The pressure to perform: American women vs Foreign women

OTB · Post by **OTB** » February 26th, 2012, 5:04 am

Yes I know. Something else about AW vs FW. But it's been floating around my mind so I need to vent this. Beside the fact that a lot of AW put up shields when it comes to being approached by a man, it also irritates me how in order to approach a girl in this country you're expected to perform and show how confident and how much "game" you have.

This is what makes dating and meeting women in this country so difficult. The feeling that you have to perform, make them laugh incessantly, or SHOW how confident you are just creates unnecessary pressure on us men. To me this is the mentality of a lot of AW. If you're going to have the balls to approach me then you BETTER show me what you're made of. Look, I'm a very confident guy. I know who I am and what I'm capable of doing. That's why I'm so reserved because I know I have nothing to prove. I'm sure a lot of you guys feel the same way. But it seems if you do decide to approach something that has caught your eye then the anxiety starts to build up. I don't think it's about being rejected, with some men, but I think it's more about the pressure to say the right thing, make her laugh, and show how confident you are. Talking in a relaxed manner and just interacting with her on a normal, friendly level is not enough. You're being monitored to see if you can make her laugh and all the other nonsense their brains are looking for.

It's even like this with online dating. I've read this countless times in online dating profiles. Especially on OKCupid. You have to be their personal comedian and make them laugh. So if you're in public or looking for someone online you're expected to be and do all these things just to get the ball rolling into a potential relationship. Meeting women and forming a relationship shouldn't be this difficult. Foreign women don't have these immature expectations of men. But hey, this is why I'm looking abroad.

Just curious to get your perspective on this. I'm sure you all agree.

Billy · Post by **Billy** » February 26th, 2012, 5:35 am

So, try to get a girl in Turkey

. First you will not be accepted second when you get the chance you pay a lot of money and take responsibility.

4th world countries iitÂ´s easier because you already did the qualifying as you invest thousands of dollars for your ticket and make the risky move in a foreign undeveloped environment.

p***y was never really cheap nowhere.

OTB · Post by **OTB** » February 26th, 2012, 5:52 am

It's funny you say Turkey. I was talking to a Turkish girl for almost four years. We wanted to be together but Islam and her family were the barriers. That ended officially this past January. It's a long story but she was definitely wife material.

Now, I'm not looking for p***y. That's not why I wrote this post. I'm not talking about pressure to perform to get sex. I'm just referring to having a normal interaction with a girl without all the immature expectations.

flyingmonkey9 · Post by **flyingmonkey9** » February 26th, 2012, 8:07 am

It's amazing how most barriers are self-inflicted, especially in regards to american women...

onezero4u · Post by **onezero4u** » February 26th, 2012, 8:29 am

billy not sure i follow your input....i lived in turkey for over a year & NEVER had a shortage of available cute Turkish girls...i found them quite friendly for the most part

Billy · Post by **Billy** » February 26th, 2012, 8:30 am

OTB, yeah you see islam was your cockblock. But when you would have taken the hurdle things would still be not easy. Turkish girls know how to grab your money

Yeah ok I exaggerat it, but truth is that things were never really easy. "Normal" is a matter of definition. I donÂ´t think that in the past things were really easier. Maybe different.

Maybe I donÂ´t know anything about AW but I donÂ´t think foreign women are so easy. Sometimes one only wants to see the positives.

Though you can make a good deal for real

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » February 26th, 2012, 11:21 am

Ugh. This conversation I had with a Korean-American girl on campus.

Girl: I want to get married before I turn 25, but I still can't find anyone.
Other girl: Then why don't you talk to the guys around you more?
Girl: But they won't ask me out!
Me: Well, guys really appreciate it too when girls ask them out!
Girl: I'm not going to like him if he doesn't have the guts to ask me out!
Me: Why not?
Girl: I don't like guys who are scaredy-cats afraid to approach me!

*facepalm*

Talk about high expectations. She wants to get married early and yet refuses to make a single move. Instead, she expects men to ask her out and exude that "confidence" that American women want. From the way she's been talking, she will probably demand much more than a simple approach - just like what OTB said.

