Ladies Discussion Forum

[Johnny1975]

I think it's important to have a checklist. However, I'm wary of women who are very conscious of their checklist, especially if it contains a lot of irrelevant and unnecessary or superficial stuff.

But I think men should have very clear checklists.



Here's my basic checklist :

* Honest

* Loyal

* Submissive

* Attractive

* Good sex

* Interesting / intelligent

* Loving / generous / respectful

* Gracious / plays fair

* Conscience / accountability

* Humility

* Level headed / sensible

* Has pride / dignity / class

* No major psychological issues

* Self esteem / positive / happy

* She likes me

* Strong (good work ethic, self discipline, passion, motivation, purpose, inner strength, coping skills)

* Independent (Identity, individuality, self reliant)

* Friendly, likeable, wholesome

* Feminine

* Humour, fun, playfulness

* Good character, honour, values, principles

* Emotional composure, rational, moderation, self restraint

* Trusting

* Communication skills

* Easy to get along with (i.e. not passive aggressive)

* Healthy

* Enough commonality and differences to make it interesting

* Communication, understanding, compatibility, good outlet for each others' personalities

* Connection, intimacy, bond, closeness

* We get / understand each other (intentions, tone, mood)

* We're good for each other (companionship, help each other, bring out the best in each other, fulfilment)

* It's possible to be with her (isn't going away anywhere, is single, no kids, no admirers hanging around, is ok with never getting married, wants kids, is ok with sex before marriage, has time for me, doesn't live too far away)



It's a very long list, but it's only the important things. Some of it is obvious, but even obvious things are easily overlooked, especially when one's dick is doing the thinking, that's why it's important to do all the thinking beforehand, as I'm doing. There are many other little things that could be added, but pretty much everything can be covered by the above. Please note that I'm flexible. Not everything on the list has to be adhered to 100%, and I'm prepared to make compromises and see everything as a whole, and in context, and take the woman's culture into account.

What do you think of that list?

[BellaRuth]

I haven't even thought of doing a checklist.

If I had one, it would be:

- Nice man. I guess this could bracket off into lots of different things, but I want it to be broad. Just a nice guy without a violent temper.

- Faithful. I would never tolerate cheating.

- Healthy. I wouldn't want to worry about him getting ill.

I'm struggling now. Haha. I'm going to have a think about it.

I'm not sure having a checklist is a good idea. Maybe it's best to just go with the flow. A lot of the things you've said could be grouped together or even go without saying. For instance, you said 'no major pyschological issues'- well, of course, no one wants to deal with that.

You just want a nice, normal girl, really.

[Johnny1975]

[BellaRuth]

That gives me something to think about.

Perhaps I do have quite a long checklist myself and have just never verbalised it.

For instance, I hate arrogance, so that would be on my checklist. A lot of the points you made I would also make on my checklist.

I suppose it helps to get these things down clearly so you don't get too swept away by someone unsuitable.

[Johnny1975]

[Winston]

Checklists don't matter. Love is not logical and cannot be predicted or managed with formulas or checklists. It's all about chemistry, attraction, and the energy between the two people. That's what it really boils down to doesn't it?

We've all heard women say about their partners "When we first met, he wasn't really my type. But I eventually fell for him." Haven't we?

[Renata]

[Johnny1975]

Life is too short wasting it with one person after another who has major flaws in their character / personality.