An Apology to Readers of Happier Abroad
Posted: February 13th, 2014, 8:32 pm
ATTENTION READERS! An important correction!
At the time I wrote the post below, I did not remember all my aliases, and now that I have remembered, I think it's due time for me to state here that most of my writings were done here under Woman'sview, and majority of the things I regret saying, was done under this alias. This is how my memory serves me. I hope I remembered it right.
Once again, I am sorry for anything that I have said here that has hurt anyone.
Wish you all happiness and peace.
Joan
An Apology to Readers of Happier Abroad
To those who have read my postings a while back, I wrote some things that I deeply regret, that I am sure, have hurt the members here, and some of the guests, also, who might have come across one or more of them. (Some postings were all right, I think, but some were way out of line). I wrote on here under two aliases, in the beginning it was "ahardy57", and when that became uncomfortable, and seem to outlive it's usefulness, I came on soon after as "feminineopinion".
Under these two aliases, I wrote some very hurtful stuff. My hurtful words have haunted me ever since, and it bothers my conscience, frequently. I am writing to apologize for my in ordinate pride, my statements, that must have hurt quite a few on here.
When I first came on here, I came in full sympathy for your plight, for your cause, and in agreement with almost all your complaints about the modern woman. I won't have stayed on so long if I did not agree with most of the basic premises of this website. The welcome I received here was a shocker for me. Some guys hurled insults at me, some assumed I was as all the other women they detested, some judged me guilty because I was an "American woman". The temptation here was to defend myself, and defend my honor. And sadly, I did that the wrong way and in ways I regret. I have hurt lots of guys who were already hurting, in ways I will never experience as a woman. This was wrong and prideful on my part.
What comes to mind is that I was not sensitive to your feelings and put forth theories, and ideas, some of them debatable, and caused others to hurt even more. I used labels that hurt many, that denied them their most basic respect as human beings. I said things that were soul-less. I did not take into consideration that I could have increased others pains and suffering inside. I let my pride get the better of me.
One example, is that I used words like "alpha male" and "beta male" which was all foolishness, really. I made some big mistakes. You cannot use words like that to fellow human beings and especially my brothers on here. I did not acknowledge your value as unique human beings, priceless, precious and beautiful. Each person has a uniqueness, that no one else can ever have, ever again. And their value is priceless. I suffer now when I think of the things I wrote that did not make others feel their true worth. Instead, I made others feel less than who they really were. In short, "alpha male" and "beta male" are useless words. The only truth is that each of you are precious and irreplaceable, and wonderful beyond words.
In another post, I wrote "The Odds Are Good, But the Goods Are Odd." Part of me thought it was funny at the time, even clever. But, my words hurt me now. I ask forgiveness of each one of you. That was plain wrong and insensitive. I marvel at the ways human beings can create ways to hurt each other, and in this case, I was no exception. It was really stupid of me to put this on here. To all I hurt, I apologize. Nobody is odd. Everyone is beautiful just the way they are.
I also said at times I could only marry someone who was financially well off. Perhaps these written statements are some of the worse ones that haunt me, now. Clearly, this was not something for me to have said. Especially, in this recession, in which so many are struggling. My words hurt me often when I think of what I said. I am seeing someone who is very poor, and clearly I would chose him over money, because love mean everything to me. What was I saying then?! I feel ashamed now because of what I said. I want now to say, "The true wealth is unconditional love." If I die now and I only have a poor man who loves me, I have everything. To all men, of all income out there, and no income, your true worth is in your heart, and I apologize to all I have hurt.
At times, I stated, that I am attracted to "alpha males", and talked much about it. The truth is, when all is said and done, each person is a beautiful human being and their value comes from inside, not in his appearance. I don't think this has any weight what you look like, it's who you are inside. Every person deserves respect and should be given the time and consideration to express themselves to show their good qualities. And every person deserves to be loved and to give love.
At times, I was goaded by many on here, to say things that might be incendiary. At times I felt you all were getting together as a forum to make me say something that will prove I was like the "women" out there who had hurt you, or who had made your life miserable. At least, I felt so. It gave me a lot of power. And it brought out a side of me I didn't know I had. But, it was not a good side. And, I regret it. Whether you guys goaded me or not, does not in anyway excuse my words, and I am sorry I have hurt anyone of you because of them.
I, also, was a victim of the new technology, where I could sit at home and type at my keyboard and witness the wonder of technology at the press of a button, have the whole world read my words in an instant. It is new, and you don't realize the power to damage innocent people, until a long time after the words have been sent. And you do not have any control over how many people who read what you have published. And it can take a life of its own. And the hurt one inflicts on others can linger long after the words are read. Once again, I apologized from the bottom of my heart, to all I have hurt by my words.
As I said in the beginning of this post, I was always sympathetic to your cause, and perhaps even more so, now. You all have a very real gripe and I pray the day will come when things are fair for all people, men and women, and people will be loved and respected for who they are.
