Fake Confidence and Low Self-Esteem Myth: Fictitious Inventions of Modern America
Posted: September 14th, 2014, 8:35 pm
Fake Confidence and Self-Esteem: Fictitious Inventions of Modern America
Have you noticed that popular concepts in America such as "confidence" and "self-esteem" seem to be like some weird religion or cult? They are treated like some "magic pill" that will solve all your problems and make you succeed at anything. Have you ever felt that there was something fake about all that? If so, you're not alone.
When you analyze such terms logically, you find that they are nebulous and devoid of substance. People who make a big deal out of them seem inauthentic and delusional, like they are trying to hype up something artificial without basis in logic, fact or science. It all sounds very fake and phony, like hype without substance.
Yet such terms are treated like magical holy words in American pop psychology, the motivational/self-improvement industry, the New Age movement, etc. The word "confidence" is popular with American men, and "self-esteem" is like some cult to American women.
Let me tell you a shocking secret that most Americans don't know:
When you leave America and go to other countries, you are never told that you need to develop "confidence" or "self-esteem". That's something you usually only hear in America. This begs the question, WHY?
Moreover, if you look at the history books and historical records of the last 5,000 years of human history, you will also notice that there things like "confidence, self-esteem and mental health" were never issues that people dealt with in the past. There was no such thing as a "self-improvement" program involving such pseudo-traits.
The closest thing to it was "bravery and courage" in that men were encourages to be brave and courageous in fighting for their country during time of war. But when it came to social affairs, one did not have to be concerned with pseudo-concepts like "confidence" or "self-esteem".
The more you look into it, the more you realize that "confidence" and "self-esteem" are FICTITIOUS inventions of modern American culture. They are products of bullshit pop psychology, New Age, and the self-help industry, all of which are mostly fake.
So you gotta wonder: WHY? Why are they such big issues in modern American life, and within the New Age self-help movement, but not in other countries -- especially countries with long rich histories like India, China or Russia? Why are you not told in other countries that you need "confidence" or "self-esteem"?
The only logical explanation is that modern American culture is very fake, artificial and toxic. It tears people down in an overly competitive, soulless and negative environment. So one must struggle to maintain basic self-confidence.
The key to understanding American culture is this: In a fake artificial culture, one MUST become fake and artificial in order to fit into it. Therefore, when you are told that "you need confidence and self-esteem" what you are really being told is that: "You need to learn to act more fake in order to fit into a fake culture".
So basically, "confidence" and "self-esteem" are not real issues. Nor are they natural. People are not born lacking "confidence" or "self-esteem". They are conditioned to lack those things in America because the system wants to tear you down and make you feel insecure so you will over-consume. Otherwise, if you were whole and down-to-earth, you would not consume excessively or buy things you don't need.
Insecure people are also easier to control and manipulate. So America wants you to be insecure so that it can sell you fake "confidence" through consumerism. By making "confidence" and "self-esteem" artificial traits, people will always struggle to attain them. And furthermore, they can be taken away any time as well, making people easier to manipulate.
This the only logical explanation for the invention of such artificial traits in America that are unnatural. Basically, it's an attempt by a fake American culture to try to fix something that's not broken. Simply put, it tries to inflate you with something you don't need, in order to manipulate you.
Now, if you try to follow these fake American self-improvement programs, all you do is end up doing is putting on a fake mask in a fake culture. It won't really solve your problems or change your life. You gotta understand that America is the king of fakeness and bullshit.
That's why people who are down-to-earth, authentic, or deep thinkers, tend to not fit into America. They are out-of-place in a culture that is predicated on fakeness, phoniness, hype, illusion, bullshit and overly materialistic values. Authentic people do not like acting fake, nor can they. But if they complain, they will be given bullshit advice in America such as that they need "confidence" and "self-esteem". It's all a victim-blaming myth and illusion.
Also, people who have deep souls will not feel validated in America, which has a soulless culture that is all about consumerism, business, and making money. Since there is no true soul or rich culture in America, therefore the soulful will feel like a fish out of water.
History and foreign countries today prove that traits like "confidence" and "self-esteem" are not a natural part of life or society. The fact that they are not issues in other countries, or in past history either, speaks volumes.
Now, the word "confidence" was used in past history, but it was used in a normal way. For example, if you told someone you trusted them, you would say, "I have the utmost confidence in you." Or if you were optimistic about winning you'd say, "I am confident we will win this battle." But "confidence" was never part of some self-improvement cult, like some kind of "drug" or "fuel" you have to keep pumping yourself up with in order to keep your spirits high and your attitude positive. To do that is so fake and has no value.
