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My checklist

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My checklist

Postby Johnny1975 » Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:26 pm


I think it's important to have a checklist. However, I'm wary of women who are very conscious of their checklist, especially if it contains a lot of irrelevant and unnecessary or superficial stuff.

But I think men should have very clear checklists.



Here's my basic checklist :

* Honest

* Loyal

* Submissive

* Attractive

* Good sex

* Interesting / intelligent

* Loving / generous / respectful

* Gracious / plays fair

* Conscience / accountability

* Humility

* Level headed / sensible

* Has pride / dignity / class

* No major psychological issues

* Self esteem / positive / happy

* She likes me

* Strong (good work ethic, self discipline, passion, motivation, purpose, inner strength, coping skills)

* Independent (Identity, individuality, self reliant)

* Friendly, likeable, wholesome

* Feminine

* Humour, fun, playfulness

* Good character, honour, values, principles

* Emotional composure, rational, moderation, self restraint

* Trusting

* Communication skills

* Easy to get along with (i.e. not passive aggressive)

* Healthy

* Enough commonality and differences to make it interesting

* Communication, understanding, compatibility, good outlet for each others' personalities

* Connection, intimacy, bond, closeness

* We get / understand each other (intentions, tone, mood)

* We're good for each other (companionship, help each other, bring out the best in each other, fulfilment)

* It's possible to be with her (isn't going away anywhere, is single, no kids, no admirers hanging around, is ok with never getting married, wants kids, is ok with sex before marriage, has time for me, doesn't live too far away)



It's a very long list, but it's only the important things. Some of it is obvious, but even obvious things are easily overlooked, especially when one's dick is doing the thinking, that's why it's important to do all the thinking beforehand, as I'm doing. There are many other little things that could be added, but pretty much everything can be covered by the above. Please note that I'm flexible. Not everything on the list has to be adhered to 100%, and I'm prepared to make compromises and see everything as a whole, and in context, and take the woman's culture into account.

What do you think of that list?
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Re: My checklist

Postby BellaRuth » Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:04 pm


I haven't even thought of doing a checklist.

If I had one, it would be:

- Nice man. I guess this could bracket off into lots of different things, but I want it to be broad. Just a nice guy without a violent temper.

- Faithful. I would never tolerate cheating.

- Healthy. I wouldn't want to worry about him getting ill.

I'm struggling now. Haha. I'm going to have a think about it.

I'm not sure having a checklist is a good idea. Maybe it's best to just go with the flow. A lot of the things you've said could be grouped together or even go without saying. For instance, you said 'no major pyschological issues'- well, of course, no one wants to deal with that.

You just want a nice, normal girl, really.
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Re: My checklist

Postby Johnny1975 » Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:19 pm


BellaRuth wrote:I haven't even thought of doing a checklist.

If I had one, it would be:

- Nice man. I guess this could bracket off into lots of different things, but I want it to be broad. Just a nice guy without a violent temper.

- Faithful. I would never tolerate cheating.

- Healthy. I wouldn't want to worry about him getting ill.

I'm struggling now. Haha. I'm going to have a think about it.

I'm not sure having a checklist is a good idea. Maybe it's best to just go with the flow. A lot of the things you've said could be grouped together or even go without saying. For instance, you said 'no major pyschological issues'- well, of course, no one wants to deal with that.

You just want a nice, normal girl, really.


Women get to meet men very often, because men are pursuers, and women are the pursued. Women don't have to do much to meet a guy. But we have to do the pursuing, and more often than not, we are rejected, that's just the way it is. So when a guy gets a girl, he feels very lucky, because it's not an everyday thing. The result of this is that so many guys settle for a woman who looks ok, seems nice, and gives him the time of day. That's just not good enough. Many red flags are missed because the guy is too busy feeling lucky to notice them. That's why a checklist is very important. When I think back to the only girl that I ever went out with, I'm amazed at how many warning signs I either missed or ignored, because I was just glad to have a girl around. That girl had more red flags than China. Also, a lot of guys marry a woman without really thinking about what type of person she is.

Going with the flow leads to disaster. Even obvious things can easily be missed. Even something as basic as honesty is easily taken for granted. For example : a guy goes out with a girl, and she mentions that her mum cheated on her dad. The guy thinks nothing of it. Then, at some point, she mentions that she cheated on a boyfriend, but hey that was years ago. Then, further down the line, she mentions that she has rather a lot of male friends. The guy thinks nothing about it, and always finds ways to rationalize those warnings signs away. Then, eventually, she cheats on him.

For those reasons, it is so important for a guy to have a checklist. It doesn't matter how obvious something is, guys miss the warning signs all the time because they don't think. Just because it sounds romantic to go with the flow, it doesn't mean it's the best way to go. It's possible to have a checklist, keep it in mind, be honest with oneself about what kind of girl he's dealing with, and still go with the flow to a reasonable extent. The dating process shouldn't just be cracking jokes, telling interesting stories, and making superficial assessments. It's about seeing if the other person is right. Life is too short to not have some standards in mind.
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Re: My checklist

Postby BellaRuth » Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:27 pm


That gives me something to think about.

Perhaps I do have quite a long checklist myself and have just never verbalised it.

For instance, I hate arrogance, so that would be on my checklist. A lot of the points you made I would also make on my checklist.

I suppose it helps to get these things down clearly so you don't get too swept away by someone unsuitable.
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Re: My checklist

Postby Johnny1975 » Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:34 pm


BellaRuth wrote:That gives me something to think about.

Perhaps I do have quite a long checklist myself and have just never verbalised it.

For instance, I hate arrogance, so that would be on my checklist. A lot of the points you made I would also make on my checklist.

I suppose it helps to get these things down clearly so you don't get too swept away by someone unsuitable.


Yes, that's what I mean. If you think about it, we all have very long checklists, we just don't don't always consciously know what our list actually is. All I've done is crystalise my thoughts in order to consciously always be aware of what I want. The trick is to make the list consist only of important stuff.

I'm also working on a list of questions, topics to bring up, and scenarios to pose, as a way of seeing if a woman meets my criteria. Not that I'd just blurt them all out and interview her. I'd weave them naturally into conversations.
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Re: My checklist

Postby Winston » Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:01 am


Checklists don't matter. Love is not logical and cannot be predicted or managed with formulas or checklists. It's all about chemistry, attraction, and the energy between the two people. That's what it really boils down to doesn't it?

We've all heard women say about their partners "When we first met, he wasn't really my type. But I eventually fell for him." Haven't we?
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Re: My checklist

Postby Renata » Fri Jun 21, 2013 5:37 am


Winston wrote:Checklists don't matter. Love is not logical and cannot be predicted or managed with formulas or checklists. It's all about chemistry, attraction, and the energy between the two people. That's what it really boils down to doesn't it?

We've all heard women say about their partners "When we first met, he wasn't really my type. But I eventually fell for him." Haven't we?


That's exactly what I was going to say lol .... it is all about chemistry first for me too & then all the pieces fall into place after, or not. In the end you want to be forever happy.
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Re: My checklist

Postby Johnny1975 » Fri Jun 21, 2013 7:18 am


Life is too short wasting it with one person after another who has major flaws in their character / personality.
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