing to the table except for their presence. They expect to give nothing, only to take.
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Postby Master » Wed Jun 30, 2010 8:11 am

what i also dont get is why are canadians the same way. They have such attractive people its a shame that all that gets taken away from their personality.

They lie you lie. Im a buisness administrator, Im a business owner, I own a house, I own a car. Just make sure you are always on top of your lies. I doubt these women know anything or care about your job. If you have sex with them and they catch you on lie you can always say later i didnt know that meant that much to you or i didnt know you were a gold digger or maybe it worked didnt it? you can always move on to the next.
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Re: British man on the horrors of dating American women, Fun

Postby jamesbond » Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:40 pm

Winston wrote:A British man talks about his dating experiences with American women in NYC:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/sho ... p?t=131569

It's hard dating American women
by Toby Young

Without wishing to denigrate Ms McLaren, though, my own experiences with North American females have taught me to avoid them like a swarm of bees. I spent five years living in Manhattan and, frankly, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than go out on date with another American woman.

North American women, needless to say, prefer a more politically correct approach. On the few occasions that I was able to persuade them to go out with me, I always marvelled at how unselfconscious they were about sizing me up. They invariably had a check list of questions that they shamelessly ran through over the course of the evening. What did I do for a living? What part of town was my apartment in? What kind of car did I drive? It was less like a romantic encounter than an extremely tough job interview.

They may demand equality in the workplace, but when it comes to romance they expect to be treated like Jane Austen heroines. As Leah McLaren writes in her article, “In North America, it is generally understood that men chase women, and women, in turn, leave themselves open to being chased.â€￾ But the word “chaseâ€￾ scarcely does justice to the ridiculous obstacle course that has to be completed before an American girl will go to bed with you.

I wasn’t considered much of a catch. When American women complain that there’s a shortage of eligible men what they mean is there’s a shortage of tall, unattached, rich men.

The problem is, American women judge potential partners according to how many attributes they possess rather than what they’re like as people. These are, in descending order: social status, net worth, physical appearance, apartment, summer house and, a long way down the list, personality. No man is held to possess any intrinsic value – we’re all just the sum of our assets.

Perhaps the biggest difference between English and North American women is that English women just seem to laugh a lot more. Wherever I look in London, I see women throwing their heads back and roaring with laughter; it’s like some wonderful, Hogarthian pageant. In New York the women always looked uptight, their spirits as undernourished as their bodies.

Man, this guy hit the nail on the head when he described American women. I especially liked the part when he said, he would rather stick pins in his eyes than go out on a date with another American woman! :lol:

I also liked it when he said, "In New York the woman always looked uptight, their spirits undernourished as their bodies."

Another great line of his was, "When American women complain their is a shortage of eligible men, what they mean is that their is a shortage of tall, unattached rich men."
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
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Postby christmas » Fri May 17, 2013 7:46 pm

Aww this makes me sad. I'm an American woman and I'm not like that at all. I can understand why people would expect it, though, based on a lot of women I've seen throughout my life here. I wish people wouldn't generalize because there are perfectly wonderful ladies in the US who don't have the emotional issues described above, and I would hope that good British gentlemen wouldn't be put off because of someone else's bad experience. I'm probably biased, though, because I'm in love with an Englishman :) He does find me "very American", but he seems to view that as a positive thing, or attractive, or whatever.
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Postby kai1275 » Fri May 17, 2013 9:18 pm

What a SCATHING article that was!!! I can still feel the heat from those burns long after I read it! I never noticed why we have to tell them what we do for a living and other things within 5 mins of meeting them, but it made me think about how I met my fiance. She did not ask me any of those questions within the first 2-3 weeks of meeting her. She didn't know how big my house was until many months later. Nor did she really seem to care much about it either at the time.

Speed dating American Women should be outlawed now. This is proof.
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Postby Contrarian Expatriate » Fri May 17, 2013 9:51 pm

christmas wrote:Aww this makes me sad. I'm an American woman and I'm not like that at all.


It makes you sad? It should make you outraged.

Also, your claim that you are "not like that at all" is just what each and every other American women would falsely claim. Fact is, you likely are indeed like that given your social conditioning.
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Postby christmas » Fri May 17, 2013 10:28 pm

Not so much outraged, because it really isn't my problem. It is sad, though. Sorry, you don't know me and you sound bitter. Just because you say it doesn't make it true.
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