Visiting the Philippines! My Story.

Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags Image after uploading them to a third party site.
polya
Junior Poster
Posts: 850
Joined: January 8th, 2008, 11:21 pm

Post by polya »

Devil Dog wrote:
polya wrote:So what's next? Are you going to return soon or are you going to get married?

I personally feel you're making a mistake settling for one girl. Local men have many girls on the go. How do you know you won't find a girl you like better? This is the problem with silly, "loyal" guys - you're just dummies who don't look for better girls, while girls in the US are always looking for a better guy - this is called hyperagency.
I wouldn't be so quick to assume that he is making a mistake. She is graduating from college (intelligent and ambitious) and is a decent looking girl, assuming she is the one pictured in the avatar. I realize that many HA posters feel threatened by intelligence and ambition in a woman, but some see those as positive qualities.

Loyalty does not necessarily equate with being easily manipulated. If loyalty is silly then disloyalty must be smart. But only for a male. If a female is disloyal then she would be a slut. Gotta love that HA logic.
Not at all - if you're spending thousands travelling, its dumb to go all that way for one girl - you might hate eachother when you meet. I didn't mean to be a "slut" - just to have several girls to meet so there's chance one will be right. He's not married yet so he can meet other girls. I got this idea from one of Steve Hoca's interview and the ebook on the Phillippines.
"Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal... If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters." Cato the Elder
Dudevondudenstein
Freshman Poster
Posts: 39
Joined: March 15th, 2013, 7:08 pm
Location: West Virginia

Post by Dudevondudenstein »

It would have been a good idea to have a few other girls on the line in case this didnt work out, but I am glad I don't have to worry about it now. Things are still going great.
polya
Junior Poster
Posts: 850
Joined: January 8th, 2008, 11:21 pm

Post by polya »

Dudevondudenstein wrote:It would have been a good idea to have a few other girls on the line in case this didnt work out, but I am glad I don't have to worry about it now. Things are still going great.
I'm really happy things have worked out for you. There's many "horror" stories here where guys have gone to other countries and had bad experiences - e.g. viewtopic.php?t=4932 So for any other guy, I'd recommend having several girls to meet before you go and DO meet them all - don't settle for the first "pocessive" girl
"Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal... If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters." Cato the Elder
noog
Freshman Poster
Posts: 206
Joined: July 25th, 2012, 7:43 pm
Location: The Midwestern Wasteland

Post by noog »

Congrats Carl! Enjoy your time in the Philippines!
"Take a bold and unconventional action, then you'll find out who your friends are."

"Trying to find good American women is like trying to ice skate in a volcano."
pete98146
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1130
Joined: June 22nd, 2009, 8:31 am

Post by pete98146 »

polya wrote:
Devil Dog wrote:
polya wrote:So what's next? Are you going to return soon or are you going to get married?

I personally feel you're making a mistake settling for one girl. Local men have many girls on the go. How do you know you won't find a girl you like better? This is the problem with silly, "loyal" guys - you're just dummies who don't look for better girls, while girls in the US are always looking for a better guy - this is called hyperagency.
I wouldn't be so quick to assume that he is making a mistake. She is graduating from college (intelligent and ambitious) and is a decent looking girl, assuming she is the one pictured in the avatar. I realize that many HA posters feel threatened by intelligence and ambition in a woman, but some see those as positive qualities.

Loyalty does not necessarily equate with being easily manipulated. If loyalty is silly then disloyalty must be smart. But only for a male. If a female is disloyal then she would be a slut. Gotta love that HA logic.
Not at all - if you're spending thousands travelling, its dumb to go all that way for one girl - you might hate eachother when you meet. I didn't mean to be a "slut" - just to have several girls to meet so there's chance one will be right. He's not married yet so he can meet other girls. I got this idea from one of Steve Hoca's interview and the ebook on the Phillippines.
A couple of things:

1. Congrats Carl. In my opinion you are doing things the correct way ie 1. Talk to enough girls online until you find one that you hit it off with. 2. Take your time and make sure she's the right girl for you. So far so good and she looks like a real sweetheart 3. Focusing on one girl is perfectly acceptable. Why screw around if you find gold?

