Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

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Lucas88
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by Lucas88 »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 12:52 am
In the end, different girls want different things. Asian girls are definitely not "immune" to a sexually desirable man, but they can also be quite calculating and look 'beyond' that, look at future potential, what he earns, what he is expected to earn in the future, the overall trajectory of his life... and if it doesn't go the direction she wants it to go, she can jump ship, just as easily as any other race of girl, if not easier. Which is kind of terrifying, because you'll find that as a man, you're quite... disposable, at times. You think you have leverage over a girl, you think you have what it takes, you think you're rock solid and it turns out, you just aren't. I've had to harden my heart against the pain of rejection, the pain of things ending, because things aren't always what they seem and one minute you can feel secure, the next, all may be lost. It's crazy.
The disposability thing is indeed quite terrifying and can harden many men's hearts to the idea of love. I didn't know that you had gone through something like that, Marcos. I hope that you can put the pain behind you and soon enter a better chapter of your life.

Suddenly being dumped for somebody else seemingly can happen to any man. You could be a millionaire, Mister Olympia or even a very loyal family man and it could still happen to you. :( Just today I heard some wise advice for men concerning this same topic which basically urged men to pursue other interests and forge our own identity first and foremost and never to make a woman the center of our lives given many women's whimsicalness. I myself take this way of thinking to another level. I don't even take women or relationships seriously and have no desire to get into a long-term relationship ever again because I refuse to give up any personal power or risk further heartache. Rather I only want FWB arrangements and nowadays see encounters with women as a fun activity on the side of more serious things. In my view, women are nice in moderation but become a bore in the long term. They can also thoroughly crush you if you let your guard down and cede any of your power to them. Even if I have kiddies, I still won't allow the mother of my kiddies to have any power over me other than the right to basic child support. I'll send her the money she needs for the kiddies, have them round at the house on certain days of the week and teach them important things like a father should, but I'll not get into a monogamous relationship with the mother and will continue to sleep with whomever I want. At this point I think that long-term relationships and even love are highly overrated. I think that it's better to focus on one's own goals and view relations with women only in terms of pleasure and reproduction.

I might make an exception for a girl with whom I feel an extremely deep spiritual connection but those are few and far between.
WanderingProtagonist
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by WanderingProtagonist »

Lucas88 wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 3:25 pm
MarcosZeitola wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 12:52 am
In the end, different girls want different things. Asian girls are definitely not "immune" to a sexually desirable man, but they can also be quite calculating and look 'beyond' that, look at future potential, what he earns, what he is expected to earn in the future, the overall trajectory of his life... and if it doesn't go the direction she wants it to go, she can jump ship, just as easily as any other race of girl, if not easier. Which is kind of terrifying, because you'll find that as a man, you're quite... disposable, at times. You think you have leverage over a girl, you think you have what it takes, you think you're rock solid and it turns out, you just aren't. I've had to harden my heart against the pain of rejection, the pain of things ending, because things aren't always what they seem and one minute you can feel secure, the next, all may be lost. It's crazy.
The disposability thing is indeed quite terrifying and can harden many men's hearts to the idea of love. I didn't know that you had gone through something like that, Marcos. I hope that you can put the pain behind you and soon enter a better chapter of your life.

Suddenly being dumped for somebody else seemingly can happen to any man. You could be a millionaire, Mister Olympia or even a very loyal family man and it could still happen to you. :( Just today I heard some wise advice for men concerning this same topic which basically urged men to pursue other interests and forge our own identity first and foremost and never to make a woman the center of our lives given many women's whimsicalness. I myself take this way of thinking to another level. I don't even take women or relationships seriously and have no desire to get into a long-term relationship ever again because I refuse to give up any personal power or risk further heartache. Rather I only want FWB arrangements and nowadays see encounters with women as a fun activity on the side of more serious things. In my view, women are nice in moderation but become a bore in the long term. They can also thoroughly crush you if you let your guard down and cede any of your power to them. Even if I have kiddies, I still won't allow the mother of my kiddies to have any power over me other than the right to basic child support. I'll send her the money she needs for the kiddies, have them round at the house on certain days of the week and teach them important things like a father should, but I'll not get into a monogamous relationship with the mother and will continue to sleep with whomever I want. At this point I think that long-term relationships and even love are highly overrated. I think that it's better to focus on one's own goals and view relations with women only in terms of pleasure and reproduction.

