Happier Abroad Forum Community

A snip from a post by Bao3niang: Any success stories left? Well I guess this ain't too surprising to me because most on here just want sex so they hook up with less than decent women that end up scamming you and sucking you dry.

That comment strikes me as an example of a person who lacks the ability to delay gratification.

Delayed gratification is defined as the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later (larger) reward. The ability to delay gratification is closely tied to intelligence and maturity. According to a Yale study, a particular part of the brain is tied to the ability to delay gratification, the anterior prefrontal cortex, and it is one of the last brain structures to fully mature. That makes sense. If you offered a 4 year old the choice of one chocolate chip cookie now or a bag of them tomorrow, the 4 year old will probably take the one cookie now.


A tremendous amount of a person's personal, professional and financial success is directly related to the person's ability and willingness to delay gratification. Examples:

Smoke cigarettes now or save $6 per day ($2190 per year)? There's your round trip ticket to Manila (or Bangkok or Jakarta) plus a nice chunk of pocket money. You would go abroad now but you can't afford it now, right?

Bang that bimbo bareback or wait until marriage? Man, that child support gets expensive!

Goof off with your high school buddies or buckle down and make good grades? McDonald's is hiring!

Eat a bag of chips and drink a soda instead of exercising? If only people would stop being so shallow and get to know the real you.

Endure 4 years of being poor while going to college or go out and get a job now? In 2011, the median of earnings for young adults (25-34 years of age) with a bachelor’s degree was $45,000, while the median was $22,900 for those without a high school diploma or its equivalent.

Bang a bargirl every day or go through the effort and uncertainty of finding a good girl? At least you do know what you have when you have a bargirl. Some of you do, anyway.


This is not to say that you have to make every sacrifice every day. Sometimes you need to go out drinking / buy that TV / bang that bimbo / relax instead of working. But if you are taking the path of instant gratification every time, or most of the time, you are holding yourself back in the long run. I recently saw a t shirt which said "Hard work pays off in the future. Goofing off pays off now." Is that you?

And here is something which doesn't play well with the HA majority: The problem is not the educational system / government / jews / American women / Rothschilds / feminists / Illuminati / banking system. If you lack the ability to delay gratification, then your problem is you.

Let the rationalization begin...

I do admit that I can be very desperate, but I am in circumstances that many of you guys would find it hard to understand and picture. My biggest problem: Psycho and weird family members. I know a lot of you complain that you have controlling family members, but my case is very, very extreme.

Here are some examples of the control they have over me:

(A) They would stop me from taxing the taxi, taking the bus, or even taking walks on the street if I told them, and I'm 17 almost 18

(B) When I'm in Chongqing they would simply lock me inside the house, not allowing me to step out the gate

(C) They discourage me eating out, while spending a lot of money on so-called green foods and organic fruits / vegetables (which someone has the benefit of doubt regarding such claims in China)


(D) They want me to become a businessman in Beijing or Shanghai, to marry a perfect Chinese woman that caters to their tastes (I will tell you more about their standards, just PM me)


(E) They force me to perform idolatrous Chinese rituals during Chinese New Year, such as praying to ancestors and etc.


(F) They are suspicious of my normal interaction with peers, giving me a questionnaire every time I meet someone new


(G) Constant verbal abuse, entrapment, guilt trips on issues regarding what they want me to be


(H) They want me to attend a top university in Canada, while community college or a smaller uni is perfectly fine for me as long as I get that degree so I can find a teaching job


(I) When I was younger they would mock me for being shorter than my peers and friends in both China and Canada (I was 5'0 when I turned 13, most of my friends were 5'4+)




Winston's parents let him go when he was older and just accepted the fact. zboy's parents have also accepted the fact that he is not a typical conformist Asian.


I'm afraid if they continue to be like this, I will have to break off almost all OR all contact with them. At this point I'm just pissed to the point that I don't care much about their welfare. Sad, but I have no other choice.

I am a virtuous person and patience is one of my virtues. I can resist temptation and would even reject a 10/10 American girl that seemed nice if she was throwing herself at me. I know what I really want in life so I can resist temptations. I don't buy much either and try to spend a minimal amount of money as possible.

Bao3niang wrote:I do admit that I can be very desperate, but I am in circumstances that many of you guys would find it hard to understand and picture. My biggest problem: Psycho and weird family members. I know a lot of you complain that you have controlling family members, but my case is very, very extreme.

$0.02

Your parents want to be successful like Amy Chua, and whenever you didn't turn out the way they want it, they blame you for their own failure.