2. Am I the only person that shudders when I see or read the following words: Steve Hoca? He's written an Ebook about the Phillippines only after one visit? Wow. Guess he's the real expert and he's married to his filipina girl of his dreams....oh wait....he's not. If a guy where to buy an Ebook about the filipinas, wouldn't it make sense to buy it from a guy who's actually had some success there? If I were in a market about how to whine, Steve Hoca would be my boy. "How to Whine like a Pro" by Steve Hoca....now we are talking. That's his area of expertise.
jboy
Freshman Poster
Posts: 351
Joined: December 27th, 2012, 1:20 am

Post by jboy »

pete98146 wrote:
polya wrote:
Devil Dog wrote:
polya wrote:So what's next? Are you going to return soon or are you going to get married?

I personally feel you're making a mistake settling for one girl. Local men have many girls on the go. How do you know you won't find a girl you like better? This is the problem with silly, "loyal" guys - you're just dummies who don't look for better girls, while girls in the US are always looking for a better guy - this is called hyperagency.
I wouldn't be so quick to assume that he is making a mistake. She is graduating from college (intelligent and ambitious) and is a decent looking girl, assuming she is the one pictured in the avatar. I realize that many HA posters feel threatened by intelligence and ambition in a woman, but some see those as positive qualities.

Loyalty does not necessarily equate with being easily manipulated. If loyalty is silly then disloyalty must be smart. But only for a male. If a female is disloyal then she would be a slut. Gotta love that HA logic.
Not at all - if you're spending thousands travelling, its dumb to go all that way for one girl - you might hate eachother when you meet. I didn't mean to be a "slut" - just to have several girls to meet so there's chance one will be right. He's not married yet so he can meet other girls. I got this idea from one of Steve Hoca's interview and the ebook on the Phillippines.
A couple of things:

1. Congrats Carl. In my opinion you are doing things the correct way ie 1. Talk to enough girls online until you find one that you hit it off with. 2. Take your time and make sure she's the right girl for you. So far so good and she looks like a real sweetheart 3. Focusing on one girl is perfectly acceptable. Why screw around if you find gold?

2. Am I the only person that shudders when I see or read the following words: Steve Hoca? He's written an Ebook about the Phillippines only after one visit? Wow. Guess he's the real expert and he's married to his filipina girl of his dreams....oh wait....he's not. If a guy where to buy an Ebook about the filipinas, wouldn't it make sense to buy it from a guy who's actually had some success there? If I were in a market about how to whine, Steve Hoca would be my boy. "How to Whine like a Pro" by Steve Hoca....now we are talking. That's his area of expertise.

Lol you nailed it right there Pete! Mind if you'd write an ebook?
OutWest
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2429
Joined: March 19th, 2011, 12:09 am
Location: Asia/USA

Post by OutWest »

pete98146 wrote:
polya wrote:
Devil Dog wrote:
polya wrote:So what's next? Are you going to return soon or are you going to get married?

I personally feel you're making a mistake settling for one girl. Local men have many girls on the go. How do you know you won't find a girl you like better? This is the problem with silly, "loyal" guys - you're just dummies who don't look for better girls, while girls in the US are always looking for a better guy - this is called hyperagency.
I wouldn't be so quick to assume that he is making a mistake. She is graduating from college (intelligent and ambitious) and is a decent looking girl, assuming she is the one pictured in the avatar. I realize that many HA posters feel threatened by intelligence and ambition in a woman, but some see those as positive qualities.

Loyalty does not necessarily equate with being easily manipulated. If loyalty is silly then disloyalty must be smart. But only for a male. If a female is disloyal then she would be a slut. Gotta love that HA logic.
Not at all - if you're spending thousands travelling, its dumb to go all that way for one girl - you might hate eachother when you meet. I didn't mean to be a "slut" - just to have several girls to meet so there's chance one will be right. He's not married yet so he can meet other girls. I got this idea from one of Steve Hoca's interview and the ebook on the Phillippines.
A couple of things:

1. Congrats Carl. In my opinion you are doing things the correct way ie 1. Talk to enough girls online until you find one that you hit it off with. 2. Take your time and make sure she's the right girl for you. So far so good and she looks like a real sweetheart 3. Focusing on one girl is perfectly acceptable. Why screw around if you find gold?