I might make an exception for a girl with whom I feel an extremely deep spiritual connection but those are few and far between.
I actually got depressed from reading this... :( it's like you can't trust women, don't want to trust them, don't see any value to them, can't connect with them, and just consider them as pleasure. I also think you are wrong about love being overrated. How can love be overrated when very few people are even interested in loving anyone but themselves? Is it overrated in Spain? I don't know. I know in countries like America, Canada, Japan, China, etc very few men have women in their lives.

I live in America, and love is the number one thing that certainly is far from being overrated in this country. I heard my cousin say a number of times that "Women aint shit." He's always had women in his life. But he admitted himself he wants to just fool around with multiple women anyway, and me being a man who struggles a lot I see guys like this and I just think "goddamn you're f***ing selfish." And that's only because I can't get a woman, but I see these men who can and they either want to use women for sexual reasons, or let women humiliate them (cucking). These are like the two types of men I never could figure out. You're going to get the men who can always land dates and get laid but could care less about the spirit of a woman because she means nothing to him. Either due to bad experiences with them in the past, or just he has no interest in giving his heart to a woman even if he never got hurt by one before. And it's understandable if men don't want to trust women or see commitment as a chore or heartache. By no means am I even judging just rather disappointed that we cannot coxist with women without it being some kind of burden like paying bills or going to work every day.

And then there are those men who go out of their way, get married just so they can sit around and record their wives f***ing other men while he gets off on the idea of being inferior to the man that's sleeping with his woman. And some men are so f***ed about it, they'll watch her do a gang bang with multiple men or get impregnated by another guy just so he can raise that man's son. Men like this irritate the shit out of me. I just shake my head in disbelief because there are couples like this that really do exist.

Love would be considered overrated if more people were willing to make commitments but they don't. If anything flings and hookup culture are overrated. There are far more men and women both that would rather just have multiple encounters than saying "look I need you in my life, let's be there for each other." I guess I can't fault men that don't want to commit because the way women are and getting hurt does suck, I remember I was 11 years old when I got dumped by a Mexican girl that dropped me in front of her family all because some short midget ass black girl that was friends with her made a pass at me, and even though I ripped up the girls number when she gave it to me. My girlfriend still left me anyways and I ran home the entire way crying and I spent an entire weak crying while my mother kept telling me it was going to be okay.

I haven't dated anyone in years and the last girl that left me, I was 17 and it happened on the day my mother got married, but I believe women and men both believe they don't need each other at all anymore. I don't want to see good men getting hurt no more than I want to see good women getting hurt. The thing is I believe women are still likely to abandon a man first.
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CaptainSkelebob
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by CaptainSkelebob »

All women want men for money
Its their security...
Men only want women to empty their nuts into
Its a contract
A mutually beneficially one
So long as the woman knows her place
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Lucas88
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by Lucas88 »

WanderingProtagonist wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 3:39 pm
I actually got depressed from reading this... :( it's like you can't trust women, don't want to trust them, don't see any value to them, can't connect with them, and just consider them as pleasure. I also think you are wrong about love being overrated. How can love be overrated when very few people are even interested in loving anyone but themselves? Is it overrated in Spain? I don't know. I know in countries like America, Canada, Japan, China, etc very few men have women in their lives.
I'm just burned out and numb to love at this point and don't view it as a priority in my own life anymore. I have other interests from which I derive much more satisfaction. I value women as friends and people, but I don't want to make a relationship the center of my life - especially when I no longer care about love and understand how horrible it is to get dumped after being so emotionally invested in somebody else. Every painful blow that one suffers just builds onto the last.

I wanna be clear. When I say that love is overrated, I mean that it's overrated for me. I no longer view love as something important to me personally. But I understand that there are others who do desire love and view it as extremely important for their own happiness. If that's what they feel, then they must pursue it, otherwise they will only be miserable.

