I feel like a fish in a tank

[jananan]

A little about me:
Chinese born in the Philippines, moved to California when I was 9, fell in love, became "whitewashed", then got disillusioned by the "greatness" that America so proudly advertises, then became disgusted, angry, and used.


The main stuff:
I'm a college student and like what most college age students do (usually), they study so that they may find a good job. In other words, becoming a cog of the bigger machine so that we college age students may survive.

I just realized that I feel like a fish living in a tank. If you have ever kept an aquarium, you will know that the fish will be stuck in the tank for the rest of their life. Sure, the responsible owner makes tank life as comfortable as they can, but when you think about it.... you're stuck in there forever. You are bound by the rules of the tank. You won't go out into the sea or lakes.... you will never, ever taste true freedom. Just like Nemo being stuck in the tank.

It is also why I refuse to make kids. Dating and adopting is fine but making kids is bad. To make kids is to put them in the tank. You just put people into a life of tankhood with your own hands. And thus the cycle continues. It is also why I'm not really too fond of being alive in this day and age. Now don't take this as being suicidal. I'm just very unhappy with the way things are and wish I had a choice, before I was born, in choosing the right family, the right ethnicity/race, the right whatever, etc

THE BIG QUESTION IS..... HOW DOES ONE BECOME FREE? HOW DOES ONE GET OUT OF THE FISH TANK?

[Jester]

You sound like you need a year off from school, proving yourself in the "real" world.

If you can, get yourself a job in Boracay, doing anything.

--Boracay is known all over the world so it will look good on your record
--Since Boracay sounds classy, your parents will support you doing that. Tell them you want a little "real-world experience" before you graduate, so you'll be "more competitive in the job market."
--Get certified as a dive instructor, just for the sense of accomplishment
--If you do that you will be literally a fish "out of the aquarium".

If you aren't certified now, you can scrub barnacles off boats, be a bellboy, whatever.

PS welcome to the forum. Stay in touch and don't go postal.

[jananan]

Hey there, I appreciate your reply

I tried being out of college for about 2 years actually. I hated it. All I could find were shitty jobs with shitty coworkers and shitty bosses (yeah, that's a lot of shitty). So I decided to go back to college. Is is waaaaaay better, but still not good enough. The rich kids (usually white) are able to afford not being serious about their studies and can do whatever their hearts desire, because they can afford it. The inequality here in the US is outrageous. Sometimes you see one place thats very ghetto and on the other side you see a very nice place. You ask yourself "Where does all that money go?" Into their superficial materialism

I don't want to go to another fishtank that's just more compatible with the type of fish I am. I want to go out into the ocean, where there's unlimited space and unlimited freedom. There is no gigantic owner ruling over you and feeding you whatever the owner feels like feeding you. It's just you, your wits, your capabilities, and Mother Nature


This is what freedom to me looks like:

Living alone in Alaska
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq0rZn8HFmQ

Mongolian nomadic life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biyR2df2Hlg

Buddhist monk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLvU7pp ... tJm0Ff_gyQ

Sure, life is harder and simpler but I am free to choose how I want to spend my time. I do NOT like the illusions of comfort and progress that civilization so proudly advertises and give. I'd rather be where we were meant to be... with the ocean, with Mother Nature. There is something beautiful about the Old that the New cannot copy