Happier Abroad Forum Community

Who here lives overseas?

I was just curious who here actually lives overseas and where?

Or if you are planning to where would you like to live?

I have lived in Jakarta, Indonesia for 4 years, before I lived in the Middle East


~James

I live in the US but want to visit the Ukraine someday. I keep hearing about guys who have met a lot of women while visiting the Ukraine and want to do the same.

What was Indonesia like James? Were the girls friendly and approachable? Were they attractive? I heard they are conservative Muslims and believe in arranged marriages?

Indonesia is great – the women aren’t wearing abayas or anything, they are nice and approachable. I think they may still have arranged marriages in the villages in the jungle but the women in Jakarta are pretty modern and find their own mates.

Jakarta is known as the best kept secret in Southeast Asia amongst the expat population here


~James

James Grey wrote:Indonesia is great – the women aren’t wearing abayas or anything, they are nice and approachable. I think they may still have arranged marriages in the villages in the jungle but the women in Jakarta are pretty modern and find their own mates.

Jakarta is known as the best kept secret in Southeast Asia amongst the expat population here


~James

Are they approachable when it comes to white guys, though?

ladislav wrote:
Are they approachable when it comes to white guys, though?

Its Asia dude, take a guess… lol



~James

James Grey wrote:

ladislav wrote:
Are they approachable when it comes to white guys, though?

Its Asia dude, take a guess… lol



~James

There is Asia and there is Asia.

OK, here is my guess: it is a Muslim country, Europeans are not Muslims in the eyes of the locals, plus a girl with a white guy stands out like a sore thumb. For a decent Muslim girl to be seen with a non Muslim man must be against the Koran. Hence, my guess is : while it is OK to be seen with a man who can pass for another Indonesian ( like yourself) , it is not well accepted to be seen with a white guy who cannot. Hence, only low class girls/hookers will want to be seen with a white guy. Unless a white guy is super duper rich, he will have to contend with the dropouts of the local society. Same as in Thailand?

The Philippines is a Christian country so it is more accepted there.

In Thailand, I had two friends- one Japanese and one Malaysian and they had a great time, found great girls and got married and had families. No one made fun of them and their families. But good Thai girls would not want to be seen with me, though.

It was harder than even in Japan where you would get one hard look a month; in Thailand it was several bad looks from the people in one day. That is why most farangs in Thailand get hooked up ( pun intended) with divorcees, old, ugly, poor, border-line ( or outright) bar girls, etc. Come and have a look.

Indonesia must be kind of the same for white guys- good for sex but not for romance.

You know the saying- An elevator smells different to a midget.

ladislav wrote: It was harder than even in Japan where you would get one hard look a month; in Thailand it was several bad looks from the people in one day. That is why most farangs in Thailand get hooked up ( pun intended) with divorcees, old, ugly, poor, border-line ( or outright) bar girls, etc. Come and have a look.

A lot of this attitude comes from Thailand's own self consciousness and jaded feelings about their nightlife scene. Really sex tourism is Thailand's biggest area of denial. Middle to upper middle class Thais absolutely despise this reputation and the farang who come to patronize it. However, the lower class Thais embrace it to a certain extent because it pays the bills. It's a huge social dichotomy.

I have seen farangs who do break the mold. They don't necessarily have to be fantastically wealthy but they need to have lived in Thailand for several years and have the ability to speak the language. One of my friends here is young, handsome, and farang but he speaks Thai flawlessly and understands the culture and never breaks the traditional barriers. He has stated what you mention now Ladislav. People do give him a sore attitude sometimes and girls are wary. However a lot of that is tempered by his looks, language skills, and knowledge of the culture.

I'd say if someone resembles the typical greasy old dude on a pension/vacation then it's next to impossible to be truly respected. That's when what Ladislav says applies..you have to be incredibly loaded to even get your door halfway into Thai society.

I do think that several farang get the wrong impression when they come to Thailand. They go to places like Khao San road and see the easy part time hookers/ladyboys and then the ease of getting "dates" in places like Pattaya and various Bangkok clubs and believe it's like this all over.

I live in Manila, Philippines at the moment. I've lived in Thailand and Korea for extended periods and visited a majority of the Asian countries over the past 15 years.

I plan on staying here until early 2010 as I have a working visa until end of 09. I plan on applying to a doctoral program in the states for 2010 so if I get accepted there I will move back to the states to complete that.

If for some reason I don't get accepted I'll probably move over to teach and live in one of the eastern European countries to see how life is over there for a 30- something white Amercan guy.

I've had enough of Asia for a while; I need a change of scenery.