How many of you actually Cold Approach girls?
Posted: June 24th, 2015, 2:48 pm
I was wondering something. How many of you actually cold approach girls or women in public? Or know someone who does?
The thing is, very very few guys have the guts to actually do that. It feels abnormal, out of the normal flow of things, and risky like you're going out on a limb. When you approach a stranger, you don't know what will happen or how she will react. So it takes nerves and can be emotionally draining and feel like hard work, because you feel pressure to hold her interest and maintain the conversation. I don't think most guys can do that, probably at least 99 percent of guys do not cold approach girls they think are hot. And I do not see guys doing that in public, not even in Asia.
However, lots of guys online TALK about cold approaching as if it were a normal ordinary thing that most guys do. But I do not see guys actually cold approaching girls in public or hitting on them. I'm sure in big US cities like LA, girls get hit on a lot or cat called, but the girls just blow them off like it's a routine. Or they may do it in nightclubs. But I don't see guys doing it on the street, in public buildings, or on buses or trains or planes. Out in public, people mind their own businesses and can only look back at hot girls passing by. That's the flow of things, even in Asia. Even in the Philippines, I don't see local guys hitting on girls in pubic, though you can sometimes start conversations with girls in buses and jeepneys and get their number.
But among the guys I know, very few cold approach girls regularly. The only ones I've seen do it are Rock and Monkro. Every other guy chickens out and feels uncomfortable about it. In China, both Ethan_sg and Zboy1 do not dare to cold approach girls. They find it nerve wracking and emotionally draining to even try, so they prefer to stand back and watch me try with amusement. Momopi has told me that he sometimes talks to girls i public, but he only picks appropriate situations to do it in, such as when he's standing in line.
So I'm wondering, how many of you actually cold approach girls you like in public? Do you feel tempted to? Have you ever tried cold approaching a girl even once? What do you do when you see a hot girl in public? Do you just let her walk by and disappear forever, wondering what would have happened if you had talked to her? When I freeze and don't approach a cute or sexy girl that I want to and miss the opportunity, I hit myself on the head about it for an hour afterward, because part of me wants to, but it feels so creepy and inappropriate and out of place, even in China and Taiwan. That's why I'm afraid to go out in cliquish stuck up countries where girls aren't open, because I will have so many temptations to hit on sexy girls, but be afraid to do so, and then chew myself out about it afterward in frustration. It's emotionally draining.
However, what I've noticed is that if you go out everyday and do stuff and ask people for directions a lot, you do end up meeting some people and getting phone numbers from girls. But it seems that it only happens when you are not actively looking for girls or trying to pick up girls. It's a sort of Murphy's Law in that you only meet girls when you are not trying. For example, in China when I try to pick up girls, they ignore me. But if I don't try and just ask girls near me for help or directions, a lot of them end up having natural conversations with me and exchanging Wechat contacts or phone numbers.
Even without approaching, sometimes you can sense from their vibe if they are approachable. A few girls have approachable body language and make eye contact with strangers in a comfortable manner. If she makes eye contact with you in a relaxed easygoing manner, then you know you can approach her. But most girls do not expect a stranger to talk to them. If they do look at you, it's with a "why is he staring at me?" type of look, so it's a brief and uncomfortable eye contact. In that case, it feels like out on a limb to approach them.
Monkro told me that when you cold approach a girl, don't think of it as a "pick up approach" or else you will feel pressure and nerves, because it feels inappropriate. Instead, he says, think of it as a friendly chat with no ulterior motives. That will calm down your nerves and not make you feel creepy about it.
It seems that on PUA websites and dating websites, approaching girls is talked about as if it were a normal thing that many guys do. But in reality, very very few guys, probably less than one percent, actually cold approach girls or even try to chat them up in public. It simply feels creepy. You gotta do it in an appropriate manner, such as asking for directions first and gauging their body language. Or asking an innocent question and then seeing how friendly they are or what vibe they have.
So anyway, I'm wondering: Have any of you ever tried actually cold approaching girls? If so, where and how often? And what was the result?
