Happier Abroad Forum Community

I would like to create this topic in response to one of the Winston's postulates that caught my attention and made me think pretty hard.

In one of his posts Winston said this - "Why change your attitude about a place that makes you unhappy if you can just change the place and be happy?"

I thought this was pretty interesting. A deep notion worth exploring further. After giving it some thought I came up with my own theory. Personally, to me, it's a yes and no kind of a statement, and I think it can work in two different ways:

1. One thing is to be happy with your new place because of how you were made to feel there, which has nothing to do with the new place itself, but rather with your current emotional state, which, in turn, is heavily dependent on your personal circumstances and other outside factors, mostly material and external, rarely permanent and quite fickle. This proves Winston wrong.

2. Another thing is to be happy because you actually love your new place for what it is, regardless of how you were made to feel there, or how the locals treat you, or anything else for that matter. This proves Winston right.

OK, so now let's look at scenario number one. Take a forum member Kangarunner for example. He hated America and his homestate of Tennessee, so he did exactly what Winston suggests and changed his environment, which Kangarunner assures made him happier. But, I don't think it's completely true though. I don't think it's the new place itself that made him happier, but rather how he was made to feel in this new place, which is what really made him happier. After all, if Kangarunner just wanted a year-round nice weather, modern architecture, an ocean and the beaches, he could've just moved to Miami. He didn't have to go all the way to Asia. Now Kangarunner is supposedly "happy". Well, I think he's only happy in Asia because he's a white American expat with US dollars. Which is why the locals are willing to smile, listen to his bullshit, and open their legs for him. Now, imagine that Kangarunner starts leading the real life of a local Asian resident. He gets a regular job for very low money, moves into a dilapidated shit shack, and loses his appeal of a cool western explorer, effectively turning into a poor Asian dreg, just trying to survive. How long will his love for Asia last then? How many people will be interested in him still? How long until poverty and loneliness induced misery/depression sets in? How long until the beaches and exotic surroundings become boring and mundane? How long until he starts to hate his new place? My guess not too long because there will be nothing for him to gain from this new place anymore. His feelings will change and the changes in his attitude towards Asia will soon follow.

Now, let's take a look at scenario number two. For example, we have an elderly Russian man who lived in another country for many years, but he's missing Russia and goes back there. Now, what will he be gaining by moving back to Russia? Not much, really. Good weather and sunny beaches? No. Exotic surroundings? No. Nice architecture? No, unless you like commie blocks. Cleanliness? No. Tons of young pu ssy? No. Friendly people? No. Higher status? No. Good money/career opportunities? No. Low crime? No. Quality air/water? No. Freedom/Democracy? No. Great economy? No. Good healthcare? No. So why is he moving back there? Because it's his home. Because it's his people, his culture, his roots, his history, his everything. Because he loves Russia no matter how good or bad it is. Because nothing will ever change his attitude and make him feel any different about it regardless of his personal circumstances. The superficial, external things like the beaches and da bitches that make Kangarunner feel good about his new place are of low importance to the Russian man. He wasn't made to feel like a million dollars in Russia, but he's still happy and he still loves his country no matter what. What makes him happy is completely immaterial because his happiness and peace are fully internal in nature. Whatever happens to him, good or bad, he's still happy to be there. Period. And this was an example of a true happiness that was brought on by changing ones place the way it genuinely supposed to work in my opinion.

Which scenario is YOU? My guess it's the first one.

Mine is the first scenario - I am British and there are nice places in the UK without the social problems of the other 75% of the shitehole and could I be happy there? Probably though the weather is a big thing but there are some nice places in the UK - now, Mombasa in Kenya has it all for me, beaches, sun, cost of living, nice weather, dateable women (for me, personally) they speak English etc and I would prefer to live there than a nice part of England but is Kenya better than England overall and I would say no but because Mombasa in Kenya ticks enough boxes for me I prefer it.

