praxis22 wrote:I haven't done this for years, (forum life) I'd forgotten places like this existed
Strangely, I only subscribed to add a comment about James Altucher, he's very good. but having had a small look about this place is mad.
You're looking for women, yet you have a great deal of misogyny, and Avatars of women in various states of undress. Not to mention the more lurid pictures from AFA, etc.
Perhaps I should explain, I'm in the process, ZAGS permitting, I'll be married early this year to a woman with a two year old son, and I will have an instant family, that will be good.
However, this isn't cheap, no matter how you do it, it isn't cheap, it will cost you, (conservative estimate) approx $10-16K, You're going to need a house/apartment and a steady job, which given the state of the global financial system going forward may be rough.
If you are living in America, you're going to be burning a lot of money on phone calls, I'm averaging 1-2 trips a month to Ukraine, and I'm still burning through money on the phone.
Pro-Tip: you can buy a cheap SIM in Ukraine on the Life:) (the smiley is part of the brand/name, it's red.) network, which allows her to call you at a fraction of the price you call her, it cost 15gr, (12 copeks a minute) Also in country it's the best network to be on, good internet connection. Make sure you pack an Android phone, Google translate and maps are life savers. Also, you can use Google talk, (buy her an android phone) to save on SMS charges, which mount up, and then you don't have a 140 character limit.
If you're doing phone calls, you're going to have to deal with a long distance relationship, that is hard, even at close proximity like I am it's still hard, for both of you.
You need to understand the culture, there is Russian Culture, there is Ukrainian culture, for the simple reason that you can take the woman out of the country but you cannot take the country out of the woman. I had problems at the start, because I still didn't understand what was expected, so I defaulted to being a Western, "feminised" man, that only serves to get up their nose, and they are not used to men agreeing with them, at least not for an easy life like we do.
It is my contention/opinion that the reason why Western men get scammed so much is because they don't act like men, not the men these women are used to, and these women live and breathe men, if they're not married by the time they're 25 they are unlikely to get married at all. Beauty is the least of their assets, they are incredibly well educated, my Fiancée speaks three languages and is learning a fourth, they are cultured, love to read, (when was the last time you read a book for pleasure?) They are schooled in the classics from an early age. And then they are placed in front of a Westerner, who thinks he can buy her, and offers to buy whatever she looks at. She looks at you, sees you are weak, dismisses you and takes the gifts/money. And it is easy money, not only that they can go on courses to learn how to press your buttons, you're a fungible resource.
If you want the girl, you're going to have to grow up and be a man, as she understands them, because only when she thinks you're a man, will she feel safe being a woman. Otherwise it's a dog eat dog world out there and she's probably getting paid 1-2000gr ($1-200) a month, Average rent, $3-500, this is why she still lives with her family, so they can split the rent. If you don't understand this, you will be taken like a rookie. I had to fight for that insight, benefit from it, "a man is known by his actions"
A good start would be here:
(though I think there is a newer edition)
7 steps to manhood:
'Fixing it' with your father. - Alive or dead he's all you've got.
Finding sacredness in your sexuality. - Ditch the p**n.
Meeting your partner in equal terms. - Your wife is not your mother.
Engage actively with your kids. - Be the role model you wanted, play.
Learning to have real male friends. - You need emotional support.
Finding your heart in your work. - Love what you do.
Freeing the wild spirit. - Get outside, commune, forget your fears.
If you are seriously thinking of going, and statistically, only 10% that write will go, then by all means go on a tour, the first time, get a feel. But then go read "a girl like me, 2005" by Elena Solomon, (she runs Elena's models, Russian, married a white South African) you can find it for free on pdf sharing sites. Or pay for it. There was another one I paid for, "so you want to marry a Ukrainian lady" or something like that, mostly for background. You need to understand the culture.
Also understand the agency model, they know if you go to see one woman, you fail and get discouraged they lose a customer. If you're a woman, and you don't meet the guy at the airport, and watch him leave from the airport, then you can be sure he's going to see other women, kid in the candy store style, "you cannot bargain for love" nor can you audition or interview for it. If you're serious about this, do as Elena suggests, go see one woman at a time. Rent an apartment. No woman will join you in your hotel room, only hoes do that.
You are not buying a woman, you are looking for a wife, and the mother of your kids. (Because if you're looking for a woman of child bearing age, 19 -40, and they don't already have a lot of kids, they are going to want one, and want one with you.) If a woman came up to you in a bar, wearing daisy dukes and a bikini, you'd think she was easy, didn't respect herself. So why are you looking at/interested in profiles with public bikini pictures? I'm sure you see what I'm getting at. Sure the bikini pictures are hot, but that's a fantasy, not a real woman, not a real relationship.
For those that make the trip, however you make it, I wish you luck, the rest of you should probably go back to surfing the NSFW board.