Happier Abroad Forum Community

I've been wondering about something lately. Why is it that people in Asia, who have never been to America, think that America is very open, wild, exciting, free, and that Americans are more open, expressive, spontaneous, carefree and dramatic, than people in their own country are? This is especially the case with Chinese and Japanese, but even Filipinos view Americans this way.

What’s interesting to note is that Asians living in America do not consider Americans to be open, expressive, wild and free. Only Asians in Asia who have never been to America think that. In fact, Chinese people living in America tend to describe Americans as "fake and selfish", and that they only care about themselves and are not your real friends. This speaks volumes, and I can only wonder why the media in Asia have not debunked the false image and misconceptions that Asians have about America long ago. Why would they want their people to continue having false illusions about America? It’s very strange.

Likewise, no Mexican, Latino or Russian immigrant in America considers America to be more open, expressive, or even more free, than their country of origin. So why doesn't the worldwide mass media dispel this bizarre worldwide myth about America once and for all? Why is the global media of the world silent about this worldwide myth and false impression of America?

I asked the Chinese girls I talk to on QQ about this. They told me that they are all under the impression that America is more open than China. To them, it's like common knowledge in China. Why is that? How can Americans be more open, when Americans don't talk to strangers (unless its business-related), don't even know their neighbors, and are not social outside their clique? I don't get it. This is one of the most BIZARRE myths and illusions in the world. How does it go on?!

The Chinese girls on QQ are stumped when I ask them this:

If China is not as open as America, then why are YOU talking to me now? Why are you friendly and talkative to me now? In America, young women are NOT be as friendly to me as you are. They will not give me the time of day and will not even talk with me on the phone. They will not meet me or answer my messages on dating sites. But in China, they will. In China, women are easier to talk to and connect with. They are more down-to-earth and can have a smooth, natural conversation with men, in ways that American women cannot. YOU YOURSELF are an example of this.

In China, women will answer me on dating sites, but in America, I get ZERO responses on dating sites. Many guys I know report the same thing, not just me. In fact, all the guys I know who have been to China say that the women there are MUCH MORE friendly, open, feminine, sweet, sociable, down-to-earth, and easier to talk to and meet, then women in America. So how is America more open and friendly than China? I don't get it.

Sure in America there is more freedom of speech than in China. You can criticize the government without getting arrested. But the American people themselves are definitely NOT more open or sociable with strangers than the people in China are. Hell no! No way. That I can promise you and guarantee you 100 percent!

These questions get them thinking and realizing that most of their beliefs are derived from media hype and myths, not reality. Yet how can this be? Why would the media in China uphold a false illusion of America rather than dispel it? Is there a global conspiracy to maintain such a false perception of America? If so, why? It's amazing how the truth is often the OPPOSITE of what the mass people think based on hype, media and myth.

Here is an interesting question to ask Asians who think America is more open and friendly:

If Americans are more open, then how come Asian immigrants in America tend to make friends with only people of their own race? How come most groups in America are of the same race, not mixed? You see this everywhere, even in LA. Obviously, it's because Americans aren't open at all, and do not like to connect with Asian immigrants or become their regular friends. In America, everyone finds a group and then only hangs out with that group. They don't socialize outside of it. That's what a clique is. The bottom line is that Americans are not open with strangers. They aren't even that expressive except when they are on TV or in movies.

Unfortunately, Asians tend to consume all the latest Hollyweird movies, TV shows, and music--and get brainwashed into thinking the U.S. is some kind of 'paradise,' smh...

If only they knew the truth. ...

America is more open (at least currently) in that we have free speech (somewhat), unblocked internet (for now) and a very successful entertainment industry (television, movies, shows, etc). They get exposed to America more than we get exposed to China (well, Americans do love their unauthentic "Chinese" food...lol). I'm really surprised their government hasn't taught them to hate us like our government keeps trying to get us to blame and hate the Chinese. However, China is progressing while America is degressing. It will be interesting to see how attitudes change as economies rise while others fall...

I guess the word "open" is subjective and open to interpretation. (no pun intended) Perhaps my standard of "open" is different than the conventional meaning of it. I'm basing it on how sociable and engaging people are with strangers and how open women are to approaches, and how easy they are to meet and date.

