Do Not Marry, Do Not Have Children
Posted: September 16th, 2011, 6:59 am
I found this article and figured I post it:
"Marriage is a foundation of civilized life. No advanced civilization has ever existed without the married, two-parent family. Those who argue that our civilization needs healthy marriages to survive are not exaggerating.
And yet I cannot, in good conscience, urge young men to marry today. For many men (and some women), marriage has become nothing less than a one-way ticket to jail. Even the New York Times has reported on how easily “the divorce court leads to a jail cell, mostly for men. In fact, if I have one urgent piece of practical advice for young men today it is this: Do not marry and do not have children.
Spreading this message may also, in the long run, be the most effective method of saving marriage as an institution. For until we understand that the principal threat to marriage today is not cultural but political, and that it comes not from homosexuals but from heterosexuals, we will never reverse the decline of marriage. The main destroyer of marriage, it should be obvious, is divorce. Michael McManus of Marriage Savers points out that divorce is a far more grievous blow to marriage than today challenge by gays. The central problem is the divorce laws.
It is well known that half of all marriages end in divorce. But widespread misconceptions lead many to believe it cannot happen to them. Many conscientious people think they will never be divorced because they do not believe in it. In fact, it is likely to happen to you whether you wish it or not.
First, you do not have to agree to the divorce or commit any legal transgression. Under no fault divorce laws, your spouse can divorce you unilaterally without giving any reasons. The judge will then grant the divorce automatically without any questions.
But further, not only does your spouse incur no penalty for breaking faith; she can actually profit enormously. Simply by filing for divorce, your spouse can take everything you have, also without giving any reasons. First, she will almost certainly get automatic and sole custody of your children and exclude you from them, without having to show that you have done anything wrong. Then any unauthorized contact with your children is a crime. Yes, for seeing your own children you will be subject to arrest.
There is no burden of proof on the court to justify why they are seizing control of your children and allowing your spouse to forcibly keep you from them. The burden of proof (and the financial burden) is on you to show why you should be allowed to see your children.
The divorce industry thus makes it very attractive for your spouse to divorce you and take your children. (All this earns money for lawyers whose bar associations control the careers of judges.) While property divisions and spousal support certainly favor women, the largest windfall comes through the children. With custody, she can then demand “child support that may amount to half, two-thirds, or more of your income. (The amount is set by committees consisting of feminists, lawyers, and enforcement agents all of whom have a vested interest in setting the payments as high as possible.) She may spend it however she wishes. You pay the taxes on it, but she gets the tax deduction.
You could easily be left with monthly income of a few hundreds dollars and be forced to move in with relatives or sleep in your car. Once you have sold everything you own, borrowed from relatives, and maximized your credit cards, they then call you a deadbeat dad and take you away in handcuffs. You are told you have abandoned your children and incarcerated without trial.
Evidence indicates that, as men discover all this, they have already begun an impromptu marriage “strike�: refusing to marry or start families, knowing they can be criminalized if their wife files for divorce. “Have anti-father family court policies led to a men’s marriage strike?� ask Glenn Sacks and Dianna Thompson in the Philadelphia Enquirer. In Britain, fathers tour university campuses warning young men not to start families. In his book, From Courtship to Courtroom, Attorney Jed Abraham concludes that the only protection for men to avoid losing their children and everything else is not to start families in the first place.
Is it wise to disseminate such advice? If people stop marrying, what will become of the family and our civilization?
Marriage is already all but dead, legally speaking, and divorce is the principal reason. The fall in the Western birth rate is directly connected with divorce law.
It is also likely that same-sex marriage is being demanded only because of how heterosexuals have already debased marriage through divorce law. "The world of no-strings heterosexual hookups and 50% divorce rates preceded gay marriage", advocate Andrew Sullivan points out. All homosexuals are saying…is that, under the current definition, there's no reason to exclude us. If you want to return straight marriage to the 1950s, go ahead. But until you do, the exclusion of gays is simply an anomaly and a denial of basic civil equality.
