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The general rule is to find what someone hates and you’ll get to the truth. If someone dislikes a person for having a lot of money? They are likely broke. If they hate someone for having a beautiful wife/girlfriend? They struggle at dating. If they believe they deserve something for nothing? They likely lived a privileged life where everything was historically given to them. If you follow the hate… you’ll find exactly what is going on with the person on the inside.
Unfortunate Consequence of Hate: The unfortunate consequence of people with insecurity in any area of life… Is they will never fix their underlying issues. You’d be surprised to see the number of people in their 40s/50s with deep insecurity issues in certain areas (not well rounded). This could be dating, money, attention… anything. Essentially, they miss out on an enormous section of life and go through till the bitter end thinking that is “how life is” because it would kill their ego to know it wasn’t so.
Use it to Your Advantage: With the two unfortunate parts out of the way, you know exactly what we’re going to say… “Take advantage of this”. If you know a person struggles in topic A your best course of action is to agree with their struggles in topic A. You’re not going to win any points by telling him how to fix his situation. Why? Well everyone is a genius in every topic (make this an assumption every time you meet a new person).
This adjustment is quite difficult to make. The typical gut reaction is to say “oh I know this well let me help you” (assuming you do). By doing this the other person will feel even more insecure and dislike you immediately. You’re better off doing the smile, nod and agree approach. You can then quickly change the subject to something more amicable and potentially change the interaction into something positive. If they specifically ask you for advice, then you can absolutely give it to them… Otherwise you’ve wasted your own time and started a new interaction off on the wrong foot.
Once You See the Truth….
Once you see the truth you cannot un-see it. That is one of the best and worst things. It is the best thing for you long-term and will likely be a painful experience once you learn a new fact. Why is this an important concept? Well you’ll have to become critical of the things you dislike. Do you actually dislike a specific person, activity or group or is it a reflection of something you lack on the inside. Once you’ve already learned the harsh truths you’ll find that you no longer dislike the vast majority of people! As we’ve stated numerous times in the past, if someone can change your emotions… you’ve already lost because it means you value their opinion. If you really didn’t care you’d ignore it.
Once you learn the truth however, your income goes up, your spending becomes more efficient and you get to practice the “smile and nod” approach until it becomes second nature.