Happier Abroad Forum Community

Hey guys....Philippines expat and new member checking in. Late 40's American guy living near Cebu for 6 years with Filipino wife and our kid. Looking at other countries and options now, and I stumbled onto this website. Hope I can contribute something to the forum.

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Ghost wrote:Why do you want to change countries?

With years in the Philippines, I can make some good guesses. We still keep our home not far from Cagayan de Oro, but there are legitimate factors to make one diversify.

A short list would include corruption, a beat up dumpy infrastructure, security issues and restrictions on foreign business activity or property ownership. Most of theses have work-arounds, but they still wear on you.

We have a rural property in Oregon, and as Filipinos with money frequently do, my father in law bought a house overseas, in California. Even Filipinos create option s when they can.

Those are good guesses! But the reality is that I don't appreciate the local culture as much as many others living here do. Filipinos are mostly fake, disingenuous, opportunistic, and insincere....and that's not a reflection on me or the one's I have chosen to befriend. It's the reality of the culture. Most guys really couldn't care less WHY the locals are nice to them or WHAT their intentions are. They are just happy to be getting laid and feeling relevant again. Maybe I will feel differently when I'm pensioner age, but I value sincerity, honesty, and decency above all else at this stage of my life, and there's so very little of that here. Plus, trying to raise a kid here is problematic, especially if you don't want them to grow up to be an asshole. Culture will shape them much more than the parents will after a certain age, so it's a uphill battle. Just because a country produces great wives doesn't mean it's a good place to raise kids. It's actually a sign of the opposite. Great vacation place here, but long-term residency isn't for everyone

Don't move out now..Philippines will have its best days in coming years...

It looks to me like the whole thing is going to crap everywhere and we are losing our property rights everywhere as well as our ability to get it paid off.

joesixpack wrote:Those are good guesses! But the reality is that I don't appreciate the local culture as much as many others living here do. Filipinos are mostly fake, disingenuous, opportunistic, and insincere....and that's not a reflection on me or the one's I have chosen to befriend. It's the reality of the culture. Most guys really couldn't care less WHY the locals are nice to them or WHAT their intentions are. They are just happy to be getting laid and feeling relevant again. Maybe I will feel differently when I'm pensioner age, but I value sincerity, honesty, and decency above all else at this stage of my life, and there's so very little of that here. Plus, trying to raise a kid here is problematic, especially if you don't want them to grow up to be an asshole. Culture will shape them much more than the parents will after a certain age, so it's a uphill battle. Just because a country produces great wives doesn't mean it's a good place to raise kids. It's actually a sign of the opposite. Great vacation place here, but long-term residency isn't for everyone

I would include your description as corruption. The political corruption is rooted in the very same social corruption you outline.. after spending quite a bit of time in Oregon as well as traveling to Chile, my wife has concluded that raising our son entirely in the Philippines is not that great an idea.

joesixpack wrote:Maybe I will feel differently when I'm pensioner age, but I value sincerity, honesty, and decency above all else at this stage of my life, and there's so very little of that here. Plus, trying to raise a kid here is problematic, especially if you don't want them to grow up to be an asshole. Culture will shape them much more than the parents will after a certain age, so it's a uphill battle. Just because a country produces great wives doesn't mean it's a good place to raise kids. It's actually a sign of the opposite. Great vacation place here, but long-term residency isn't for everyone

Welcome. No offense but I would be curious where you ultimately find a culture with "sincerity, honesty, and decency above all else." I don't think there is such a place, or more accurately we tend to consider people with like minded perspectives to be more honest than others, probably because we consider their insincerity to be normal.

Ultimately we all have different goals and values and hopefully you will find a place that aligns to your goals and values.

Marcos, what do you think is the maximum size for a city where the values would not be too corrupted? For example, would places like Iloilo or Bacolod (which are roughly the same size) be too big? Or do you think you'd have to live in a much smaller town if you don't want too much decadence?

Marcos.....it's weird how two people can see the exact opposite in a given situation. Your version of Philippines life is just too much like Mayberry and your opinion of America is way off base also. But I get that this forum is mostly one big "America sucks, Philippines is awesome" circle jerk so it's not surprising. It's easy to assume anyone who has a negative opinion of Filipino culture is somehow to blame for that, but that's another fallacy. My in-laws are similar to yours and my wife was well-educated and accomplished before I met her. They are great people, and I don't base my opinions of the local culture on them. But for many years I've interacted with Filipinos from all walks of life, and the one thing 95% of them have in common is a lack of morality. To me that is unacceptable, and once again is not a reflection on me, but an honest assessment of the character of the locals I've dealt with on even terms. For some of us, that's a deal breaker. For other's it's not even an issue. Some expats will even thrive in the corruption. The thin veneer of friendliness is more than enough to please many expats, while others need more substance and depth to their relationships. Just something to think about for those wanting to move abroad to the Philippines.

