Lucas88 wrote: ↑
September 25th, 2022, 9:40 am
Outcast9428 wrote: ↑
September 24th, 2022, 11:53 pm
Your theory that Asian girls are only going for nerdy guys because the other guys are not into them is definitely not true. Florida men will f**k anything with a pulse and they're not shy about it. They hit on every girl you can think of. My girlfriend got hit on every day that I wasn't with her. Even when I was with her, she got hit on several times. Every type of guy you can think of hit on her. My ex definitely never felt like there was a certain kind of guy she could not get. She knew she was a very attractive girl and while I don't believe she was ever vain or mean about it, she did have a little bit of an entitlement complex. She seemed to think she deserved whatever she wanted. She is definitely not the kind of girl to settle for something that isn't exactly what she wants. It was her most annoying trait in my opinion because it meant we could never stay in a reasonable, normal hotel like Holiday Inn or something, it had to be places like the Grand Hyatt or the Hilton hotel. Sometimes I'd say "we're going to stay in this hotel" and then she'd say "I'll research a hotel myself and get back to you." And then I'd learn she had booked a hotel completely on her own. She never asked me to pay her for my portion of the hotel, but I still didn't really like it because it just reeked of excess to me.
I don't want to sound mean because I know that you have fond memories of your ex-girlfriend, but I think that you dodged a bullet there. I can understand why a woman would want you to have your own place and be able to support a kid. That's only practical. However, an obsession with luxuries - especially in conjunction with an entitlement complex - is certainly not a good sign. That type of girl isn't likely to be very loyal as @WilliamSmith has already iterated. In fact, they are not likely to be any more loyal than the women that William and I like and are probably in most cases less loyal. With materialistic girls, as soon as the luxuries stop, they begin to lose interest and will bail on you. They're the most unreliable. If you decide to go down that path, make sure you have a strong prenuptial agreement in place, no matter how "unromantic" the girl "with gold-digger tendencies" might think it is.
Outcast9428 wrote: ↑
September 24th, 2022, 11:53 pm
Why would she have singled me out like that? There was probably a hundred guys in that bar, and she could've gone for any guy in the days prior to meeting me who hit on her, but she chose me. And I don't walk around wearing expensive stuff, there's nothing that would've indicated that I was rich. And when we were dating, I heard her talk about her previous boyfriends as well as crushes she had in middle and high school. She's never really been into that type of guy. Her crushes were on guys like Justin Bieber when he was a sensitive teenager, Toby McGuire in Spider Man, and young Justin Timberlake. Every guy she's dated has been a smart guy. I have no doubt in my mind that intelligence is a must have for her.
I think that the reason why girls like her go for nerdy guys could be something along the lines of what @MarcosZeitola theorized: they might perceive nerdy guys as more monogamous and less likely to cheat like the popular masculine guys are. That would make sense if the guys in Florida and in the US in general really are as promiscuous as you say they are. Those guys might have some primally masculine traits that even most monogamous women find attractive but prudent monogamous girls will prefer to stay away from those guys nevertheless because they know how volatile and unreliable many of those guys are. They've probably already heard countless "bad boy" horror stories. That still doesn't mean that they are not attracted to primal masculinity though and would probably like a guy to have those traits in conjunction with reliability (i.e., the full package). Primal masculinity is attractive to so many women because it's an evolutionary development that has allowed our species to survive for so many millennia. It's just that, with so many unreliable "bad boys" (i.e., defective alphas) around today, some women are not willing to take the chance, even though plenty of primally masculine men are still perfectly reliable and well-adapted.
Outcast9428 wrote: ↑
September 24th, 2022, 11:53 pm
The truth is, we have a very different moral framework. For me, the way your Peruvian girlfriend acted is completely morally unacceptable. I hate girls that try to "test their man's dominance" through playing stupid mind games and acting bitchy on purpose. As for you, you would consider my ex girlfriend's gold digger tendencies to be morally unacceptable. For me, though, I didn't feel like it was that bad. She definitely takes it too far but the concept itself doesn't bother me. Even if she isn't perfect, I still think she's leaps and bounds better then the average Florida girl who f***s these guys who look like they belong on the cast of the Jersey Shore.