I've now learned that a somewhat ascetic lifestyle in pursuit of my own interests gives me more satisfaction and peace of mind.
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by WanderingProtagonist »

Lucas88 wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 5:01 pm
WanderingProtagonist wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 3:39 pm
I actually got depressed from reading this... :( it's like you can't trust women, don't want to trust them, don't see any value to them, can't connect with them, and just consider them as pleasure. I also think you are wrong about love being overrated. How can love be overrated when very few people are even interested in loving anyone but themselves? Is it overrated in Spain? I don't know. I know in countries like America, Canada, Japan, China, etc very few men have women in their lives.
I'm just burned out and numb to love at this point and don't view it as a priority in my own life anymore. I have other interests from which I derive much more satisfaction. I value women as friends and people, but I don't want to make a relationship the center of my life - especially when I no longer care about love and understand how horrible it is to get dumped after being so emotionally invested in somebody else. Every painful blow that one suffers just builds onto the last.

I wanna be clear. When I say that love is overrated, I mean that it's overrated for me. I no longer view love as something important to me personally. But I understand that there are others who do desire love and view it as extremely important for their own happiness. If that's what they feel, then they must pursue it, otherwise they will only be miserable.

I've now learned that a somewhat ascetic lifestyle in pursuit of my own interests gives me more satisfaction and peace of mind.
Yeah I understand what you mean. About the being emotionally invested in someone, and then they do the unthinkable to you. It has happened to me a lot too. That's why I said that, I can't really fault certain men if they don't want to pursue women anymore... To be fair, I don't want to pursue them anymore either. I chose other options as alternatives but wasn't quite certain if I really wanted to go that far and be involved with one of those people knowing that I'm not homosexual, but wouldn't want to claim being hetero knowing that the person I am involved with isn't even a damn woman. Sure I could try to force myself to believe I'm with a woman just because of the way they look. But at the same time...I still felt rather questionable as to what I was doing. In the end I just wanted someone to love and care about me for a change. And not feel so lonely in this world knowing that man wasn't destined to walk the earth without a significant other.

So I know it can feel overrated for some men that been through all the hell associated with commitments. Me personally I just really miss having someone in my life. I can't just be friends without wanting something more beyond this. And while I can consider a love life a priority on top of other priorities I guess well, yeah....Living in America and a state like CA I had to accept this is it...And running off to another state wouldn't change anything....
:(
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MarcosZeitola
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by MarcosZeitola »

Lucas88 wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 3:25 pm
The disposability thing is indeed quite terrifying and can harden many men's hearts to the idea of love. I didn't know that you had gone through something like that, Marcos. I hope that you can put the pain behind you and soon enter a better chapter of your life.

Suddenly being dumped for somebody else seemingly can happen to any man. You could be a millionaire, Mister Olympia or even a very loyal family man and it could still happen to you. :( Just today I heard some wise advice for men concerning this same topic which basically urged men to pursue other interests and forge our own identity first and foremost and never to make a woman the center of our lives given many women's whimsicalness. I myself take this way of thinking to another level. I don't even take women or relationships seriously and have no desire to get into a long-term relationship ever again because I refuse to give up any personal power or risk further heartache. Rather I only want FWB arrangements and nowadays see encounters with women as a fun activity on the side of more serious things. In my view, women are nice in moderation but become a bore in the long term. They can also thoroughly crush you if you let your guard down and cede any of your power to them. Even if I have kiddies, I still won't allow the mother of my kiddies to have any power over me other than the right to basic child support. I'll send her the money she needs for the kiddies, have them round at the house on certain days of the week and teach them important things like a father should, but I'll not get into a monogamous relationship with the mother and will continue to sleep with whomever I want. At this point I think that long-term relationships and even love are highly overrated. I think that it's better to focus on one's own goals and view relations with women only in terms of pleasure and reproduction.

I might make an exception for a girl with whom I feel an extremely deep spiritual connection but those are few and far between.
I did enter a better phase of my life. But it was an odd thing to experience. I guess in some ways I was more than a little bit "naive", what the internet-incels would call "blue-pilled"... I wasn't really aware of human nature as much as I thought I was. So I had this misconception that certain things simply "couldn't happen to me". And that's bullshit, because they very much could, and they did. I'm not immune to such things. Not immune to being betrayed, not immune to no longer being a girl's best option all of a sudden. And it was extra painful for me because children were involved. Thankfully we were able to remain amicable with one another, which helps a lot.

