Falcon is a strange bird but we can learn from him (Photos)
Posted: September 3rd, 2013, 7:51 am
(Submitted with Falcon's permission)
We met-up recently in Taipei for a couple of days. Had some interesting times and conversations.
1. Falcon is from a blue KMT family background with ties to Taipei and the urban north. His relatives speak Mandarin at home. In contrast, Winston is from a strongly green DPP background with ties to Chiayi and the rural south. His relatives speak Hokkien and some seem to be fiercely pro-Taiwan independence. Of course Winston himself doesn't care about any of this.
2. But the bird man himself is a salt-of-the-earth at heart. Here in Asia, he lacks confidence around young mainstream girls but feels energized around poor and marginalized ones who make him feel attractive and special. He also sympathizes with them for often being looked down on or ignored by the broader society. And he is even attracted to them physically. He appreciates short, dark, and mature types, the opposite of what most guys here are drawn too. After my last ex gf (who he met) saw various photos of his collection from Thailand, all she could say is, "I feel like my eyes have been raped". I think SE Asia is going to be a real paradise for him!
- In Taipei, he was strongly attracted to his grandma's 33 yr. old 4'11" inch Indonesian care giver whom he bonded with during his days here. That's all he could seem to talk about over half the time we hung out. Of course she dug him too, big time!
- In Thailand, his favorite 2 girls so far are a short young Chinese Burmese waitress from a Sichuanese restaurant and a middle aged 4'11" dark skinned Issan girl.
- I got a message from him today about his first night in Angeles. Sounds just like Winston when he first hit the ground there many moons ago - "I went inside one of the clubs/bars on Walking Street, Angeles last night, and the ladies were all over me! At least 7 or 8 of them were surrounding me and competing for my attention ... it was a such a surreal, incredible experience. Really silly and wild flirting, with plenty of giggling... Many of the other guys were elderly white guys or middle-aged Korean guys who didn't speak very good English. They were with maybe 1, 2, or 3 ladies at most, and didn't get surrounded by huge crowds of ladies like I did."
- While he and I were in the 24 hour Eslite bookstore in Taipei, I approached a tall, attractive, and classy National Taiwan University PoliSci student and eventually brought Falcon into the conversation. I think she would have been a dream match for him in his parent's eyes. But all he could manage in the way of convo was to pull out his camera to show and tell her about his dark campesino ex from Mexico and then show her more photos of animal looking people from the anthropological book he had just purchased, "The World Until Yesterday". He was just not in his element even though she was a nice, highly educated, and fairly down to earth type in spite of being quite tall and attractive.
3. When it comes to Taipei women, he seems to be put-off by what he calls 公主病 from Jay Zhou or princess syndrome. He doesn't like how the protocol in places like Xinyi or the Eastern District is for guys to dress smart, carry their date's bags, open car doors for her, and act the refined and polite gentleman. He likes it casual country style where girls are completely down to earth, serving and deferring to their men old school style. BTW, when I visited his grandma's house, his Indonesian crush made us rice plates of some great tasting spicy Indonesian food. That's the kinda thing which excites Falcon.
4.Growing up in an area of the US with a high concentration of Asian Americans seems to have deeply affected his confidence around girls who look anything like the ones back home. So he was shocked that the Chinese Indo girls I introduced him to in Bangkok who all could pass for Asian Americans were bothered by his lack of attention to them instead of his nerdiness, lol. Since young NE Asian urban types at first glance look a lot like this too, he seems not to be comfortable around them. On the other hand, girls who look different, reassure him that he's tall and attractive, and shower him with flirtatious attention just blow his mind away. Now add to that his physical preferences and it's easy to see the path of least resistance is to go for the poor, dark, short, older, and/or disenfranchised girls of SE Asian descent.
5. Monkro is also an Asian American (Indian) from a similar background and area as Falcon and suffered socially more or less in the same way. But in his HA journey, he responded quite differently since he's rather picky about looks and is very much into the attractive NE Asian look. When he hit the ground here, he put in enough time and effort to discover that Taipei girls, while similar on the surface, are a whole different breed than their American raised cousins. In fact, he wrote a What's App message to Falcon welcoming him to the "dating paradise of Taipei" lol and giving him a bunch of pointers and encouragement. As I later explained to Monkro, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink". The opportunities he could have here with regular young mainstream Taipei girls is totally lost on him. Even though he's keen to try, it's not a good fit for him. Why?
