Happier Abroad Forum Community

Hi guys.

I'm 28 years old. I'm Chinese too. I had a father who was around but did not teach me much about growing up and how to be a man. Things like shaving, alcohol, women etc I did not learn from him. He never really bothered to teach me. My dad just kept is nose in books and researched on religious comparisons etc. He was also a vegetarian too. I wouldn't say that all religious parents are like this but I'm just talking about my case. I had to find a lot of things for myself. And I feel it really sucks.

I also have a brother who is 2 years older than me. While he is quite successful as in he has a career, he's married, he has an active social life etc. He wasn't really there for me.

I don't want to talk about a boo-hoo story and get people to pity me but I feel like I lack male role models. Sure I have people I looked up to such as some teachers, some writers, some speakers, historical figures, celebrities etc. But I felt like I never really had a male role model to show me the ropes about life and it really bothers me a lot. I feel like I lack a lot of things that maybe some people my age have. I know nowadays a lot of people grow up in single parent families and they also lack that male role model.

How about you guys? Did you guys ever had a mentor or an older male role model to confide in? This forum can serve some aspects of this purpose but it does not have the same effect as a face-to-face relationship.

My stepfather continues to teach me things about being a man.

royalism wrote:Sure I have people I looked up to such as some teachers, some writers, some speakers, historical figures, celebrities etc.

My dad was too much a psycho to be a role model.

My role models, in general, were historic figures like Ben Franklin, Buckminster Fuller, Alexander Hamilton or even fictional characters like Snake Plissken, any of Clint Eastwood's gunslingers, Doc Brown , etc. Yeah. I was looking for a way out.

The guys I'd known, growing up, were mainly caught up in their Oedipal crisis, a/o were caught up in that trap of believing that they were the next big thing, like a wannabe Hemingway, if they were well read, or Tesla/Newton, if they were good at the sciences, lot of showboating, little real substance.

I was so glad when I'd grown up and moved out.

No, because I was an only child and my Mom was the "black sheep" so no-one really came to visit us and we lived in the country so I couldn't visit my cousins, etc. Things were different in the past - no cell phones no internet, so I was isolated.

To tell you the truth I'm not sure I'd be much different if I had brothers to go hunting with, etc. as they'd all chase girls and mostly ignore me anyway...

My dad wasn't so much a role model, but I modeled after him as a kid. Always followed the guy and picked up his mannerism and general way of going about life. We're very similar, but it's hard for us to really talk to each other about things like feelings. Been a little better since he almost died though. My role model was Liam Gallagher. Really arrogant. Doesn't care what anyone thinks of him.



Also Bruce Lee more recently. Unlike other martial artists, he wasn't bound to one style, but incorporated the best parts of every one he learned.