If you want to succeed, you gotta work hard at doing something you love and believe in and have some natural talent in. That's all there is to it. But merely pumping up "confidence" or "self-esteem" as though it were some type of fuel, just for the sake of it, isn't going to accomplish anything. It's just pumping yourself up with delusion.
Besides, what the hell does "self-esteem" mean anyway? It doesn't make any sense and sounds like a fake illusion. If I already like myself, why do I need "self-esteem"? Am I supposed to keep telling myself everyday, "I like myself. I am worthy." etc. in order to raise my "self-esteem" evermore? What would be the point of that? That's so stupid and fake.
Also, another negative consequence with promoting "self-esteem" is that it's not just delusional, but leads one to overvalue oneself and become unemployable as well. For instance, American workers always want top wages and think they are worth more than they are. They have an overinflated view of themselves and an entitlement complex. There is no modesty or humility in them.
As a result, companies begin outsourcing their work overseas to India, Philippines, and China, where they can find labor at much lower cost. This decreases the availability of jobs in America. It's not the companies' fault though. They are doing what's logical. I would not want to employ over-entitled Americans who overvalue themselves either.
America is delusional in that it mixes up self-esteem and confidence with narcissism, egoism, arrogance, and the overvaluation of oneself. America is the king when it comes to fakeness, bullshit, and self-delusion. Nowhere else on earth are there so many crazy people, delusional people, fake people, and mentally ill people.
Instead of promoting confidence and self-esteem, which teaches Americans to overvalue themselves, America should be teaching people traits like humility and authenticity. Such traits make people more real and easier to get along with, and less toxic as well.
The term "self-esteem" is a relatively modern invention that had no existence in the past. Even in America's past, there was no self-improvement program that involved working on one's "self-esteem". In the 1800's for example, Americans were taught to be hard-working while doing manual labor and farm work. An honest day's work was a virtue. Life was hard for sure, and one had to be tough to survive the rigors of the Wild West. But at least life was natural and authentic, not fake like modern America. People got real exercise while working and being productive. They didn't need to go to gyms to work out.
In Medieval Europe, people were taught to be brave and courageous in fighting for their king and country during wartime. People lived and fought for honor and glory. They worked hard to harvest crops so they could enjoy life during the off-season. For peasants, life was harsh and grueling, yeah, but at least it was real and authentic. There was no fakeness. People were genuine and passionate. As long as you knew your place, you could be yourself. No need to act fake or worry about pseudo issues like "confidence" or "self-esteem". Also, rulers (Kings and Queens) were more honest and open in that they ruled out in the open. Everyone knew who they were and what they were doing, unlike in America where the elite rule in secrecy behind the shadows under the false guise of "democracy" and constantly lie about their intentions.
Even in the Bible, there is no mention of "confidence" or "self-esteem". There are only stories with moral lessons encouraging faith in God and obeying his commandments. Geez. You would think that if things like "confidence" and "self-esteem" were real, that they'd at least be mentioned somewhere in the 66 books of the Bible. The fact that they aren't again speaks volumes.
Today, in other countries where cultures and people are more authentic, down-to-earth and humble, you can be yourself and are accepted as such. You don't have to try to be something you're not. It's the most liberating thing, because being free to be yourself is the ultimate meaning of freedom.
Here's the big secret: When you are comfortable and free to be yourself, and accepted for it, a true and natural confidence will come with it. And that's exactly what you get overseas. But you have to get out of America to attain it.
This explains then, why I am only told that I need to develop more "confidence" in America. But in other countries, such as Russia, women often tell me that "I seem too confident, and a great charmer of women as well", believe it or not. It's like I am two different people in different countries.
I think I know why: When I'm allowed to be my romantic charming self (which is considered creepy and taboo in America) overseas in an authentic country like Russia, for example, my natural confidence comes out. This is one of the greatest discoveries I've made in my life.
Furthermore, the social environment abroad is genuine, down-to-earth and inclusive. There is a natural social connection between people that is friendly, natural and positive. No one is trying to tear you down. Thus, fictitious issues like "confidence" and "self-esteem" become unnecessary.
After all, when you don't need to conform to a fake culture, you don't need to develop such fake traits. Only in a fake culture do you need to cultivate fake traits. Simple logic.
In addition to being fake, America is also a paranoid socially disconnected society where people live in bubbles with "ice walls" between them. (hence the term "breaking the ice" when talking to strangers) There is no human connection and people don't talk to strangers unless it's business related. Now if you've never left America, you might think that's normal, but once you go abroad, you will realize that it's not.
