Why do Americans hate their children? And vice versa
Posted: October 4th, 2015, 8:00 am
One thing I have noticed is that there generally is a very hostile relationship between American parents and their children (young or adult). Why is this so? The extent and the range of the hostility is anomalous among other developed countries.
A study found that the USA was a leader in tension between parents and children: http://www.livescience.com/6766-leader- ... rents.html
Here is a popular forum for children of American parents to voice their dissatisfaction with their parents' behaviors: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/ It seems to be an exclusively American audience that participates.
Another interesting phenomenon is the callousness parents treat their children with respect to living at home. A "get the hell out when you're 18 years old" belief prevails, despite the realities of the poor economy. If the children do not leave, then they are charged rent, which to me, as a non-American, seems perverse. A parental and nurturing relation has become a profit seeking/consumer relation. In that case, there is no room for it to be anything but hostile. This is not the case elsewhere where multi-generational families and real relationships between family members is the norm.
You are charging your own child money to live in their own home? Why not ask for a bill for anything you have invested in them until then, including time spent in the womb, if that is the attitude: Your life is merely an inconvenient expense.
It seems totally bereft of love, and I think that is reflected in the behaviors of American people today: distrusting, cold, withdrawn. They do not know real warmth and are afraid to offer it to another, for fear of being hurt. It's not a language they speak. It's not for no reason that social dysfunction is at an all time high with various escapisms and addictions and people have an average of a mere 2 'confidants' (http://www.livescience.com/16879-close- ... today.html). If the first major relationship in your life which conditions all your other future relationships is malformed, then how could any other relationship be otherwise?
It also seems to prefigure the relationship children will have with their parents once they reach old age: throw them in a nursing home (or worse), and forget about them until they die. But who can blame them at that point? The relationship had been totally chiseled away.
It also explains the strange modern 'movements' that seem wholly American in participation. Here I am talking about childfree and antinatalist movements which derogatorily refer to people who have children as "breeders". Can you imagine an Italian grandma telling her granddaughter to avoid marriage and spit on children? It seems a totally warped perspective exclusive to America. Here is the childfree forum: https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/
In both perspectives, it seems the actors have become so fully merged with the consumption/consumer identity.
Parents: your children are an expensive resource, so treat them as a problem following the "out of sight, out of mind" rule.
Children: the same applies when their parents' health declines. "Out of sight, out of mind"
A study found that the USA was a leader in tension between parents and children: http://www.livescience.com/6766-leader- ... rents.html
Here is a popular forum for children of American parents to voice their dissatisfaction with their parents' behaviors: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/ It seems to be an exclusively American audience that participates.
Another interesting phenomenon is the callousness parents treat their children with respect to living at home. A "get the hell out when you're 18 years old" belief prevails, despite the realities of the poor economy. If the children do not leave, then they are charged rent, which to me, as a non-American, seems perverse. A parental and nurturing relation has become a profit seeking/consumer relation. In that case, there is no room for it to be anything but hostile. This is not the case elsewhere where multi-generational families and real relationships between family members is the norm.
You are charging your own child money to live in their own home? Why not ask for a bill for anything you have invested in them until then, including time spent in the womb, if that is the attitude: Your life is merely an inconvenient expense.
It seems totally bereft of love, and I think that is reflected in the behaviors of American people today: distrusting, cold, withdrawn. They do not know real warmth and are afraid to offer it to another, for fear of being hurt. It's not a language they speak. It's not for no reason that social dysfunction is at an all time high with various escapisms and addictions and people have an average of a mere 2 'confidants' (http://www.livescience.com/16879-close- ... today.html). If the first major relationship in your life which conditions all your other future relationships is malformed, then how could any other relationship be otherwise?
It also seems to prefigure the relationship children will have with their parents once they reach old age: throw them in a nursing home (or worse), and forget about them until they die. But who can blame them at that point? The relationship had been totally chiseled away.
It also explains the strange modern 'movements' that seem wholly American in participation. Here I am talking about childfree and antinatalist movements which derogatorily refer to people who have children as "breeders". Can you imagine an Italian grandma telling her granddaughter to avoid marriage and spit on children? It seems a totally warped perspective exclusive to America. Here is the childfree forum: https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/
In both perspectives, it seems the actors have become so fully merged with the consumption/consumer identity.
Parents: your children are an expensive resource, so treat them as a problem following the "out of sight, out of mind" rule.
Children: the same applies when their parents' health declines. "Out of sight, out of mind"