Happier Abroad Forum Community

Hi guys, would just like to drop a few complaints RE recent experiences.

How do you feel suppose you go on a coffee date with a woman, and straight off the bat, there's a series of questions such as what do you do, how much do you earn, or worst of all, an interrogation session about past relationship experiences, why you have or haven't done that.

How romantic is that!

You don' put people at ease by making them feel they have to pass an attributes test, you don't build any sense of rapport or connection by asking a series of direct questions and why questions. That's the way to guarantee awkwardness.

You don't bring out one's spontaneous side, or get one to open up to you or build any sense of connection, duh!

There's shit loads of advice and PUA stuff about chatting up women, dating etc. that advises against these interview-like questions. In fact, when I look back, the best interactions I've had with women hardly ever involved ANY interview-like questions. I'm sure many of you guys can relate to this.

Why do so many people treat their prospective partners as jobs rather than people? Is this a gen Y thing? Don't they have any idea how off-putting and unromantic this is?

mattyman wrote:Hi guys, would just like to drop a few complaints RE recent experiences.

How do you feel suppose you go on a coffee date with a woman, and straight off the bat, there's a series of questions such as what do you do, how much do you earn, or worst of all, an interrogation session about past relationship experiences, why you have or haven't done that.

How romantic is that!

You don' put people at ease by making them feel they have to pass an attributes test, you don't build any sense of rapport or connection by asking a series of direct questions and why questions. That's the way to guarantee awkwardness.

You don't bring out one's spontaneous side, or get one to open up to you or build any sense of connection, duh!

There's shit loads of advice and PUA stuff about chatting up women, dating etc. that advises against these interview-like questions. In fact, when I look back, the best interactions I've had with women hardly ever involved ANY interview-like questions. I'm sure many of you guys can relate to this.

Why do so many people treat their prospective partners as jobs rather than people? Is this a gen Y thing? Don't they have any idea how off-putting and unromantic this is?

I think it is a gen Y thing...Yes! I agree...it is rather off-putting having to do deal with those questions whenever you meet a girl. It's quite annoying...

To be honest, though, I think nearly all women--all over the world--are like this now. They only tend to think of money, nowadays...

Yes, exactly. Even worse, the most demanding are the women who have the least to offer. It's like a job interview with an employer who pays minimum wage, dangerous working conditions, and no benefits.

There was an african woman interested in me recently, and during our phonecalls she began asking me questions like what mattyman described. What you have to realize is that women have a 'nesting instinct' - they want to find out if you would be a good provider before they decide to get serious with you. Can't really blame them for that. I mean they don't want to waste time pursuing some bum who cant even look after himself, much less a wife and kids.

johny_quest wrote:What you have to realize is that women have a 'nesting instinct' - they want to find out if you would be a good provider before they decide to get serious with you. Can't really blame them for that. I mean they don't want to waste time pursuing some bum who cant even look after himself, much less a wife and kids.

Well, by that logic, a man is entitled to ask a prospective wife to strip naked so that he can thoroughly inspect her before deciding to tie the knot. After all, men don't want to marry women with flat chests, cellulite, scars, stretch marks, body hair, or tattoos.

Again, I say that a woman has the right to demand a lot, but only if she has a lot to offer. If she's a 43 year old divorcee with two kids, then she should consider herself lucky to get a "bum".

johny_quest wrote:There was an african woman interested in me recently, and during our phonecalls she began asking me questions like what mattyman described. What you have to realize is that women have a 'nesting instinct' - they want to find out if you would be a good provider before they decide to get serious with you. Can't really blame them for that. I mean they don't want to waste time pursuing some bum who cant even look after himself, much less a wife and kids.

That made sense back in the traditional days when women were still pure and innocent and couldn't become anything other than mothers, but nowadays, when you look at todays women, you feel like throwing up, most of these women that ask these questions have been run through by like 200 men, have stretch marks, are single mothers and have nothing else to offer than their pussies

Hero wrote:Yes, exactly. Even worse, the most demanding are the women who have the least to offer. It's like a job interview with an employer who pays minimum wage, dangerous working conditions, and no benefits.

It IS, isn't it?

Hero wrote:
Well, by that logic, a man is entitled to ask a prospective wife to strip naked so that he can thoroughly inspect her before deciding to tie the knot. After all, men don't want to marry women with flat chests, cellulite, scars, stretch marks, body hair, or tattoos.

Hate to hijack but...

Never told anyone this...

I had a good girl, a young mother, actually DO THIS for me at the end of the first date. Wouldn't have sex that night, but WANTED to show me the goods.



Not a wild girl, no high miles -- Only her husband and one longterm bf before me - respectable educated high-earning chick...

I don't know if it's something from the Middle East or what - she also used to say I should pay her a dowry in camels...

So anyway she didn't mind if I did my "homework" first...