Psychological and emotional effects on American men

[OTB]

What's happening guys? Another topic for you. This is something that I've been analyzing about myself and have been thinking about for some time now. To get right to it, this so called culture we live in has taught us to suppress our instinctual desires when it comes to meeting women. It has taught us to act emotionless and rigid when we see a woman that we would like to approach or get to know. How did we learn to behave in such a way? We learned it from how women behave towards men that show interest or would like to show interest in them.

The no signs of interest, the cold, emotionless look on their face that makes you feel like you don't exist, the "don't invade my space" vibe unless I know you me, and the avoidance of eye contact when they clearly see you trying to flirt has had a major impact on our subconscious mind. As a result of this it has become a habit or an automatic response. We see women we find attractive in various places and deep down inside we want to flirt, send signs of interest, and just spark up a friendly conversation with her. WE ALL WANT THAT!

But! We have learned that we shouldn't do that. Our desire to want to show interest has now been subconsciously suppressed and made to stay tucked away instead of being allowed to just come out and be seen. This is what causes so much frustration. We've learned to constantly avoid women that we would like to get closer to and establish a connection with. And this tells our subconscious mind that this is normal. This is not our true behavior. It has become normal behavior because we repeatedly do it. Anything that is done repeatedly becomes a habit. Our minds have learned this pattern. If we see multiple girls and express attraction by eye flirting or smiling we feel like a pervert if they catch you looking. In addition, when they act emotionless and don't reciprocate any interest it makes you feel like why bother even showing any interest. You lose enthusiasm and now you don't approach, smile, or flirt at all. This reaction is repeated whenever you see a girl that catches your eye, in the US, because you've sent the message to your subconscious mind to not approach, flirt, or show any signs of interest. It's really just mirroring their behavior.

So did I say all that to come off like a psychologist? NO! The point I'm trying to make is that the dating scene and trying to establish a connection with girl in this country has psychologically affected a lot of American men . We've learned to be emotionless, rigid, and cold when it comes to showing attraction for a woman which should be the complete opposite. This is a truly sad place to find a woman to love. A place where women act afraid of men and act like they don't exist. And people try to tell you to be optimistic. I hate that. Basting in sexual frustration and constantly suppressing your desire for a woman makes you feel shut down. It's a "whatever" attitude. No emotion. Just whatever. It's no big deal anyway because the pick of woman as we all know is not great at all in this country. That's why we're looking abroad.

[S_Parc]

So did I say all that to come off like a psychologist? NO! The point I'm trying to make is that the dating scene and trying to establish a connection with girl in this countryhas psychologically affected a lot of American men . We've learned to be emotionless, rigid, and cold when it comes to showing attraction for a woman which should be the complete opposite. This is a truly sad place to find a woman to love. A place where women act afraid of men and act like they don't exist. And people try to tell you to be optimistic. I hate that. Basing in sexual frustration and constantly suppressing your desire for a woman makes you feel shut down. It's a "whatever" attitude. No emotion. Just whatever. It's no big deal anyway because the pick of woman as we all know is not great at all in this country. That's why we're looking abroad.

Then I should consider myself lucky. For me, my flesh & blood sister was the 1st AW who'd caused me to lose faith in AWs, in general. My depressed mom didn't help either but at least she'd kept quiet, most of the time.

I was raised under a clap trap of non-stop Feminist, brow beating superiority attitudes of my sister, who basically did poorly in high school and did, in fact, later flunk out of college, but blamed everyone else for her shortcomings. She was under the alleged tutelage of Mary Tyler Moore, Gertrude Stein, Susan B Anthony, Marie Curie, and Deborah Harry but unlike her aforementioned idols, she did practically nothing with her life.

So what happened to me was that as soon as my home scene grew sour, I started observing similar patterns outside of the home and then, I started pulling away from AWs, instinctually, as a way of self-preservation.

So when I'd turned 24, I'd in effect, stopped dating AWs 100%. There was no turning back afterwards.