We will not restore marriage by burying our heads in the sand; nor simply by preaching to young people to marry, as the Bush administration government therapy programs now do. The way to restore marriage as an institution in which young people can place their trust, their children, and their lives is to make it an enforceable contract. We urgently need a national debate about divorce, child custody, and the terms under which the government can forcibly sunder the bonds between parents and their children. We owe it to future generations, if there are to be any.
Stephen Baskerville, Ph.D., is assistant professor of government at Patrick Henry College and President of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children. His book, Taken Into Custody: The War Against Fathers, Marriage, and the Family, has just been published by Cumberland House Publishing."
http://mensnewsdaily.com/2007/11/14/do- ... -children/
And as usual, the comments are just as interesting:
•
"i am 56. been married 2 times. both ex's have a great lifestyle...nice homes, lots of friends (need that network of other women don't you know), ability to travel, buy stuff and spend, spend, spend. the house on the lake is gone. well not gone, just gone from me. she has the pontoon, jet skies, neighbors who have the same stuff and all the toys to go with it. so where do you think the kids and grandkids like to hang out? who do you think they believe produced all that "stuff"?
stay single and don't reproduce! ever."
•"How about the loneliness issue as you grow old (unless man gets killed in war). Is the nursing home the only hope we have?"
This issue comes up often among men when they first consider that there's no good reason to marry in America these days, after one does a truthful and accurate cost-benefit analysis.
First of all, even marrying does not protect men from loneliness. It's quite possible to be married and lonely, particularly those men held in marriage through threats and weakness, where the man has become little more than an economic slave to his wife.
Just as importantly one must remember that around 50% of marriages end in divorce, including two-thirds of all new marriages.
So, by marrying in America (or other Western nations), a man STILL stands a significant chance of being divorced and faced with the threat of loneliness.... yet be forced to pay, pay, pay to an ex-wife who no longer provides sex, companionship, or any other comfort to her ex-husband.
The key to avoiding loneliness in old age is no longer "marriage". For modern men, other social structures must be created to replace the companionship and social needs. Friendships with other men are key examples of such social structures.
And believe it or not, since women tend to outlive men anyway, there's never any shortage of older women to provide companionship for surviving older men.
Of course a man can still turn his back on the country that turned ITS back on him - move overseas to a nation where men are treated well, and with the care and caution that Dave emphasizes, choose a wife..... and remain married in that country with her.
•"You don’t have to get married to be destroyed by the courts. They can do everything to a single man, and then some, that they do to a victim of divorce.
The only surefire way to avoid becoming a slave to the state is to stay away from women altogether.
Just try explaining that to a young man in his late teens or twenties.
Every generation wants to pass on their knowledge about how to avoid the pitfalls of life, but few children learn from our experiences, they learn from their own."
•"There is another thing I wanted to mention. To say that modern women are self-destructive would be an epic understatement. WOMEN have completely embraced hedonism in all its forms. WOMEN destroy their own children when they take away their father; I will never believe they don't know this is so. If women can do this to their own children, was it the "patriarchy" all along forcing women to give a damn about children? If that is the case, women are worthless wastes of space. WOMEN debase themselves by pursuing complete sexual freedom. WOMEN carve up their bodies to pursue some ideal self-image.
Women treat men like they hate us, but I believe that really they hate themselves. Such self-destructive behavior indicates only that one possibility. And that is something that men can't fix. Men are prudent to withdraw from such a situation. It is women that need to get their shit together, not men. It is not for men to help women find the truth of this or that. They are on their own, that is what they wanted, and that is as it should be."
•
Folks (med students etc) who act a sperm donors are out of their minds. States are moving in on fertility clinics to force them to divulge donor names so states can collect child support from the donors. Artificial insemination does not in any way breach the long-held tenet ensuring the "right of the child to be supported by both parents".
•
..:Jeff ..The main problem is 40-50 years ago the feminist broke up mens social networks such as the Elks clubs, bowling leagues, ect. ect. with the chant "breaking the patriarchy".
men are now divided and conquered, and are indoctrinated by constant exposure to agit-prop; to keep us seperated and suspicious of each other!!"
