I am surprised about the amount of black TFLers on youtube

[MrMan]

MrMan. Certain men think they are wise and are not. They are always giving advice but should remain silent. They don't even know how much wisdom they lack because they are wise in their own eyes.

Someone who has limited experience and very little knowledge should not go around giving advice.

Why don't you look in the mirror and read that post, then? There is no need for you to seek out strife here. I don't get you sometimes.

If a man has only ever gotten one woman in his life, does it make sense that he should give advice to someone who has picked up more than one? If a man has only ever had one woman how can he give advice to a man who has had more than him?

Does it make sense for a man who has earned only one dollar to give advice on how to earn money to a man who has earned much more than one dollar?

How many women have you married? I've dated other women before I got married. If you are looking to seduce women you aren't married to, I don't have any experience doing that. I thought your objective was to find one wife. If I understand your past posts right, you have zero wives. I have one.

Does it make sense for a man who heavily implies that his wife has problems with submitting to him to give advice on how to find a submissive woman?

Women are people. My wife submits to me, but there have been times she's struggled with it. What about you? Do you ever struggle with anything? Are you perfectly submissive to God, all the time... without it being a bit of a struggle for you? By struggling I don't mean it has to be something like giving up getting drunk or looking at porn. It could also be something like spending less time or no time watching TV so you could pray, or being kind to someone you don't care for or who has done you wrong in the past. If you thought about it, you'd probably realize there are some areas where you have struggled to be submissive to God.

I remember reading your post about what a submissive woman is like. Its an archetype of the submissive woman. As I recall, it sounded good. But it's an archetype. Women are people. They may mess up and not live up to your expectations. You don't marry an ideal. You marry a person, a woman who can make mistakes, get on your nerves, misunderstand your motives. You can describe the perfectly submissive woman, but you haven't gotten her. You haven't married her. If you've seen a woman like that married to some other guy, unless she's your mom or another close relative, you don't know what she's like when she's behind closed doors. She may be a submissive woman in general, but she could slip up, or she could just be submissive, but it could be hard for her at times. I think it's normal for it to be hard for women to be submissive. If women were just naturally submissive, why would the Bible have to tell them to submit to their husbands. They'd just do it. The Bible doesn't command the sky to be blue. If the clouds and smog are gone in the daytime, the sky is just blue. But it tells wives to submit because they might be tempted not to. It tells them that because they may be tempted not to be submissive.

I know this is just common sense, and if someone would have told me this even as a teen, I might have said, "no duh." (It was the '80's. That's what we said back then.) But not long before I met my wife, it really hit me. If you marry a woman, you marry a real person, with flaws or weaknesses, or whatever, and you have to deal with those weaknesses and still love her. I was looking for an idealized list of things, including spiritual things, character, looks, virginity. I actually got most of those things, but the idea that I would marry a person who could fall short and love her hit home with me. I wondered, in hindsight, the Lord waited until I had the realization to find a wife. Of course, I do not know all His thinking on such matters.

I've got it pretty good, actually. The main thing my wife does that annoys me is wanting to talk when I want to read or do something else. That's not a bad thing, but it's annoying. The other thing is not pointing her arms straight up and down when she washes her face, and splashing water around. I don't know if that comes from having breasts and its a female thing, or if it comes from the Asian wet floor bathroom thing. But I digress.

If you eventually marry, and I suspect you will, you aren't going to be marrying with an idealized list of characteristics. You'll marry a woman. And she might fall short on some of your list of expectations of the idealized submissive wife, and you'll have to forgive her and move on.

As far as the idealized submissive woman goes, the husband creates the situation where the wife can submit. He can ignore the issue or create a situation where it is hard for her not to take over and she is tempted to be unsubmissive. So a lot of it is on you, on how you treat her, without being an ogre, but still providing leadership.

Trying to find an idealized archetype may not work out for you, since women do not always conform to the ideal in our mind. High standards are good, but realism and understanding are necessary, too.

It would seem to me that the person with less experience picking up women should really refrain his lips. Because for someone with near zero experience to act as if he has much more than the one he gives it to, seems like complete arrogance to me.

Are you wanting to pick up women, or find one to marry? I've got experience interacting with my wife before and while we were dating, and since, and with girls I dated beforehand. How many girls that actually asked you out that you dated turned out to be your archetypal submissive woman?

The issue I addressed was whether a woman who asks you out is as likely to have the submissive characteristics you are looking for, anyway.

Your going loggerheads with me over a topic like this is what's foolish.

[Adama]

Time for the ignore feature.