[Taco]

Any guy that's been raised around western women will not be "normal". A medical condition called bitchitis cuts western men down while there still in their prime. The usual symptoms include vomiting when Lady Gaga's songs are played, emotional castration, nervousness, loss of confidence, being too timid, loss of interest in local women, chatting with foreign women online, a desire to stay single and an intense desire to travel.

Fortunately, the cure for this medical condition is a vacation in the Philippines where women will make you the star attraction 24/7. Just sit in a public place and wait for them to pick you up, take you home and have their way with you.

The End

[jamesbond]

The no signs of interest, the cold, emotionless look on their face that makes you feel like you don't exist, the "don't invade my space" vibe unless I know you me, and the avoidance of eye contact when they clearly see you trying to flirt has had a major impact on our subconscious mind. As a result of this it has become a habit or an automatic response. We see women we find attractive in various places and deep down inside we want to flirt, send signs of interest, and just spark up a friendly conversation with her. WE ALL WANT THAT!

But! We have learned that we shouldn't do that. Our desire to want to show interest has now been subconsciously suppressed and made to stay tucked away instead of being allowed to just come out and be seen. This is what causes so much frustration. We've learned to constantly avoid women that we would like to get closer to and establish a connection with. And this tells our subconscious mind that this is normal. This is not our true behavior. It has become normal behavior because we repeatedly do it. Anything that is done repeatedly becomes a habit. Our minds have learned this pattern. If we see multiple girls and express attraction by eye flirting or smiling we feel like a pervert if they catch you looking. In addition, when they act emotionless and don't reciprocate any interest it makes you feel like why bother even showing any interest. You lose enthusiasm and now you don't approach, smile, or flirt at all. This reaction is repeated whenever you see a girl that catches your eye, in the US, because you've sent the message to your subconscious mind to not approach, flirt, or show any signs of interest. It's really just mirroring their behavior.

We've learned to be emotionless, rigid, and cold when it comes to showing attraction for a woman which should be the complete opposite. This is a truly sad place to find a woman to love. A place where women act afraid of men and act like they don't exist. And people try to tell you to be optimistic. I hate that. Basing in sexual frustration and constantly suppressing your desire for a woman makes you feel shut down. It's a "whatever" attitude. No emotion. Just whatever. It's no big deal anyway because the pick of woman as we all know is not great at all in this country. That's why we're looking abroad.

Very well put OTB. Like Winston has said, after years of getting rejected by women, you eventually don't even bother to try and meet them anymore.

When you smile at them and they don't smile back, when you start a conversation with them and they act like they don't want anything to do with you, when you ask them for their phone number and they turn you down, all this does is make it so you never want to approach another woman in america ever again.

Your right, that is why we are looking abroad to meet women. With foreign women, instead of frowns, you get smiles. Instead of no eye contact, you get eye contact. Instead of no flirting, you get flirting. Instead of getting no phone numbers, you get phone numbers.

I am glad Winston started this discussion forum. I always thought I was the only guy in america who was having a difficult time trying to meet women in america. Now I know there are millions of guys who have felt the same way.

[Teal Lantern]

What's happening guys? Another topic for you. This is something that I've been analyzing about myself and have been thinking about for some time now. To get right to it, this so called culture we live in has taught us to suppress our instinctual desires when it comes to meeting women. It has taught us to act emotionless and rigid when we see a woman that we would like to approach or get to know. How did we learn to behave in such a way? We learned it from how women behave towards men that show interest or would like to show interest in them.

The no signs of interest, the cold, emotionless look on their face that makes you feel like you don't exist, the "don't invade my space" vibe unless I know you me, and the avoidance of eye contact when they clearly see you trying to flirt has had a major impact on our subconscious mind. As a result of this it has become a habit or an automatic response. We see women we find attractive in various places and deep down inside we want to flirt, send signs of interest, and just spark up a friendly conversation with her. WE ALL WANT THAT!

In America, I only want to avoid their neuroses, STDs, kids, debt, and other drama.