6. Because, he wants that reassurance you get when you stand-out the way a rich, tall and extremely handsome guy does. Backward areas can kinda put you on that pedestal given the relative nature of looks, wealth, and height. But in Taipei, he would have to put in some real work. Expectations, while different from women Stateside, are still high. Both my last ex (who Falcon met) and his 20 something Taiwanese cousin told me Falcon is not the type that Taipei girls would be initially attracted to. Because he lacks confidence and it shows. At 6 feet even, he does not stand-out as being very tall. He's a down to earth type when it comes to dress and grooming style. And ABCs today don't impress in Taipei they way they would have when Falcon's parent's were his age. Both my ex and his cousin told me that Taipei girls don't generally want the exaggerated swagger popular with American girls but they do want a guy who is comfortable in his own skin, sure of himself, and non-hesitant or shaky. Falcon's cousin went on to tell me that if a Taiwan girl had the chance to know Falcon better and learn about all his language talents and intellectual achievements, she might become attracted to him based on those things. But when I relayed this to bird man, he brushed it off as something that just gets him friend zoned in States. He simply does not have the patience or inclination to give Taipei a full shot the way Monkro did.
7. What can we learn from Falcon? Well, if we can't eliminate our desires ala the Buddhist past, perhaps we can adjust them to something much easier to realize. He has the uncanny ability to look beyond the appearance and material aspects of people and see them at the soul level. I think any young, middle aged, or old guy who can do this is going to find a very easy time being truly Happier Abroad in any one of dozens of different countries. Falcon will be in paradise in SE Asia. He will find a rich assortment of opportunities to experience local hospitality, language, and culture at deep levels and never have a shortage of willing and available women he finds attractive. He will have it all there.
8. Link to 5 Photos - http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welc ... XLZo0cN2Eh
We met-up recently in Taipei for a couple of days. Had some interesting times and conversations.
1. Falcon is from a blue KMT family background with ties to Taipei and the urban north. His relatives speak Mandarin at home. In contrast, Winston is from a strongly green DPP background with ties to Chiayi and the rural south. His relatives speak Hokkien and some seem to be fiercely pro-Taiwan independence. Of course Winston himself doesn't care about any of this.
2. But the bird man himself is a salt-of-the-earth at heart. Here in Asia, he lacks confidence around young mainstream girls but feels energized around poor and marginalized ones who make him feel attractive and special. He also sympathizes with them for often being looked down on or ignored by the broader society. And he is even attracted to them physically. He appreciates short, dark, and mature types, the opposite of what most guys here are drawn too. After my last ex gf (who he met) saw various photos of his collection from Thailand, all she could say is, "I feel like my eyes have been raped". I think SE Asia is going to be a real paradise for him!
- In Taipei, he was strongly attracted to his grandma's 33 yr. old 4'11" inch Indonesian care giver whom he bonded with during his days here. That's all he could seem to talk about over half the time we hung out. Of course she dug him too, big time!
- In Thailand, his favorite 2 girls so far are a short young Chinese Burmese waitress from a Sichuanese restaurant and a middle aged 4'11" dark skinned Issan girl.
- I got a message from him today about his first night in Angeles. Sounds just like Winston when he first hit the ground there many moons ago - "I went inside one of the clubs/bars on Walking Street, Angeles last night, and the ladies were all over me! At least 7 or 8 of them were surrounding me and competing for my attention ... it was a such a surreal, incredible experience. Really silly and wild flirting, with plenty of giggling... Many of the other guys were elderly white guys or middle-aged Korean guys who didn't speak very good English. They were with maybe 1, 2, or 3 ladies at most, and didn't get surrounded by huge crowds of ladies like I did."
