6000 women approached PART 1. Do looks matter?

[Sexter]

Some of what i'm answering is repetition(repetition is always a good thing, it refreshes information) ... I also give credit to winston and his articles, it's pretty much dead on about american interpersonal relationships.

These questions and answers are "the most common" debates. This is based on PERSONAL OBSERVATION. It's based on neutral evidence in my life. So you might say "my opinions" but my opinion came from a neutral source, and that neutral source is backed up by evidence. (evidence from a neutral belief system, not a negative belief system)


my credibility. I've been in the PUA(pickup artist) industry for over 4 years now, approached roughly 6,000 women! no joke. As a matter of fact, i still actively "cold approach women" on a daily basis, where i'm out at a night club or if I see them on a coffee shop. Of those 6,000 women i've approached, i started to see patterns. I've started to see tons of evidence. Over time, law of large numbers gave me better accurate results.

So here's the overral scenario of the 6,000 approaches

1. 90% of them are thin white women
2. i'm 5 foot 6 filipino american, average looking, no fat or anything, semi fit
3. of those 6000 women I approached, ALL Of them are in america, 99.9% of them i approached in LA/SD area

Common Debate #1 Looks matter vs Looks don't matter

Very popular debate, of those 6,000 approached i've done. Do looks matter?

I say YES! in certain situations. From my experience, looks account about 20-30% of game... a very small portion of game. Most women respond to confidence more than looks. Take an average looking guy with confidence, he will get laid more than a tall good looking guy without confidence. Here are scenarios on where LOOKS absolutely matter and is the "exception to my 20-30%" rule

1. online dating sites (your height and your race). Looks matter so much here, i say 95% IT MATTERS especially if your a guy. YOu aren't giving out your dominance, fun personality, etc so the only attractive thing you are giving out is your profile and your looks. If you are an asian guy who's 5 foot 5, dating site is Probably not for you. I've emailed roughly 400+ women on PoF/okcupid and i only got 2-3 emails back. Some women on these sites are hot but most aren't hot. If you are an asian male who's short, THEN AVOID ONLINE DATING SITES. Unless you have thick skin and dont' mind emailing hundreds of women... You have to understand, women get bombarded with EMAILS so much on dating sites...

2. women who have PLENTY of options(roughly 70% looks matter) (hot girls who are 8s 9s and 10s). Fact is, 8s, 9s and 10s get hit on so much in america, expect her to see at least 2-3 guys and have 4-5 dudes trying to "get at her". Sure confidence can get you far, but at the same time she meets "COOL GUYS" all the time. Some women with plenty of options won't date/f**k guys without a certain height or certain race.

3. Places where it's competitive to meet girls (roughly 50% it matters) (high end clubs, places where she gets hit on a lot, bars, etc) I say, your looks matter as "FIRST IMPRESSION" here. In these venues, height play a very important role because some women take height+certain facial features more seriously than guys who are simply average looking.

4. in a Cold approach (where you approach a woman you previously don't know and you force her to make a quick decision if she wants to get hit on by you) *if you are confident she will chat with you, but if you want to date her, I SAY 70% ure looks matter. Fact is, LOOKS PLAY A MAJOR ROLE HERE. IF you aren't "HER TYPE" then no matter what you say or do, no matter how confident you are, you probably won't get to date her or f**k her. Sure, she might chit chat with you but in platonic conversations. You have to understand the fact that you won't get EVERY women and you will GET rejected. Sure, you can improve on your cold approach skills, but if there was no initial chemistry to begin with, in spite of good cold approach skills, it just won't work(especially if you are talking to her in a non-platonic conversation)

Summary. Do looks matter? SURE DO! but is it important? I say 20-30% it's important assuming you are a normal confident guy. If you aren't confident, then looks REALLY HAVE TO MATTER. In my opinion, women responded to confidence(how you carry yourself) more than Looks; HOWEVER,

Take 2 guys who have equal game, but yet 1 guy is 6 foot 3 and the other is a short average looking guy, when all things are equal (confidence, etc) the guy with the looks/height will have a BIGGER advantage(hence, you will rarely see a short guy date a hot tall girl, or see a nerdy indian guy consistently pull super models at clubs). However, you can improve on other things in your life such as your "social status, your social circle, etc" to improve your overrall value. Thus making looks more irrelevant.

yes there are exceptions out there. I've seen ugly guys land themselves hot girls, but exceptions don't prove the rule. Exceptions don't prove anything actually. MAJORITY Proves the rule.

~Sexter~

[Grunt]

Why on earth would I want to waste my time on some low-grade moron skank from california?

