Everyone seems to have social anxiety in California

[dancilley]

I used to think that I had social anxiety, social phobia, avoidant personality disorder, etc.

It has always been very difficult for me to initiate conversations and reveal information about myself to people with whom I am not well-acquainted.

So, I do have some kind of mental problem regarding talking to people.

But tell me why...why do people almost never initiate conversations with strangers? Why does no one talk to you in grocery stores, restaurants, on the street, etc.?

It does happen to me, but extremely rarely. For example, people at different tables at restaurants never communicate with each other. You sit right next to someone at a restaurant, and they never say anything. They avoid looking at you. But only about 4 times in 8.5 years of going to restaurants a few times per month in Los Angeles has someone initiated speaking to me or my friend.

So, I believe this means that almost everyone has the same fear of expressing themselves as I do. When I am at a restaurant, I want to talk more loudly than I do, but I don't, because it seems that others are already annoyed by the sound of my voice. In general, I am happier and more positive than my environment, and it seems that I annoy people.

I desire to be social with people around me, but they seem to not care about me. They seem to not desire to speak to me. Or, they have social anxiety.

What do you think?

[fschmidt]

Why do you live in California?

[dancilley]

Why do you live in California?

I am addicted to a Cambodian-born woman who is mentally disabled and is not serious about moving with me to a better location. I am in Skid Row. I have been here and been with her since 2011. I grew up in northern CA.

I have tried to move back to northern CA by myself about 5 times, and Las Vegas 4 times. But every time, I became extremely homesick because I was away from her. The pain was too great.

She is 53 years old and has not had sex with me for 4.5 years. I love her though. But she treats me like she doesn't need me, a lot. She tells me what to do in an irritated tone, as though she has told me a thousand times, when she had never actually communicated to me about that specific preference before. It's insane.

She takes me out to restaurants constantly when she has the money, which is fun because she loves restaurants and appreciates using me as an escort.

I am frustrated and unhappy. I am just wasting away. I am wasting my life. I have not earned almost any income since 2014. I am addicted to her and the internet.

I want to be valuable to good women and become extremely productive and reproductive. I believe that would make me much happier. I need women to be young and housewife-oriented. I also need women to be seriously passionate about creating a polygynous family. I want to be maximally sexually active, every day.

So, this is what is going through my mind lately.

Lately, I gave up the internet, and started to exercise a lot, for hours, and sometimes twice per day, which was great. I was building muscle and running faster and farther. But then I aquired a phone so that I could get a job. But I started watching YouTube, and became lazy again.

I want to become extremely physically fit and powerful, and give women incredible sexual experiences but also impregnate them. I want them to be committed to me for life. After getting to know them extremely well non-physically, I want to get married to them, or form a marriage-like union, then finally engage sexually. Every woman must be conscientious, not smoke, not drink, and eat a whole plant foods diet.

I want to create a lifestyle and a systematic way of living it, so that anyone can become healthy, physically fit, and as sexually active as they desire, if they just follow a step-by-step process.

I believe if everyone lives this way, everyone will be healthy and happy all the time. I want to inspire as many people as I can to live this way. I want to transform America into a truly great place to live. In the short term, I am going to create a gated community in which everyone is polygynous and healthy, joyful, expressive, sexually satisfied, etc.; a place where a man can truly be himself and simultaneously be respected by good, fertile girls and women.

[Cornfed]

Why do you live in California?

I am addicted to a Cambodian-born woman who is mentally disabled and is not serious about moving with me to a better location. I am in Skid Row. I have been here and been with her since 2011. I grew up in northern CA.

I have tried to move back to northern CA by myself about 5 times, and Las Vegas 4 times. But every time, I became extremely homesick because I was away from her. The pain was too great.

She is 53 years old and has not had sex with me for 4.5 years. I love her though. But she treats me like she doesn't need me, a lot. She tells me what to do in an irritated tone, as though she has told me a thousand times, when she had never actually communicated to me about that specific preference before. It's insane.