But! We have learned that we shouldn't do that. Our desire to want to show interest has now been subconsciously suppressed and made to stay tucked away instead of being allowed to just come out and be seen. This is what causes so much frustration. We've learned to constantly avoid women that we would like to get closer to and establish a connection with. And this tells our subconscious mind that this is normal. This is not our true behavior. It has become normal behavior because we repeatedly do it. Anything that is done repeatedly becomes a habit. Our minds have learned this pattern. If we see multiple girls and express attraction by eye flirting or smiling we feel like a pervert if they catch you looking. In addition, when they act emotionless and don't reciprocate any interest it makes you feel like why bother even showing any interest. You lose enthusiasm and now you don't approach, smile, or flirt at all. This reaction is repeated whenever you see a girl that catches your eye, in the US, because you've sent the message to your subconscious mind to not approach, flirt, or show any signs of interest. It's really just mirroring their behavior.

Knowing what's out there, I'm happier if they don't show interest. Every day, in "family" courts around the country, there are men wishing they could trade places with the guy she wasn't interested in.

So did I say all that to come off like a psychologist? NO! The point I'm trying to make is that the dating scene and trying to establish a connection with girl in this country has psychologically affected a lot of American men . We've learned to be emotionless, rigid, and cold when it comes to showing attraction for a woman which should be the complete opposite. This is a truly sad place to find a woman to love. A place where women act afraid of men and act like they don't exist. And people try to tell you to be optimistic. I hate that. Basing in sexual frustration and constantly suppressing your desire for a woman makes you feel shut down. It's a "whatever" attitude. No emotion. Just whatever. It's no big deal anyway because the pick of woman as we all know is not great at all in this country. That's why we're looking abroad.

This last part, I agree with. "Winning" in the American dating scene looks like this ...

Abby: Man hopes wife outgrows drunken girls' nights out
http://www.chron.com/life/article/Abby- ... 950629.php
http://news.yahoo.com/man-hopes-wife-ou ... 06515.html

[djfourmoney]

I am still trying to figure out why things like this are still debatable issues...

Men have the option of looking for non-American Woman outside of Anglosphere of direct influence. Then I see fear mongering from don't pick a woman that speaks English fluently to not bring her back to America like she'd be a victim of bodysnatchers or something.

If you're in school you should really question what "education" is really bringing "value" to your life.

I think its an excuse anyway because you can always transfer to a country and continue your education there.

As I keep saying this is paralysis by analysis. Stop thinking about it, DO IT.

[The_Hero_of_Men]

I am still trying to figure out why things like this are still debatable issues...

Men have the option of looking for non-American Woman outside of Anglosphere of direct influence. Then I see fear mongering from don't pick a woman that speaks English fluently to not bring her back to America like she'd be a victim of bodysnatchers or something.

If you're in school you should really question what "education" is really bringing "value" to your life.

I think its an excuse anyway because you can always transfer to a country and continue your education there.

As I keep saying this is paralysis by analysis. Stop thinking about it, DO IT.

You know, this "fear-mongering" you keep referring to is rooted in fact. It may not happen all of the time, but it happens enough for it to be a major problem. Otherwise, I agree with you 200%.

it's like they say: "All fiction is based on SOME fact."

[steve55]

What's happening guys? Another topic for you. This is something that I've been analyzing about myself and have been thinking about for some time now. To get right to it, this so called culture we live in has taught us to suppress our instinctual desires when it comes to meeting women. It has taught us to act emotionless and rigid when we see a woman that we would like to approach or get to know. How did we learn to behave in such a way? We learned it from how women behave towards men that show interest or would like to show interest in them.

The no signs of interest, the cold, emotionless look on their face that makes you feel like you don't exist, the "don't invade my space" vibe unless I know you me, and the avoidance of eye contact when they clearly see you trying to flirt has had a major impact on our subconscious mind. As a result of this it has become a habit or an automatic response. We see women we find attractive in various places and deep down inside we want to flirt, send signs of interest, and just spark up a friendly conversation with her. WE ALL WANT THAT!