•
"Without legal rights within the family there is no authority, without authority within the family there is no manhood. I don’t understand why people seem to miss this very important point. If subjugation is your desire, then by all means get married. You will however be at the mercy of an ill-logical, overly emotional, socially programmed female that most likely hates men."
•"From my experience, It seems it's mostly the poor and uneducated that are marrying, and the middle class are having kids at 40 that are coming out with special needs because they waited so long!!
..Can such a society exist very long???"
•
"Men are workaholic? Yes, Jeff..... who do you believe must PAY for those luxuries that the family consumes?
Who pays the lion's share of the bills, who pays for the second SUV, who pays for the children's orthodontics, who pays for the vacations, and who do you believe gets the ax if he actually insists on fiscal responsibility and moderation of spending in the family?
Hate to be the first to break the news to you, Jeff..... but American women are often quite self-obsessed princesses with unshakable belief in their own entitlements and privileges."
•"Do not get married, but if you do BE sure you do not have kids...men, get a vasectomy, do not leave it up to the woman for b/c. When a woman has a baby and if at the time she is working?? First thing she will want to do is quit work.....then she will get pregnant again to LOCK you in. But then again, you need to take care of the b/c thing yourself. You are happy together, sooooon as you add a kid, the marriage is a downhill slide from there on out, your freedom, your money, days off....is gone. That fishing boat you bought, that hunting trip you wanted to take....guess what YOU won't be taking them. You think "Gee how much work can a baby be?" A lot! You work 40 hours a week, the baby gets sick, screams all night....guess what you will be doing the next day....going to g to work dead tired. You have a nice house? Nice car...not for long.....and don't forget you have been warned. Usually the guys do not want to have a vasectomy, so if you don't and she gets pregnant, have fun with that one....signed a female."
Ahh! There was another comment that talked about how America is finished and how South American culture will be a welcome change as they still have a good idea of of how real families are suppose to operate; but I can't find it. It was basically what ladislav and myself were taking about in another post.
"Marriage is a foundation of civilized life. No advanced civilization has ever existed without the married, two-parent family. Those who argue that our civilization needs healthy marriages to survive are not exaggerating.
And yet I cannot, in good conscience, urge young men to marry today. For many men (and some women), marriage has become nothing less than a one-way ticket to jail. Even the New York Times has reported on how easily “the divorce court leads to a jail cell, mostly for men. In fact, if I have one urgent piece of practical advice for young men today it is this: Do not marry and do not have children.
Spreading this message may also, in the long run, be the most effective method of saving marriage as an institution. For until we understand that the principal threat to marriage today is not cultural but political, and that it comes not from homosexuals but from heterosexuals, we will never reverse the decline of marriage. The main destroyer of marriage, it should be obvious, is divorce. Michael McManus of Marriage Savers points out that divorce is a far more grievous blow to marriage than today challenge by gays. The central problem is the divorce laws.
It is well known that half of all marriages end in divorce. But widespread misconceptions lead many to believe it cannot happen to them. Many conscientious people think they will never be divorced because they do not believe in it. In fact, it is likely to happen to you whether you wish it or not.
First, you do not have to agree to the divorce or commit any legal transgression. Under no fault divorce laws, your spouse can divorce you unilaterally without giving any reasons. The judge will then grant the divorce automatically without any questions.
But further, not only does your spouse incur no penalty for breaking faith; she can actually profit enormously. Simply by filing for divorce, your spouse can take everything you have, also without giving any reasons. First, she will almost certainly get automatic and sole custody of your children and exclude you from them, without having to show that you have done anything wrong. Then any unauthorized contact with your children is a crime. Yes, for seeing your own children you will be subject to arrest.
There is no burden of proof on the court to justify why they are seizing control of your children and allowing your spouse to forcibly keep you from them. The burden of proof (and the financial burden) is on you to show why you should be allowed to see your children.
