Why are there so many negative people on forums in general?

[mattyman]

No matter what you post, whatever forum, whatever it's about, whatever topic, there are always people desperate for a way to attack the OP. This isn’t about this forum or posts I’ve made, but as a third person. I want to get to the bottom of what the motives are and why people do it. I see no benefit.

What I've noticed on many online forums is that people tend to home-in on one word, then use it as a way to attack the poster and ignore their original question, take it off-topic.

I've also noticed that ad-hominem is used very often; finding a way to attack the poster that's not related to what they've said in the OP or the discussion in general. What is the motive? What do people stand to gain?

There's a good deal of positive stuff on this site (original articles by Winston, many trip reports, language learning experiences etc.), trouble is, there's so many assholes that have nothing better to do but to attack & belittle people, albeit a small minority.

I think what's been killing-off so many message boards in recent years is a) being under-moderated (being taken-over by bullies & authoritarian) and b) being over-moderated (being hyper-pc and authoritarian).

Seriously, why are there so many negative people who go out of their way to attack other people? To make themselves feel better? To try and impress people?

Without free speech I wouldn't be able to say this.

[Neo]

You still haven't figured it out? Maybe you are a good person.

But I tell you, the whole attacking people for no reason is why I don't bother to deal with people too much, except for basic politeness and greetings.

[HappyGuy]

Seriously, why are there so many negative people who go out of their way to attack other people? To make themselves feel better? To try and impress people?

I'm not sure but this video from Max Igan tries to explain it

June 17, 2020
Most People Don't Realize It's Happening! [IMPORTANT]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbEJxsu8xjY
https://www.bitchute.com/video/NC1zwQuvn16Y/

[yick]

You still haven't figured it out? Maybe you are a good person.

No, he is a bit of a twat as well.

[yick]

Negative people? You came onto this forum stating how COVID and the lockdown has 'ruined your life' and called people on here beastly names because they wouldn't debate your bullshit, f**k off you old woman.

[Yohan]

No matter what you post, whatever forum, whatever it's about, whatever topic, there are always people desperate for a way to attack the OP
......
Seriously, why are there so many negative people who go out of their way to attack other people? To make themselves feel better? To try and impress people?

Without free speech I wouldn't be able to say this.

Free speech is one side, but to offer nothing else but troll comments is a different matter and has nothing to do with 'free speech'.

This forum HA has a moderation issue, there is no clear policy about what is free speech and what is merely trolling and bothering other members.

For example, PAG and sockpuppets are still around, NEVER contributing anything to this forum, never posting reasonable comments...
I do not see such 'comments' as 'free speech'.

[mattyman]

RE Yohan.

A case in point; that member 'Yick' doesn't really have much to contribute but often tries to derail topics, insult the original poster. Classic case. I haven't seen much evidence of contribution to existing discussion (beyond ad-hominem attacking other members or regurgitating limiting beliefs) nor of starting many threads. Just look at his replies on this thread. Personally if this was my website I'd be giving him warnings.

It's prolly just the power of anonymity trip. Nothing to be concerned about.

[yick]

Whereas this actual thread you started is an indirect attack on various unnamed posters that you are too much of a chickenshit to name and now you are doing your usual feminine 'playing the victim' card.

Are you not anonymous as well?

[Yohan]

RE Yohan.

A case in point; that member 'Yick' doesn't really have much to contribute but often tries to derail topics, insult the original poster. Classic case. I haven't seen much evidence of contribution to existing discussion (beyond ad-hominem attacking other members or regurgitating limiting beliefs) nor of starting many threads. Just look at his replies on this thread. Personally if this was my website I'd be giving him warnings.
It's prolly just the power of anonymity trip. Nothing to be concerned about.

I do not remember that I ever had any dispute with Yick, he never made any insulting comments against me so far.
For example his reply to my comment in this thread is very reasonable....

viewtopic.php?style=1&f=41&t=43477

or this one after my comment

viewtopic.php?style=1&f=2&t=43512

or these two comments, which do not refer to me, obviously just written accidentally after my posting

viewtopic.php?style=1&f=3&t=35794&p=354443#p354443

or this recent one, after my comment as reply to Mercury

viewtopic.php?style=1&f=4&t=43508

Such replies are very reasonable - what is wrong with them?
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Compare that with any comment from PAG + sockpuppets....which I consider as trolling:
One-liners with culturewhiz link, some stupid pictures, some distorted English drivel etc...

