Happier Abroad Forum Community

It generally isn't a good idea, I know it's far easier to get a wife from those countries but there is a reason for that. And that's money.

Most of the women that will come at you in those 3rd world countries like Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia, parts of Russia or also parts of China, the particular women that seem very easy and want to be with you are doing it because of money and the ability to take care of their family. Quite a few of them are even raised like that, they see a western white man as a gullible ticket to a better life and also help out their family.


Even in my country here of Australia, you can drive down to Sydney and there is like a whole large area of Sydney that is Chinatown and the surrounding few blocks that is basically all Chinese people and you only see a white person like 1 in every 80 people or so.

Not all of those Chinese people are even citizens though, most come from Mainland China and come here to Sydney to work on a "working Visa", they then take their money back home when they go back to China and get a significant increase in the money because of the exchange rate. They basically are using Australia as a means to earn more money (once again all about the money). Because of the consumer price index and exchange rate you can take your Australian money and get on average at least a 70% increase in your money when you get back to China.



This is why precisely it's nearly always bad to try to get a wife who is from one of these 3rd or 2nd world countries.


This is also why you hear guys complain about Asian women in 1st world countries and claim they are not as nice, it's because the Asian women in the 1st world countries have no incentives to like the western man. In fact if you have an Asian woman from a 1st world country be interested in you then you likely have yourself a legitimate Asian partner at that point. Someone who probably actually like you!

You see in many countries like Singapore you lose money if you go over there with your Australian money, they are higher on the currency pole. And even other modern countries like Japan or Hong Kong, there is no practical incentive for them financially. These 1st world countries in my opinion are actually the best place to find a legitimate Asian wife if you are into Asian women.


But going to Thailand, Philippines, Poor parts of China, Indonesia etc and looking for an Asian wife is just silly as their incentive is not what you think, most of them don't like you for who you are, they have other reasons for being friendly to you.

Zionosis wrote:It generally isn't a good idea, I know it's far easier to get a wife from those countries but there is a reason for that. And that's money.

Most of the women that will come at you in those 3rd world countries like Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia, parts of Russia or also parts of China, the particular women that seem very easy and want to be with you are doing it because of money and the ability to take care of their family. Quite a few of them are even raised like that, they see a western white man as a gullible ticket to a better life and also help out their family.

You are overgeneralizing.

To a certain extent, it is a legitimate concern for a woman looking for a husband to find one who can be a provider. Imagine people who did hunter gathering and a little farming way back when. When a woman got pregnant, she needed her man to be strong to go out and hunt game an bring meat back to the hut. Now, the man may go out to the factory to earn money, but it's the same principle. Some Asian women are a bit more practical about marriage. They usually want love, but they want love with a man who can provide. And western women are like this to some degree.

Women can also respect and be attracted to a man for things beyond looks. Like if he's accomplished something and has it all together. Some women like powerful men, accomplished men, influential and that would include rich men. All these things could help a woman be attracted to you. High status could cause a woman to be more attracted to you.

In some countries, white men are seen as likely to be rich, and some cases high status. In the Philippines and Indonesia, 'pointy noses' and light skin are seen as attractive. These were physical traits of the people from the countries that colonized and ruled them for hundreds of years. But they are seen as attractive. You could be average-looking in Australia, but gain 2 points on a one-to-ten scale in the Philippines or Indonesia for your looks because you have these features. They perceive you as good-looking. And you also are foreign, which has a bit of a mystique about it. There is more to foreign men being attractive than just money. Being a bit tall can also make you more attractive. Certain women like body hair on a man. If a girl likes that, white men have an advantage.

I know that in Indonesia, some women just liked white men. They wanted white husbands. The fact that foreigners earned more money probably contributed to it, but I think there is attraction on an emotional level.

Some girls will want to send a lot of money home to mom and dad. For me, when we lived there, money we gave wasn't more than all the money we'd spend on Christmas cards and gifts for my relatives in the US. Philippinos may expect more money, and it depends on the family. You could marry the daughter of a businessman who did well.