The divorce industry thus makes it very attractive for your spouse to divorce you and take your children. (All this earns money for lawyers whose bar associations control the careers of judges.) While property divisions and spousal support certainly favor women, the largest windfall comes through the children. With custody, she can then demand “child support that may amount to half, two-thirds, or more of your income. (The amount is set by committees consisting of feminists, lawyers, and enforcement agents all of whom have a vested interest in setting the payments as high as possible.) She may spend it however she wishes. You pay the taxes on it, but she gets the tax deduction.
You could easily be left with monthly income of a few hundreds dollars and be forced to move in with relatives or sleep in your car. Once you have sold everything you own, borrowed from relatives, and maximized your credit cards, they then call you a deadbeat dad and take you away in handcuffs. You are told you have abandoned your children and incarcerated without trial.
Evidence indicates that, as men discover all this, they have already begun an impromptu marriage “strike�: refusing to marry or start families, knowing they can be criminalized if their wife files for divorce. “Have anti-father family court policies led to a men’s marriage strike?� ask Glenn Sacks and Dianna Thompson in the Philadelphia Enquirer. In Britain, fathers tour university campuses warning young men not to start families. In his book, From Courtship to Courtroom, Attorney Jed Abraham concludes that the only protection for men to avoid losing their children and everything else is not to start families in the first place.
Is it wise to disseminate such advice? If people stop marrying, what will become of the family and our civilization?
Marriage is already all but dead, legally speaking, and divorce is the principal reason. The fall in the Western birth rate is directly connected with divorce law.
It is also likely that same-sex marriage is being demanded only because of how heterosexuals have already debased marriage through divorce law. "The world of no-strings heterosexual hookups and 50% divorce rates preceded gay marriage", advocate Andrew Sullivan points out. All homosexuals are saying…is that, under the current definition, there's no reason to exclude us. If you want to return straight marriage to the 1950s, go ahead. But until you do, the exclusion of gays is simply an anomaly and a denial of basic civil equality.
We will not restore marriage by burying our heads in the sand; nor simply by preaching to young people to marry, as the Bush administration government therapy programs now do. The way to restore marriage as an institution in which young people can place their trust, their children, and their lives is to make it an enforceable contract. We urgently need a national debate about divorce, child custody, and the terms under which the government can forcibly sunder the bonds between parents and their children. We owe it to future generations, if there are to be any.
Stephen Baskerville, Ph.D., is assistant professor of government at Patrick Henry College and President of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children. His book, Taken Into Custody: The War Against Fathers, Marriage, and the Family, has just been published by Cumberland House Publishing."
http://mensnewsdaily.com/2007/11/14/do- ... -children/
And as usual, the comments are just as interesting:
•
"i am 56. been married 2 times. both ex's have a great lifestyle...nice homes, lots of friends (need that network of other women don't you know), ability to travel, buy stuff and spend, spend, spend. the house on the lake is gone. well not gone, just gone from me. she has the pontoon, jet skies, neighbors who have the same stuff and all the toys to go with it. so where do you think the kids and grandkids like to hang out? who do you think they believe produced all that "stuff"?
stay single and don't reproduce! ever."
•"How about the loneliness issue as you grow old (unless man gets killed in war). Is the nursing home the only hope we have?"
This issue comes up often among men when they first consider that there's no good reason to marry in America these days, after one does a truthful and accurate cost-benefit analysis.
First of all, even marrying does not protect men from loneliness. It's quite possible to be married and lonely, particularly those men held in marriage through threats and weakness, where the man has become little more than an economic slave to his wife.
Just as importantly one must remember that around 50% of marriages end in divorce, including two-thirds of all new marriages.
So, by marrying in America (or other Western nations), a man STILL stands a significant chance of being divorced and faced with the threat of loneliness.... yet be forced to pay, pay, pay to an ex-wife who no longer provides sex, companionship, or any other comfort to her ex-husband.
The key to avoiding loneliness in old age is no longer "marriage". For modern men, other social structures must be created to replace the companionship and social needs. Friendships with other men are key examples of such social structures.