I don't know whether my Peruvian ex-girlfriend was intentionally playing mind games and trying to test my dominance or whether she was genuinely disgusted by weak beta behavior and simply reacted in accordance with her emotions. I spoke to a Latina friend of mine about my ex-girlfriend's behavior, and she basically told me that practically all Latinas expect the man to lead and look upon non-leaderlike behavior with contempt. I think that the latter explanation is plausible. I remember when my ex-girlfriend once became upset with me because I asked her to choose which restaurant to eat at. She refused to talk to me. Later she told me that the man should choose where to eat because he is the leader and that a man asking his girlfriend to make such decisions comes across as weak and unworthy of respect. Nobody had ever taught me about Latina psychology or female psychology in general. All I had was my pussified European "education". Things got a lot better the second time round when I adopted a much more dominant approach though. She behaved for the most part and treated me with a lot more respect.
I also realized that the best way to deal with her tantrums was to wait until we got back to the apartment and then just throw her onto the bed, mount her and start passionately kissing her. At first she would resist and tell me: "No, I'm pissed off with you, you're not having any kisses!", but then she would always give in without exception and we would end up passionately making love and she would become playful and submissive for the rest of the night. I actually enjoyed those occurrences. In retrospect I should have intentionally pissed her off more!
I might have dodged a bullet. Even if she was the one paying for it, I did feel instinctively uncomfortable with the absolute insistence that we stay in ridiculously fancy hotels every time. I can tell you, a four star is honestly no different from a three star hotel. It just has a fancier looking lobby, more rooms, more floors, and the walls are slightly nicer looking. That's about it though. You don't get better service, you don't get better beds even. Its practically the same.
She's a flawed person. I won't deny that. Her flaws did cause issues in our relationship. She has a good heart, but she's also really obsessive about what she wants and does have a bit of an entitlement complex. In spite of that though, even though my mom was angry at her for her materialism, my mom did say "I do think she likes you a lot though." From the conversations we've had since breaking up, it sounds like she speaks about me positively.
What you said about attraction seems kind of similar to how I feel looking at cute, good girls, vs slutty girls. But the thing is, my attraction to a slutty looking girl feels very surface level. Like, I'll look at her legs and find them pleasant to look at but I don't feel any actual desire to have sex with them. Its actually the cute, good girl types I feel a desire to have sex with. But the desire is still different from when I was a teenager. When I was a teenager, my desire to have sex with girls was much more liberal. I did look at them, quite frankly, more like objects to have sex with. As I became more traditional though, I do still feel that desire to have sex with certain girls, but I don't look at them like "I want to bang you," I look at them more like "I want to introduce you to this area of life in a way that is safe and preserves your innocence while also fulfilling your needs as a human being." There's a much more nurturing and protective instinct behind my sexual desire now then when I was a teenage boy. When I was a teenage boy, my sexual desire was completely selfish. But as I've gotten older, I've come to realize how fragile girls' mental and emotional state of being really is when it comes to sex. I've also learned how satisfying sex is with somebody you love, are taking care of, and feel a connection with and not just having sex with somebody for their body and nothing else.
I still think the girls you are talking about are annoying. Asking a girl what restaurant she wants to go to is a simple question. I would ask it of anyone. If everyone is being indecisive then yes, I will say "we're going here." But to say "we're going here" and never asking for your girlfriend's opinion. It just feels rude. I don't think its "sexist," I just think its rude. I don't think that basic politeness warrants getting upset or viewing her male partner with contempt. See that's why I'm not really interested in Latinas. I don't like that stupid "I'm gonna pretend I'm too angry to have sex with you because I want you to ignore what I say and f**k me anyway." Its like they think acting like a bratty child and forcing the man to discipline her is sexy and its not.
See my ex never did stuff like that. Not once when we were anywhere did she resist sex. She never once tried to "test me" or act like she wasn't interested in having sex. She actually initiated it a lot herself. Our sexual life was so easy, honest, and comfortable. There was no games to it at all. She was never vulgar about her sexuality, she really knew how to present her sexuality, no matter how powerful it was, in a way that felt cute, wholesome, and innocent, which is a big part of why I like Asian girls because they excel at that.
I can't really imagine us ever having "angry sex" so to speak. I don't know what that would look like. It just wasn't in our energy/frequency to do.