OTB · Post by **OTB** » February 26th, 2012, 12:11 pm

Falcon. Thanks for the input. YOU understand what I'm saying.

Billy · Post by **Billy** » February 26th, 2012, 1:17 pm

Matter of fact ist, when I would be a chick, I would not do it, either. That is quite normal in mother nature that the weaker and hungry part has to approach. Life is not a picnic, sorry

I would sell my p***y to the highest price

. DonÂ´t forget I would want to be shure that he will be loyal. So best thing is he invests a lot so his loss would be too much when breaking up.

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » February 26th, 2012, 1:27 pm

Billy wrote:Matter of fact ist, when I would be a chick, I would not do it, either. That is quite normal in mother nature that the weaker and hungry part has to approach. Life is not a picnic, sorry
I would sell my p***y to the highest price . DonÂ´t forget I would want to be shure that he will be loyal. So best thing is he invests a lot so his loss would be too much when breaking up.

Billy, you evil little schemer.

Bijou · Post by **Bijou** » February 26th, 2012, 5:24 pm

Falcon wrote:Ugh. This conversation I had with a Korean-American girl on campus.

Girl: I want to get married before I turn 25, but I still can't find anyone.
Other girl: Then why don't you talk to the guys around you more?
Girl: But they won't ask me out!
Me: Well, guys really appreciate it too when girls ask them out!
Girl: I'm not going to like him if he doesn't have the guts to ask me out!
Me: Why not?
Girl: I don't like guys who are scaredy-cats afraid to approach me!

*facepalm*

Talk about high expectations. She wants to get married early and yet refuses to make a single move. Instead, she expects men to ask her out and exude that "confidence" that American women want. From the way she's been talking, she will probably demand much more than a simple approach - just like what OTB said.

I don't understand something. What is that " "confidence" that American women want"?
Doesn't the AW want to be asked out?

NorthAmericanguy · February 26th, 2012, 6:54 pm

OTB wrote:Yes I know. Something else about AW vs FW. But it's been floating around my mind so I need to vent this. Beside the fact that a lot of AW put up shields when it comes to being approached by a man, it also irritates me how in order to approach a girl in this country you're expected to perform and show how confident and how much "game" you have.

This is what makes dating and meeting women in this country so difficult. The feeling that you have to perform, make them laugh incessantly, or SHOW how confident you are just creates unnecessary pressure on us men. To me this is the mentality of a lot of AW. If you're going to have the balls to approach me then you BETTER show me what you're made of. Look, I'm a very confident guy. I know who I am and what I'm capable of doing. That's why I'm so reserved because I know I have nothing to prove.

Merhaba OTB!

Your post is one of the major reasons why I no longer court American women.

Relationships with American girls feels like a job (or a second one if you're already employed!) because the first 2-3 months is like a trial period where you have to be on your best behavior, impress all her friends, and show her a good time in a environment that is already highly competitive and unfairly rigged against the poor/average man so it's really a loose loose situation from the beginning.

Also, each year American women expect you to go bigger and better (i.e, trips, expensive gifts, move into bigger house) because the longer you're with Amercian girls, the more they pressure you to become more serious.

OTB wrote:I'm sure a lot of you guys feel the same way. But it seems if you do decide to approach something that has caught your eye then the anxiety starts to build up. I don't think it's about being rejected, with some men, but I think it's more about the pressure to say the right thing, make her laugh, and show how confident you are. Talking in a relaxed manner and just interacting with her on a normal, friendly level is not enough. You're being monitored to see if you can make her laugh and all the other nonsense their brains are looking for.

It's even like this with online dating. I've read this countless times in online dating profiles. Especially on OKCupid. You have to be their personal comedian and make them laugh. So if you're in public or looking for someone online you're expected to be and do all these things just to get the ball rolling into a potential relationship. Meeting women and forming a relationship shouldn't be this difficult. Foreign women don't have these immature expectations of men. But hey, this is why I'm looking abroad.

Just curious to get your perspective on this. I'm sure you all agree.

And in contrast, foreign women approach me at least a little less then half the time (at least for me), so at times I don't even have to come up with a line, or work myself up to say anything.

For example, I just recently met a YOUNG Turkish woman (she came up to me!) and my interactions with her are completely natural and free of any stress to say things right or entertain her.