[odbo]

California has the WORST girls (toxic personality) and Los Angeles in particular is a toilet. So you'd have at least slightly better success rate somewhere else. So to anyone reading going "how is this possible!?" ... you haven't been a 16-35yr old male in California. Some areas are better than others but overall it's a pretty sick place.

Keep up the good work on the valuable data.

[jamesbond]

California has the WORST girls (toxic personality) and Los Angeles in particular is a toilet. So you'd have at least slightly better success rate somewhere else. So to anyone reading going "how is this possible!?" ... you haven't been a 16-35yr old male in California. Some areas are better than others but overall it's a pretty sick place.

Keep up the good work on the valuable data.

I have also heard that California has the most phony, shallow, materialistic women on the face of the earth!

Why do so many hot women move to LA? To get into the movie industry, to become a model and to find a rich husband (because LA is where a lot of rich men live).

[well-informed]

So let me get this straight you say

1. Online dating sites, your looks account for 95%
2. For good looking women, your looks count for 70%
3. Clubs, bars, etc , your looks account for 50%
4. Cold approaches , your looks count for 70%

So how do looks account only for 20-30%. Your math is way off when you add all the percentages and you divide it by 4 you get over 70%. So looks aren't 20-30% of the equation.

Also even though i respect the fact that you have the inner strength to approach a whopping 6,000 women, don't you think you're dating life would be better if looks are only 20-30% of the game.

[Sexter]

well-informed, I think you missed this

"""Here are scenarios on where LOOKS absolutely matter and is the "exception to my 20-30%" rule """

So let me get this straight you say

1. Online dating sites, your looks account for 95%
2. For good looking women, your looks count for 70%
3. Clubs, bars, etc , your looks account for 50%
4. Cold approaches , your looks count for 70%

these numbers are my approximate numbers; however, it's very subjective on the person. If you are a tall white guy approaching white girls, then these numbers will probably change moreso than the numbers I got.

Also even though i respect the fact that you have the inner strength to approach a whopping 6,000 women, don't you think you're dating life would be better if looks are only 20-30% of the game.

I came from a "cold approach" perspective. Most people who have a girlfriend either met online or through their social circle, so compariing my dating life to that of a guy who met his GF through "social circle" is different.

also, I cold approach because I love meeting people, not because I'm here to "PROVE A POINT"

[S_Parc]

Dude, if you have the time/energy/gumption to talk to ~6K women, then you have the time/energy to become a sales executive millionaire.

Seriously, you should running conference shows, doing demos, and closing deals all the time. In a few years, your commissions will be from $100K to $1M, depending upon whether you close the big vertical deals or smaller deals with volume.

With that kind of bank roll, you can buy an Ipanema or LeBlon place in Rio de Janeiro, w/ maid & doorman, and have all the women you'll ever need.

Instead, your youth & prime energy output is being wasted on the "Wilshire Boulevard Gold Diggers" brigade.

[Sexter]

Dude, if you have the time/energy/gumption to talk to ~6K women, then you have the time/energy to become a sales executive millionaire.

Seriously, you should running conference shows, doing demos, and closing deals all the time. In a few years, your commissions will be from $100K to $1M, depending upon whether you close the big vertical deals or smaller deals with volume.

With that kind of bank roll, you can buy an Ipanema or LeBlon place in Rio de Janeiro, w/ maid & doorman, and have all the women you'll ever need.

Instead, your youth & prime energy output is being wasted on the "Wilshire Boulevard Gold Diggers" brigade.

S-parc this is a big fat limiting belief. not all the women I approached are "wilshire blvd gold diggers". As a matter of fact, if you have this "limiting belief" then you will find EVERY evidence to support this belief, even though the evidence isn't a big thing.

when it comes to approaching ~6k women, I approached most the women when I was in college. Thus, after class I would either go to the beach/bars/clubs/campus to meet people. And yes, i still graduated, I just happen to be meeting people on a daily basis while going to college. Really though, I never thought it was a waste of time and money approaching people because I find it FUN, and made it as my hobby.

[well-informed]

Oh okay thanks for explaining then

I agree not all women are golddiggers but you have to at least be aware that you're generally approaching women in a VERY superficial environment. In a environment where being average doesn't cut it. Like you said exceptions are not the rule, the majority is

[S_Parc]

S-parc this is a big fat limiting belief. not all the women I approached are "wilshire blvd gold diggers". As a matter of fact, if you have this "limiting belief" then you will find EVERY evidence to support this belief, even though the evidence isn't a big thing.

when it comes to approaching ~6k women, I approached most the women when I was in college. Thus, after class I would either go to the beach/bars/clubs/campus to meet people. And yes, i still graduated, I just happen to be meeting people on a daily basis while going to college. Really though, I never thought it was a waste of time and money approaching people because I find it FUN, and made it as my hobby.