After that, I did harden my heart in some sense. But I stayed open to the idea of having a relationship. Unlike you, I'm quite a homebody, I'm someone who desires to have a relationship because its not something I can really do without. I'm all about family, I'm all about building a life with someone. And I often arrogantly told people here on HA that I was so proud of having this highlhy educated wife, someone intelligent, someone I could have the best conversations with... and that whole perspective changed. I looked for someone pretty, kind, and not necessarily brilliant next. And I was able to find a girl. I dated around quite a bit before I found her, and I was a million times more picky this time around than I was before.

Dating around and casual relationships aren't just for everyone, I think. Me, they gave little joy, in the long run. Doesn't mean I didn't have a lot of fun; I did. :lol: But it isn't really "me", its not who I am, you know? I'm a monogamous guy at heart, who was hurt and just banged his way through a succession of cuties until I found someone who I wanted to wife up. And I will wife her up, sometime next year. And simply "start over". I have not become a cynical bastard yet. But I also don't give my all, either. I'm a little more jaded, a little more detached. I still get genuinely enthusiastic but it's all a little "less" than before. And there's this fear that wasn't there before... life's a lot less "certain" than before and I no longer think in the same absolutes as I used to. Because absolutes didn't serve me very well.
On "Faux-Tradionalists" and why they're heading nowhere: viewtopic.php?style=1&f=37&t=29144
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by WanderingProtagonist »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 8:03 pm
Lucas88 wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 3:25 pm
The disposability thing is indeed quite terrifying and can harden many men's hearts to the idea of love. I didn't know that you had gone through something like that, Marcos. I hope that you can put the pain behind you and soon enter a better chapter of your life.

Suddenly being dumped for somebody else seemingly can happen to any man. You could be a millionaire, Mister Olympia or even a very loyal family man and it could still happen to you. :( Just today I heard some wise advice for men concerning this same topic which basically urged men to pursue other interests and forge our own identity first and foremost and never to make a woman the center of our lives given many women's whimsicalness. I myself take this way of thinking to another level. I don't even take women or relationships seriously and have no desire to get into a long-term relationship ever again because I refuse to give up any personal power or risk further heartache. Rather I only want FWB arrangements and nowadays see encounters with women as a fun activity on the side of more serious things. In my view, women are nice in moderation but become a bore in the long term. They can also thoroughly crush you if you let your guard down and cede any of your power to them. Even if I have kiddies, I still won't allow the mother of my kiddies to have any power over me other than the right to basic child support. I'll send her the money she needs for the kiddies, have them round at the house on certain days of the week and teach them important things like a father should, but I'll not get into a monogamous relationship with the mother and will continue to sleep with whomever I want. At this point I think that long-term relationships and even love are highly overrated. I think that it's better to focus on one's own goals and view relations with women only in terms of pleasure and reproduction.

I might make an exception for a girl with whom I feel an extremely deep spiritual connection but those are few and far between.
I did enter a better phase of my life. But it was an odd thing to experience. I guess in some ways I was more than a little bit "naive", what the internet-incels would call "blue-pilled"... I wasn't really aware of human nature as much as I thought I was. So I had this misconception that certain things simply "couldn't happen to me". And that's bullshit, because they very much could, and they did. I'm not immune to such things. Not immune to being betrayed, not immune to no longer being a girl's best option all of a sudden. And it was extra painful for me because children were involved. Thankfully we were able to remain amicable with one another, which helps a lot.

After that, I did harden my heart in some sense. But I stayed open to the idea of having a relationship. Unlike you, I'm quite a homebody, I'm someone who desires to have a relationship because its not something I can really do without. I'm all about family, I'm all about building a life with someone. And I often arrogantly told people here on HA that I was so proud of having this highlhy educated wife, someone intelligent, someone I could have the best conversations with... and that whole perspective changed. I looked for someone pretty, kind, and not necessarily brilliant next. And I was able to find a girl. I dated around quite a bit before I found her, and I was a million times more picky this time around than I was before.

