Ladies Discussion Forum

[Falcon]

While visiting Winston in Las Vegas, I had a chance to meet up with fellow forum member Natalya. Natalya and I both wholeheartedly agreed that American men are also as cliquish, superficial, conformist, judgmental, and light-headed as their American female counterparts. She prefers dating foreign men too, because their personalities are much more compatible with hers.

On the men's forum, posters often rate women on a "1-10" scale based on physical looks, which I simply could not do. I've been bashed on the men's forum for refusing to recognize this system, since I genuinely believe that each woman is beautiful in her own unique way, and thus can't be rated like objects. I believe doing so is very demeaning and superficial. To me, personality counts far, far more than whether or not the girl looks like a model.

I've also dated ladies who are not what many men would consider to be "attractive," and have been made fun of by Western guys too because of that. This superficiality goes for many Americans, whether male or female. Some of this may happen abroad too, but not to the extent that it does in the US.

This issue has been discussed in this thread too: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=13598

What do you think?

[Sunshine]

I never was one to do the "on a scale of 1-10" thing. Sure, when you meet someone for the very first time, the first thing you notice is their appearance (unless you're seeing impaired of course), but to judge people based solely on looks alone is just stupid.

My opinion on that matter may be biased tho since most american men do not find me attractive lol so I may just be bitter, but I have friends and ex-boyfriends from all walks of life and with varying degrees of attractiveness/unattractiveness (my second boyfriend had a terrible unibrow ) and they all have wonderful personalities that I would have missed out on if I stopped at looks alone. It also works the other way around, my sister and I have met many a "hottie" that had nothing but cobwebs up stairs. I guess if you're able to strip it down to literally JUST looks, then a 1-10 scale is appropriate. For example: On a scale of 1-10 how much do you like (insert popular car here). I just prefer not to treat people as objects like that.

That isn't to say that I haven't seen someone and thought "Wow... he's very attractive." but my next thought is always personality or possible hobby related.

I wonder how some of the guys fit on their own 1-10 scale

[Renata]

I've no experience with american guys. I just met a few briefly. I have an american brother in law but I've only spent time with him twice, he seemed quite nice and fun to be around. I'll have to say looks do matter but it's not the omni-important characteristic of a man. To sum it up I have to have chemistry with the guy, he may not be the most handsome but if he makes me happy & we've got great chemistry, we gell well & have more good days then bad days then, that's what's important.

Some people limit themselves to just dating 9's or 10's based on looks only, that makes their options less. Less opportunity of meeting the right person. I do believe that first impressions count though; meaning when you spot someone & have a liking for them instantly. That's either primal instinct or based on looks only, I'm not sure.

I've had guys pm me with pics asking to rate them on a scale of 1-10 ... it's hard to do especially if you don't know that person. Pics can be misleading too.

[NinjaPuppy]

A relationship based on physical attraction is just that. Basically it's great for a sexual relationship but won't get you through life beyond that. It all depends on what the individuals want in a relationship. If you are looking for a life long mate or spouse, then you had better have a common interest or those long nights are going to be pretty quiet and dull.

Finding that you can be good friends out of the bedroom is a good way to start off a relationship. Besides, we each see different qualities or things that we think are sexy in different people. I also think that we all have a 'type' that we are attracted to. As long as there is some common bond and chemistry, what does it matter when it comes to looks.

[Hispano]

for me, I have seen flaws in the 1-10 rating scale. i personally used it in the past but now, I only have the ratings of very attractive, attractive, ehhh maybe, and not attractive. those ratings are for me, included in both looks and personality (lets face it, we all use looks to judge and we try to get with who's the most attractive to us).

[Winston]

Falcon,
I don't remember her saying that guys aren't approachable. I don't think she would say that though, because she told me many times that guys hit on her and approach her in Las Vegas as though there were no boundaries.

But I do know for sure, and I'm sure everyone would agree, that men and women in America are definitely NOT the same in terms of approachability. Women are far more paranoid and closed toward strangers than men are, by many times. I have no problem at all starting up a conversation with a guy in America. They aren't as fearful toward strangers and don't have the same kind of wall. Men and women in America are definitely NOT the same in this regard. I'm 100 percent sure of that.

Even Natalya (Amber) says that American women put up that "don't bother me, mind your own business" wall up to her and other women too. So even if you're a woman, it's not that easy to meet other young women.

Older women are easier to talk to though. They are more down-to-earth and grew up in a friendlier generation. It's the younger ones that aren't, who are paranoid and brainwashed by the media to think that they are all hot princesses who think they are too good for most men, and that men in general are creeps and unnecessary and best avoided, unless he's really hot or in the top 10 percent of men in terms of looks and status.

I do agree that the 1 - 10 rating scale is strange, because you can't quantify beauty on a numerical scale like that, since a lot of it subjective, personal and subject to emotion. I don't know how or why guys use such scales. But I heard that men like to categorize things and put them in boxes to make things easier to understand, whereas women prefer to just say "it depends on the person" and not quantify people or put them in categories.

[BellaRuth]

I've never heard of this scale, thankfully! Surely it's only used by teenagers?

It becomes a sad state of affairs when grown men talk about women on a 1-10 scale of attractiveness. How boring.

[Winston]

[Sunshine]

I'm not condoning it by any means, because I think those things are ridiculous, but beauty pageants also showcase a talent section and a small personality section where the people usually answer some sort of question.

Announcer/Host: "If you could wish for anything what would it be?"
Miss Alabama: "World Peace! (standard answer)"



Tho a certain Miss Caitlin Upton of South Carolina really blew this section... pretty girl tho haha

Get me out of here!!