Fair enough, when I was in college, I'd spoken to just about everyone and was quite the social butterfly. During my heyday, I had some 100+ acquaintances a/o friends and had more social events to tend than time on my hands. And yes, I was even dating AWs , contrary to everyone's expectations on this board.

The reason why I sort of no longer subscribe to that jazz is that of the 100, I only know some 10-12 today. I would much rather have spent that time learning Portuguese, Chinese, or some other language & planning for a different life. Too much time was spent on superficial stuff & I still needed to make dean's list, since I wanted to get into some highly competitive internships in the Boston to DC corridor. But at least back then, these internships were available so having two points of focus, schoolwork & campus partying, worked out for me. With today's job market, it's a buyer's market. One may need to move abroad and teach English, if one can't land that entry level gig within a year of graduation, unless one's in healthcare (nursing, PA, etc).

[Sexter]

Fair enough, when I was in college, I'd spoken to just about everyone and was quite the social butterfly. During my heyday, I had some 100+ acquaintances a/o friends and had more social events to tend than time on my hands. And yes, I was even dating AWs Shocked, contrary to everyone's expectations on this board.

that's pretty normal to me. You had access to women thanks to your life style and thanks to your social circle. That's how "normal" people usually date in america, because of Lifestyle/social circle which gave them access to girls.

In my 6,000 cold approaches, ALL of them were cold approaches, not "life style" or "social circle" thus making it harder for me(due to a negative stigma in the USA that cold approa

ch is creepy, or anyone outside someone's social circle is a "rapist/trouble maker".

i'm curious s-parc, what made you have the belief about women then? You said you've dated AW back in your college days, what made you change your belief about them?

The reason why I sort of no longer subscribe to that jazz is that of the 100, I only know some 10-12 today. I would much rather have spent that time learning Portuguese, Chinese, or some other language & planning for a different life. Too much time was spent on superficial stuff & I still needed to make dean's list, since I wanted to get into some highly competitive internships in the Boston to DC corridor. But at least back then, these internships were available so having two points of focus, schoolwork & campus partying, worked out for me. With today's job market, it's a buyer's market. One may need to move abroad and teach English, if one can't land that entry level gig within a year of graduation, unless one's in healthcare (nursing, PA, etc).

it depends. I can sense that you like to spend your time being "productive" or "making money" moreso than just "hanging out with people just because"

that's understandable... TIme is money after all!!

However, when i approached those ~6,000ish women, I never thought it was a waste of time and money. I was building myself a social skill that NOBODY WILL ever have. Approaching a lot fo ppl also helped me become more persistent, have confidence to go out alone, and know how to handle uncomfortable situations. SO I guess I was "sub consciously" learning these things when i approached tons of women.

[S_Parc]

Fair enough, when I was in college, I'd spoken to just about everyone and was quite the social butterfly. During my heyday, I had some 100+ acquaintances a/o friends and had more social events to tend than time on my hands. And yes, I was even dating AWs Shocked, contrary to everyone's expectations on this board.

that's pretty normal to me. You had access to women thanks to your life style and thanks to your social circle. That's how "normal" people usually date in america, because of Lifestyle/social circle which gave them access to girls.

Well, I had numerous social circles back then. I was one of the few intra-clique persons. One peripheral acquaintance of mine, who thought he knew an *unusual* gal on the far point of campus, was shocked when I told him that she was in my biology lab & did a few lab sessions with me. His response was "Do you know everyone on campus?" And to some extent, it was true. I knew artsy types, jocks, premed/pre-health, engineers, artists, the gay/lesbian types (but I quickly stopped hanging out w/ them), the intl crowd, musicians (both successful & failed), business-only/prelaw types, etc.

In my 6,000 cold approaches, ALL of them were cold approaches, not "life style" or "social circle" thus making it harder for me(due to a negative stigma in the USA that cold approa

ch is creepy, or anyone outside someone's social circle is a "rapist/trouble maker".

i'm curious s-parc, what made you have the belief about women then? You said you've dated AW back in your college days, what made you change your belief about them?

Well for one, my sister has histrionic personality disorder. I'd posted a bunch of diatribes about her.

During college, except for one special case, a country gal, the others resulted in psychotic behavior & such. Yes, the gal in my aforementioned biology lab went crazy during junior year, which is why I headed for the door. (I presume my friend never ended up with her). By the end of college, my female friends were 80% international/20% domestic; the ratio became somewhat apparent.