Like you said, and you're right, you pick the places that make you feel good but of course the monetary factor is a big part of it, in Latin America, I am middle class and in the UK I am working class and the working classes in the UK and the US are struggling. I never struggle anytime I go to Latin America but that is the way it is for me at the moment.

If I was a billionaire, I would probably prefer Hawaii to Thailand but I am not a billionaire but Hawaii has all the things I like but I am priced out, the great thing about today and it is really the first time working class men have had this kind of choice is that we can go to a lot of places for not much money. Dateless in your hometown? Well, go to Thailand! 50 years ago, men were labelled 'bachelors' and they died never knowing a woman, these days, there is no excuse not to know a woman - you can go to Thailand or the Philippines and you will get women.

I admire Kangarunner because despite his social limitations, he got off his arse and went out there and found what he wanted because it was out there all along - he decided one day he wanted more than being frightened of change. My great love is the surf, the beach, the sun but that would never be found in the UK - I had to leave because like you said - how that makes me feel is beneficial for me in all aspects of my life. I was on the Pacific Coast just a month ago and I always had the urge to eat ceviche because I could smell the salty air of the sea and the constant hot and sunny days so even with that change - I was eating better, feeling better and healthier.

Thank you for your honesty, yick.

yick wrote: ↑

March 2nd, 2025, 3:25 am

now, Mombasa in Kenya has it all for me, beaches, sun, cost of living, nice weather, dateable women (for me, personally) they speak English etc and I would prefer to live there than a nice part of England but is Kenya better than England overall and I would say no but because Mombasa in Kenya ticks enough boxes for me I prefer it.

OK, cool, I got you and I'm really happy for you. But imagine the beautiful Mombasa gets taken over by some rebels and now everyone is goose stepping and getting f***ed in the ass. Are you still happy there? I guess no. And that's the difference between you and those Russians, who endure a shit ton of abuse and struggle in their country, but stay loyal and are happy to live there, no matter what.

hb2345 wrote: ↑

March 2nd, 2025, 4:14 am

yick wrote: ↑

March 2nd, 2025, 3:25 am

now, Mombasa in Kenya has it all for me, beaches, sun, cost of living, nice weather, dateable women (for me, personally) they speak English etc and I would prefer to live there than a nice part of England but is Kenya better than England overall and I would say no but because Mombasa in Kenya ticks enough boxes for me I prefer it.

OK, cool, I got you and I'm really happy for you. But imagine the beautiful Mombasa gets taken over by some rebels and now everyone is goose stepping and getting f***ed in the ass. Are you still happy there? I guess no. And that's the difference between you and those Russians, who endure a shit ton of abuse and struggle in their country, but stay loyal and are happy to live there, no matter what.

Course I wouldn't be happy and I wouldn't stay so the difference between me and the Russians is that I have the means to go to other places, lets take Kangarunner - he is now in Asia but he started his journey in Latin America and he spent a lot of time in Colombia and Peru - he has been to a lot of places but we're both ordinary guys - we're lucky to be able to do that - I don't pretend to be some hero who would never bail out of my country no matter what - I am happy to bail out because the weather is crap for 10 months of the year, that is reason enough.

yick wrote: ↑

March 2nd, 2025, 4:36 am

Course I wouldn't be happy and I wouldn't stay so the difference between me and the Russians is that I have the means to go to other places

That's a thing. I knew this Russian guy who lived in the US for years. He was pretty wealthy, had his own business, a wife, bunch of friends, big house, nice cars, etc... He wasn't some loser. But he got so nostalgic for his homeland he just picked up and went back. I call it an unconditional love.

yick wrote: ↑

March 2nd, 2025, 4:36 am

lets take Kangarunner - he is now in Asia but he started his journey in Latin America and he spent a lot of time in Colombia and Peru - he has been to a lot of places but we're both ordinary guys - we're lucky to be able to do that - I don't pretend to be some hero who would never bail out of my country no matter what - I am happy to bail out because the weather is crap for 10 months of the year, that is reason enough.