Dating around and casual relationships aren't just for everyone, I think. Me, they gave little joy, in the long run. Doesn't mean I didn't have a lot of fun; I did. :lol: But it isn't really "me", its not who I am, you know? I'm a monogamous guy at heart, who was hurt and just banged his way through a succession of cuties until I found someone who I wanted to wife up. And I will wife her up, sometime next year. And simply "start over". I have not become a cynical bastard yet. But I also don't give my all, either. I'm a little more jaded, a little more detached. I still get genuinely enthusiastic but it's all a little "less" than before. And there's this fear that wasn't there before... life's a lot less "certain" than before and I no longer think in the same absolutes as I used to. Because absolutes didn't serve me very well.
I really like the way you explained and worded all of this, honestly. And I agree with your attitude and how you approach these scenarios and situations. I think the same way as you do as far as wanting to build something up with someone. But I also get why @Lucas88 has sort of a blackpilled view of dating and committing. In which case I can relate to how he feels also since getting hurt can take a lot out of a man and just make him feel less inclined to commit and devote himself to someone. There are some men that want to keep on trying until they find the one to make them happy, but there are men that don't believe it will ever be possible, so they cannot make the sacrifice and give in to one person. Therefore @Lucas88 being suspicious of committing to a woman is highly understandable.

I know since I've given up on women and tried to out right replace them with transgenders when I got sick of them disappointing me, that's another reason why I can't just shove my nose up in the air and say "okay Lucas you aught to keep trying until you find the right girl." Some guys just don't have the endless will to keep trying. The men who did exceed like you did. I always believed these individuals were just blessed. Very blessed. I think once any man reach a certain road in his life, he will choose the path that will least likely let him down when he finally makes it to his destination once that road comes to an end vs taking the road that leads him to absolutely nowhere.
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by MarcosZeitola »

WanderingProtagonist wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 9:59 pm

I really like the way you explained and worded all of this, honestly. And I agree with your attitude and how you approach these scenarios and situations. I think the same way as you do as far as wanting to build something up with someone. But I also get why @Lucas88 has sort of a blackpilled view of dating and committing. In which case I can relate to how he feels also since getting hurt can take a lot out of a man and just make him feel less inclined to commit and devote himself to someone. There are some men that want to keep on trying until they find the one to make them happy, but there are men that don't believe it will ever be possible, so they cannot make the sacrifice and give in to one person. Therefore @Lucas88 being suspicious of committing to a woman is highly understandable.

I know since I've given up on women and tried to out right replace them with transgenders when I got sick of them disappointing me, that's another reason why I can't just shove my nose up in the air and say "okay Lucas you aught to keep trying until you find the right girl." Some guys just don't have the endless will to keep trying. The men who did exceed like you did. I always believed these individuals were just blessed. Very blessed. I think once any man reach a certain road in his life, he will choose the path that will least likely let him down when he finally makes it to his destination once that road comes to an end vs taking the road that leads him to absolutely nowhere.
I'd be very careful not to mess with trannies, they're disease riddled animals, my friend. But it sounds like you already came to your senses before you did anything with them, and I'm grateful to hear that because they're really something to stay away from. At times I look at them and get this uncanny valley sensation where I'm not even sure if these creatures are even truly human lol. They're definitely mentally ill and best avoided.

As far as dating and committing to a woman goes, there are still "good women" in the world, women who are the product of good cultures and healthy family backgrounds. But even when you go to such a "good country" and you feel you really found someone solid, you can still end up hurt and disappointed in the end. That's the tragedy of life, of love, of dating and marriage... there are, ultimately, no real guarantees. You can calculate your moves and target specific types of ladies to lessen the risks, but you can never eliminate the risks altogether. It is and always will be a bit of a Russian roulette sort of deal. You can win, or you can lose, big time. You could have a "happily ever after" or things could crash and burn. For all things high risk, high reward, this goes with the territory. If you're too risk-averse to take chances, life sort of goes by on us, which is a shame. The best thing I got out of my past relationship, even though it ultimately failed, is a beautiful family, beautiful children. They sustain me, motivate me and drive me to be better. Cliche as f**k, I know, but its true.

