Happier Abroad Forum Community

Do you need game or social skills to get foreign women?

waylon mercy wrote: ↑

August 13th, 2018, 10:03 pm

Do you need game or social skills to get foreign women?

being a foreign woman...
I don't think you need "game" but social skills are a good asset to have

waylon mercy wrote: ↑

August 13th, 2018, 10:03 pm

Do you need game or social skills to get foreign women?

If you define "game" as understanding female nature and what to expect in their behavior in a romantic context, then yes.

Also, if a man has the social skills of an Asbie, he will have trouble overseas also.

However, overseas is a better place to DEVELOP game and social skills with women because the women are less toxic and hostile than in America.

Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑

August 14th, 2018, 2:33 pm

waylon mercy wrote: ↑

August 13th, 2018, 10:03 pm

Do you need game or social skills to get foreign women?

If you define "game" as understanding female nature and what to expect in their behavior in a romantic context, then yes.

Also, if a man has the social skills of an Asbie, he will have trouble overseas also.

However, overseas is a better place to DEVELOP game and social skills with women because the women are less toxic and hostile than in America.

That's "Aspie" as in Asperger's Syndrome. And Aspies can be very charming socially, with practice. High IQ makes it possible to mimic the behavior of average people.

Note: This topic has been split off from another thread here: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=28892
Because the posts were off topic and deserves it's own thread.

I'm highly skeptical of the terms "game" and "social skills". What do those things mean?

How come men didn't need such things or have such concepts in the 1800's or prior to that? Men were just themselves and developed strong Christian moral character and good skills to build houses, run farms, hold jobs, develop trade skills, etc. That was all that was needed to be a strong good man to attract a good woman to raise a family with and create a home/nest with. That was all that was necessary. Women only wanted a good man to provide a good home and nest and raise a family with. There was no need or concept of "game" or "social skills" right?

Do animals need "game or social skills" to attract mates? In nature don't the females simply breed with the strongest males?

This is why I respect women of certain cultures more than US women. They are far more "realistic" in their expectations, with things like being able to provide for the family, kindness (to themselves and family) etc. being most important. My wife is mainland Chinese and has repeatedly told me that she and her friends value things like educational status far more than how "badass" a guy is, or how much game he has. I can control things like my educational, success in the workplace, ability to provide, my temperament (to some extent) - I can't change my height, looks, and so on.

Winston wrote: ↑

August 18th, 2018, 7:24 am

I'm highly skeptical of the terms "game" and "social skills". What do those things mean?

How come men didn't need such things or have such concepts in the 1800's or prior to that? Men were just themselves and developed strong Christian moral character and good skills to build houses, run farms, hold jobs, develop trade skills, etc. That was all that was needed to be a strong good man to attract a good woman to raise a family with and create a home/nest with. That was all that was necessary. Women only wanted a good man to provide a good home and nest and raise a family with. There was no need or concept of "game" or "social skills" right?

Do animals need "game or social skills" to attract mates? In nature don't the females simply breed with the strongest males?

Honestly I don't know if you needed game back in the 1800s cuz I wasn't there

what I mean by game is being a smooth talker knowing what to say or at least what's considered the right things to say during an interaction and how to respond the right way

social skills means having a conversation with somebody and knowing how to keep a conversation going knowing how to interact with people thanks for the reply

If you are looking for a serious woman for a serious relationship, then be yourself. If you are socially awkward, there will be an appropriate match for you. Remember, serious women are looking for a lifetime partner, The more "game" someone has, the more easily he will be tempted to cheat. Accept yourself as you are, improve where you can and ffind a woman who matches your personality. Do you think there are no socially awkward women out there ?

It depends on the culture. Classifying "foreign girls" as one monolithic group is a little silly, there's about 180 other countries besides USA with their own culture. Going across this, what's considered good social skills in one culture could be considered rude, annoying, or obnoxious in other cultures. So the key of Happier Abroad imo is to find a culture where you feel like you "fit in" and your natural social skills most closely match the social skills and personalities of the natives of that country. You can read about it, etc, but unfortunately the only way is to go and see.

Winston wrote: ↑

August 18th, 2018, 7:24 am

I'm highly skeptical of the terms "game" and "social skills". What do those things mean?

How come men didn't need such things or have such concepts in the 1800's or prior to that? Men were just themselves and developed strong Christian moral character and good skills to build houses, run farms, hold jobs, develop trade skills, etc. That was all that was needed to be a strong good man to attract a good woman to raise a family with and create a home/nest with. That was all that was necessary. Women only wanted a good man to provide a good home and nest and raise a family with. There was no need or concept of "game" or "social skills" right?