- While he and I were in the 24 hour Eslite bookstore in Taipei, I approached a tall, attractive, and classy National Taiwan University PoliSci student and eventually brought Falcon into the conversation. I think she would have been a dream match for him in his parent's eyes. But all he could manage in the way of convo was to pull out his camera to show and tell her about his dark campesino ex from Mexico and then show her more photos of animal looking people from the anthropological book he had just purchased, "The World Until Yesterday". He was just not in his element even though she was a nice, highly educated, and fairly down to earth type in spite of being quite tall and attractive.
3. When it comes to Taipei women, he seems to be put-off by what he calls 公主病 from Jay Zhou or princess syndrome. He doesn't like how the protocol in places like Xinyi or the Eastern District is for guys to dress smart, carry their date's bags, open car doors for her, and act the refined and polite gentleman. He likes it casual country style where girls are completely down to earth, serving and deferring to their men old school style. BTW, when I visited his grandma's house, his Indonesian crush made us rice plates of some great tasting spicy Indonesian food. That's the kinda thing which excites Falcon.
4.Growing up in an area of the US with a high concentration of Asian Americans seems to have deeply affected his confidence around girls who look anything like the ones back home. So he was shocked that the Chinese Indo girls I introduced him to in Bangkok who all could pass for Asian Americans were bothered by his lack of attention to them instead of his nerdiness, lol. Since young NE Asian urban types at first glance look a lot like this too, he seems not to be comfortable around them. On the other hand, girls who look different, reassure him that he's tall and attractive, and shower him with flirtatious attention just blow his mind away. Now add to that his physical preferences and it's easy to see the path of least resistance is to go for the poor, dark, short, older, and/or disenfranchised girls of SE Asian descent.
5. Monkro is also an Asian American (Indian) from a similar background and area as Falcon and suffered socially more or less in the same way. But in his HA journey, he responded quite differently since he's rather picky about looks and is very much into the attractive NE Asian look. When he hit the ground here, he put in enough time and effort to discover that Taipei girls, while similar on the surface, are a whole different breed than their American raised cousins. In fact, he wrote a What's App message to Falcon welcoming him to the "dating paradise of Taipei" lol and giving him a bunch of pointers and encouragement. As I later explained to Monkro, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink". The opportunities he could have here with regular young mainstream Taipei girls is totally lost on him. Even though he's keen to try, it's not a good fit for him. Why?
6. Because, he wants that reassurance you get when you stand-out the way a rich, tall and extremely handsome guy does. Backward areas can kinda put you on that pedestal given the relative nature of looks, wealth, and height. But in Taipei, he would have to put in some real work. Expectations, while different from women Stateside, are still high. Both my last ex (who Falcon met) and his 20 something Taiwanese cousin told me Falcon is not the type that Taipei girls would be initially attracted to. Because he lacks confidence and it shows. At 6 feet even, he does not stand-out as being very tall. He's a down to earth type when it comes to dress and grooming style. And ABCs today don't impress in Taipei they way they would have when Falcon's parent's were his age. Both my ex and his cousin told me that Taipei girls don't generally want the exaggerated swagger popular with American girls but they do want a guy who is comfortable in his own skin, sure of himself, and non-hesitant or shaky. Falcon's cousin went on to tell me that if a Taiwan girl had the chance to know Falcon better and learn about all his language talents and intellectual achievements, she might become attracted to him based on those things. But when I relayed this to bird man, he brushed it off as something that just gets him friend zoned in States. He simply does not have the patience or inclination to give Taipei a full shot the way Monkro did.
7. What can we learn from Falcon? Well, if we can't eliminate our desires ala the Buddhist past, perhaps we can adjust them to something much easier to realize. He has the uncanny ability to look beyond the appearance and material aspects of people and see them at the soul level. I think any young, middle aged, or old guy who can do this is going to find a very easy time being truly Happier Abroad in any one of dozens of different countries. Falcon will be in paradise in SE Asia. He will find a rich assortment of opportunities to experience local hospitality, language, and culture at deep levels and never have a shortage of willing and available women he finds attractive. He will have it all there.
8. Link to 5 Photos - http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welc ... XLZo0cN2Eh