I'm a happy man, for the most part. But happiness is a fleeting emotion, it comes and goes in bursts. No one is sunny and cheerful 24/7, and we all have our ups and downs. It helps setting goals for oneself and trying to attain them. I think this is also why @Lucas88 seems to be doing fine, stable relationship or not, flings or no flings, ladies or no ladies... he has clear-set goals and they keep him occupied. Women alone don't make a man happy, but I do feel like having them in your life is a net benefit. I certainly enjoy their presence a lot.
On "Faux-Tradionalists" and why they're heading nowhere: viewtopic.php?style=1&f=37&t=29144
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by WanderingProtagonist »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 11:21 pm
WanderingProtagonist wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 9:59 pm

I really like the way you explained and worded all of this, honestly. And I agree with your attitude and how you approach these scenarios and situations. I think the same way as you do as far as wanting to build something up with someone. But I also get why @Lucas88 has sort of a blackpilled view of dating and committing. In which case I can relate to how he feels also since getting hurt can take a lot out of a man and just make him feel less inclined to commit and devote himself to someone. There are some men that want to keep on trying until they find the one to make them happy, but there are men that don't believe it will ever be possible, so they cannot make the sacrifice and give in to one person. Therefore @Lucas88 being suspicious of committing to a woman is highly understandable.

I know since I've given up on women and tried to out right replace them with transgenders when I got sick of them disappointing me, that's another reason why I can't just shove my nose up in the air and say "okay Lucas you aught to keep trying until you find the right girl." Some guys just don't have the endless will to keep trying. The men who did exceed like you did. I always believed these individuals were just blessed. Very blessed. I think once any man reach a certain road in his life, he will choose the path that will least likely let him down when he finally makes it to his destination once that road comes to an end vs taking the road that leads him to absolutely nowhere.
I'd be very careful not to mess with trannies, they're disease riddled animals, my friend. But it sounds like you already came to your senses before you did anything with them, and I'm grateful to hear that because they're really something to stay away from. At times I look at them and get this uncanny valley sensation where I'm not even sure if these creatures are even truly human lol. They're definitely mentally ill and best avoided.

As far as dating and committing to a woman goes, there are still "good women" in the world, women who are the product of good cultures and healthy family backgrounds. But even when you go to such a "good country" and you feel you really found someone solid, you can still end up hurt and disappointed in the end. That's the tragedy of life, of love, of dating and marriage... there are, ultimately, no real guarantees. You can calculate your moves and target specific types of ladies to lessen the risks, but you can never eliminate the risks altogether. It is and always will be a bit of a Russian roulette sort of deal. You can win, or you can lose, big time. You could have a "happily ever after" or things could crash and burn. For all things high risk, high reward, this goes with the territory. If you're too risk-averse to take chances, life sort of goes by on us, which is a shame. The best thing I got out of my past relationship, even though it ultimately failed, is a beautiful family, beautiful children. They sustain me, motivate me and drive me to be better. Cliche as f**k, I know, but its true.

I'm a happy man, for the most part. But happiness is a fleeting emotion, it comes and goes in bursts. No one is sunny and cheerful 24/7, and we all have our ups and downs. It helps setting goals for oneself and trying to attain them. I think this is also why @Lucas88 seems to be doing fine, stable relationship or not, flings or no flings, ladies or no ladies... he has clear-set goals and they keep him occupied. Women alone don't make a man happy, but I do feel like having them in your life is a net benefit. I certainly enjoy their presence a lot.
I wouldn't say they are disease riddled, unless they were overly sexual and having a lot of unprotected sex with people but that could be possible with women too who often sleep around a lot. Most of the ones I met never even dated anyone at all, let alone had sex. These were mostly young trans people from Asia, not the ugly nasty looking ones from the United States that actually do look strange and off. Of course I'm not exactly all right in the head myself to be fair. Overall men do things out of desperation all the time. I know it all too well because I went to college and landed in debt. I've just about given up on every aspect of life these days if I must be even more honest. I hardly have much peace either. And I constantly feel trapped, lost, bitter, frustrated, angry at other people, etc. for now I'm still in that phase where I'm just trying to cope, having grown up my entire life being learning disability and quite slow. It's very hard to keep up in the world.
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Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!