I wish each of you love and happiness. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
At the time I wrote the post below, I did not remember all my aliases, and now that I have remembered, I think it's due time for me to state here that most of my writings were done here under Woman'sview, and majority of the things I regret saying, was done under this alias. This is how my memory serves me. I hope I remembered it right.
Once again, I am sorry for anything that I have said here that has hurt anyone.
Wish you all happiness and peace.
Joan
An Apology to Readers of Happier Abroad
To those who have read my postings a while back, I wrote some things that I deeply regret, that I am sure, have hurt the members here, and some of the guests, also, who might have come across one or more of them. (Some postings were all right, I think, but some were way out of line). I wrote on here under two aliases, in the beginning it was "ahardy57", and when that became uncomfortable, and seem to outlive it's usefulness, I came on soon after as "feminineopinion".
Under these two aliases, I wrote some very hurtful stuff. My hurtful words have haunted me ever since, and it bothers my conscience, frequently. I am writing to apologize for my in ordinate pride, my statements, that must have hurt quite a few on here.
When I first came on here, I came in full sympathy for your plight, for your cause, and in agreement with almost all your complaints about the modern woman. I won't have stayed on so long if I did not agree with most of the basic premises of this website. The welcome I received here was a shocker for me. Some guys hurled insults at me, some assumed I was as all the other women they detested, some judged me guilty because I was an "American woman". The temptation here was to defend myself, and defend my honor. And sadly, I did that the wrong way and in ways I regret. I have hurt lots of guys who were already hurting, in ways I will never experience as a woman. This was wrong and prideful on my part.
What comes to mind is that I was not sensitive to your feelings and put forth theories, and ideas, some of them debatable, and caused others to hurt even more. I used labels that hurt many, that denied them their most basic respect as human beings. I said things that were soul-less. I did not take into consideration that I could have increased others pains and suffering inside. I let my pride get the better of me.
One example, is that I used words like "alpha male" and "beta male" which was all foolishness, really. I made some big mistakes. You cannot use words like that to fellow human beings and especially my brothers on here. I did not acknowledge your value as unique human beings, priceless, precious and beautiful. Each person has a uniqueness, that no one else can ever have, ever again. And their value is priceless. I suffer now when I think of the things I wrote that did not make others feel their true worth. Instead, I made others feel less than who they really were. In short, "alpha male" and "beta male" are useless words. The only truth is that each of you are precious and irreplaceable, and wonderful beyond words.
In another post, I wrote "The Odds Are Good, But the Goods Are Odd." Part of me thought it was funny at the time, even clever. But, my words hurt me now. I ask forgiveness of each one of you. That was plain wrong and insensitive. I marvel at the ways human beings can create ways to hurt each other, and in this case, I was no exception. It was really stupid of me to put this on here. To all I hurt, I apologize. Nobody is odd. Everyone is beautiful just the way they are.
I also said at times I could only marry someone who was financially well off. Perhaps these written statements are some of the worse ones that haunt me, now. Clearly, this was not something for me to have said. Especially, in this recession, in which so many are struggling. My words hurt me often when I think of what I said. I am seeing someone who is very poor, and clearly I would chose him over money, because love mean everything to me. What was I saying then?! I feel ashamed now because of what I said. I want now to say, "The true wealth is unconditional love." If I die now and I only have a poor man who loves me, I have everything. To all men, of all income out there, and no income, your true worth is in your heart, and I apologize to all I have hurt.
At times, I stated, that I am attracted to "alpha males", and talked much about it. The truth is, when all is said and done, each person is a beautiful human being and their value comes from inside, not in his appearance. I don't think this has any weight what you look like, it's who you are inside. Every person deserves respect and should be given the time and consideration to express themselves to show their good qualities. And every person deserves to be loved and to give love.
At times, I was goaded by many on here, to say things that might be incendiary. At times I felt you all were getting together as a forum to make me say something that will prove I was like the "women" out there who had hurt you, or who had made your life miserable. At least, I felt so. It gave me a lot of power. And it brought out a side of me I didn't know I had. But, it was not a good side. And, I regret it. Whether you guys goaded me or not, does not in anyway excuse my words, and I am sorry I have hurt anyone of you because of them.
I, also, was a victim of the new technology, where I could sit at home and type at my keyboard and witness the wonder of technology at the press of a button, have the whole world read my words in an instant. It is new, and you don't realize the power to damage innocent people, until a long time after the words have been sent. And you do not have any control over how many people who read what you have published. And it can take a life of its own. And the hurt one inflicts on others can linger long after the words are read. Once again, I apologized from the bottom of my heart, to all I have hurt by my words.
As I said in the beginning of this post, I was always sympathetic to your cause, and perhaps even more so, now. You all have a very real gripe and I pray the day will come when things are fair for all people, men and women, and people will be loved and respected for who they are.
I wish each of you love and happiness. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!