There are cultural reasons why, on average, it can be better to marry certain Asians. My wife is from a people-group where divorce is taboo. In western countries, for men, a big threat to you is that of the walk-away woman. Lets say you marry a woman, and she gets bored and says, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore." She divorces you against your will. The courts award her covenant breaking with you paying her alimony, custody of the kids, and your having to pay child support. While you are deciding to live in your car or move back with her parents, your child support payments pay her rent. From what I've read, this kind of thing is more likely to happen if you marry a white woman from a western country than a Filippina. It seems less likely if you marry an Indonesian. I don't know about all the other races.

Some Asian women from Asia have grown up hearing and seeing demonstrated the idea that the man is the head of the family. If a woman is disrespectful to her husband, that's a bad thing. But a lot of white women have grown up seeing disrespect to husbands and fathers in real life, and presented as normal on TV. Women get can emotional depending on their temperaments. Lets say you get in an argument with your wife and she says something she shouldn't. Some Asian women are going to feel really bad about it because from the way they were raised, they know they were wrong.

Now you can find white women from western countries that are faithful, committed to marriage, and respectful to their husbands. There are religious, God-fearing women who believe they should submit to their husbands for whom it is against their religion to divorce. You can also find terrible Asian wives who don't it the stereotype. There are Asian scammers out to scam men out of their money. But those are the minority, especially if you are offline meeting people in real life.

It would be interesting to see if Asians raised in the west have lower divorce rates than the general population. Also, some Asian people-groups have higher divorce rates than other Asians. This is also something to consider.

A lot of women seemed to like me when I was in Indonesia, but I didn't date them all, or everyone who was attractive. You have to be selective. I could tell my wife was not very money-motivated. I can't say that for all her relatives. But she genuinely wanted to keep me from spending too much on her while we were dating. She'd feel bad about me running up the phone bill talking to her. She moved closer and we met in person. I'd take her out all the time, and she'd order cheap stuff, try to save money, things like that. I could tell she was frugal.

Not all of those Chinese people are even citizens though, most come from Mainland China and come here to Sydney to work on a "working Visa", they then take their money back home when they go back to China and get a significant increase in the money because of the exchange rate. They basically are using Australia as a means to earn more money (once again all about the money). Because of the consumer price index and exchange rate you can take your Australian money and get on average at least a 70% increase in your money when you get back to China.

This is why precisely it's nearly always bad to try to get a wife who is from one of these 3rd or 2nd world countries.

I don't follow your reasoning. Why do Chinese earning money in Australia and spending it in China mean it's bad to get a wife from a developing country? If you marry a Chinese women, you could spend some time in China with her enjoying the cheap prices. That doesn't make her a bad wife.

This is also why you hear guys complain about Asian women in 1st world countries and claim they are not as nice, it's because the Asian women in the 1st world countries have no incentives to like the western man. In fact if you have an Asian woman from a 1st world country be interested in you then you likely have yourself a legitimate Asian partner at that point. Someone who probably actually like you!

In the west, men pick up girls in bars, ask them out for dates, etc. Good looking girls have a lot of power, it seems. In some Asian cultures dating is more serious, and men aren't asking women out left and right. And women are hoping some good man will come along and marry them. Parts of Southeast Asia value being friendly and polite to people, and women are polite to you when you talk to them. They don't roll their eyes at you or think you are a creep if you are just being friendly.

Some good-looking women in the west have a princess complex. They expect men to go out of their way to impress them. Usually this is the hot girl where her looks have gone to her head and she's kind of got a charm or sassiness to her. A good-looking Asian woman has white guys flirting with her and asking her out, especially since she's a bit unusual and exotic. She may also have the men from her own people-group wanting to marry her, too, which could add to the ego if ego is an issue for her. And those guys may not be able to get white women, or their mommas want them to marry their own people-group. A pretty girl in Asia isn't exotic or unusual in her own country.

You see in many countries like Singapore you lose money if you go over there with your Australian money, they are higher on the currency pole. And even other modern countries like Japan or Hong Kong, there is no practical incentive for them financially.

I don't know about Hong Kong, but Singaporean women can be rather career oriented. The government has promoted initiatives to try to get their young people to marry to reproduce the population. Men will pay matchmakers to match them up with women from Vietnam or mainland China to get wives. It's just hard to date and marry there. It's not a heavily marriage-oriented culture like it's neighbors in the developing world. Japan has low marriage rates, and lots of nerdy guys who have little digital virtual girlfriends. That have an industry for hugging a girl and pretending she's your girlfriend, and all kinds of artificial substitutes for relationships. It's not a big marriage culture.