Post by Outcast9428 »

Lucas88 wrote:
September 25th, 2022, 9:40 am
Outcast9428 wrote:
September 24th, 2022, 11:53 pm
Your theory that Asian girls are only going for nerdy guys because the other guys are not into them is definitely not true. Florida men will f**k anything with a pulse and they're not shy about it. They hit on every girl you can think of. My girlfriend got hit on every day that I wasn't with her. Even when I was with her, she got hit on several times. Every type of guy you can think of hit on her. My ex definitely never felt like there was a certain kind of guy she could not get. She knew she was a very attractive girl and while I don't believe she was ever vain or mean about it, she did have a little bit of an entitlement complex. She seemed to think she deserved whatever she wanted. She is definitely not the kind of girl to settle for something that isn't exactly what she wants. It was her most annoying trait in my opinion because it meant we could never stay in a reasonable, normal hotel like Holiday Inn or something, it had to be places like the Grand Hyatt or the Hilton hotel. Sometimes I'd say "we're going to stay in this hotel" and then she'd say "I'll research a hotel myself and get back to you." And then I'd learn she had booked a hotel completely on her own. She never asked me to pay her for my portion of the hotel, but I still didn't really like it because it just reeked of excess to me.
I don't want to sound mean because I know that you have fond memories of your ex-girlfriend, but I think that you dodged a bullet there. I can understand why a woman would want you to have your own place and be able to support a kid. That's only practical. However, an obsession with luxuries - especially in conjunction with an entitlement complex - is certainly not a good sign. That type of girl isn't likely to be very loyal as @WilliamSmith has already iterated. In fact, they are not likely to be any more loyal than the women that William and I like and are probably in most cases less loyal. With materialistic girls, as soon as the luxuries stop, they begin to lose interest and will bail on you. They're the most unreliable. If you decide to go down that path, make sure you have a strong prenuptial agreement in place, no matter how "unromantic" the girl "with gold-digger tendencies" might think it is.
Outcast9428 wrote:
September 24th, 2022, 11:53 pm
Why would she have singled me out like that? There was probably a hundred guys in that bar, and she could've gone for any guy in the days prior to meeting me who hit on her, but she chose me. And I don't walk around wearing expensive stuff, there's nothing that would've indicated that I was rich. And when we were dating, I heard her talk about her previous boyfriends as well as crushes she had in middle and high school. She's never really been into that type of guy. Her crushes were on guys like Justin Bieber when he was a sensitive teenager, Toby McGuire in Spider Man, and young Justin Timberlake. Every guy she's dated has been a smart guy. I have no doubt in my mind that intelligence is a must have for her.
I think that the reason why girls like her go for nerdy guys could be something along the lines of what @MarcosZeitola theorized: they might perceive nerdy guys as more monogamous and less likely to cheat like the popular masculine guys are. That would make sense if the guys in Florida and in the US in general really are as promiscuous as you say they are. Those guys might have some primally masculine traits that even most monogamous women find attractive but prudent monogamous girls will prefer to stay away from those guys nevertheless because they know how volatile and unreliable many of those guys are. They've probably already heard countless "bad boy" horror stories. That still doesn't mean that they are not attracted to primal masculinity though and would probably like a guy to have those traits in conjunction with reliability (i.e., the full package). Primal masculinity is attractive to so many women because it's an evolutionary development that has allowed our species to survive for so many millennia. It's just that, with so many unreliable "bad boys" (i.e., defective alphas) around today, some women are not willing to take the chance, even though plenty of primally masculine men are still perfectly reliable and well-adapted.
Outcast9428 wrote:
September 24th, 2022, 11:53 pm
The truth is, we have a very different moral framework. For me, the way your Peruvian girlfriend acted is completely morally unacceptable. I hate girls that try to "test their man's dominance" through playing stupid mind games and acting bitchy on purpose. As for you, you would consider my ex girlfriend's gold digger tendencies to be morally unacceptable. For me, though, I didn't feel like it was that bad. She definitely takes it too far but the concept itself doesn't bother me. Even if she isn't perfect, I still think she's leaps and bounds better then the average Florida girl who f***s these guys who look like they belong on the cast of the Jersey Shore.
I don't know whether my Peruvian ex-girlfriend was intentionally playing mind games and trying to test my dominance or whether she was genuinely disgusted by weak beta behavior and simply reacted in accordance with her emotions. I spoke to a Latina friend of mine about my ex-girlfriend's behavior, and she basically told me that practically all Latinas expect the man to lead and look upon non-leaderlike behavior with contempt. I think that the latter explanation is plausible. I remember when my ex-girlfriend once became upset with me because I asked her to choose which restaurant to eat at. She refused to talk to me. Later she told me that the man should choose where to eat because he is the leader and that a man asking his girlfriend to make such decisions comes across as weak and unworthy of respect. Nobody had ever taught me about Latina psychology or female psychology in general. All I had was my pussified European "education". Things got a lot better the second time round when I adopted a much more dominant approach though. She behaved for the most part and treated me with a lot more respect.