Joesixpack,
I agree with you. Most Filipinos have no ethics. But the lies they tell are usually white lies. MarcosZeitola does deny a lot of obvious things. But then again, he doesn't spend time in Manila or Angeles City, so he's not as jaded as most expats. I understand how you feel about being in the Philippines too long. But once you leave, you start to miss it. It has a unique vibe with warmness and genuineness. I agree with MarcosZeitola on that. And Ladislav said the vibe there makes him feel like home and very welcome.

There are a lot of negatives in the Philippines and not many you can trust. But you can find a small circle there of people you know and trust if you want, as well as businesses you trust. Once you establish a trusted network and routine, you can be comfortable there if you just stick with those you know and trust. There are people I've known for years there that I trust for the most part.

As for the friendliness and warmness being fake. Well I think yes and no. Yes Filipinos are nice when they want something. However, it is part of their culture to smile and be warm too. So they do it on instinct. Extracting things from others is part of their instinct too. So part of it is genuine and a habit. But of course, there are ulterior motives too. Both are true in my view. The warmness is not totally fake because I can feel the warm vibe from them. So I know it's partly real.

We are already aware that Philippines is not a paradise, no place on earth is. There is a lot of Philosophical, conspiratorial discussion that Winston encourages which helps members here find a place that is BALANCED.

We are seeking Balance not Perfection on earth. It would be completely absurd even begin to think in those terms of perfection, paradise, beauty, great life. Its Ignorance. Seek a Balance in life.

You need Zero-Point Infinity Equation.

Take Minuses and Pluses of Philippines, America, Thailand, China or where ever you want to go.

Give whatever points you want to give from 0 to million, trillion points. For example...

Morality - Philippines -100 America +1000 Thailand +50 Japan +500

Food - America +10 Philippines +5 Thailand +1000 Japan +100

Beach Philippines +1000 America -50 Japan +100

Weather, Education, crime, safety, taxes etc etc...get a tabulation of both positive and negative points of everything that is valuable to your life.

Now sum it all up the points of minus and pluses...The country which is closest to ZERO would be the best place for you.

Its quantum Physics, Spirituality, Material wealth all combined. We all need to be closer to ZERO not away from it with Lots of Positivity which is the mistake majority of people make and then regret it.

Our life revolves around Zero Point Infinity, everything came from it, many call it God, Nirvana, Scientists call it Zero Point Energy.

For me Its Thailand and Philippines...I'm closest to Zero when I'm in these two countries...Give and Take Karma is near zero for me when I go there. I get cheated in Philippines, scammers, over price, bad food but it balances it out with other things that I like.

I know it will. There are no surprises for me in Philippines because i know, it will balance it out, If i have lots of negative experience one day, the next day would be great. It has to, guaranteed by God because I'm near where my Zero Point Field is.

This equation takes out all the surprises in life like you experienced with Philippines. Find where your Zero Point Energy is and your life would be fine. Good Luck

By the way this is the only equation where both Spirituality and Science agrees. ..This point to infinite power and the closer you are to it the better.

Starchild,
I experienced that too. When i was in china, when i got ripoffed or overcharged, the very next day i would get it back somehow, like being undercharged the exact same amount by mistake. It was weird. And it happened several times with precision accuracy. Is that a good sign that karma is protecting me?

Joe, what are exactly are you looking for? You need to be more specific! For example, do you like hot or cold weather? Do you like living in modern or rural places? Do you mind not being accepted into the local culture? I ask, because Asians will never accept non-Asians as being one of them. That's just the way Asians are...

Also, do you prefer Latin, White or Asian culture? If you dislike Asian culture, maybe a White country might be better for you?

As for your comments about the Philippines, I don't think all HA'ers think the country is so great. In fact, we have some real detractors of the country, such as NewlifeinthePhilippines, Rock, Winston and others.

Ultimately, there's no perfect country in the world. There's always positives and negatives to everything in life.

if you dont like people lying, being disrespectful, and scamming dont go to colombia.