2. Am I the only person that shudders when I see or read the following words: Steve Hoca? He's written an Ebook about the Phillippines only after one visit? Wow. Guess he's the real expert and he's married to his filipina girl of his dreams....oh wait....he's not. If a guy where to buy an Ebook about the filipinas, wouldn't it make sense to buy it from a guy who's actually had some success there? If I were in a market about how to whine, Steve Hoca would be my boy. "How to Whine like a Pro" by Steve Hoca....now we are talking. That's his area of expertise.
Pete-

I see you have noticed how silly that is...some people can barely wait to put their "stamp" on something, even if they know jackshit about it. However, Hoca might be on to something. Maybe he sees that most people do not want reality or solutions, they want some kind of BS fairy tale, and that may be his area as you say. As you know, I have quite a bit of time in here- a decent home here, and a way beyond decent (smile!) lovely that puts up with me and SOMEHOW humored herself into marrying me...LOL ...I have a family history in the Philippines that goes back to 1945, and about a decade of experience here myself..however, I am not inclined to write an ebook or otherwise.

For most here, their orientation is towards the monger life, and since that is not my deal, I likely have little to offer them.
I did act as a matchmaker for a friend of mine- well actually it was more my wife...and that one took...they have been married for a few months now. The OP seems like an OK man...perhaps he will realize he is playing to the wrong audience.

Outwest
jboy
Freshman Poster
Posts: 351
Joined: December 27th, 2012, 1:20 am

Post by jboy »

OutWest wrote:
pete98146 wrote:
polya wrote:
Devil Dog wrote:
polya wrote:So what's next? Are you going to return soon or are you going to get married?

I personally feel you're making a mistake settling for one girl. Local men have many girls on the go. How do you know you won't find a girl you like better? This is the problem with silly, "loyal" guys - you're just dummies who don't look for better girls, while girls in the US are always looking for a better guy - this is called hyperagency.
I wouldn't be so quick to assume that he is making a mistake. She is graduating from college (intelligent and ambitious) and is a decent looking girl, assuming she is the one pictured in the avatar. I realize that many HA posters feel threatened by intelligence and ambition in a woman, but some see those as positive qualities.

Loyalty does not necessarily equate with being easily manipulated. If loyalty is silly then disloyalty must be smart. But only for a male. If a female is disloyal then she would be a slut. Gotta love that HA logic.
Not at all - if you're spending thousands travelling, its dumb to go all that way for one girl - you might hate eachother when you meet. I didn't mean to be a "slut" - just to have several girls to meet so there's chance one will be right. He's not married yet so he can meet other girls. I got this idea from one of Steve Hoca's interview and the ebook on the Phillippines.
A couple of things:

1. Congrats Carl. In my opinion you are doing things the correct way ie 1. Talk to enough girls online until you find one that you hit it off with. 2. Take your time and make sure she's the right girl for you. So far so good and she looks like a real sweetheart 3. Focusing on one girl is perfectly acceptable. Why screw around if you find gold?

2. Am I the only person that shudders when I see or read the following words: Steve Hoca? He's written an Ebook about the Phillippines only after one visit? Wow. Guess he's the real expert and he's married to his filipina girl of his dreams....oh wait....he's not. If a guy where to buy an Ebook about the filipinas, wouldn't it make sense to buy it from a guy who's actually had some success there? If I were in a market about how to whine, Steve Hoca would be my boy. "How to Whine like a Pro" by Steve Hoca....now we are talking. That's his area of expertise.
Pete-

I see you have noticed how silly that is...some people can barely wait to put their "stamp" on something, even if they know jackshit about it. However, Hoca might be on to something. Maybe he sees that most people do not want reality or solutions, they want some kind of BS fairy tale, and that may be his area as you say. As you know, I have quite a bit of time in here- a decent home here, and a way beyond decent (smile!) lovely that puts up with me and SOMEHOW humored herself into marrying me...LOL ...I have a family history in the Philippines that goes back to 1945, and about a decade of experience here myself..however, I am not inclined to write an ebook or otherwise.

For most here, their orientation is towards the monger life, and since that is not my deal, I likely have little to offer them.
I did act as a matchmaker for a friend of mine- well actually it was more my wife...and that one took...they have been married for a few months now. The OP seems like an OK man...perhaps he will realize he is playing to the wrong audience.

