I have Asperger's and along with my love-shyness, this has influenced the fact I have never been in a committed long-term relationship. Winston and others have had successes in relationships abroad. Would it make a difference if a person was in that environment and had Asperger's, affecting their communication and interaction skills?

It depends. How bad are the symptoms? Can you describe them?

It also depends on your looks, personality, the tolerance of the women, etc. But yeah, there is someone for everyone I think.


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"The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth." - H. L. Mencken

"Just look at us. Everything is backwards. Everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media destroy information, and religion destroys spirituality." - Michael Ellner

"The greatest awakening I underwent in my travels is that nations in reality are the exact opposite of how they are depicted in the media." - Ladislav

Asp wrote:

I have Asperger's and along with my love-shyness, this has influenced the fact I have never been in a committed long-term relationship. Winston and others have had successes in relationships abroad. Would it make a difference if a person was in that environment and had Asperger's, affecting their communication and interaction skills?

My best friend has Tourette's Syndrome which is probably just as serious as Asperger's. Fortunately for him he married a filipina, they have been married now for 25 yrs. now and have 3 kids. It hasn't been easy for them to keep there marriage together but they managed to pull it off. Don't let your medical problems hold you back. As long as you date filipinas you have an excellent chance of having a successful relationship.

Incidently, my best friends brother would probably be voted in high school as the person most likely to succeed. He's tall, handsome, athletic, nice personality, excellent student and healthy. However, he married a white woman and ended up getting divorced, go figure!

Well, my symptoms are strong enough that when seeking a diagnosis for the condition, doctors had absolutely no doubt I had Asperger's and it was easy for me to get a diagnosis quickly. Sometimes other people struggled to get a diagnosis.

My social interaction is good compared to others with the condition, as I have few problems interacting with others with the condition. On the other hand, my social interaction is almost all limited to other people with Asperger's, there being an Asperger society and an autism centre here where I've successfully been able to make circles of friends. And compared to the average NT (non Asperger's/autistic) my social skills tend to not be up to their level. I find it too easy to get pushed into the background in a group of NT's, especially because I struggle with people's sense of humour which is pretty much a prerequisite in social groups it seems, and I'm sure also in most relationships as women value a good sense of humour. I have severe problems with non-literal communication, as I communicate and understand things extremely literally, and this includes jokes and banter which oil the wheels of social communication so much.

Other things where I am limited, and risk marginalising me from groups, include extremely narrow, limited interests, which tend to be in the domain of geography and demographics. (It's because of this interest that I've come to an understanding of what it is that makes places, notably non-coastal US, more favourable places to find relationships, at least online.) Therefore, more chance of having less in common with people. And the fact I probably don't come across as very expressive, as I've been told my use of facial and hand gestures is somewhat reduced. Apparently I have constant, but not intense, eye contact. And there's the difficulty I've had forming intimate relationships - face to face, offline - which as I've said elsewhere I don't blame on my culture.

My symptoms are serious enough that I also find myself experiencing interpersonal discrimination at work (other than being lucky enough to have supportive managers), and more than a few difficulties with neighbours and living in neighbourhoods, since something must be making me come across as different. I have had jobs terminated in the past because of my communication difficulties. Employment is a problem for me, as once I've had a job terminated, it's very difficult for me to get another one, because of communication problems. Suffice to say I required 26 interviews before getting the job I'm currently in.

However, I have a verbal, lexical and numerical ability that's far in excess of my social skills, and indeed far in excess of most people's.

Asp, there is another poster here with Asperger's, I hope he will see this thread and reply to you, he is Adam917.

Thanks for describing what it's like to have this condition, it's interesting for me to read it from your viewpoint.

Filipinas are lovely as partners. I know one who came here to marry a British guy. They are also extremely beautiful.

Good luck finding your girl.


_________________
Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win,
By fearing to attempt.

- Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

Asp, quite honestly, it sounds like there is nothing wrong with you. Asperger's only became a widely recognized disease after feminism spread and social skills became all-important. Why is it that weak social skills is considered a disease while weak analytical skills is not? Feminism, that's why. I guarantee you that you will find happiness abroad.

Why do you want to socialize with people? As I have gotten to know more and more what people are all about, I have actually gone out of my way to avoid interacting with people. They rarely become your true friends, and if they ever figure you have a leg up on them, they will work in the background to bring you down. Sad portrait of reality, but thats how I see it in North America.

I have aspergers to an extent. Struggling to get out of my shell and interact with people at goth clubs did help, as did meditating.

During my russian trip I noticed that my asperger symptoms seemed to have lessened somewhat. I still had to be careful to read body language and not let my mind wander, but I felt more 'present' then I do now that I'm back in america.

J.Adama wrote:

Why do you want to socialize with people? As I have gotten to know more and more what people are all about, I have actually gone out of my way to avoid interacting with people. They rarely become your true friends, and if they ever figure you have a leg up on them, they will work in the background to bring you down. Sad portrait of reality, but thats how I see it in North America.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I've become quite paranoid myself. I don't even like being around my own family. We stopped having family reunions because no likes each other.

What is Asperger's? What are the primary symptoms of it? How does it incapacitate you exactly?


_________________
"The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth." - H. L. Mencken

"Just look at us. Everything is backwards. Everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media destroy information, and religion destroys spirituality." - Michael Ellner

"The greatest awakening I underwent in my travels is that nations in reality are the exact opposite of how they are depicted in the media." - Ladislav