Other expat sites only talk about economic issues too, like jobs and buying a house overseas. This is the only one that focuses on romantic, social, sexual and psychological needs. I wonder why. Am I the only normal person?
http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/mar ... tionships/
http://www.livinginindonesiaforum.org/f ... ay.php?f=7
http://www.shanghaiexpat.com/MDForum-vi ... f-24.phtml
http://www.forumosa.com/taiwan/viewforu ... f915af48ff
Many expats discuss their love, relationship, and needs on other forums. Here's a funny example:
http://www.forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopi ... 92&t=77698
(see post #5 in thread)
They're not coming here, because they have a wide range of interests and your forum only focuses on a very narrow range of discussions. I think half the posts here is misogynistic bitching and moaning about American women, or some weird government conspiracy theory.
Most people have little interest in reading that kind of stuff after the n-th post. What you have here is your own small clique of people, like other typical American cliquish social group. This one, I think represents a small % of the population, but thinks that they represent the majority, and gets frustrated when the majority doesn't show up or chime in.
Once in a while, I find gems that Ladislav and MrS posts that's worth my time, like this one:
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/vie ... ght=#16687
If you can get more posts of that quality, I think your forum would be more popular. Or, if you want to just concentrate on the getting there and laid part, you can look at what these guys are doing:
http://www.internationalsexguide.info/f ... .php?f=274
No no no Momopi, you have things backward. Allow me to elaborate. Please factor in the points below, rather than dismiss them through cognitive dissonance.
First, the links you gave us above are all links to forums. Sure anyone can talk about anything on a forum. But I was referring to the home page of the site, or the official site content. If you go to their home pages, you will see that it's usually about economic topics, or light hearted politically correct topics. Do any of those expat sites offer hope and help to lonely dateless males in America? Do any of them inform the public that they can have a better social or dating life abroad? If so, show me, and I will admit that I'm wrong. Otherwise, my point stands.
You are completely wrong when you say this site is narrow and the other sites are broad. Nothing could be further from the truth. First of all, if you look at the topic categories on this forum, you will see that they are very broad, like the other expat forums, and cover every general topic. I modeled it after the rest.
Sure, other sites might have more categories on their main page. But this site, Happier Abroad, is primarily focused on ROMANTIC, SOCIAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL FULFILLMENT overseas. That is our MISSION.
See the executive summary for a clear statement of purpose for this site: http://www.happierabroad.com/executivesummary.php
Our Mission, is this:
1) To bring exposure to the dysfunctional anti-social culture in America that has left many lonely, isolated, alienated, insecure, depressed, empty, miserable, dateless and sexless, who are suffering in silence, making the USA one of the worst places for social life, dating and mental health. 2) To offer an overseas solution and path that will lead those afflicted to romantic, social and personal fulfillment abroad.
Momopi, I challenge you to show me any other site that brings attention to loneliness, suffering and datelessness in America, and offers going overseas as a real working solution. I bet you can't find one. Thus, my point is proven.
You see, this site focuses on TABOO TRUTHS that other sites do not dare address. For example, people in America carry around an anti-social paranoid force field around them, and people don't talk to strangers unless its business related. You can see this plainly in public. Yet you are supposed to think it's normal and not complain about it. If you have a problem, then you blame yourself, according to society. What other sites are addressing that?
Truth is often taboo. People want to hear what's politically correct. Truth can offend people. Did you know that, or are you in denial of that? The posts on this forum about American women being antisocial, where else can they post such things? Other forums will kick you off for saying such things and you will get flamed if you post them.
For example, Loris, a Belgium student, spoke here about his five years in Texas and how prudish, fake and antisocial people really were, and how they just denied it. Where else could he have posted his true feelings on such matters? On the other expat sites? I don't think so! NO WAY!
Momopi, you say you admire many of Ladislav's and Mr S's posts. Well try this then. Take some of their best posts and post them on the other expat forums. I dare you. Then you will get a learning lesson as to how much people are in denial and get defensive over certain truths. Their posts are not politically correct. They've even ADMITTED to me personally that they could not share their views, insights and advice on other forums, cause there is too much political correctness on them.
In short, this site and forum are a SAFE OUTLET for truth, and in this case certain truths of course. We all know what they are.
How can you say this site is narrow though, when you are allowed to talk about anything here, including taboo topics? On the other hand, taboo topics are not allowed on most sites. Ask Ladislav. He's been flamed on other sites, like AsianAve, for saying that Asian men should go overseas to solve their dating dilemmas. It's just not something you're supposed to say, even if it's true. See what I mean?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but there is a tendency in you toward honoring the boundaries of political correctness too. You are usually neutral, and only provide references, data, tidbits and useful information on many practical matters. You do not like to take sides, but offer neutral observations instead. That has been your pattern. But you do not admit that American women are anti-social and uncomfortable talking to strangers and that it's hard and unnatural to meet them. The other guys here all admit to that, but you take a much more neutral stance.
