My Mexican girlfriend vs. American college girls
Posted: November 9th, 2011, 1:51 pm
So I'm an Asian-American college student in Southern California. My girlfriend is about my age and lives in rural Mexico.
Before that, when I would tell others how it's hard to find a romantic partner in college, they'd tell me, "Oh you're still young. You'll find someone here eventually." In my opinion, that's a dangerous assumption. Time flies by quickly, and I shouldn't have to spend one decade of my life to realize that the American dating scene is messed up. I'm in my early 20's and am already out of it.
So, the following list compares the two:
MEXICAN GIRL = my girlfriend in rural Mexico
AMERICAN GIRLS = American-raised girls in California universities
I've avoided exaggerations, and am doing my best at portraying a very realistic picture of rural Mexican life vs. American college life.
I can never meet a girl like this at an American university. She is astonishingly charming and considerate. Of course, not all Mexican girls will have her characteristics. But the point is, many of these girls exist in Latin America!
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MEXICAN GIRL: She would ask me every few days, "How are your parents doing?" I'd ask that back to her too.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Awkward question. Might answer, "Wait, WHAT?" and would think I'm crazy.
MEXICAN GIRL: I can tell her the silliest puns and jokes, and she would giggle non-stop.
AMERICAN GIRLS: "OMG that is sooo lame." The more tolerant ones would say, "Yeah, all right, cool." Obviously, they have an underappreciation for humor.
MEXICAN GIRL: I can talk to her about US-Mexico migration patterns/networks, like where people from certain parts of Mexico would tend to migrate. She'd be fascinated by all that and would say, "Wow! I never knew that before. Please tell me more!"
AMERICAN GIRLS: I'd sound like a boring guy working for the U.S. Census Bureau. Would also be "weird."
MEXICAN GIRL: She would enjoy listening to all sorts of international ethnic music that I'd play to her over the phone. Afterwards she'd say, "Ay, que bonito." (Oh, how beautiful.)
AMERICAN GIRLS: It would be very awkward if I start playing ethnic music on my cell phone to them. They would say, "You listen to THAT?" Some of the Asian-American girls would say, "That sounds sooo fobby." Hello, do you think that only good music consists of electric guitars and synthesized rap beats - American style?
MEXICAN GIRL: I would be able to talk about the Bible and religious traditions to her. I'd talk about religious demographics, read Bible passages, and so on. (Personally I do not have any specific religion. I am more of a universalist.)
AMERICAN GIRLS: Many are fundamentalist atheists who would hate to talk about religion. Some others are fundamentalist Protestants who wouldn't listen to my more moderate ideas, and would only say, "You should join our fellowship." Moderate Catholic girls like my Mexican girlfriend would be hard to find.
MEXICAN GIRL: She has never asked about the reputation or ranking of my school, which graduate school I'm going to, and how much money people in my major will be making after graduation. The simple fact that I am at least attending a university impresses her.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Of course, that would take up maybe half of our conversation time. Grades. Reputation of this and that. Getting a job. Ugh.
MEXICAN GIRL: She'd ask me, in tremendous detail, about what I like to cook and eat, and how I prepare the food. She would also sometimes cook dinner for her family. She would eat healthy tortillas, chicken dishes, pozole, tacos, and others.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Some of them would cook too. But many would just eat instant ramen and drink coffee. Maybe Red Bull or Monster so they can pull all-nighters after procrastinating on Facebook. They wouldn't bother to ask me any food/dining-related questions, except if it's related to "hanging out."
MEXICAN GIRL: Early to bed, early to rise, makes her healthy, wealthy, and wise. She always goes to bed at 11 pm or earlier, and wakes up at 6 or 7 am. In my experience, she's never stayed up past midnight doing things. Living in rural Mexico, the sun actually sets her biological clock.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Sleep when it's way past midnight, and come to class late. "Sleeping at 12 am? That's way too early!"