As a result, in such an isolating environment, it's easy for people to become lonely and depressed. Many will be psychologically weakened in such a disconnected environment. At that point, it becomes easy to make them think that they lack pseudo qualities such as "confidence" or "self-esteem", so you that can SELL them whatever you want under the pretense that they will attain such pseudo qualities. It's all a fake con based on false premises.
By getting people to blame themselves rather than on their environment or culture, you can sell them stuff, i.e. BS self-improvement materials and programs, which may make you feel good for a while, but won't really amount to anything. After all, there is no profit in getting people to place the blame on their culture or society, which is where the true fault lies. So there's no incentive to tell people the truth (unless you are trying to sell people into a cult or religion of course).
Once you understand all this, you realize that such concepts as "self-esteem" are phony as hell, and are merely products of the artificial culture of modern America and its pseudo self-improvement programs that attempt to profit off you under false premises.
Furthermore, people in most other countries are much more humble, modest and down-to-earth. In fact, when you leave America, it's one of the first things you notice. They do not act arrogant, do not have big egos, and do not have this know-it-all attitude that most in America have. Even if you go to England, you will notice that people are much more real (not fake) and act more down-to-earth than Americans do.
Thus, foreigners are much easier to get along with, since humble people are easier to get along with than arrogant people are. In dealing with them, there is not this toxic "battle of egos" that you have in America. Therefore, you do not need to artificially inflate your pseudo "confidence" to compete in the kind of ego-battle that is commonly required in America.
Does that make sense?
Furthermore, issues like "mental health" are not much of an issue in other countries either. If you don't believe me, go to other countries and ask around. Ask people abroad if they or anyone they know, have had to deal with mental health issues, see a psychiatrist or therapist, etc.
You will be shocked to find out that they don't, and that such problems are mostly issues in America -- which has been documented to have the highest rates of mental illness in the world by the World Health Organization. (http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news ... staggering)
This speaks volumes about how fake, insane, toxic and dysfunctional American culture and society are. No question about it. When you discover this, you will realize that the best solution to so called "mental health" problems in America are best solved (or at least greatly alleviated) by going abroad. I know this from firsthand experience. See my story here: http://www.happierabroad.com/Childhood.htm
Anyhow, I hope you consider all that I've said. If you meditate on it, it will begin to make sense to you. Truth is something you can feel instinctively. It's not always something that needs to be proven logically.
See Also:
The Myth of Confidence
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=9050
Have you noticed that popular concepts in America such as "confidence" and "self-esteem" seem to be like some weird religion or cult? They are treated like some "magic pill" that will solve all your problems and make you succeed at anything. Have you ever felt that there was something fake about all that? If so, you're not alone.
When you analyze such terms logically, you find that they are nebulous and devoid of substance. People who make a big deal out of them seem inauthentic and delusional, like they are trying to hype up something artificial without basis in logic, fact or science. It all sounds very fake and phony, like hype without substance.
Yet such terms are treated like magical holy words in American pop psychology, the motivational/self-improvement industry, the New Age movement, etc. The word "confidence" is popular with American men, and "self-esteem" is like some cult to American women.
Let me tell you a shocking secret that most Americans don't know:
When you leave America and go to other countries, you are never told that you need to develop "confidence" or "self-esteem". That's something you usually only hear in America. This begs the question, WHY?
Moreover, if you look at the history books and historical records of the last 5,000 years of human history, you will also notice that there things like "confidence, self-esteem and mental health" were never issues that people dealt with in the past. There was no such thing as a "self-improvement" program involving such pseudo-traits.
The closest thing to it was "bravery and courage" in that men were encourages to be brave and courageous in fighting for their country during time of war. But when it came to social affairs, one did not have to be concerned with pseudo-concepts like "confidence" or "self-esteem".
The more you look into it, the more you realize that "confidence" and "self-esteem" are FICTITIOUS inventions of modern American culture. They are products of bullshit pop psychology, New Age, and the self-help industry, all of which are mostly fake.
So you gotta wonder: WHY? Why are they such big issues in modern American life, and within the New Age self-help movement, but not in other countries -- especially countries with long rich histories like India, China or Russia? Why are you not told in other countries that you need "confidence" or "self-esteem"?
The only logical explanation is that modern American culture is very fake, artificial and toxic. It tears people down in an overly competitive, soulless and negative environment. So one must struggle to maintain basic self-confidence.
The key to understanding American culture is this: In a fake artificial culture, one MUST become fake and artificial in order to fit into it. Therefore, when you are told that "you need confidence and self-esteem" what you are really being told is that: "You need to learn to act more fake in order to fit into a fake culture".