It's unbelievable how ignorant and snobbish Amercian girls can be once you take the red pill. Young American women generally ignore most men, and your only hope of ever interacting with them outside of something work related is if you FORCE and CONVINCE them to open up to you, and even then, even if they want to open up to you from day one, they play games and pretend that they don't like you just to see how willing you are to keep trying to get them out of their own sick pleasure (i.e., "OMG! Look Kim, he calls me 2 times a day and emails me but I don't reply because it feels so good to have all these men trying to get at me!").

Dumb Americunts. I have heard women talk about how the man that tries the most, and does not give up in chasing them is the "real man."

But what these Americunts don't realize is that these guys are only persistent in getting sex, and they have fun solely out of the sexual conquest itself. This is why these guys are prone to skip town as soon as a baby is on the way.

FREEDOM1 · Post by **FREEDOM1** » February 26th, 2012, 7:14 pm

hi fellas

yes australian women are the same with their stupid games
it is all about power and control
POWER AND CONTROL
they think if u approach that they have the upper hand and that u have to
prove yourself to them
i can approach these women - no problem
but i wont - as i can detect their feminist bullshit from a mile away
im done with these bitches - give them the husband they deserve - none
i hope thay all become bitter old spinsters
while iam having fun with 20 year old filipina, thais & asian girls
and laughing all the way to the bank having not married one
of these sub human pieces of filth and been raped in a divorce court
ignore em and do your own thing fellas - and go overseas
a life well lived is the best revenge

NorthAmericanguy · February 26th, 2012, 7:34 pm

Falcon wrote:Ugh. This conversation I had with a Korean-American girl on campus.

Girl: I want to get married before I turn 25, but I still can't find anyone.
Other girl: Then why don't you talk to the guys around you more?
Girl: But they won't ask me out!
Me: Well, guys really appreciate it too when girls ask them out!
Girl: I'm not going to like him if he doesn't have the guts to ask me out!
Me: Why not?
Girl: I don't like guys who are scaredy-cats afraid to approach me!

*facepalm*

Talk about high expectations. She wants to get married early and yet refuses to make a single move. Instead, she expects men to ask her out and exude that "confidence" that American women want. From the way she's been talking, she will probably demand much more than a simple approach - just like what OTB said.

Good post.^

And let's say I do ask out all the girls I see, the REALITY is that I'm going to miss hundreds of girls along the way because I'm only human, and I can't take the time to ask out EVERY SINGLE GIRL I SEE, in fact, I'm going to miss the majority of women because I'm not even aware of them, and so, I believe it would help if both genders approached each other instead of leaving the responsibility completely on men.

But anyway, this goes back to why there is such gender wars in this country. You figure, American girls are so arrogant and egotistical that they are incapable of asking a man out (even though these women took jobs from men and in some cases make just as much money as men) unless they are old, fat, or down in the dumps.

NorthAmericanguy · February 26th, 2012, 8:06 pm

FREEDOM1 wrote:hi fellas

it is all about power and control POWER AND CONTROL
they think if u approach that they have the upper hand and that u have to
prove yourself to them

EXACTLY! And I must say that a woman has the upper hand if she is approached because she has the power to "hold out" and not give into the desires of whatever man is trying to court her.

The problem is that Western women have lost all sense of civility, and common courtesy, when they chose to decline the offers of a man who would like to get to know her. I mean really, I'm NOT going to get hurt if a woman does not want to go out with me, but I WILL take offense by the way a woman declines my offer so as long as I was being a gentleman.

It depends on social class, but in general, I find that most American girls either ignore you completely and start walking away as soon as you start taking to them, while other more aggressive girls will verbally attack you by making fun of your car, clothes, job, where you live, or whatever it is that they feel about you is not up to par.

This is what gave birth to PUA. You have to be witty, cocky or funny to be able to capture a girls attention in a way that makes it hard for her to walk away or verbally attack her first which lowers her defense and prevents her from attacking you. (i.e., Is that hair real?) It's nothing more then close combat gender warfare.

FREEDOM1 wrote: im done with these bitches - give them the husband they deserve - none
i

I owe you a drink!! That was so funny to read.^^