MEXICAN GIRL: Thinks going to school is a blessing, and loves learning. She's around 20, but is finishing up high school since she had to take some time off to work.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Complain about school incessantly. "Gosh, I have an essay due soon. This sucks, another midterm? OMG, I just want to get this over with." They're so fortunate, yet so ungrateful.
MEXICAN GIRL: Has a lot of friends at school as well, but most of the time when I call her, I'd hear her family members talking in the background. She's surrounded by family members, and deeply cares about them. She'd pass the phone onto her sisters and little nephews so they could say "hola" to me.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Surrounded by many superficial "friends," and maybe a few genuine ones. Family is out of the picture.
MEXICAN GIRL: We would be very honest with each other and talk about former ex's, dates, and crushes. In fact, that leads to a deep mutual understanding and trust. We know that we would likely not be cheating with those people if we're willing to talk about them. It's all seen as a normal part of what people do.
AMERICAN GIRLS: People here know that there's a rule of not talking about your ex's to American girls. They could start acting very angry and paranoid if you do. Drama, awkwardness, and what not.
MEXICAN GIRL: No computer. No Facebook. Not even an e-mail (we use text messaging instead). Just a simple cell phone. Listens to music on an old-fashioned boom box, since no one in her family has a fancy Apple gadget. We're back in the old days.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Many, though not all, have nasty social networking habits that cause horrible procrastination and irresponsibility. We'd be in the middle of a conversation, and they would have to pick up a phone call, text someone, or fiddle with their iWhatever. Plug on earbuds all the time so that no one can really talk to them.
My favorite:
MEXICAN GIRL: I can already see the good wife and mother in her. In fact, she's already treating me with a lot of motherly love by always telling me to stay safe, warm, not get sick, and to keep up my studies. She would even give me advice on not worrying about others around me and not stressing out too much.
AMERICAN GIRLS: "Let's go to the beach. Let's go clubbing. Let's go shopping." Let alone any sort of motherly love. I have never met an American girl my age who would actually act like a mother when I'm with her.
Before that, when I would tell others how it's hard to find a romantic partner in college, they'd tell me, "Oh you're still young. You'll find someone here eventually." In my opinion, that's a dangerous assumption. Time flies by quickly, and I shouldn't have to spend one decade of my life to realize that the American dating scene is messed up. I'm in my early 20's and am already out of it.
So, the following list compares the two:
MEXICAN GIRL = my girlfriend in rural Mexico
AMERICAN GIRLS = American-raised girls in California universities
I've avoided exaggerations, and am doing my best at portraying a very realistic picture of rural Mexican life vs. American college life.
I can never meet a girl like this at an American university. She is astonishingly charming and considerate. Of course, not all Mexican girls will have her characteristics. But the point is, many of these girls exist in Latin America!
---------------------
MEXICAN GIRL: She would ask me every few days, "How are your parents doing?" I'd ask that back to her too.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Awkward question. Might answer, "Wait, WHAT?" and would think I'm crazy.
MEXICAN GIRL: I can tell her the silliest puns and jokes, and she would giggle non-stop.
AMERICAN GIRLS: "OMG that is sooo lame." The more tolerant ones would say, "Yeah, all right, cool." Obviously, they have an underappreciation for humor.
MEXICAN GIRL: I can talk to her about US-Mexico migration patterns/networks, like where people from certain parts of Mexico would tend to migrate. She'd be fascinated by all that and would say, "Wow! I never knew that before. Please tell me more!"
AMERICAN GIRLS: I'd sound like a boring guy working for the U.S. Census Bureau. Would also be "weird."
MEXICAN GIRL: She would enjoy listening to all sorts of international ethnic music that I'd play to her over the phone. Afterwards she'd say, "Ay, que bonito." (Oh, how beautiful.)