So basically, "confidence" and "self-esteem" are not real issues. Nor are they natural. People are not born lacking "confidence" or "self-esteem". They are conditioned to lack those things in America because the system wants to tear you down and make you feel insecure so you will over-consume. Otherwise, if you were whole and down-to-earth, you would not consume excessively or buy things you don't need.
Insecure people are also easier to control and manipulate. So America wants you to be insecure so that it can sell you fake "confidence" through consumerism. By making "confidence" and "self-esteem" artificial traits, people will always struggle to attain them. And furthermore, they can be taken away any time as well, making people easier to manipulate.
This the only logical explanation for the invention of such artificial traits in America that are unnatural. Basically, it's an attempt by a fake American culture to try to fix something that's not broken. Simply put, it tries to inflate you with something you don't need, in order to manipulate you.
Now, if you try to follow these fake American self-improvement programs, all you do is end up doing is putting on a fake mask in a fake culture. It won't really solve your problems or change your life. You gotta understand that America is the king of fakeness and bullshit.
That's why people who are down-to-earth, authentic, or deep thinkers, tend to not fit into America. They are out-of-place in a culture that is predicated on fakeness, phoniness, hype, illusion, bullshit and overly materialistic values. Authentic people do not like acting fake, nor can they. But if they complain, they will be given bullshit advice in America such as that they need "confidence" and "self-esteem". It's all a victim-blaming myth and illusion.
Also, people who have deep souls will not feel validated in America, which has a soulless culture that is all about consumerism, business, and making money. Since there is no true soul or rich culture in America, therefore the soulful will feel like a fish out of water.
History and foreign countries today prove that traits like "confidence" and "self-esteem" are not a natural part of life or society. The fact that they are not issues in other countries, or in past history either, speaks volumes.
Now, the word "confidence" was used in past history, but it was used in a normal way. For example, if you told someone you trusted them, you would say, "I have the utmost confidence in you." Or if you were optimistic about winning you'd say, "I am confident we will win this battle." But "confidence" was never part of some self-improvement cult, like some kind of "drug" or "fuel" you have to keep pumping yourself up with in order to keep your spirits high and your attitude positive. To do that is so fake and has no value.
If you want to succeed, you gotta work hard at doing something you love and believe in and have some natural talent in. That's all there is to it. But merely pumping up "confidence" or "self-esteem" as though it were some type of fuel, just for the sake of it, isn't going to accomplish anything. It's just pumping yourself up with delusion.
Besides, what the hell does "self-esteem" mean anyway? It doesn't make any sense and sounds like a fake illusion. If I already like myself, why do I need "self-esteem"? Am I supposed to keep telling myself everyday, "I like myself. I am worthy." etc. in order to raise my "self-esteem" evermore? What would be the point of that? That's so stupid and fake.
Also, another negative consequence with promoting "self-esteem" is that it's not just delusional, but leads one to overvalue oneself and become unemployable as well. For instance, American workers always want top wages and think they are worth more than they are. They have an overinflated view of themselves and an entitlement complex. There is no modesty or humility in them.
As a result, companies begin outsourcing their work overseas to India, Philippines, and China, where they can find labor at much lower cost. This decreases the availability of jobs in America. It's not the companies' fault though. They are doing what's logical. I would not want to employ over-entitled Americans who overvalue themselves either.
America is delusional in that it mixes up self-esteem and confidence with narcissism, egoism, arrogance, and the overvaluation of oneself. America is the king when it comes to fakeness, bullshit, and self-delusion. Nowhere else on earth are there so many crazy people, delusional people, fake people, and mentally ill people.
Instead of promoting confidence and self-esteem, which teaches Americans to overvalue themselves, America should be teaching people traits like humility and authenticity. Such traits make people more real and easier to get along with, and less toxic as well.
The term "self-esteem" is a relatively modern invention that had no existence in the past. Even in America's past, there was no self-improvement program that involved working on one's "self-esteem". In the 1800's for example, Americans were taught to be hard-working while doing manual labor and farm work. An honest day's work was a virtue. Life was hard for sure, and one had to be tough to survive the rigors of the Wild West. But at least life was natural and authentic, not fake like modern America. People got real exercise while working and being productive. They didn't need to go to gyms to work out.