The decent AWs, as time went by, found themselves with abusive boyfriends. There was one, a really cute premed gal, who was after me towards the end of it all, but by then, I was bored of her prior failed relationships. I guess there's a problem with too much information. She later joined a cult during medical school.

As for guys, there was no particular ratio as I got along with everyone.

The reason why I sort of no longer subscribe to that jazz is that of the 100, I only know some 10-12 today. I would much rather have spent that time learning Portuguese, Chinese, or some other language & planning for a different life. Too much time was spent on superficial stuff & I still needed to make dean's list, since I wanted to get into some highly competitive internships in the Boston to DC corridor. But at least back then, these internships were available so having two points of focus, schoolwork & campus partying, worked out for me. With today's job market, it's a buyer's market. One may need to move abroad and teach English, if one can't land that entry level gig within a year of graduation, unless one's in healthcare (nursing, PA, etc).

it depends. I can sense that you like to spend your time being "productive" or "making money" moreso than just "hanging out with people just because"

that's understandable... TIme is money after all!!

However, when i approached those ~6,000ish women, I never thought it was a waste of time and money. I was building myself a social skill that NOBODY WILL ever have. Approaching a lot fo ppl also helped me become more persistent, have confidence to go out alone, and know how to handle uncomfortable situations. SO I guess I was "sub consciously" learning these things when i approached tons of women.

Ok, then I stand corrected. You did something unusual. I guess I tend to look at that as misdirected energy.

I'd used a hypnotist when I wanted to make changes, subconsciously. Before, I was afraid of short term trading, now, as a result of hypnosis, it's rather easy for me.

[Sexter]

During college, except for one special case, a country gal, the others resulted in psychotic behavior & such. Yes, the gal in my aforementioned biology lab went crazy during junior year, which is why I headed for the door. (I presume my friend never ended up with her). By the end ofcollege, my female friends were 80% international/20% domestic; the ratio became somewhat apparent.

I 100% agree with this. But I wouldn't call them "psychotic" or anything, just "mentally unstable"

You have to understand, this isn't the 1960s anymore where women were taught how to fend for themselves, or know how to cook/clean, put on make up etc. This is 2011. A typical young beautiful american woman probably was spoiled most of her life, probably doesn't know how to cook, and every thing was given to her. Because of this reason, when she goes out to "college" or the real world, you see a lot of flaws such as (mentally unstable, bitchy, whiny, etc)

add social conditioning, anti-man society, and feminism--->You get a psychotic american woman.

compare this to a filipina chick who grew up in the philippines. Not every thing was given to her, her life style was probably "humble" and the environment isn't "anti-man, or feminist" because of this, an american woman vs filipina women, you see a massive difference.

The decent AWs, as time went by, found themselves with abusive boyfriends. There was one, a really cute premed gal, who was after me towards the end of it all, but by then, I was bored of her prior failed relationships. I guess there's a problem with too much information. She later joined a cult during medical school. Rolling Eyes

As for guys, there was no particular ratio as I got along with everyone.

it seems like you had a string of unstable and bad relationships. Same goes with me. I've dated plenty of american women and most are mentally unstable/high maintenance/ or bitchy.

not that there's anything wrong with that. NOBODY IS PERFECT; however, given my option, i would rather date outside the USA because mentally unstable american women turns me off.

[S_Parc]

The decent AWs, as time went by, found themselves with abusive boyfriends. There was one, a really cute premed gal, who was after me towards the end of it all, but by then, I was bored of her prior failed relationships. I guess there's a problem with too much information. She later joined a cult during medical school. Rolling Eyes

As for guys, there was no particular ratio as I got along with everyone.

it seems like you had a string of unstable and bad relationships. Same goes with me. I've dated plenty of american women and most are mentally unstable/high maintenance/ or bitchy.

not that there's anything wrong with that. NOBODY IS PERFECT; however, given my option, i would rather date outside the USA because mentally unstable american women turns me off.

Well, sometime during senior year, I'd slowly stopped dating AWs. Weird, but during this transition time, I'd started training myself to take an AW out to dinner but then ... find her boring & not ask her out again, outside of a sporting event with others. Then, after college, it came to a complete halt.

My last AW 'date' involved an ultra liberal Ivy Leaguer & we went to a sushi bar downtown. Well, lo and behold, someone (possibly a black person, but no one knew for sure) snatched her purse (when we weren't looking) & took off. For the remainder of the night, she shouted the 'N' word non-stop. Albeit, it wasn't a boring night but I was flabbergasted & completely disgusted with her presence. That was my last AW date.

For the past ten years, it's only been FWs.