How many guys do you personally know who actually cold approach girls, not just talk about it? Have you seen them do it? Or do they just talk about it and refuse to show you that they actually do it?
The thing is, very very few guys have the guts to actually do that. It feels abnormal, out of the normal flow of things, and risky like you're going out on a limb. When you approach a stranger, you don't know what will happen or how she will react. So it takes nerves and can be emotionally draining and feel like hard work, because you feel pressure to hold her interest and maintain the conversation. I don't think most guys can do that, probably at least 99 percent of guys do not cold approach girls they think are hot. And I do not see guys doing that in public, not even in Asia.
However, lots of guys online TALK about cold approaching as if it were a normal ordinary thing that most guys do. But I do not see guys actually cold approaching girls in public or hitting on them. I'm sure in big US cities like LA, girls get hit on a lot or cat called, but the girls just blow them off like it's a routine. Or they may do it in nightclubs. But I don't see guys doing it on the street, in public buildings, or on buses or trains or planes. Out in public, people mind their own businesses and can only look back at hot girls passing by. That's the flow of things, even in Asia. Even in the Philippines, I don't see local guys hitting on girls in pubic, though you can sometimes start conversations with girls in buses and jeepneys and get their number.
But among the guys I know, very few cold approach girls regularly. The only ones I've seen do it are Rock and Monkro. Every other guy chickens out and feels uncomfortable about it. In China, both Ethan_sg and Zboy1 do not dare to cold approach girls. They find it nerve wracking and emotionally draining to even try, so they prefer to stand back and watch me try with amusement. Momopi has told me that he sometimes talks to girls i public, but he only picks appropriate situations to do it in, such as when he's standing in line.
So I'm wondering, how many of you actually cold approach girls you like in public? Do you feel tempted to? Have you ever tried cold approaching a girl even once? What do you do when you see a hot girl in public? Do you just let her walk by and disappear forever, wondering what would have happened if you had talked to her? When I freeze and don't approach a cute or sexy girl that I want to and miss the opportunity, I hit myself on the head about it for an hour afterward, because part of me wants to, but it feels so creepy and inappropriate and out of place, even in China and Taiwan. That's why I'm afraid to go out in cliquish stuck up countries where girls aren't open, because I will have so many temptations to hit on sexy girls, but be afraid to do so, and then chew myself out about it afterward in frustration. It's emotionally draining.
However, what I've noticed is that if you go out everyday and do stuff and ask people for directions a lot, you do end up meeting some people and getting phone numbers from girls. But it seems that it only happens when you are not actively looking for girls or trying to pick up girls. It's a sort of Murphy's Law in that you only meet girls when you are not trying. For example, in China when I try to pick up girls, they ignore me. But if I don't try and just ask girls near me for help or directions, a lot of them end up having natural conversations with me and exchanging Wechat contacts or phone numbers.
Even without approaching, sometimes you can sense from their vibe if they are approachable. A few girls have approachable body language and make eye contact with strangers in a comfortable manner. If she makes eye contact with you in a relaxed easygoing manner, then you know you can approach her. But most girls do not expect a stranger to talk to them. If they do look at you, it's with a "why is he staring at me?" type of look, so it's a brief and uncomfortable eye contact. In that case, it feels like out on a limb to approach them.
Monkro told me that when you cold approach a girl, don't think of it as a "pick up approach" or else you will feel pressure and nerves, because it feels inappropriate. Instead, he says, think of it as a friendly chat with no ulterior motives. That will calm down your nerves and not make you feel creepy about it.
It seems that on PUA websites and dating websites, approaching girls is talked about as if it were a normal thing that many guys do. But in reality, very very few guys, probably less than one percent, actually cold approach girls or even try to chat them up in public. It simply feels creepy. You gotta do it in an appropriate manner, such as asking for directions first and gauging their body language. Or asking an innocent question and then seeing how friendly they are or what vibe they have.
So anyway, I'm wondering: Have any of you ever tried actually cold approaching girls? If so, where and how often? And what was the result?
How many guys do you personally know who actually cold approach girls, not just talk about it? Have you seen them do it? Or do they just talk about it and refuse to show you that they actually do it?