If you meet a girl from a marriage-oriented culture, it may be easier to marry. I know people who've wanted to marry who spent years of their life dating someone who it turns out wasn't interested. Some of those Asians, I'm thinking Indonesians and Filippinas, think of marriage when they date. And they tend to be traditional about women knowing how to or learning to cook.

Something else to think about is that western girls learn these morals about sex: 'no means no', 'I can do whatever I want with my body,' and 'use a condom.' That's the kind of sexual morality they learn. Some Asian women pick up from the older women that a married woman is supposed to meet her husband's sexual needs, please her man, etc. If you marry a woman whose only sexual ethic is 'no means no' and she doesn't feel 'in the mood', she may scowl at you and get angry if you try to persuade her for a little attention. It is better if she's been raised to think of taking good care of you as her duty. Duty sounds unsexy, but it can effect her thinking and actions. When you marry, you can expend quite a bit of effort getting your own wife in the sack. If you can decrease that effort and spend more effort actually in the sack, then you'll probably have a funner time of it.

But going to Thailand, Philippines, Poor parts of China, Indonesia etc and looking for an Asian wife is just silly as their incentive is not what you think, most of them don't like you for who you are, they have other reasons for being friendly to you.[/quote]

Why is it that its only poor women from poor Asian countries who are interested in foreign/white men?

How come women from rich families don't seem to give a shit about white skin, pointy nose and almost never get married to a white man? Dont they watch the same Hollywood movies and series as their poor counterparts

You would be naive to think money and finances are not main incentive for these girls otherwise we would see western men doing well in Japan, Singapore, Korea, Australia(plenty of Asians in Oz yet not easy to pick up)

These poor girls are trading their youth and beauty for money and stable life, of course there is more to it but this is the main thing. Im not blaming them, just stating

Banano wrote:Why is it that its only poor women from poor Asian countries who are interested in foreign/white men?

It isn't, or at least it wasn't. In recent history it was perfectly common for middle class Asian females to marry educated white men of modest means. The reason this may have declined is the realization that the majority of white men may be screwed by the system now, no matter what their personal qualities.

Banano wrote:Why is it that its only poor women from poor Asian countries who are interested in foreign/white men?

How come women from rich families don't seem to give a shit about white skin, pointy nose and almost never get married to a white man? Dont they watch the same Hollywood movies and series as their poor counterparts

You would be naive to think money and finances are not main incentive for these girls otherwise we would see western men doing well in Japan, Singapore, Korea, Australia(plenty of Asians in Oz yet not easy to pick up)

These poor girls are trading their youth and beauty for money and stable life, of course there is more to it but this is the main thing. Im not blaming them, just stating

Poor and/or exotic (native featured) women in the Philippines tend to be relatively much easier for a white guy or any foreign guy to attract because such girls are more desperate and have fewer options. What you often see is westerners who have limited time visit the Philippines and just scoop up one of these types for fun or even a serious relationship which is often continued long-distance style when he returns to his country.

Middle class girls are not desperate unless maybe they are unattractive or a single mom. Many of them are very cautious and throw a lot of tests to whomever tries to court them. They understand that they do have options and can pick and choose so they are gonna tend to make the guys going for them jump through a lot of hoops. Many of them would like a western guy too. Some would even prefer one. But not many western guys around longer term who will seek out and court such girls. So the tendency is to see western guys with the more desperate girls.

Also, consider that the middle class and above girls who already have some Spanish or Chinese blood in their genetics don't gain as much for their future kids by pairing with a western guy as the purely Malay girls do.

The problem is, western guys who come to Asia tend to think in a binary fashion - either the girls are gonna be crazy about me and throw themselves at me OR ELSE they are not interested at all and only wanna date local guys. So these guys naturally gravitate to the local girls who make a big deal of their pointy noses and white skin. Inevitably, those girls tend to be more poorer, more desperate, and native looking. Do you honestly imagine that a decent looking young middle class girl is gonna be that easy to impress? Yes, some of them may very much appreciate the look of an attractive white guy. Also, some of the more urbanized ones are into casual encounters with such guys. But if you wanna fancy yourself as a rock star ala Will N. Dowd, stick to desperate ones and you'll probably be ok.

