Happier Abroad Forum Community

Hi again,

I've just realised something. We all know why we are not attracted to women who we think are loose, who're easy to get with or who sleep around with a lot of people; at the back of our minds we're thinking 'will she be like this with everyone'? Will I not be anything special to this girl?

I think it's fair to say regardless of whether you're a man or a woman, that we're more attracted to those who we feel we've earned respect from, and here's where the commonality lies. I think instead of viewing women as strange beings, it's best to understand them and try to turn the tables.

The expression 'nice guy' is often used to described 'people-pleasing' behaviours. It's also used to describe being needy, approval seeking. This is where something's just clicked. If a guy behaves in those ways to a woman, won't the woman be getting those same thoughts; 'if he's like this with me, will he be like this to everyone'? Will I not be anything special to this guy?

I think it's this^, this is probably a major reason why women might be turned-off guys who're too people-pleasing and approval seeking.

Why do I say this? Just one point in an article, scroll down
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/what-bad- ... guys-dont/
Now, it's only one point in this article I'm referring too, and one which I think is the most valid. All the points on that site could be shortened significantly.

Yes, it's OK to be sensitive and considerate to people's feelings, yes it's OK to be shy, yes, it's OK to be an introvert, but that doesn't mean you have to be a people pleaser, someone who bends your reality, becomes something you're not, refrains from expressing opinions. YOu don't have to be a chest-thumper, or project the stereotype of the alpha male which ironically, could actually be falling into exactly the same people-pleasing the trap, and women will see straight through that (one's who're worth getting to know that is).

Disclaimer; any girl who automatically thinks niceness (sensitive and caring without being a people-pleaser or approval seeker) automatically=boring is best steered clear of,

mattyman wrote:Disclaimer; any girl who automatically thinks niceness (sensitive and caring without being a people-pleaser or approval seeker) automatically=boring is best steered clear of,

Studies have show that women don't like nice guys because they view them as "beta-males" and boring and not exciting enough. They even view guys who are "nice" as boring in the bedroom (this is true even if she has not had sex with him yet).

Women see "bad boys" as exciting, both in the bedroom and outside the bedroom. This is especially true with women from Anglo countries.

jamesbond wrote: Studies have show that women don't like nice guys because they view them as "beta-males" and boring and not exciting enough. They even view guys who are "nice" as boring in the bedroom (this is true even if she has not had sex with him yet).

Women see "bad boys" as exciting, both in the bedroom and outside the bedroom. This is especially true with women from Anglo countries.

I fully agree. Hardly anything what I can add to this comment.
Anglo countries are the worst due to rampant feminism, but other countries - for example in Continental Europe - are not so far behind...


Generally I would say, many Western women - I think over 80 % - find men who approach them with 'unusual behavior' as exciting and it is causing them to disregard anything else around them, even going so far to disregard their own personal security.

It's the badboy who will receive even love-letters while in jail and girls are waiting in front of the door when he is released.
It is the braggart, a low-life who shows up with a big car talking a lot of BS - he is a diplomat or something like that - and the girl believes everything he says. Alcohol and drugs are also helpful.

It is the rich boy who is living out of the wallet of his parents and invites for expensive travels and exclusive dinner-shows and the girl is happy to reward him with sex in return (but he has many 'model' girls and will replace her soon - what a tearful experience...LOL)

The man who finished last is always the 'ordinary guy'.

In my case when i was still young in my 20s:

I was never jobless, but had only a moderate income.
I had my own rooms, but they were too small.
I had my own car, but it was too old.
I have no criminal record.
I do not drink alcohol, never used drugs.
I got nothing from my parents, I had even to take care of them.

And let me say, there are many men like myself. - Some stay single, others were badly cheated by women, some are bankrupt because of a divorce with children, others like I myself found finally a solution - I left for always Western society... the world is not so small...

Listen to the take-away here guys anyone who listens. I noticed all the replies just focused on my disclaimer and missed the message.

Did anyone actually listen to what I was saying and try to turn the tables and see it from the female viewpoint? I'm not in any way trying to justify female bad behaviour that myself, or other posters have complained about, but to trying and encourage you guys to relate to women, that they have far more in common than you might think.

There's two aims here; I want y guys to see that women are not all that different in what they want from a partner and, I want you to try and increase your empathy towards women you meet.

@ Yohan

The man who finished last is always the 'ordinary guy'.

And that's the problem, here's why. Those things in the bullet-pointed list are not really going to create one of those long-winded conversations one loses track of the time with are they? I see the situation might be that you had a few bad experiences, and you put it down to 'all women being a certain way', or 'all women from a certain area being a certain way'. I'm not in any way defending the all-too often shitty behaviour of western women, but I do encourage guys to be better people than they are and to not fall into the same thinking traps as they do.

jamesbond wrote: ↑

September 30th, 2017, 12:18 pm

mattyman wrote:Disclaimer; any girl who automatically thinks niceness (sensitive and caring without being a people-pleaser or approval seeker) automatically=boring is best steered clear of,

Studies have show that women don't like nice guys because they view them as "beta-males" and boring and not exciting enough. They even view guys who are "nice" as boring in the bedroom (this is true even if she has not had sex with him yet).

Women see "bad boys" as exciting, both in the bedroom and outside the bedroom. This is especially true with women from Anglo countries.

But what a good boy sees does not happen