And believe it or not, since women tend to outlive men anyway, there's never any shortage of older women to provide companionship for surviving older men.
Of course a man can still turn his back on the country that turned ITS back on him - move overseas to a nation where men are treated well, and with the care and caution that Dave emphasizes, choose a wife..... and remain married in that country with her.
•"You don’t have to get married to be destroyed by the courts. They can do everything to a single man, and then some, that they do to a victim of divorce.
The only surefire way to avoid becoming a slave to the state is to stay away from women altogether.
Just try explaining that to a young man in his late teens or twenties.
Every generation wants to pass on their knowledge about how to avoid the pitfalls of life, but few children learn from our experiences, they learn from their own."
•"There is another thing I wanted to mention. To say that modern women are self-destructive would be an epic understatement. WOMEN have completely embraced hedonism in all its forms. WOMEN destroy their own children when they take away their father; I will never believe they don't know this is so. If women can do this to their own children, was it the "patriarchy" all along forcing women to give a damn about children? If that is the case, women are worthless wastes of space. WOMEN debase themselves by pursuing complete sexual freedom. WOMEN carve up their bodies to pursue some ideal self-image.
Women treat men like they hate us, but I believe that really they hate themselves. Such self-destructive behavior indicates only that one possibility. And that is something that men can't fix. Men are prudent to withdraw from such a situation. It is women that need to get their shit together, not men. It is not for men to help women find the truth of this or that. They are on their own, that is what they wanted, and that is as it should be."
•
Folks (med students etc) who act a sperm donors are out of their minds. States are moving in on fertility clinics to force them to divulge donor names so states can collect child support from the donors. Artificial insemination does not in any way breach the long-held tenet ensuring the "right of the child to be supported by both parents".
•
..:Jeff ..The main problem is 40-50 years ago the feminist broke up mens social networks such as the Elks clubs, bowling leagues, ect. ect. with the chant "breaking the patriarchy".
men are now divided and conquered, and are indoctrinated by constant exposure to agit-prop; to keep us seperated and suspicious of each other!!"
•
"Without legal rights within the family there is no authority, without authority within the family there is no manhood. I don’t understand why people seem to miss this very important point. If subjugation is your desire, then by all means get married. You will however be at the mercy of an ill-logical, overly emotional, socially programmed female that most likely hates men."
•"From my experience, It seems it's mostly the poor and uneducated that are marrying, and the middle class are having kids at 40 that are coming out with special needs because they waited so long!!
..Can such a society exist very long???"
•
"Men are workaholic? Yes, Jeff..... who do you believe must PAY for those luxuries that the family consumes?
Who pays the lion's share of the bills, who pays for the second SUV, who pays for the children's orthodontics, who pays for the vacations, and who do you believe gets the ax if he actually insists on fiscal responsibility and moderation of spending in the family?
Hate to be the first to break the news to you, Jeff..... but American women are often quite self-obsessed princesses with unshakable belief in their own entitlements and privileges."
•"Do not get married, but if you do BE sure you do not have kids...men, get a vasectomy, do not leave it up to the woman for b/c. When a woman has a baby and if at the time she is working?? First thing she will want to do is quit work.....then she will get pregnant again to LOCK you in. But then again, you need to take care of the b/c thing yourself. You are happy together, sooooon as you add a kid, the marriage is a downhill slide from there on out, your freedom, your money, days off....is gone. That fishing boat you bought, that hunting trip you wanted to take....guess what YOU won't be taking them. You think "Gee how much work can a baby be?" A lot! You work 40 hours a week, the baby gets sick, screams all night....guess what you will be doing the next day....going to g to work dead tired. You have a nice house? Nice car...not for long.....and don't forget you have been warned. Usually the guys do not want to have a vasectomy, so if you don't and she gets pregnant, have fun with that one....signed a female."
Ahh! There was another comment that talked about how America is finished and how South American culture will be a welcome change as they still have a good idea of of how real families are suppose to operate; but I can't find it. It was basically what ladislav and myself were taking about in another post.
It's a good thing 2020 is still a long way away. I wonder what