But! We have learned that we shouldn't do that. Our desire to want to show interest has now been subconsciously suppressed and made to stay tucked away instead of being allowed to just come out and be seen. This is what causes so much frustration. We've learned to constantly avoid women that we would like to get closer to and establish a connection with. And this tells our subconscious mind that this is normal. This is not our true behavior. It has become normal behavior because we repeatedly do it. Anything that is done repeatedly becomes a habit. Our minds have learned this pattern. If we see multiple girls and express attraction by eye flirting or smiling we feel like a pervert if they catch you looking. In addition, when they act emotionless and don't reciprocate any interest it makes you feel like why bother even showing any interest. You lose enthusiasm and now you don't approach, smile, or flirt at all. This reaction is repeated whenever you see a girl that catches your eye, in the US, because you've sent the message to your subconscious mind to not approach, flirt, or show any signs of interest. It's really just mirroring their behavior.

So did I say all that to come off like a psychologist? NO! The point I'm trying to make is that the dating scene and trying to establish a connection with girl in this countryhas psychologically affected a lot of American men . We've learned to be emotionless, rigid, and cold when it comes to showing attraction for a woman which should be the complete opposite. This is a truly sad place to find a woman to love. A place where women act afraid of men and act like they don't exist. And people try to tell you to be optimistic. I hate that. Basing in sexual frustration and constantly suppressing your desire for a woman makes you feel shut down. It's a "whatever" attitude. No emotion. Just whatever. It's no big deal anyway because the pick of woman as we all know is not great at all in this country. That's why we're looking abroad.

WOW! Dam OTB, so very well put! We all know this and Winston and I cover this in our writings, but I like the way you have so eloquently put it. Nice!

[terminator]

There's big impact on guys - they turn into selfish b!tches themselves and it's a waste of time even talking to them.

[djfourmoney]

I am still trying to figure out why things like this are still debatable issues...

Men have the option of looking for non-American Woman outside of Anglosphere of direct influence. Then I see fear mongering from don't pick a woman that speaks English fluently to not bring her back to America like she'd be a victim of bodysnatchers or something.

If you're in school you should really question what "education" is really bringing "value" to your life.

I think its an excuse anyway because you can always transfer to a country and continue your education there.

As I keep saying this is paralysis by analysis. Stop thinking about it, DO IT.

You know, this "fear-mongering" you keep referring to is rooted in fact. It may not happen all of the time, but it happens enough for it to be a major problem. Otherwise, I agree with you 200%.

it's like they say: "All fiction is based on SOME fact."

Did I say this is not rooted in fact? Its fear of the unknown, something has been dogging humanity for centuries. Looking for a woman abroad will not break you mentally if it could, then I suggest you use more aggressive tactics to find a woman here, not impossible but on average will take at least a year.

The truth is I don't understand how it feels better to spend thousands on dating local women who then as you say "changes up" so you divorce her after a few years at the cost of a few dollars if you can afford to get a divorce to start with. How does that make any more sense than going overseas?

This is why I don't like the idea of saying overseas is good for most men because to many it presents the last hope, especially those over 45 years of age.

Statistics say that the chances of a man getting married in America after age 45 is very slim. So they panic, ignore behavior and pick the wrong woman.

I focus on happy endings because the truth is negativity and train wrecks are easily found.

Spending time wondering how things are and how they should be when there is nothing forcing a change in the near future is unproductive. Happier Abroad gives men like you a platform to scream and complain. Great, but Winston also provides you with tools to solve your issue of being alone in the world.

As I have said before, Americans lock themselves in. They are rooted deeply with career decisions, education decisions, etc, etc, etc.

There are Americans getting 2nd degrees for CS! So you have to be overqualified for position??? Does that mean African-American men have to start getting Master's and PhD's???

Stop spending money on local women, local web sites, local anything related to your social life. You may have the extra money it takes to travel and one of the focus of my upcoming podcast is you don't need to spend $3-4K on services from the various people that run tours. You can do it for much less and I'll show you how.

Sharing info here never gets very far beyond this forum, waste of my time.