Every and any woman can ask men out. They act like it makes the woman a horrible person. Any and every woman can do this. It is not gender role reversal. It is women following up on their passion. They seduce themselves. The man must do nothing except wait for her. She will do it unless she's too insecure. Women are not as weak as some believe. They are good when it comes to pursuit.

Maybe the problem is that some men have never had enough women chase after them or the ones who did were unattractive. That's not my problem.

MrMan please do not write to me ever again. I'm disturbed by the words and the counsel that I hear.

[Adama]

As far as I can tell women pursuing after the man is nearly a universal trait. If they want you and you're able to have a conversation the woman will do it.

I've never had success asking out women. But I've had women ask me. Guess which one yields automatic success. No brainer really. Just the man needs to get out of his own way. Let her do it.

And I've always experienced that if a woman is throwing hints but won't ask me out it really is because she's out for attention. This cuts out most flakes. Exception being if she's very insecure.

Now if a man wants to fornicate with the whole world then this is not the way. But if he wants a woman who wants him then there's no better way, in my opinion.

[Adama]

In fact, in retrospect, the ones who were sitting back and waiting for me to do it seemed the most evil. These were th3 ones who gave all signs but had boyfriends, or they were telling me the man they were with was only a friend or a brother.

Reality really is the opposite of what we've been taught. Few men can see this. That's why those in deep darkness are always in opposition to the truth. It worked for them inside darkness therefore it's the only way. Nope. Just means you had to work hard when it requires zero effort.

And how many years does it take before a man realizes that the man is the prize? They elevate women by chasing them. Yet they think pursuing women makes them real men. They literally give up all their power. Thats the standard they set: that the woman's presence is more valuable than theirs. They are deceived. Not my problem they are in strong delusion. Men are kings, not women.

Give up your authority and power by bending the knee and through supplication to women. If a man is in darkness this seems good. Open your eyes. The man gives up power by asking for anything.

[Adama]

To use an example. Why would female workers give over all their money to a male pimp? Because he realizes something about the nature and dynamics of gender relations that most men can't figure out. The man is the prize and a woman will move mountains for you once you realize this.

[MrMan]

MrMan please do not write to me ever again. I'm disturbed by the words and the counsel that I hear.

I don't roll like that. If you post on a public forum I'm participating in and I really want to comment, I will.

It's strange my counsel disturbs you considering the other stuff that gets posted on this forum.

[Adama]

Reminds me of the time I was listening to this Republican woman who was against welfare. And in the same breath she says she and her family used to be on welfare.

Some people really lack understanding.

[Adama]

I've thought about it some more, and I received instruction.

Contrarian Expatriate, I know what you are talking about regarding some of the obese women. They can sometimes be very aggressive and could possibly be likened to a bull in a china shop or a locomotive in the way they flirt, in that, they really don't care if you are interested or not, and they are going to knock you over, and then keep on coming.

This is not what I am talking about. Most women are extremely suave and gentle. They'll just insert the question in there in normal conversation, and it isn't a big deal to them. In fact, it is downright smooth.

Or the woman will continually signal her availability. She isn't playing at flirting. She is talking about how she doesn't have a boyfriend. She's outright stating she doesn't have a man, hoping the man she's saying it in front of or to will get the hint that she's interested in him. (Just like some of the ones who are definitely not interested are going to go out of their way to tell a man right away that she has a man, and is therefore unavailable, so stay away.)

Or she will start talking about things people do in the bedroom.

Note also that none of these women are wasting their time flipping their hair or winking with their eyes or batting their eyelashes. They are trying to get the man, not playing like she's Marilyn Monroe.

If she wants you, she's coming to get you. The man just has to get out of the way. Each time I had success, I didn't do anything, because I didn't know what was going on. The woman did all the work. All you got to do is be able to recognize or let her sweep you off your feet.

Sounds backward but the woman really does all the work. Because these things happened without me realizing or planning. It was always them. I couldn't plan those things if I wanted to. And I wouldn't know how to plan them.

[Adama]

I'm talking about a woman who really likes you and wants you. Not women who are just on the carousel, and who will be with another man tomorrow. Totally different scenario, or at least a completely different mode.

Naturally the ones who really think they are special do not belong to this group of female chasers. That may be because so many men have insisted that they must chase after them. In essence, you might say that men chasing women spoils them, and then those women become more or less useless as far as initiation.

I also don't understand the distinction among women based upon looks. Nobody can say that women who are 10s, 9s, 8s, and 7s all follow only one mode of operation. It could be that some women are proactive and others sit back. I would wager that the ones who sit back are more spoiled than the ones who will chase. But that's just me.