Dating Someone With Kids Vs. Without Kids

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MrMan
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Re: Dating Someone With Kids Vs. Without Kids

Post by MrMan »

patriciawalker3 wrote:
September 22nd, 2013, 6:00 pm
Just want to get everyones opinion. I am a father of 4 kids. It would take a very special gal to accept someone with 4 kids. In my search do you think it is wiser to focus on meeting gals who already have kids? Because only a parent understands what it means to be a parent. I have found the gals who already have kids are looking for someone who will love their kids so the are very open to someone with kids already. However, some of the gals out there who want kids also say they are cool with someone with kids.

Your thoughts?
Where is your kids' mother or mother in this scenario?

I have kids and if my wife were to pass away and I wasn't far too old for it, I would probably want to marry. She'd probably have to be younger, because women as old as I am usually do not look good to me.

If it were me, I'd be looking for virgins or honorable widows who'd only slept with their own husbands. I wouldn't want a woman who though it was no big deal to sleep around.

If you marry a woman with no kids, she'll probably want another baby or two, so be looking at another one or two kids. If you marry one who has a child or children, she may feel grateful for a father-figure for her kids and be invested, for that reason, in keeping the marriage together. But if she's a single mother who slept around, rotating through men might not feel like that big of a deal to her. If she's a one-man kind of woman, then she'll probably stick with you and really be invested. So the honorable widow who channeled all of her sexual energies into her late husband who now channels all of them into her new husband would probably be a better fit.

If you are both widow/widower, then neither of you has to worry about the ex coming along and reconciling. It takes away that competitor with the kids. Her kids may be less likely to have animosity toward you as an opponent to their father who is defiling their father's wife. You don't want to live in the same house with people who hate you. The animosity would probably be worse if you marry a divorced woman than if you married a woman with a string of boyfriends who left kids with her for her to raise.

The widow who was faithful until her husband died is less likely to be the type who is single because she drove her husband away. If she berated and irritated him to an early grave, hopefully you can pick up on that attitude if you are discerning. Especially if you have kids, whether you marry a virgin or a widow, she's got to go into it with the understanding that you are the boss. You can exude the boss vibe and get her following your lead before marriage. You need to be the boss, otherwise, her and her kids may walk all over you. If she is cool with being the submissive wife and getting her kids to obey you, that will help a lot. Of course, you'd have to get your kids to respect her, too.

It would be more complicated if you have kids. You have to see if she gets along with the kids. Now, add her kids to the picture and you have see if they will accept you, and not only that, but do they get along with your kids. If one of your boys has the hots for one of her girls or vice versa, that would be weird. If they can't stand each other, that could be difficult, too. All that has to mesh together well. If you have older girls who would love a little baby step-brother, and she has a toddler, that could work.

If she has no kids, her raising yours is a big favor to you. If she's got kids, you being a dad to her kids is a fair trade off for her being a mom to your kids.

How old your kids are has a lot to do with it.

As you know from the world, all kinds of scenarios exist out there. I doubt people here will know what is more successful.

Btw, why is your name patricia?
Last edited by MrMan on May 8th, 2021, 1:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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mattyman
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Re: Dating Someone With Kids Vs. Without Kids

Post by mattyman »

RE the OP,

my reservations about dating single mums are;
-I'm not ready to be roped-in to being a dad yet, I want to be dating, hanging-out socially
-I don't want to deal with previous partners
-I don't want to be compared to previous partners

That's my reasons I'm reluctant to date single mums. As you can see it's nothing to do with prejudice.
yick
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Posts: 1922
Joined: October 23rd, 2015, 2:11 am

Re: Dating Someone With Kids Vs. Without Kids

Post by yick »

You're 35/36, obviously being a dad is not high on the agenda for you.

You're going to be the oldest codger in the nightclub - if you want to be dating and hanging out socially - you had better get your skates on - most of your peers will be married and with kids - you will be hanging around with kids who have no massive desire to hang around someone 15-20 years older than them.

Over 30 - you end up with single mums, you have a choice though...

The Philippines. Go there.
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Aurelle882
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Re:

Post by Aurelle882 »

jamesbond wrote:
September 28th, 2013, 5:30 am
Dragon wrote:DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT Regroupement de prêt immobilier become emotionally invested with a single mother. DO NOT end up raising another man's seed. Do this and you fail pretty hard.There are a lot of younger, hotter childless women out there DO NOT marry a single mother just because it's easy and she's desperate. I find a lot of the guys who do this lack any sort of self-esteem and self-respect.
Amen, DO NOT get involved with a single mother under any circumstance! I know guys who are dating single mothers and worse yet I know a guy who married a single mother who had three small children from her first husband.

It is a "lose, lose" situation for the man. The guy has to hope that the woman's kids like him and respect him. He also has to put up with being a step dad and dealing with all the crap that goes into that.

Not to mention, he has to keep the woman happy and take what ever crap she does to him. Most guys who get involved with single mothers are guys who have low self-esteem and are guys who have "settled."

I repeat, AVOID SINGLE MOTHER'S LIKE THE PLAGUE! :P :P
Hi,
Being a stepfather or a stepmother is not at all easy, I would like to share my experience with you
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