But you gotta understand that Kangarunner is just some sore loser who hates America because he can't get laid here and because he's piss poor. Unlike you he's not just after the beaches and nice weather. I get it that you can't have an exotic paradise in UK. But Kangarunner can. He doesn't have to go to Latin America for sunny beaches. He can just go to Florida, California, Carolinas, etc... Problem is he doesn't want to go there because no matter where he goes in America he's made to feel like a f***ing loser because that's what he is. He's a sad pathetic loser and there's no going around it. The only way Kangarannur can feel good about himself is when he's among inferior third worlders, so he doesn't feel like shit. When Kangrarunner goes to a nice country he's immediately reminded about his own inferiority, so he's uncomfortable and feels insecure walking among people who are better and superior to him. That's why Kangurunner enjoys shitty countries, because he's a piece of shit himself.

And what about when you guys get old? Where are you gonna retire? What are your lives gonna look like? What about the pension and health benefits? Are you paying into the system? Who is gonna take care of you over there in Mombasa? What if you need some serious medical attention? Who's gonna take care of Kangarunner when he's 80 years old can't even walk anymore? It's easy to have fun and be careless when you're young, but you won't be young forever.

hb2345 wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 12:16 am

yick wrote: ↑

March 2nd, 2025, 4:36 am

Course I wouldn't be happy and I wouldn't stay so the difference between me and the Russians is that I have the means to go to other places

That's a thing. I knew this Russian guy who lived in the US for years. He was pretty wealthy, had his own business, a wife, bunch of friends, big house, nice cars, etc... He wasn't some loser. But he got so nostalgic for his homeland he just picked up and went back. I call it an unconditional love.

yick wrote: ↑

March 2nd, 2025, 4:36 am

lets take Kangarunner - he is now in Asia but he started his journey in Latin America and he spent a lot of time in Colombia and Peru - he has been to a lot of places but we're both ordinary guys - we're lucky to be able to do that - I don't pretend to be some hero who would never bail out of my country no matter what - I am happy to bail out because the weather is crap for 10 months of the year, that is reason enough.

But you gotta understand that Kangarunner is just some sore loser who hates America because he can't get laid here and because he's piss poor. Unlike you he's not just after the beaches and nice weather. I get it that you can't have an exotic paradise in UK. But Kangarunner can. He doesn't have to go to Latin America for sunny beaches. He can just go to Florida, California, Carolinas, etc... Problem is he doesn't want to go there because no matter where he goes in America he's made to feel like a f***ing loser because that's what he is. He's a sad pathetic loser and there's no going around it. The only way Kangarannur can feel good about himself is when he's among inferior third worlders, so he doesn't feel like shit. When Kangrarunner goes to a nice country he's immediately reminded about his own inferiority, so he's uncomfortable and feels insecure walking among people who are better and superior to him. That's why Kangurunner enjoys shitty countries, because he's a piece of shit himself.

And what about when you guys get old? Where are you gonna retire? What are your lives gonna look like? What about the pension and health benefits? Are you paying into the system? Who is gonna take care of you over there in Mombasa? What if you need some serious medical attention? Who's gonna take care of Kangarunner when he's 80 years old can't even walk anymore? It's easy to have fun and be careless when you're young, but you won't be young forever.

I'm happy over here in Asia. I'm a short flight to Japan from where I am.

kangarunner wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 12:29 am

I'm happy over here in Asia. I'm a short flight to Japan from where I am.

You won't hack it in Japan. And you won't like it there either because Japan is very expensive and it is million times tougher than US when it comes to achieving success. And Japanese p***y is pretty hard to get unlike the Philippines. You'll just turn into one of those Hikikomori shut-in losers, just like you were in America.