I don't think the media has this definition in mind. lol Likewise with the word "friendly".

Winston, i think it is because of your race as an Asian man. Hard truth but consider the infamous okcupid study. There exists a racial dynamic in the USA that permeate the sexual capital of man.

That's why going overseas work. You are exploiting the racial dynamic and approximating the local standard of beauty. The local standard of beauty is only an assortment of physical and non-physical variables that are assigned different weights by a society's valuation process. It sounds technical but it is rather simple.

I also report the same thing. Getting laid is not a problem for me now. I think my well-being increased just for knowing that that part of my life is handled.

Another revelation that I had with my time here in Manila is that the middle-class know that American culture sucks. I think it's from the constant flow of balikbayans (returnees) that are reporting this. I think with the rise of Asia, as it transitions to BPO to research driven, the total immigration of Asians to USA will diminish.

Also i'd point out that in Asia there are two medias that are consumed. The Western/Hollywood produced media and the local media. The local media is as strong as hollywood and it still dictates the values of society. In the west hollywood is king. in the east, hollywood is the foreign stuff which has a lot more wow factor than the locally produced stuff.

Winston wrote: In China, women will answer me on dating sites, but in America, I get ZERO responses on dating sites. Many guys I know report the same thing, not just me. In fact, all the guys I know who have been to China say that the women there are MUCH MORE friendly, open, feminine, sweet, sociable, down-to-earth, and easier to talk to and meet, then women in America. So how is America more open and friendly than China? I don't get it.

Do you believe that your social life and dating opportunities will be much better in China?

momopi wrote:

Winston wrote: In China, women will answer me on dating sites, but in America, I get ZERO responses on dating sites. Many guys I know report the same thing, not just me. In fact, all the guys I know who have been to China say that the women there are MUCH MORE friendly, open, feminine, sweet, sociable, down-to-earth, and easier to talk to and meet, then women in America. So how is America more open and friendly than China? I don't get it.

Do you believe that your social life and dating opportunities will be much better in China?

Why do you ask such a dumb question? Of course. It has to be. It can't get any worse. Tons of women in China write me back and talk to me vs. zero in the US. My status in China would be much higher as well. All the signs and evidence point to it. Online personals is a good gauge of how you will do in person there. It's a no brainer. Why do you even ask?

Mr. Wu, are you no longer searching for uour soulmate in the Phillipines? I thought it was the best place you had found. So are you still searching for new countries to visit?

TopSpruce wrote:Mr. Wu, are you no longer searching for uour soulmate in the Phillipines? I thought it was the best place you had found. So are you still searching for new countries to visit?

I explained before, the Philippines is great for sex and easygoing female company, and one of the best places to get a girl for Western guys. But I don't have the kind of connection with them that I do with Chinese women. They don't share my genes or culture. They are also too simple and not smart enough to help you organize your affairs or help you in business. Also, Chinese women are more refined too.

Three different comments:

1. Open and friendly and carefree are completely different things.

2. Didn't you call people in East Asia uptight and robot like?

3. Yes, your response rate in America vs China has to do with 2 things.

A) You are a foreigner. Try answering ads as a 38 year old farmer with no money from some poor, backwards
province like Anhui or Henan. You won't get any responses either.

Or try answering ads in Taiwan as a normal (non-rich) Mainlander-- the response rate you'll get will be poor.

Foreign asian= i hit the lottery or equivalent to well off guy in China. Not the case 100% of the time, but if you look you'll find enough who are interested.

People in China don't trust strangers, at all. But a foreigner? They'll meet him off the street, feed him, put him up for the night and take him out and pay the bill!! But a local who asks for 1 yuan?

A Chinese girl hardly knew me and gave me the key to her apartment and let me stay there while she wasn't there, while at the same time telling me not to trust other people!!

Your conclusions are not correct-- you're not seeing the reasons behind why things occur.

What's interesting to note is that Chinese people living in America describe Americans as "fake and selfish". They say that Americans act fake, have fake smiles, and only care about themselves. They are not loyal friends you can depend on through thick and thin. And they don't care about their parents or respect their elders either. They do not describe Americans as "open, wild, and free" though.