In Medieval Europe, people were taught to be brave and courageous in fighting for their king and country during wartime. People lived and fought for honor and glory. They worked hard to harvest crops so they could enjoy life during the off-season. For peasants, life was harsh and grueling, yeah, but at least it was real and authentic. There was no fakeness. People were genuine and passionate. As long as you knew your place, you could be yourself. No need to act fake or worry about pseudo issues like "confidence" or "self-esteem". Also, rulers (Kings and Queens) were more honest and open in that they ruled out in the open. Everyone knew who they were and what they were doing, unlike in America where the elite rule in secrecy behind the shadows under the false guise of "democracy" and constantly lie about their intentions.
Even in the Bible, there is no mention of "confidence" or "self-esteem". There are only stories with moral lessons encouraging faith in God and obeying his commandments. Geez. You would think that if things like "confidence" and "self-esteem" were real, that they'd at least be mentioned somewhere in the 66 books of the Bible. The fact that they aren't again speaks volumes.
Today, in other countries where cultures and people are more authentic, down-to-earth and humble, you can be yourself and are accepted as such. You don't have to try to be something you're not. It's the most liberating thing, because being free to be yourself is the ultimate meaning of freedom.
Here's the big secret: When you are comfortable and free to be yourself, and accepted for it, a true and natural confidence will come with it. And that's exactly what you get overseas. But you have to get out of America to attain it.
This explains then, why I am only told that I need to develop more "confidence" in America. But in other countries, such as Russia, women often tell me that "I seem too confident, and a great charmer of women as well", believe it or not. It's like I am two different people in different countries.
I think I know why: When I'm allowed to be my romantic charming self (which is considered creepy and taboo in America) overseas in an authentic country like Russia, for example, my natural confidence comes out. This is one of the greatest discoveries I've made in my life.
Furthermore, the social environment abroad is genuine, down-to-earth and inclusive. There is a natural social connection between people that is friendly, natural and positive. No one is trying to tear you down. Thus, fictitious issues like "confidence" and "self-esteem" become unnecessary.
After all, when you don't need to conform to a fake culture, you don't need to develop such fake traits. Only in a fake culture do you need to cultivate fake traits. Simple logic.
In addition to being fake, America is also a paranoid socially disconnected society where people live in bubbles with "ice walls" between them. (hence the term "breaking the ice" when talking to strangers) There is no human connection and people don't talk to strangers unless it's business related. Now if you've never left America, you might think that's normal, but once you go abroad, you will realize that it's not.
As a result, in such an isolating environment, it's easy for people to become lonely and depressed. Many will be psychologically weakened in such a disconnected environment. At that point, it becomes easy to make them think that they lack pseudo qualities such as "confidence" or "self-esteem", so you that can SELL them whatever you want under the pretense that they will attain such pseudo qualities. It's all a fake con based on false premises.
By getting people to blame themselves rather than on their environment or culture, you can sell them stuff, i.e. BS self-improvement materials and programs, which may make you feel good for a while, but won't really amount to anything. After all, there is no profit in getting people to place the blame on their culture or society, which is where the true fault lies. So there's no incentive to tell people the truth (unless you are trying to sell people into a cult or religion of course).
Once you understand all this, you realize that such concepts as "self-esteem" are phony as hell, and are merely products of the artificial culture of modern America and its pseudo self-improvement programs that attempt to profit off you under false premises.
Furthermore, people in most other countries are much more humble, modest and down-to-earth. In fact, when you leave America, it's one of the first things you notice. They do not act arrogant, do not have big egos, and do not have this know-it-all attitude that most in America have. Even if you go to England, you will notice that people are much more real (not fake) and act more down-to-earth than Americans do.
Thus, foreigners are much easier to get along with, since humble people are easier to get along with than arrogant people are. In dealing with them, there is not this toxic "battle of egos" that you have in America. Therefore, you do not need to artificially inflate your pseudo "confidence" to compete in the kind of ego-battle that is commonly required in America.
Does that make sense?
Furthermore, issues like "mental health" are not much of an issue in other countries either. If you don't believe me, go to other countries and ask around. Ask people abroad if they or anyone they know, have had to deal with mental health issues, see a psychiatrist or therapist, etc.
You will be shocked to find out that they don't, and that such problems are mostly issues in America -- which has been documented to have the highest rates of mental illness in the world by the World Health Organization. (http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news ... staggering)
This speaks volumes about how fake, insane, toxic and dysfunctional American culture and society are. No question about it. When you discover this, you will realize that the best solution to so called "mental health" problems in America are best solved (or at least greatly alleviated) by going abroad. I know this from firsthand experience. See my story here: http://www.happierabroad.com/Childhood.htm
Anyhow, I hope you consider all that I've said. If you meditate on it, it will begin to make sense to you. Truth is something you can feel instinctively. It's not always something that needs to be proven logically.
See Also:
The Myth of Confidence
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=9050