Outwest
+1

We need more inspirations like you and Pete on here but I support and agree how you are careful with the info you share on this forum on how to woo and handle pinays, imo, the less they get contaminated by the degenerate types the better for sincere men out there.
Jacaré
Freshman Poster
Posts: 222
Joined: August 8th, 2011, 4:05 pm

Post by Jacaré »

First of all, welcome to the forum Carl! That's great to see fresh new blood who embody the true original and perhaps utopian meaning of this forum. Awesome to see you're enjoying yourself there and more importantly, that you've found a great, educated girl from a good family in Davao! (See Winston, it's possible to meet decent middle class women in the Phils, but outside of AC!)...

Carl,
I would only offer a couple of warnings tough:
- do not rush things over! Take your time, to really get to know her, her family, her values and all. And this is not going to be achieved with 2 months spent together but rather at least a year or 2 of being together. Ideally, to really put all the odds in your favor to succeed, you should find a way to spend a year in the Phils. As you've noticed, it's not very expensive there and with about 1 to 1.5k/month, you could live a very comfortable lifestyle in most of the Phils. So get about 15k saved up and spend a year living in the Phils, day to day with her and then you will really get to know her and really understand if there is a true connection and potential for something more.

2) understand that while you have noble and honest desire to find a good woman to start a family with, the pinay girls are also fishing for a way out of their country and their misery. So for them, they have way more to gain with a good honest western man than we do. So always keep that in mind.

Enjoy your time there, have fun, go out and explore the Philippines, it's a great country with stunning scenery and very warm and kind people. You'll have a blast I'm sure. Looking forward to reading more of your posts from the ground!

Cheers!
Dudevondudenstein
Freshman Poster
Posts: 39
Joined: March 15th, 2013, 7:08 pm
Location: West Virginia

Post by Dudevondudenstein »

Thanks for all of the replies. I have been talking to the girl I am now living with and engaged to for almost two years online before we met. I do not think she is just looking for a way out of the Philippines. She said if we were not planning to get married then she would join her aunt, and brother in Japan. (Her sister has an English teaching degree and will also be going to Japan to work soon)

I told her and her family that I am on a tight budget for my visit here and her family actually sent her money to take me to some of the local places to try some of the fruit and foods they suggested here. It is hard to believe how nice every one is here.

About my Travels

If any of you are planning a visit to the Philippines or a return trip then I would like to suggest you visit Cebu City. Cebu is a far better place to visit than Manila. Manila is dirty, crowded and over priced. In Cebu there is less traffic, Taxi drivers always use the meter, hotels are half the price of ones in Manila and it just doesn't seem like as many people are trying to make money off of you. We enjoyed our time in Cebu much more than our time in Manila.
JimmyC
Freshman Poster
Posts: 10
Joined: May 9th, 2013, 5:16 pm
Location: Oregon, USA

Post by JimmyC »

Dudevondudenstein wrote:If any of you are planning a visit to the Philippines or a return trip then I would like to suggest you visit Cebu City. Cebu is a far better place to visit than Manila. Manila is dirty, crowded and over priced. In Cebu there is less traffic, Taxi drivers always use the meter, hotels are half the price of ones in Manila and it just doesn't seem like as many people are trying to make money off of you. We enjoyed our time in Cebu much more than our time in Manila.
I second this. If at all possible get away from the big cities if you want to see the real Philippines. On my first visit to PH my GF (and soon-to-be fiance) invited me to her parents joint birthday party on her home island. I admit I was a little worried about trudging off into the wilds of Mindanao but her family treated me like one of their own, and I don't think a rock star ever got more attention than I did. Their friendship and generosity made me blink in disbelief at times. You won't see this at a bikini bar in Angelos. 8)
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saiyankevin
Freshman Poster
Posts: 1
Joined: July 22nd, 2013, 9:46 am

Post by saiyankevin »

Dudevondudenstein wrote:It would have been a good idea to have a few other girls on the line in case this didnt work out, but I am glad I don't have to worry about it now. Things are still going great.
I think it is great that you feel you have found the one. Filipinas are strong, loving and loyal women. I really hope things work out for both of you. Stay strong.
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