What this means is that there are certain things you will deny too, even if they're true, due to bias perhaps? For example, during the first time we met, when I mentioned how people in the US bond into cliques of the same race, you rationalized it away and denied it, saying that I was overgeneralizing. However, out in the parking lot, I pointed to the people walking around, who were all hanging out with people of the same race. My point was proven at point blank range, the hard evidence in front of you. We could have been in any other public place, and I could have showed you the same.
In short, because my statements were not politically correct, you rationalized it away through cognitive dissonance, rather than admit to it, despite the fact that what I claimed was apparent right in front of you in plain view. Am I correct?
Likewise, if I said that people in the US are in a bubble and don't talk to strangers unless it's business related, you might also deny it cause it's not politically correct to say that, right? However, we could go to most public places in the US and I can show you that most people are minding their own business and ignoring everyone around them. For example, see the onboard ferry photo in my introduction part 2 here: http://www.happierabroad.com/globaldating2.php
There you will see that they are in a bubble and that there are boundaries around them, as well as unspoken rules, such as "it's inappropriate to talk to strangers unless it's business related". On the other hand, when I first went to Russia in 2002, I was mesmerized that I could talk to any girl in public, and they'd be relaxed and open about it, there was NO force field or paranoia or antisociality around them. It was surreal. I thought I was dreaming. But it was REAL!
I SWEAR to that. But for some reason, something keeps you from admitting to such obvious things. Perhaps you don't know why, or you don't want to for some secret reason. But they are still true, even if you don't admit to them.
A few other points in response to your post.
Most expats are on other sites cause they are older and more established. Or they find the topics here uncomfortable. Plus, people tend to gravitate toward the most populated forum. The guys here are here cause they can express certain views that would be condemned on other sites.
You are correct that this forum's views represent only a small percentage of the population. However, let's clarify something here. Is it your position that we are a tiny minority cause the majority of single guys in the US can get dates and sex anytime they want to, and have abundant dating lives? Or that we are a minority in that we are among the few that dare to speak the truth about taboo issues, such as the horrible dating scene in America for men, the antisocial culture in America, the erosion of human relationships in America, etc. and are not in denial of it? Which is it?
I submit that it's the latter. Most single guys are not able to go out and get dates anytime they want to. They are usually dateless and suffer in silence. They distract themselves with other things, or believe in the media's hype that working and consuming makes you happy, so they tell themselves that something is wrong with them. Either way, you know as well as I do that US culture requires that you say that you are having a "great day" everyday. So if you are in pain, you have to deny it and suppress it and not show it to others. Surely you do not deny that?!
There is no doubt that there are many suffering silently in America, over loneliness, depression, emptiness, datelessness, etc. I challenge you to find one European country where so many people are lonely and dateless and have to go to PUA seminars or see therapists. I'll bet you can't. Thus there's a problem in the US, even if you don't admit to it.
Or do you honestly expect us to believe that other guys outside of this site get dates with no problems and that only we are losers who can't get any quality dates in America?
As to internationalsexguide, that is a small site. A much bigger one is worldsexguide.com. Yeah they talk about sex and prostitutes and P4P (pay for play) there. But this forum is far more intellectual in content. Or haven't you noticed? A lot of other forums contain trashy content and one liners that the posters think are funny but are very juvenile and a waste of time. For instance, in the forumosa forum thread you referenced:
http://www.forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopi ... 92&t=77698
I need a hot towel, THEN a cigarette. Lordy LORD!
Do you see lame ass one liner posts like that on this forum?
No. The content I wrote on this site is intellectual in nature and attracts intellectual types. Most people are not intellectuals, and that's one reason at least why this site doesn't have majority appeal.
I've talked to a lot of expats in the Philippines and during the conversation when I bring up how anti-social America is and how horrible the dating scene is there, they all say "OH YEAH!" as if they agree wholeheartedly. They all admit to that. So how do you explain that, in light of the fact that this site only attracts a minority crowd?
You are an adult, and you know that there are certain truths that are inappropriate and taboo to talk about, and most people do not violate this and so they do not talk about it. It's one of those unspoken rules, like in tennis mixed doubles you are supposed to serve softer serves to the female player on the other side, and how in the US, when you compare men and women publicly, you MUST ALWAYS conclude something that is more favorable to the women. Or how most people download songs from the internet through filesharing programs, but they will not say it publicly cause it's illegal and condemned. These are unspoken rules that people know.
Some of these rules are harmless and don't need to be discussed. But others are harmful, lead to loneliness, depression, deprivation and datelessness, resulting in suffering for many. These need to be addressed and given a solution to. THIS SITE does that, the other expat sites don't. If you can provide proof that I'm wrong, show it and I will apologize. Otherwise, my point STANDS.
I hope you will factor in what I've said above, and agree that they contain degrees of truths at least, rather than ignore it through cognitive dissonance, which is subjective and emotional, not logical.