The only reason you're happy in Asia is because you're in tourist mode. But if you actually had to sit and sell junk for shit money in one of those street vending stalls all day long you'd be pretty miserable and dead inside just like those locals. So don't bullshit us, Kangarunner.

hb2345 wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 1:14 am

You won't hack it in Japan. And you won't like it there either because Japan is very expensive and it is million times tougher than US when it comes to achieving success. You'll just turn into one of those Hikikomori shut-in losers, just like you were in America.

I don't want to live there. I meant tourism. With a US passport, you get a full 90 days in Japan. I've been there two times already. Tokyo and Osaka. I loved it. You should go.

hb2345 wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 1:14 am

kangarunner wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 12:29 am

I'm happy over here in Asia. I'm a short flight to Japan from where I am.

You won't hack it in Japan. And you won't like it there either because Japan is very expensive and it is million times tougher than US when it comes to achieving success. And Japanese p***y is pretty hard to get unlike the Philippines. You'll just turn into one of those Hikikomori shut-in losers, just like you were in America.

The only reason you're happy in Asia is because you're in tourist mode. But if you actually had to sit and sell junk for shit money in one of those street vending stalls all day long you'd be pretty miserable and dead inside just like those locals. So don't bullshit us, Kangarunner.

Keep focusing your time and energy being nasty here. As long as you're on this forum, it means you're not doing anything productive. Also, please subscribe to my youtube channel.

kangarunner wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 1:18 am

I don't want to live there. I meant tourism. With a US passport, you get a full 90 days in Japan. I've been there two times already. Tokyo and Osaka. I loved it. You should go.

If I decide to go, I will only go to Japan as a tourist. I have zero desire to live there. I also don't know their language. It's too crowded and their houses are tiny and expensive. Having to live in a room the size of a shoe. Having to lift the bed, so you can step into the kitchen. f**k that. I like space and comfort. Plus, these Japanese are all weird now. With their Manga and whatnot. Motherfuckers haven't been the same since we nuked them. A bunch of weirdos if you ask me.

If I ever leave America for good it would be a nice civilized White country like Poland, Ukraine, Czechia, Croatia, Montenegro, etc... so I can avoid shit skins and crazy heat year-round. I'd go to Scandinavia too, but they got too many third world savages for my liking.

kangarunner wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 1:31 am

As long as you're on this forum, it means you're not doing anything productive.

Oh, yeah? But you're on this forum too, smart guy. And how are you being productive down there laying on the beach all day? At least I work and pay taxes, so I can have a good life here in America. What are you doing with your life, slick? You don't work here and you don't work there either! How are you gonna support yourself when you get old?

kangarunner wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 1:31 am

Also, please subscribe to my youtube channel.

Why?

hb2345 wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 1:40 am

kangarunner wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 1:31 am

As long as you're on this forum, it means you're not doing anything productive.

Oh, yeah? But you're on this forum too, smart guy. And how are you being productive down there laying on the beach all day? At least I work and pay taxes, so I can have a good life here in America. What are you doing with your life, slick? You don't work here and you don't work there either! How are you gonna support yourself when you get old?

kangarunner wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 1:31 am

Also, please subscribe to my youtube channel.

Why?

I'm a neet. It's not too bad tbh. It beats wage slaving.

my life is trash wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 11:46 am

I'm a neet. It's not too bad tbh. It beats wage slaving.

Not too bad until your parents stop supporting you. Then what are you gonna do? You're gonna be old, uneducated, and no one will hire you. Kangarunner is having fun now, but he's not paying into the system, which means he won't get Social Security (pension) and Medicare (healthcare coverage).

hb2345 wrote: ↑

March 3rd, 2025, 6:36 pm

Not too bad until your parents stop supporting you. Then what are you gonna do? You're gonna be old, uneducated, and no one will hire you. Kangarunner is having fun now, but he's not paying into the system, which means he won't get Social Security (pension) and Medicare (healthcare coverage).

One word: YOLO. I don't regret getting my passport in 2016.

I think you would be a lot happier and freer living abroad.