I also realized that the best way to deal with her tantrums was to wait until we got back to the apartment and then just throw her onto the bed, mount her and start passionately kissing her. At first she would resist and tell me: "No, I'm pissed off with you, you're not having any kisses!", but then she would always give in without exception and we would end up passionately making love and she would become playful and submissive for the rest of the night. I actually enjoyed those occurrences. In retrospect I should have intentionally pissed her off more! :lol:
I might have dodged a bullet. Even if she was the one paying for it, I did feel instinctively uncomfortable with the absolute insistence that we stay in ridiculously fancy hotels every time. I can tell you, a four star is honestly no different from a three star hotel. It just has a fancier looking lobby, more rooms, more floors, and the walls are slightly nicer looking. That's about it though. You don't get better service, you don't get better beds even. Its practically the same.

She's a flawed person. I won't deny that. Her flaws did cause issues in our relationship. She has a good heart, but she's also really obsessive about what she wants and does have a bit of an entitlement complex. In spite of that though, even though my mom was angry at her for her materialism, my mom did say "I do think she likes you a lot though." From the conversations we've had since breaking up, it sounds like she speaks about me positively.

What you said about attraction seems kind of similar to how I feel looking at cute, good girls, vs slutty girls. But the thing is, my attraction to a slutty looking girl feels very surface level. Like, I'll look at her legs and find them pleasant to look at but I don't feel any actual desire to have sex with them. Its actually the cute, good girl types I feel a desire to have sex with. But the desire is still different from when I was a teenager. When I was a teenager, my desire to have sex with girls was much more liberal. I did look at them, quite frankly, more like objects to have sex with. As I became more traditional though, I do still feel that desire to have sex with certain girls, but I don't look at them like "I want to bang you," I look at them more like "I want to introduce you to this area of life in a way that is safe and preserves your innocence while also fulfilling your needs as a human being." There's a much more nurturing and protective instinct behind my sexual desire now then when I was a teenage boy. When I was a teenage boy, my sexual desire was completely selfish. But as I've gotten older, I've come to realize how fragile girls' mental and emotional state of being really is when it comes to sex. I've also learned how satisfying sex is with somebody you love, are taking care of, and feel a connection with and not just having sex with somebody for their body and nothing else.

I still think the girls you are talking about are annoying. Asking a girl what restaurant she wants to go to is a simple question. I would ask it of anyone. If everyone is being indecisive then yes, I will say "we're going here." But to say "we're going here" and never asking for your girlfriend's opinion. It just feels rude. I don't think its "sexist," I just think its rude. I don't think that basic politeness warrants getting upset or viewing her male partner with contempt. See that's why I'm not really interested in Latinas. I don't like that stupid "I'm gonna pretend I'm too angry to have sex with you because I want you to ignore what I say and f**k me anyway." Its like they think acting like a bratty child and forcing the man to discipline her is sexy and its not.

See my ex never did stuff like that. Not once when we were anywhere did she resist sex. She never once tried to "test me" or act like she wasn't interested in having sex. She actually initiated it a lot herself. Our sexual life was so easy, honest, and comfortable. There was no games to it at all. She was never vulgar about her sexuality, she really knew how to present her sexuality, no matter how powerful it was, in a way that felt cute, wholesome, and innocent, which is a big part of why I like Asian girls because they excel at that.

I can't really imagine us ever having "angry sex" so to speak. I don't know what that would look like. It just wasn't in our energy/frequency to do.
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