Why is that? Isn't that so weird and interesting? lol

celery2010 wrote:Three different comments:

1. Open and friendly and carefree are completely different things.

2. Didn't you call people in East Asia uptight and robot like?

3. Yes, your response rate in America vs China has to do with 2 things.

A) You are a foreigner. Try answering ads as a 38 year old farmer with no money from some poor, backwards
province like Anhui or Henan. You won't get any responses either.

Or try answering ads in Taiwan as a normal (non-rich) Mainlander-- the response rate you'll get will be poor.

Foreign asian= i hit the lottery or equivalent to well off guy in China. Not the case 100% of the time, but if you look you'll find enough who are interested.

People in China don't trust strangers, at all. But a foreigner? They'll meet him off the street, feed him, put him up for the night and take him out and pay the bill!! But a local who asks for 1 yuan?

A Chinese girl hardly knew me and gave me the key to her apartment and let me stay there while she wasn't there, while at the same time telling me not to trust other people!!

Your conclusions are not correct-- you're not seeing the reasons behind why things occur.

Hit the nail on the head

Comes down to foreigners vs local stranger, applies to any country

Lets say some poor random Filipino try chat with other Filipino he never meet, its not gonna be smooth interaction, this poor Filipino is seen as low value man who probably needs something like money or food.

If white foreigner tries to make conversation with Filipino things will be very different, chances are you are looking for directions and genuinely need some sort of help(not begging for money or food), on top of that you are white(rich) seen as higher value

Cliquishness is norm in every country, US, Colombia, Argentina, Thailand, Germany, TW, Japan.

Banano wrote:Cliquishness is norm in every country, US, Colombia, Argentina, Thailand, Germany, TW, Japan.

I think your right, all countries are cliquish to a degree but Americans are the most cliquish people on the face of the earth! What a surprise foreigners are going to get when they come to the US thinking Americans are these open and friendly people, only to find out Americans are the most unfriendly and anti-social people in the world!

By the way Banano, I like your new avatar, I think Winston looks very hip and modern in that outfit!

Here's the view of America and Americans from outside of the country ...



Basically, it's one lifelong Venice Beach party.

This all started with our parents' generation's Frankie Avalon & Annette Funicello with movies like 'Beach Blanket Bingo' or 'Beach Party', where ppl got to be forever young, chasing SoCal gals in hot rods, surfing the waves, and playing volleyball in the sands.

jamesbond wrote:

Banano wrote:Cliquishness is norm in every country, US, Colombia, Argentina, Thailand, Germany, TW, Japan.

I think your right, all countries are cliquish to a degree but Americans are the most cliquish people on the face of the earth! What a surprise foreigners are going to get when they come to the US thinking Americans are these open and friendly people, only to find out Americans are the most unfriendly and anti-social people in the world!

By the way Banano, I like your new avatar, I think Winston looks very hip and modern in that outfit!

It's not that all countries are cliquish. It's that people with money and are well off, esp women, tend to be cliquish. Poor people are not cliquish, except in America. The poor in Russia and the Philippines are not cliquish at all.

Banano, please stop making statements about things you know nothing about. I can tell that you are not well traveled or experienced in connecting with different cultures and people, like Ladislav is. You just making sweeping shallow statements again.

Yeah I think Ladislav put it best when he said:

viewtopic.php?t=8855
"I think generally, the biggest culture shock that people experience in the US is not between their country and the US but between what they thought the US would be and what it actually is. Books and movies about America make the place appear very free and exciting and happening and the people are so interesting and emotional. There is sex and fun and romance going on. When they arrive, the place looks very conservative and the people appear robotic and quiet. Sex is subdued and hard to come by. The people are not open at all, they look closed and mistrustful. Everybody is just working and looking tired and apathetic. Talking to strangers is taboo. There are thousands of little rules and laws and social mores that seem as dogmatic and strict as those in a Muslim society. And every time you are at risk of breaking yet another law and facing very dire consequences. That is the biggest culture shock of all."

That photoshopped photo of me is supposed to portray me as a pimp by the way. lol