[NorthAmericanguy]

What's happening guys? Another topic for you. This is something that I've been analyzing about myself and have been thinking about for some time now. To get right to it, this so called culture we live in has taught us to suppress our instinctual desires when it comes to meeting women. It has taught us to act emotionless and rigid when we see a woman that we would like to approach or get to know. How did we learn to behave in such a way? We learned it from how women behave towards men that show interest or would like to show interest in them.

The no signs of interest, the cold, emotionless look on their face that makes you feel like you don't exist, the "don't invade my space" vibe unless I know you me, and the avoidance of eye contact when they clearly see you trying to flirt has had a major impact on our subconscious mind. As a result of this it has become a habit or an automatic response. We see women we find attractive in various places and deep down inside we want to flirt, send signs of interest, and just spark up a friendly conversation with her. WE ALL WANT THAT!

But! We have learned that we shouldn't do that. Our desire to want to show interest has now been subconsciously suppressed and made to stay tucked away instead of being allowed to just come out and be seen. This is what causes so much frustration. We've learned to constantly avoid women that we would like to get closer to and establish a connection with. And this tells our subconscious mind that this is normal. This is not our true behavior. It has become normal behavior because we repeatedly do it. Anything that is done repeatedly becomes a habit. Our minds have learned this pattern. If we see multiple girls and express attraction by eye flirting or smiling we feel like a pervert if they catch you looking. In addition, when they act emotionless and don't reciprocate any interest it makes you feel like why bother even showing any interest. You lose enthusiasm and now you don't approach, smile, or flirt at all. This reaction is repeated whenever you see a girl that catches your eye, in the US, because you've sent the message to your subconscious mind to not approach, flirt, or show any signs of interest. It's really just mirroring their behavior.

So did I say all that to come off like a psychologist? NO! The point I'm trying to make is that the dating scene and trying to establish a connection with girl in this countryhas psychologically affected a lot of American men . We've learned to be emotionless, rigid, and cold when it comes to showing attraction for a woman which should be the complete opposite. This is a truly sad place to find a woman to love. A place where women act afraid of men and act like they don't exist. And people try to tell you to be optimistic. I hate that. Basing in sexual frustration and constantly suppressing your desire for a woman makes you feel shut down. It's a "whatever" attitude. No emotion. Just whatever. It's no big deal anyway because the pick of woman as we all know is not great at all in this country. That's why we're looking abroad.

I agree on all counts and your post correlates exactly with what I posted a week or so ago from another forum. The post is written by a woman, here it is:

"I agree. With so many laws about sexual harassment, it seems like men can't figure out how to approach women anymore.

When I was single, I always noticed that foreign men never had any problems flirting with me or telling me that they were interested in me. Foreign men would do all kinds of things if they were interested that men in America would get arrested for. I've lived briefly in France, Spain, Mexico, Colombia, and Brazil--and in those countries men can be very aggressive in their flirting. Some of the things they would do include getting the woman's address from someone and sending her cards and flowers, walking by the woman's house multiple times hoping to run into her, waiting for her outside her job to be able to talk to her, following her around, singing to her outside her window (yes, this still happens!). Men will see you on the bus or train and get off at your stop and start a conversation. Next thing you know, they're inviting you to have a cup of coffee.

I usually found it nice, if it was someone I was attracted to. And the women in these countries generally find that behavior flattering, or at least non-threatening. Men who do this are not considered creeps or psychos. Those are all culturally acceptable ways to let a woman know they are interested.

In America there are so many constraints that men have become very unsure of themselves, unless, as Urban Sasquatch noted, they are too stupid to care."


http://www.city-data.com/forum/relation ... rting.html

[NorthAmericanguy]

Statistics that the chances of a man getting married in American after age 45 is very slim. So they panic, ignore behavior and pick the wrong woman.

I agree with this. It's true mainly because in America if you're a male over 40, dating women who are 18-25 is off limits. It's really messed up, people (even other men) look at men who desire young women (18-25) as perverts. OMG! Men desiring much younger women (18-25) is NORMAL healthy behavior, but only in America it's considered culturally inappropriate.