Banano wrote:Why is it that its only poor women from poor Asian countries who are interested in foreign/white men?
.....
otherwise we would see Western men doing well in Japan, Singapore, Korea...

There are Western men doing well in Japan and Singapore etc. - I am living in Japan since over 30 years.

About seeking a wife from another country, you should ask the Western man first what are HIS intentions? Does he want to move over to Asia, even to 3rd world countries, is he able to earn enough money to do so?

Or does he prefer to bring the foreign woman back to his own country?

This is a very important question, as you cannot just live here and there, you must decide what to do in future.

As a fact many young men from Western countries are running out of money when trying to settle down in a 3rd world country with a local girl.

On the other side, many Asian women are not much willing to relocate and prefer to live in their native place with their relatives - it's not only about money, for example climate also plays a major role.

How is his communication level with the foreign girl? Can he speak her language?

Living standards in Asia are often underestimated by Western foreigners, Thailand is NOT such a cheap place and Thai people are not so poor. It's a country fine for long-stay retirement with income from abroad, but not easy to earn money locally as a foreign man.

Medical care is free for all Thai citizens and poverty line of its population is only 12 % with 96% of all children receiving regular education in schools.

My personal opinion is if you are looking for a foreign wife, regardless from rich or poor countries, consider to live in her country. Do not bring her back to USA or Europe.

.

The reason I'm on this site because it's legit I'm in Australia , and the women here have ridiculous standards , also they just want validation and flirt when they have boyfriends , traveling is the best way to meet people and a great experience , I would much prefer a foreign wife , I have had Alot of girls in my life , and daiting was easy before social media took over , I'm 34 greek decent my dads from Cyprus , I might even find a good women there , Australia sucks western women are bad given up on women here !

Banano wrote:Why is it that its only poor women from poor Asian countries who are interested in foreign/white men?

That doesn't seem to be true in Indonesia. I worked with a white guy who my co-workers said had married an unattractive bar girl. They thought that, at the time, he was extremely good-looking. But I had a friend who was married to a an Indonesian Chinese woman whose family had owned a construction company and had expensive properties all over the city. I know of another white guy who had married a rich Indonesian. A former employer of mine was a poor white man with a doctorate with a property-rich Indonesian wife. I think most western-Indonesian marriages I knew of were between middle class Indonesians and white men. My wife's family isn't rich by any means, but she does have a college degree and so do a couple of her sisters. The boys didn't finish high school.

In Indonesia, there are different tiers of social classes. I don't know any white men who married pembantus, that is, maids, from the village. That is the bottom of the social ladder as far as economics goes. I did hear of a man in LA who married an Indonesian maid who moved to the US with the family she worked for.

My friend who married the rich Chinese Indonesian with a lot of property said her family considered native Indonesians to be lower class than themselves, so they'd intermarry with other Chinese, but considered whites to be on the same level as themselves, so they were okay with her marrying a white man.

A middle class person in Indonesia might make $150 to $200 a month or above. I haven' t been there a long time, so I don't know the salaries. I've watched 'Take Me Out-Indonesia' and one woman a couple of years ago said she needed about 2 million rupiah a month. I think that's about $250 or something like that. Some of them say they like a man whose 'established.' And some girls talk about wanting to date a man who is a businessman/business owner or a doctor.

How come women from rich families don't seem to give a shit about white skin, pointy nose and almost never get married to a white man? Dont they watch the same Hollywood movies and series as their poor counterparts

In Indonesia, some Indonesians have 'hidung mancung'-- or pointy noses. They just don't protrude as much as western noses. Some people have Dutch blood, but even among the local ethnic stock, there are flat noses, and 'pointy' noses. There are also a variety of shades of skin. White people have certain (exaggerated) characteristics that are present among native Indonesians.

I wasn't in Korea as long, but I don't remember them saying anything about pointy noses being attractive. I don't know if they have genes for this among ethnic Koreans anyway. Some Indonesians do. But I think Koreans don't really like the double eye-lid ('squinty') feature. I've heard of Japanese having this removed surgically. I suspect some Koreans have, too.

