ethan_sg wrote:Celery2010,
Many people know that most overseas Chinese, especially those in developed countries, look down on mainland China and have a superiority complex towards them. Being a Happierabroader, my views unsurprisingly go against the status quo. Therefore my views do not represent those of the average Singaporean regarding mainland China. The fact that you seem unaware of this seems to add less credibility to your views on Asia.
Also, I doubt you speak any Mandarin at all, or even if you do, it is at best rudimentary, and heavily restricts the type of Chinese woman you have been able to have a genuine interaction with in China, since as anyone who's been to China knows, the average standard of English is still very low. Overseas Chinese including Singaporeans who speak Chinese and are able to look at China without the typical overseas Chinese prejudice against it are therefore able to immerse themselves far more in Chinese city and interact with far more Chinese women than an average westerner is (with the exception of westerners like Rock, who is able to speak fluent Mandarin).
My dating experiences in Shenzhen have so far been very positive. In my first couple of weeks here, I had already hooked up with my first fling in Shenzhen who I then went on a holiday to Xiamen with during the Chinese New Year holiday. While it was only a fling, like most other Chinese girls I have gotten intimate with, whether in Shanghai, Shenzhen or Guangzhou, she was pretty and college educated yet down to earth and nowhere near as materialistic as women I had previously met in Singapore or other developed Asian cities.
Most other girls I've dated since here in Shenzhen have given me a similar impression as well. While I don't by any means think that Shenzhen could possibly be the best place to date women in China, I believe that factors such as demographics and the living situations of the women tend to play a role as well. It's easy to say to Winston to go to some far off unknown city in China - but while indeed the women may be even friendlier there, keep in mind that Winston only speaks very basic Mandarin - how many girls in these types of cities will be able to speak much English? While there will be a handful who can, how likely is Winston to come into contact with them by random cold approaching on the streets? Practical considerations come into play as well.
While Winston and I will probably go traveling around to explore other cities at some point (I've been to Chengdu twice for instance, and quite like it), my experiences so far tell me that Shenzhen is nowhere near as bad as you make it out to be - personally I've so far found the dating scene here comparable to both Shanghai and Guangzhou - diverse with girls from all over China and yet still mostly down-to-earth compared to places like Singapore, Hong Kong or Tokyo. It's all a matter of degree. Go too far to the other extreme and look for girls in unknown 5th tier cities and yes maybe the girls will be even friendlier, but maybe they will completely lack any level of refinement or sophistication, or maybe they will be so conservative that they will only consider sex after marriage. There are potential risks and downsides too. Not sure how small or large your sample size of dates were in Shenzhen, and even how representative a sample size they were given your status as a passing foreigner who probably speaks little Mandarin, but there is no doubt that my experiences, and to a growing extent, Winston's as well, have been different from yours, and one begins to wonder if you are over-generalizing based on a couple of bad eggs you fleetingly met in Shenzhen. My point isn't that Shenzhen is the best place to date girls in China - given the sheer number of cities in China it is very unlikely to be - but it certainly doesn't seem anywhere near as bad as you the picture you paint.
And by the way QQ is getting kinda out of date in China now - the real social networking app to use now is WeChat - which is again a great way to meet new girls in China. The fact that you are telling Winston to get on QQ also adds less credibility to your views. Also, it seems contradictory that you are encouraging getting on social networking sites but at the same time putting down dating sites - in China they are essentially one and the same thing. In fact Chinese social networking sites are so mainstream in China and there are so many people using them that you almost never see the same profile twice when you use a site over a period of time. It has become a mainstream way to meet new friends and potential new dates. Unfortunately most of these sites are only in Mandarin so it's not really an option for many foreigners out there.
I don't doubt that your experiences have been quite positive in Shenzhen, especially in comparing with Sg.
However, Winston is very different from you or your average asian/overseas asian.
1. He does not have much money
2. He prefers a more laid back, non career oriented woman
3. Winston is older and not exactly a "Casanova" type
4. Winston is a "renaissance" man who prefers to have lots of free time to ponder things and enjoy things.
5. Winston has a very bad tendency to stay in one place, not be adventurous and complain about it incessantly
Let's review:
1. Shenzhen is the most expensive city in China
2. Shenzhen is the most career oriented city in China.
3. A lot of the women he has met in Shenzhen want a house, marriage, etc, an attractive foreigner, etc
I am not saying that Shenzhen is bad for all people or even for Winston.
Just that China is a huge place that he should try to explore (at least a bit) before settling down in one place. I've been telling him to go to China since 2012. He first started in HK. Now he's only made it across the border. Just fearing that he'll get stuck there, complain incessantly about the career oriented girls, how they all want houses, how people are robotic and always working, etc, etc, etc........
and start to complain about Mainland China in general before even exploring the place...
Winston speaks at least low intermediate Mandarin, which will improve over time.
There are many other places where people can speak English, China is a big place. You speak as if Shenzhen is the only "civilized" place in China.
Finally, Winston says:
Also, Ethan_sg just went on a date with a tall hot girl that looks like a model. After the date she came over to his apartment and he ended up scoring with her, on the first date! Dang. That's like at least the third hot girl he's scored with here.
How come that never happens to me no matter how hard I try? Even if a girl likes me she will just hold hands and cuddle.
This means that Winston needs more of an advantage. In Winston's situation (not for other people), i would highly recommend that he try a place that is not the most expensive and most career oriented place in China and more fitted to his personality.
It sounds like Winston would prefer a place where the people are more laid back, there are more people from all over China, reasonably cosmopolitan, lots to see and do, cheaper, friendlier girls who are less demanding in wanting a house or spend all their time at their job.
And China is a definitely big place, no need to limit yourself to Shenzhen, which was known as an SEZ (special economic zone) for decades, much in the way Hong Kong was.