Also, in regards to your last statement in bold, many older men also put up with B****S**** from their wives because they know if they leave their wives they will no longer have a sex life so they just deal with living with a horrible woman.

[OTB]

@Jamesbond

Your right, that is why we are looking abroad to meet women. With foreign women, instead of frowns, you get smiles. Instead of no eye contact, you get eye contact. Instead of no flirting, you get flirting. Instead of getting no phone numbers, you get phone numbers.

EXACTLY! We yearn to be in an environment where acting like a man, by showing signs of interest, flirting, etc., is seen as a compliment and a turn on rather than being perceived as being a pervert or looking desperate. We yearn to be in an environment where our true masculinity can be free to breathe. I hate suppressing my urges to flirt and show a woman I'm attracted to her. I love flirting. But you can't get the ball rolling because most American women, not all, that you see in public will not reciprocate any signs of interest. They'll show signs of paranoia and rigidness quicker than they smile or eye flirt with you.

Now my best friend's argument is that some girls are shy, some have low self-esteem, some may have a boyfriend, or may be married. They may not reciprocate any signs of interest because they don't want to give you the wrong idea. I understand but this is the normal behavior of most women you see in public. We know they're not all taken, have low self-esteem, or are shy. If those are not the reasons they show no signs of interest they may be saying to themselves, when a man is sending signs of interest, he's not tall enough, he's not rugged enough, he's too clean cut, he's seems like he's into himself, he's bald, I don't like the way he's dressed, he's too light or too dark, I just don't feel like talking right now, and so on. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to meet someone new most of them see it as something that should be avoided. That's not healthy.

So I see my friends point but there may be deeper issues going on that make women not reciprocate any signs of interest and give off a cold and emotionless disposition.

[OTB]

@NorthAmericanguy

"I agree. With so many laws about sexual harassment, it seems like men can't figure out how to approach women anymore.

When I was single, I always noticed that foreign men never had any problems flirting with me or telling me that they were interested in me. Foreign men would do all kinds of things if they were interested that men in America would get arrested for. I've lived briefly in France, Spain, Mexico, Colombia, and Brazil--and in those countries men can be very aggressive in their flirting. Some of the things they would do include getting the woman's address from someone and sending her cards and flowers, walking by the woman's house multiple times hoping to run into her, waiting for her outside her job to be able to talk to her, following her around, singing to her outside her window (yes, this still happens!). Men will see you on the bus or train and get off at your stop and start a conversation. Next thing you know, they're inviting you to have a cup of coffee.

I usually found it nice, if it was someone I was attracted to. And the women in these countries generally find that behavior flattering, or at least non-threatening. Men who do this are not considered creeps or psychos. Those are all culturally acceptable ways to let a woman know they are interested.

In America there are so many constraints that men have become very unsure of themselves, unless, as Urban Sasquatch noted, they are too stupid to care."


http://www.city-data.com/forum/relation ... rting.html

Yes, I read it. The two do correlate with each other.

[All_That_Is_Man]

I am still trying to figure out why things like this are still debatable issues...

Men have the option of looking for non-American Woman outside of Anglosphere of direct influence. Then I see fear mongering from don't pick a woman that speaks English fluently to not bring her back to America like she'd be a victim of bodysnatchers or something.

If you're in school you should really question what "education" is really bringing "value" to your life.

I think its an excuse anyway because you can always transfer to a country and continue your education there.

As I keep saying this is paralysis by analysis. Stop thinking about it, DO IT.

Okay, so the option of leaving America is the only chance men have at happiness. It helps to vent on these forums though. Imagine having to shell out thousands of dollars just to have a normal life. Insane? Sure. But it's the reality that western males are faced with. Men have every right to be upset that we are the oppressed, yet we have to be the ones to buy passports, visas, book flights, living accommodations, learn languages, learn currency exchange/value, and ultimately build from nothing in a place far from home. Despite the reward of living in a red pill, non-misandric world, the thought of an inevitable, drastic change just for "being born in the wrong country" alone can be psychologically draining to say the least.