Do animals need "game or social skills" to attract mates? In nature don't the females simply breed with the strongest males?

I think a difference in general in the 1800s with the "social skills" thing is that conditioning people socially was much harder due to lack of mass media. In USA for example, television has conditioned a Northern or California accent as the 'correct' English accent. So it's the same with mannerisms and social skills, people mimic and expect what they see on television or movies in real life. So if a way you act is not the same as that, then it's wrong, and "socially awkward" or something can just be declared socially awkward by mass media, like eating at a restaurant alone, what have you. The other difference too is in smaller towns or closeknit communities, a lot more behavior is simply forgiven or not cared about, because no matter if you think your neighbor is awkward or not, if your neighbor helps you with your garden, you're more likely to forgive him being "awkward."

A lot too that I've realized amongst even very "normal" people with seemingly good social skills is they have a high amount of anxiety and a lot of their brain power gets taken up by not being awkward and their appearance to others. If your brain was a CPU, I feel like my brain when I'm out in public is spending about 3% CPU usage thinking of how awkward I am or am not being, then spending 30% CPU usage thinking of bore diameter for an engine or something. I think normal people, though, they use 40% CPU on the process of thinking how they appear to others. And then they have social anxiety freakouts about looking awkward buying a single avacado at the grocery store or ordering pizza on the phone in line, etc, that nobody actually cares about but is so overthought in their quest to appear "normal" to people that it causes them a lot of anxiety.

LFL, this is most excellent advice. Although I wonder about your assumption that socially awkward men necessarily require the same personality (ie socially awkward women). I think there are numerous times when hooking up with someone different than yourself is indicated. Certainly not for everybody and can be "interesting", but sometimes very beneficial. For example, suppose you are a retired expat in the Philippines and socially awkward. For some it might be a benefit for his lady to be outgoing and able to deal better with people. But yeah, the only way for long term relationship is to be you and not fake it.

Mr Natural wrote: ↑

August 22nd, 2018, 7:23 pm

LFL, this is most excellent advice. Although I wonder about your assumption that socially awkward men necessarily require the same personality (ie socially awkward women). I think there are numerous times when hooking up with someone different than yourself is indicated. Certainly not for everybody and can be "interesting", but sometimes very beneficial. For example, suppose you are a retired expat in the Philippines and socially awkward. For some it might be a benefit for his lady to be outgoing and able to deal better with people. But yeah, the only way for long term relationship is to be you and not fake it.

Yeah, I didn't mean that a socially awkward man should pursue a socially awkward women, but I probably implied it in the last sentence. What I mean is that being socially awkward can be somewhat of a comfort to certain women out there. Even if a woman is able to conduct herself wonderfully in social situations doesn't mean she is comfortable with it. Her comfort may come from being with a man who she considers a very loving (to her), committed, intelligent man who she believes will be a good family man that she can count on. Also, in other cultures, presenting well socially is part of the woman's role, but that doesn't mean she values that quality so highly in her man.

Judging from my tour experience, the guys who are now married were not the most socially adept of the bunch, and they were definitely not the guys that had the most game. They were just nice guys who presented themselves sincerely. That's not to say they found their match on the tour they paid $5k for ( I certainly didn't), but eventually. The guys from my tour with the most game ? They are still single.

LFL wrote: ↑

August 22nd, 2018, 5:56 pm

If you are looking for a serious woman for a serious relationship, then be yourself. If you are socially awkward, there will be an appropriate match for you. Remember, serious women are looking for a lifetime partner, The more "game" someone has, the more easily he will be tempted to cheat. Accept yourself as you are, improve where you can and find a woman who matches your personality. Do you think there are no socially awkward women out there ?

be myself? in other words dont talk then and be a robot cause thats how i am?

LFL wrote: ↑

August 22nd, 2018, 5:56 pm

If you are looking for a serious woman for a serious relationship, then be yourself. If you are socially awkward, there will be an appropriate match for you. Remember, serious women are looking for a lifetime partner, The more "game" someone has, the more easily he will be tempted to cheat. Accept yourself as you are, improve where you can and ffind a woman who matches your personality. Do you think there are no socially awkward women out there ?

im sure there are , BUT!! do socially awkward women like men who have no personality or social skills?