Yes, your behavior would indeed seem to be insane.

[Winston]

Have you guys noticed that when you're in California theres this toxic vibe that makes you feel constantly irritable, anxious, depressed, frustrated, etc? Its like impossible to have good self-esteem or good mental health there.

You definitely dont feel it as much in other states. Especially inland. For example drive to carson city, nevada and you'll notice a very different vibe. The people there are a lot more cool about talking to a stranger and not paranoid or cold about it. I invite any of you in CA to drive to carson city and you will see what i mean. So the US isnt exactly the same everywhere. Or if u go all the way to Utah you will notice too that the people are ok about talking to strangers and act more good natured and normal, not as toxic as in CA.

I wouldn't be surprised if the black ops government is using electromagnetic weapons on people in California because there definitely is a very different vibe there, even compared to nevada. Plus electromagnetic weapons have been admitted to have been used by both the US and Soviet Union. So its a real thing. Not fiction.

[Winston]

Check this out. It may explain why California feels so toxic and satanic and why it feels impossible to be mentally healthy there. This truther documentary reveals how California and Hollywood were founded in the 1800s. Apparently California has always had occult, pagan roots from its very founding and was never a Christian culture. Not even in the 1800s. It began as a haven for occultists who were persecuted in other states. In fact the founders of Hollywood were occultists too. See the shocking documentary about this below.

[Shemp]

The problem is the observer more than the observed, IMO. I am in California right now (Barstow) and it doesn't feel anxious, because I'm not an anxious person myself. Dan Cilley is going to feel persecuted anywhere. I would advise him to stay in relatively tolerant California, because police and prisons are much harsher elsewhere. Dan definitely doesn't want a confrontation with Louisiana judicial system, for example. Winston probably feels better in Carson City because that isn't far from the Mustang Ranch

[Winston]

The problem is the observer more than the observed, IMO. I am in California right now (Barstow) and it doesn't feel anxious, because I'm not an anxious person myself. Dan Cilley is going to feel persecuted anywhere. I would advise him to stay in relatively tolerant California, because police and prisons are much harsher elsewhere. Dan definitely doesn't want a confrontation with Louisiana judicial system, for example. Winston probably feels better in Carson City because that isn't far from the Mustang Ranch

But then why do you see toxic angry people everywhere in California? As well as unfriendly people who never talk to strangers unless they are selling something? Your theory doesn't explain that or account for that. Why does everyone I know in CA have only one parent and not two like a normal nuclear family? Why is no one down to earth there? And why do most Americans outside of CA agree with me about it? So you see, there's a lot you didn't take into account. You don't see the big picture like wise aware people do.

[dancilley]

in California theres this toxic vibe

There definitely is a negative "vibe" that brings my high energy down. Or, if it is not anything invisible, the negative emotion I feel, or the inability to feel positive emotion, is caused by very few people responding positively to me: people do not smile if I am smiling, most women do not look at me if I am looking at them, no young women ever smile at me. Almost no women ever hit on me, unless the person is an older, overweight black woman (but even that is pretty rare). Seemingly every woman who has initiated a conversation with me due to my looks has been older, overweight, and black. Except, one time there was this non-overweight, older black woman who inquired about the food I was eating.

Older, overweight black women have said these statements to me:

"If you ain't a fish outta water, I don't know what one is."
"Where you from, Costa Mesa?"
"You're too cute to be down here."
"You're a star...!"
"Damn, you tall." (I've gotten this a few times.)

Not-overweight: "Where'd you get the fried chicken?"

Within this homeless food, soup kitchen's outdoor patio, a somewhat overweight, German white girl volunteer said, to me, "You are VERY good looking."

A drunk, older white man on a pier at the beach said, "I am not gay, but you are a very good-looking guy."

A short, fit, older white guy, said, "You could be heavyweight champion of the world if you wanted."