AMERICAN GIRLS: It would be very awkward if I start playing ethnic music on my cell phone to them. They would say, "You listen to THAT?" Some of the Asian-American girls would say, "That sounds sooo fobby." Hello, do you think that only good music consists of electric guitars and synthesized rap beats - American style?
MEXICAN GIRL: I would be able to talk about the Bible and religious traditions to her. I'd talk about religious demographics, read Bible passages, and so on. (Personally I do not have any specific religion. I am more of a universalist.)
AMERICAN GIRLS: Many are fundamentalist atheists who would hate to talk about religion. Some others are fundamentalist Protestants who wouldn't listen to my more moderate ideas, and would only say, "You should join our fellowship." Moderate Catholic girls like my Mexican girlfriend would be hard to find.
MEXICAN GIRL: She has never asked about the reputation or ranking of my school, which graduate school I'm going to, and how much money people in my major will be making after graduation. The simple fact that I am at least attending a university impresses her.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Of course, that would take up maybe half of our conversation time. Grades. Reputation of this and that. Getting a job. Ugh.
MEXICAN GIRL: She'd ask me, in tremendous detail, about what I like to cook and eat, and how I prepare the food. She would also sometimes cook dinner for her family. She would eat healthy tortillas, chicken dishes, pozole, tacos, and others.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Some of them would cook too. But many would just eat instant ramen and drink coffee. Maybe Red Bull or Monster so they can pull all-nighters after procrastinating on Facebook. They wouldn't bother to ask me any food/dining-related questions, except if it's related to "hanging out."
MEXICAN GIRL: Early to bed, early to rise, makes her healthy, wealthy, and wise. She always goes to bed at 11 pm or earlier, and wakes up at 6 or 7 am. In my experience, she's never stayed up past midnight doing things. Living in rural Mexico, the sun actually sets her biological clock.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Sleep when it's way past midnight, and come to class late. "Sleeping at 12 am? That's way too early!"
MEXICAN GIRL: Thinks going to school is a blessing, and loves learning. She's around 20, but is finishing up high school since she had to take some time off to work.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Complain about school incessantly. "Gosh, I have an essay due soon. This sucks, another midterm? OMG, I just want to get this over with." They're so fortunate, yet so ungrateful.
MEXICAN GIRL: Has a lot of friends at school as well, but most of the time when I call her, I'd hear her family members talking in the background. She's surrounded by family members, and deeply cares about them. She'd pass the phone onto her sisters and little nephews so they could say "hola" to me.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Surrounded by many superficial "friends," and maybe a few genuine ones. Family is out of the picture.
MEXICAN GIRL: We would be very honest with each other and talk about former ex's, dates, and crushes. In fact, that leads to a deep mutual understanding and trust. We know that we would likely not be cheating with those people if we're willing to talk about them. It's all seen as a normal part of what people do.
AMERICAN GIRLS: People here know that there's a rule of not talking about your ex's to American girls. They could start acting very angry and paranoid if you do. Drama, awkwardness, and what not.
MEXICAN GIRL: No computer. No Facebook. Not even an e-mail (we use text messaging instead). Just a simple cell phone. Listens to music on an old-fashioned boom box, since no one in her family has a fancy Apple gadget. We're back in the old days.
AMERICAN GIRLS: Many, though not all, have nasty social networking habits that cause horrible procrastination and irresponsibility. We'd be in the middle of a conversation, and they would have to pick up a phone call, text someone, or fiddle with their iWhatever. Plug on earbuds all the time so that no one can really talk to them.
My favorite:
MEXICAN GIRL: I can already see the good wife and mother in her. In fact, she's already treating me with a lot of motherly love by always telling me to stay safe, warm, not get sick, and to keep up my studies. She would even give me advice on not worrying about others around me and not stressing out too much.
AMERICAN GIRLS: "Let's go to the beach. Let's go clubbing. Let's go shopping." Let alone any sort of motherly love. I have never met an American girl my age who would actually act like a mother when I'm with her.
