Re: Are Asian men only valued for their money? If so that sucks!
Posted: September 20th, 2022, 9:02 pm
Hey, I'm still friendly as usual, so sorry if this is starting to sound like a variant on "I know you're not but what am I" or rather "Yeah it is" / "No it isn't" / "Yeah it is x10" / "No it isn't x20" etc, but in fact is IS demolishing your own point and you've got it completely bass-ackwards:Outcast9428 wrote: ↑September 20th, 2022, 6:34 pmIt’s not disproving my point at all. Women are notoriously fickle. The reason divorce happens more likely if the woman gets a promotion is because you can’t earn the same amount or less then the woman or she will lose attraction.
The Chinese guys you mentioned are being smart. You should never let your woman make more money then you do. It’s a threat to your marriage.
You're saying that a man should use his current level of income (or possibly existing money) to attract a woman, which is a terrible idea since it'll attract gold-diggers. And worse: Even if he was OK marrying a gold-digger, he than maximizes the odds she'll dump his ass if his income level goes down or he loses his job, and/or if she ends up in a higher-earning business or position herself. Obviously that is exactly why you SHOULDN'T use money to try to attract women, and you should even hide your earnings from her if you have high earnings, in my opinion.
Doing it that way maximizes the odds a man will attract women who aren't that into him without his earnings, and maxes the odds they'll dump him if he loses those earnings or they go down.
(Also I don't think you had the right spin on the study you cited because the most likely thing in the world is those women who filed for divorce after they were earning more $$$ than the men, the men were probably betas who thought they should attract via money, and then when the women were earning more than the betas they weren't that into to begin with anyway, they filed for divorce so he couldn't get a claim on her financial assets instead of vice versa.)
This is why so many bulletproof womanizers won't let the women early on know how much they earn (or even lie claiming to earn less), because obviously if you engage in that folly of trying to attract based on your income then you'll attract gold-diggers (or at best chicks looking for "sugar-daddies," but I wouldn't be interested in that and I don't think that applies to you either, since you're talking traditional marriage in your sphere of interest).
If you want to get a 100x stronger basis for the relationship, you're better off being practically a bum with a lot of seductive charm who can blow a woman's mind in bed and make her fall in love in other ways, compared with playing this "money game." (If you were just trying to bag some chicks that's one thing, but if you're looking for a good wife who would stick with you through thick and thin, I think this money game is the absolute worst way you could possibly go about it.)
Not that you have to be practically a wandering vagabond, of course: The optimum is probably to come across as financially self-sufficient without disclosing any more detail about that than necessary, but otherwise getting a chick into you via primal male/female attraction dynamics, whether it's charm, seductiveness, good rapport in various other ways, or @Lucas88's preference for coming across as more of a physically exciting stud (which I also like, but I think the charm and understanding women's psyche more is the best long-run approach because that can keep you up to your ears in women even if something bad happened like a major injury that made it hard to keep up the Chet Yorton-esque muscleman physique into the golden years).
As for that Chinese example:
I don't know the full background on that Chinese guy's decision (and wasn't dissing him anyway), but it's just right out there how backward his and your logic is on this particular point:
He had the woman he wanted right there wanting his nuts (or to put it more formally, 100% interested in getting into a permanent relationship with him) for the long-run (marriage even) but he had a woman who ALREADY made more money than him (so he already knew she wasn't a gold-digger!!) and yet his notions about him needing to have higher "status" and earnings in order to save face had him turning her down unless she quit her job.
So he wasn't being smart, he was being an idiot and doing the exact opposite of the right thing: Now if that dumbass gets a different chick who he tried to impress because he has higher earnings at the time they meet (making it even more beta if he's someone else's employee instead of running his own business), he got rid of the chick who wanted him for non-monetary reasons, and he'll have a wife that's much more likely to dump him if he loses his money (or if she gets higher earnings, like the chick who wanted to marry him when she was actually earning more).