A short, overweight, 79-year-old white guy let me sleep in his Bonaventure hotel for 6 nights when I first came to L.A. in 2011. He met me in the L.A. Mission. He said he was lonely and wanted to help white guys. He said that black people were aggressive, "always wanted something from you," etc.

But most of these statements were many years ago, around 2011, when I had bigger muscles and was 25 years old. And these are pretty much literally all the instances of a person initiating a conversation with me, other than if they are trying to sell me drugs, ask for spare change, just say, "What's up?," or selling something else.

About 1 person on a daily basis asks for spare change in or near Skid Row.

I have been brushed by women many times. The other day, at Union Station, there was a lot of space to walk, and an Asian woman with a teenage daughter brushed against me as she walked past. Lately, I have been working out, so I believe there definitely is a correlation.

Someone just now said, "Creeper!" out of their car window as they passed me...and kept driving as I walked toward them to attempt communication.

Like two weeks ago, at this restaurant in Little Tokyo, a 55+ year old waitress brought me a cup of ice water that was filled 1-inch below the rim, but I ordered iced tea.

A few months ago, in Santa Clarita, at this restaurant, this fit, curvy but thin, white girl waitress who wasn't my waitress, contacted my chair with her foot as she passed by, 3 different times. She did not say anything. She didn't say, "Excuse me," or anything. Then, she came to the table and asked if everything was good, even though we had a different waitress. So, I think she was trying to get my attention without getting rejected. She was signalling me to approach her. I especially think that she was interested due to the fact that I was paying attention to the College Softball World Series on the TV, and a men's college baseball game on another TV. I was pointing to the screens, and commented on what was happening in the games to my girlfriend. THEN...an Asian worker changed the channels of the TV's to the same game...there were 3 or 4 TV's in the place...and I was angered by this...but did not say anything. And she never announced to anyone what she was doing. So, I am very suspicious that this (fit) Asian woman did such a thing on purpose to mess with me...and test to see if I would assert myself. I believe this is their way of "proving" to themselves that I was not as high-value a man as they thought, so their regret, feelings of rejection, stress, etc. subside if they test me and I fail the test. But if I assert myself and pay attention to them, and get angry, at least I paid attention to them, and they feel somewhat better. My animal instinct is to sexually attack them, so I think that is what they want me to do. They are trying their hardest to get me to impregnate them.

An old woman brushed up against me in Whole Foods a few months ago, and she said nothing and acted like nothing happened.

A black woman's cart barely contacted me in Ralph's the other day, and she said nothing.

Every time, the woman never says, "Excuse me" or anything at all.

At Ralphs (grocery store), I asked this Mexican overweight bagger girl 2 times if they had any more of those more expensive, durable bags left. But she ignored me. It was weird.

And at this dentist's office one time, when I was just accompanying my girlfriend and waiting for her to be seen by the dentist, I asked the receptionist if I could go with my girlfriend back with her into the interior to be with her while she was getting her teeth worked on, and the fat receptionist just said, "No" and looked down.

So, I think I frustrate women if I ignore them (because I am good looking and I arouse them purely by being in their environment). They feel very angry if I interact with them without becoming aroused at all myself, so they mess with me, or, if they think they have a chance to attract me, if I am not looking at them, they brush against me. Every time they brush against me, I am not paying attention to them at all and did not know they existed.

So, I think women have huge social anxiety--they don't want to make it clear that they like you, because they don't want to be overtly rejected.

In restaurants, people almost never talk to me or my girlfriend. Only like 4 times ever. People are in their own bubble--there is no sharing of observations or positive emotion between tables. No matter how physically close you are to the other table, people avoid eye contact. I don't understand it.

I thought I had a social anxiety problem...but I am realizing that pretty much everyone seems to be afraid to initiate conversations, at least around here.

I have been approached by women in bars, but I believe the women were under the influence of alcohol.

I have been to Vegas 4 times, and the people on average are definitely significantly more energetic, happy, and open to conversation, I would say.