You would be naive to think money and finances are not main incentive for these girls otherwise we would see western men doing well in Japan, Singapore, Korea, Australia(plenty of Asians in Oz yet not easy to pick up)

Japanese are already light skinned, usually. If Filippino or Indonesian culture think certain kinds of noses are attractive, that doesn't mean that the Japanese will share the same nuances of belief in regard to what is attractive.

These poor girls are trading their youth and beauty for money and stable life, of course there is more to it but this is the main thing. Im not blaming them, just stating

It happens in the US, too. And it probably happened more in the past. We are dealing with women now who have college degrees who have been taught to value career. Women still want to be with men who make more money than they do, even in the US. But if you go to a more traditional culture where they think the man is supposed to be the provider, even if a lot of women work, they emphasize that more in marriage partners.

American women hear on TV about 'falling in love' and they'll date a guy they consider good-looking and cool. But the emphasis as far as marriage is concerned is 'you fall in love and get married.' But you can fall in love with someone who would make a terrible spouse. And you could fall in love with someone who can't provide for you. In Indonesia, they say if you 'cocok' you can get married. 'Cocok' means fit well together, to be a good match.

I'm just one more person who agrees that bringing your woman back to the West is like going back to prison once you have found someone to be your inmate. I definitely see my future in the Orient. I'm not asking for much in a wife. I just need someone who's sweet, kind, caring, understands me and takes care of me. She should also have some intellectual common ground with me. In terms of looks I'm not that picky, I go for pretty / decently attractive, not hot.

Here's a Bao3niang meet that didn't go so wall :/

http://shanghaiist.com/2015/07/24/watch ... on_str.php

That's a very oversimplified view of how women are. It's like you put women into a little box of your own making. Anything they do will only confirm what you already believe, cause you aren't even open to the possibility that a non-wealthy woman could be a genuine person. That's actually kinda sad that you think that way. It is true that many people will use you for money. It is not true that because they are poor, that they only want men due to the relative difference in wealth.

Just don't act like a desperate sucker who leads with his wallet. If you lead with your wallet and attempt to buy love, then you will get taken. Make things clear that things are about you, not your money. You'll know if she's a gold digger, cause she will make constant references to her lack of money, her bills, or other financial needs.

Just want to point out that some people think that when their asian girl has university degree and job that she is automaticly middle class even though her salary doesnt exceed $500 per month. Asia is full of so called educated people with degrees, nothing special about it, these women still need Joe the Plumber to survive and live comfortable life.
Any westrner marrying such a women is marrying down for obvious reasons.

There are few exceptions but women will hardly marry down or someone equal to her.

I had many Thai and Chinese women explain to me they looked for a Western guy for the following reasons:

1. The local guys were cheaters (especially Thai men)
2. There were few educated men left to date - they don't marry down (in Thailand more women get a college degree than men)
3. They wanted to try something different after a disappointment in their own country (same as us)
4. They wanted to have mix-race babies (very popular, considered more attractive and smart)
5. They are attracted to the look of caucasian men (white fever LOL)
6. Western guys seem more caring and gentle

Notice immigrating to a Western country was not on their list, and for many, less desirable than living in their native country.

You seem to have a lack of trust in Asian women online. Unfortunately the obvious money seekers and scammers have tarnished their reputation, but the Real women in these countries are simply awesome.

The simplest answer I give when someone says "you shouldn't marry a woman from a 3rd world country" is - then by all means don't. It's certainly no sweat off my nose.

OTOH, as someone who actually has married a Filipina I would add:

I know at least 100 Fil-Am couples in my city, all of whom are successfully married and seem happy. Of course happiness is a subjective judgment: maybe she is happy with her improved lifestyle and he is happy at the daily incredible sex he gets from a slender and hot young girl

OK I do know one guy who divorced his Filipina wife but he's a bit of a dumbass, and she was a former bar girl. He eventually married another Filipina who is so sweet and so hot it's not to be believed.

And to state what seems obvious, anyone who thinks most Western wives aren't interested in money and status is delusional. Try losing your job and going on unemployment and see how she reacts