---------------------

About anonymity - many people using this forum are anonymous commenters and prefer to continue anonymously. So far I met only two members personally, one in Japan, and one in Thailand.

About Yick and also about yourself, I don't know who you are and should we ever pass nearby if you are willing to meet me....and why not.

I have no issues so far - neither with you nor with Yick.

[MarcosZeitola]

Whereas this actual thread you started is an indirect attack on various unnamed posters that you are too much of a chickenshit to name and now you are doing your usual feminine 'playing the victim' card.

Are you not anonymous as well?

Well he's right, isn't he? There are a LOT of posters on this forum who do lack a lot of essential things a man needs to be happy:

1. They have no relationships, get no sex unless paid for
2. They have no rewarding careers or interesting professions, even hobbies
3. They do not travel, and bitch and whine on the internet
4. Few of them have families of their own; most appear to be genetic dead-ends

It's kind of getting old to see people like 'Tamingstrange' and his ilk bemoan the sorry state of their existence, yet do absolutely nothing to improve it. So, yes, negative people aplenty. It's kind of by design. Those who succeed, fade away. Lose interest. HappierAbroad as a community can only thrive and continue to generate posts if people whine, bitch and moan together. It's negative, kind of by design. Wasn't always that way judging by old posts from people who traveled the world, having adventures, flings, fun... but it sure became that way when most of those who actually DO SHIT moved away or got disinterested in posting a lot.

[mattyman]

^There's more of the negativity.

There's not much

"1. They have no relationships, get no sex unless paid for"
Isn't that what a lot of people are looking for? Most of us are not looking to be insulted for not having those things.

@ Marcos

you sound to me like a bit of a snob. Your reply looks like sneering at people in the list you describe rather than being supportive. Hence it's negativity. There's absolutely NOTHING constructive said in your reply. It sounds like it was deliberately made to create a reaction, to provoke a reaction. You ain't getting it. All trolls and bullies are after reactions.

If you are 'Happier abroad', why don't you share ways people can get the things you're on your high horse about?.

@ marcos; I've written-down what you've written. Think before you speak.

Back to the original question regarding moderation. Hope Winston sees. It's not your forum, it's Winston's.

[yick]

Marcos (and I...) might be 'snobs' but we have the lives we want whereas you don't.

What you are asking for is the impossible, for the world to change around what you want, for women and their mindset to change and it is never ever going to change and if it does, it won't be catered around you and your whims.

Most people realise it is a lot easier to change themselves than the situation, that is the only force of real change you really have, the rest of it is out of your control.

You want women not to judge you on the money you earn and the type of work you do when this is what they do all the time you want to change things that will never be changed and you are never going to be that catalyst of change, anyway.

You seem to have a plan of what you want and where you want to live, then do it, who do you need permission off?

Didn't you end up in Spain but decided to return to the UK? Whose fault is that? You make your own decisions. These things are what you need to own and no-one is stopping you from going back to Spain.

Do you have a degree? If you do, you can still live and work in Spain even in this time of Brexit - so make a plan, if you don't have a degree - go and get one, you seem like a bright guy from your writings so getting a degree isn't beyond your capabilities - but if you sit there and whine like a whipped dog in a room full of men then you're not going to get much tea and sympathy.

We all have to work out our path towards victory, it wasn't easy for me, I doubt it was easy for Marcos or Winston or anyone else but the only person who is responsible for getting what they want or at least getting their share is you! Nobody cares if you stay in Yeovil for the rest of your life without ever having girlfriends and a social life.

Make a plan, if it takes a few years then so be it, you have been a member of this forum for over a decade now, if you really wanted to, you could be 'happier abroad' now if you really wanted to, that you aren't - how is it anyone's fault except yours?