Also, in restaurants, sometimes we ask for something and they don't bring it. Then we ask again and they don't bring it. Then we ask again and they bring it finally (but we asked a different worker).

And in Santa Clarita (where there's a lot of white people), at a restaurant, one time I asked for those overhead heaters to be turned off. But we had to ask three times. So, I think women purposefully do not serve me properly if they know I am not sexually interested in them; if I treat them like a machine and ask them to get me something, and do not notice their beauty and I am not aroused at all by them, they feel depressed.

So, I think the solution is to literally hit on every woman, but do it in a very discreet way...because, they will deny participating in any flirting if others in the environment know about it. So, I may slip women a business card, and proceed as though nothing happened, and they will be completely happy.

Then, I will flirt with them over text and they will come over to my place and I will give them what they want.

So, as a man, I think you have to just take the initiative. Women don't want to feel ugly and unwanted and desperate. Maybe in CA, due to the internet's widespead use, maybe women are more likely to not initiate communication because rumors can spread fast over the internet...that they opened a conversation with a man, etc. There are many miserable people in CA also it seems who are ready to create news stories on anything interesting another person does, because these haters are very depressed, envious, or just trying to create anything watchable to attract attention, because attention is hard to get due to all the media, technology, etc. that act as competition for getting attention. And there is a lot of people who are miserable themselves who would watch such content.

[Winston]

If anyone doubts me, just drive a little east to Carson City, NV and you will notice a difference. The people there are more relaxed, no one honks at you on the road, and people are glad to talk to strangers, not afraid or uptight about it. Go there and talk to people and you will notice this. The vibe there is much warmer even during the snowy wintertime. It's hard to explain. Go there a few days, enjoy the Nevada state museum, haunted gold mine, railroad museum, and outdoor hot mineral springs, and you will see what I mean. People there don't look uptight and paranoid. They look like Americans were long ago, when they exuded old fashioned positivity and optimism and friendliness.

Am I the only one that's been to Carson City many times? Why have none of you commented on it? It's only 30 min from Reno.

Also if you go to Utah you will experience something similar too.

[Winston]

The problem is the observer more than the observed, IMO. I am in California right now (Barstow) and it doesn't feel anxious, because I'm not an anxious person myself. Dan Cilley is going to feel persecuted anywhere. I would advise him to stay in relatively tolerant California, because police and prisons are much harsher elsewhere. Dan definitely doesn't want a confrontation with Louisiana judicial system, for example. Winston probably feels better in Carson City because that isn't far from the Mustang Ranch

But do people talk to strangers easily there? Do strangers talk to you in Barstow? Even older people? Do people seem relaxed and not uptight and non-paranoid? Do they seem warm? Do waiters in restaurants and cafes there ask you where you are from and make small talk with you, like in New Mexico? Show us some photos of friendly people there please. And I mean friendliness OUTSIDE of social cliques, not within social cliques.

[Shemp]

I'm long gone from Barstow. What I've noticed is that people are more relaxed when cost of living is low, and it's definitely low in Barstow by USA standards. Low cost of living is typically associated with low wages and high unemployment, and the final result is that average people lose ambition and try to enjoy today as best they can without worrying too much about tomorrow. If you are one of the lucky ones who does have money in low cost of living place, then you feel very rich, which is also relaxing. This is typically how westerners with western income feel in SEAsia or small towns of Latin America or Eastern Europe.

Poor but ambitious people in these low cost of living places feel miserable and usually try to leave for someplace they can get ahead. These are the anxious people. I was like that when I was young. Very anxious to get rich quick because I knew I would run out of steam in my 40's, if not sooner. So I moved to big cities like Dallas, Washington and San Francisco, full of other ambitious and anxious people. Now that I'm retired and lacking ambition, I avoid these bustling big cities in favor of places that are economically in the dumps, like Barstow.

Carson City is not economically ailing, but it is top heavy with retirees, which is why it has a relaxed feel.

Plenty of relaxed places in northern California too, such as Alturas or Susanville.