Married People Savor Their Misery: A Warning ⚠️

[Contrarian Expatriate]

An oldie but a goodie!



So why isn’t marriage dead yet in the West? Well, religion, tradition, peer pressure, and stupidity all play roles keeping it on life support, but #MGTOW fired what will ultimately be the fatal shot and thank goodness for that.

If you get married, you deserve what you get because you’ve been warned.

[josephty2]

I wonder how many of my middle school bullies got married and could get divorced or arrested later...

The reason marriage is difficult in USA is because native Americans spirits... native Americans lived in huts and tipees... little known use of a church roof + rectangular base

Usa American women a lot of them make claims..

If you are dating a American woman You should ask your girlfriend to take the LSRP psychopathy test
https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/LSRP.php

[Winston]

A few questions:

I'm sure if you ask the average married man if the married life was worth it, he would say something like this:

"Well marriage has its ups and downs. It takes work to make it work. But at the end of the day, I would say it's worth it. Having a family is priceless."

Right? If so, do you think they really mean it? Or are they just pretending to believe that?

Have any of you asked your married friends that question and got that same response?

Also, what about all those stats that say married men live longer? Are they true? If so why? And how do you respond to that CE?

[MrMan]

A few questions:

I'm sure if you ask the average married man if the married life was worth it, he would say something like this:

"Well marriage has its ups and downs. It takes work to make it work. But at the end of the day, I would say it's worth it. Having a family is priceless."

Right? If so, do you think they really mean it? Or are they just pretending to believe that?

Have any of you asked your married friends that question and got that same response?

Also, what about all those stats that say married men live longer? Are they true? If so why? And how do you respond to that CE?

From what I hear about longevity, etc. married men live longer. There is also the issue of purpose and motivation in life, and having strong relationships with other people. Having a wife and children can provide that.

If you look at it from an economic perspective, if you live alone and cook for yourself, you might put less into the meal than if you had a wife cooking for you and the family. Am I going to cook a rack of ribs for me? I'd pay more per pound and I just might not cook them. I might eat out, which is more expensive. If a wife pulls her weight economically by contributing to household labor, bringing home a paycheck, etc. its a net gain economically to split the housing between two people rather than to have two people paying for separate homes or the expense that comes from rapidly changing roommates. If you marry a wife who is a shopaholic or who is lazy, there could be a net loss. My wife is a skilled cook who cooks meals from over a dozen cuisines, and she's frugal.

There is also the issue of companionship and sexual fulfillment. If you choose a good partner in this respect and keep a good relationship, there is a regular supply of both. Single men who aren't in LTRs who want to have immoral sexual relationships with women have to pick up women, take them out to dinner, etc. She can get pregnant and he could still potentially have to pay child support, but have little say over how to raise the child. A lot of the same financial risks are there, actually, for men who sleep around. Having multiple baby mammas to support would have to be worse financially than just having one.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

A few questions:

I'm sure if you ask the average married man if the married life was worth it, he would say something like this:

"Well marriage has its ups and downs. It takes work to make it work. But at the end of the day, I would say it's worth it. Having a family is priceless."

They simply are rationalizing their plight. The human psyche builds up defenses to cope with unfavorable circumstances. To admit that one is living in a horrible circumstance is more painful than telling yourself that everything is "just great."

Right? If so, do you think they really mean it? Or are they just pretending to believe that?

With 100% certainty, they are either lying or at least fooling themselves. The proof is in their reactions to your pointing out that modern marriage is horrible. Not only do their explanations rarely make logical sense, but they often explode with anger and personal attacks. A person who is happy and content with marriage would pity the unmarried, not explode on them.

Have any of you asked your married friends that question and got that same response?

My friends are all unmarried by design, but when I was working, the workplace friendships I had with married men were very telling. If they were newlyweds, they were still in a state of bliss, but if they were married 5 years or more and they were sincere personalities, they would all tell me variations of the below:

-You went about it right. Don't even bother finding a wife.
-If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't get married.
-Being a husband and father is a daily struggle.
-Don't do it!

Also, some of the older, senior guys were the most resentful. When my boss was complaining to a few of us that he wife was driving him crazy, I remarked, "This is not my department, so I can relate," he became very angry with me and accused me of gloating because I was single. That was his interpretation of course, but I was simply trying to back out of the discussion.

Also, what about all those stats that say married men live longer? Are they true? If so why? And how do you respond to that CE?

Those stats mean nothing when you look at who funds and compiles them. First of all, those figures are skewed because they include deaths of males who die very young due to car accidents, overdose, homicide, suicide, etc. If you only compare men who make it to age 50 and see who lives longer, that difference is obliterated.

Second, there is a quote, "Find what you love to do, and let it kill you." In that vein, unmarried men are out doing things, exploring the world, having conquests, enjoying life. So if older, single men are simply finding what they love to do and letting it kill them at sea, in the air, abroad, up in the guts of a beautiful, twentysomething girl, some of us will die. But I say die sooner doing what you love rather than living a boring life of drudgery and deterioration wondering the next time you'll get to see your grandchildren.

If I happen to die in a Eastern European back alley with a slit throat cut by a jealous ex-boyfriend of a girl who grew hopelessly addicted to the convulsive, gushing, and stupefying orgasms I gave her, that would be far better than living to age 90 with a wrinkled and crabby old wife and bored out of my got damn married mind!

[MrMan]

Second, there is a quote, "Find what you love to do, and let it kill you." In that vein, unmarried men are out doing things, exploring the world, having conquests, enjoying life. So if older, single men are simply finding what they love to do and letting it kill them at sea, in the air, abroad, up in the guts of a beautiful, twentysomething girl, some of us will die. But I say die sooner doing what you love rather than living a boring life of drudgery and deterioration wondering the next time you'll get to see your grandchildren.

Do you have any actual research that you can point to that shows that enough single men die from engaging in risky sports or similar behaviors that would actually be enough to explain married men living longer, or is this just a guess on your part.

I might have gone skydiving before I had children. Being married might not have stopped me if I'd had an opportunity to do it. I thought about changing my plans to go skydiving for $20 in college, staying in the dorm over the weekend, but I decided to stick with my plan to go home instead. If someone had invited me right after I got married, I might have done it. After having a child, I thought about it and did not want to do it for the sake of my son.

Now, I can see ethical reasons against risking my life for no good reason. The idea of skydiving isn't as appealing after riding on amusement park rides and not feeling the thrill that I did when I was younger.

But I would imagine only a fraction of the male population die from skydiving, driving fast cars. I'd want to see some evidence that this explains the difference.

This study is from a respectable site. It does not break down the percentages and the stats.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-hea ... ens-health

Maybe single men feed themselves pork ribs and hot pockets, and wives tend to cook green vegetables and ask their husbands to get checkups, or there could be physical benefits to companionship and the family interaction.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Also, what about all those stats that say married men live longer?

In addition, those studies are simple correlations, and can never, ever show that marriage CAUSES men to live longer. More credible and objective data tend to show that men who put themselves out as potential marriage slaves (husbands) tend to already be higher than average in terms of health care, income, and education and it is THOSE three factors that have a causal link for longevity, not the marriages.

Besides, if married men lives to 85 and we unmarried men only live to 80, it could be said that the 80 year olds are being spared suffering the worst, most debilitating period of a man's life. I still see that as a win for the unmarried men! Yet and still idiotic, married cucks see that as some sort of benefit that they get to suffer through the absolute worst period of a man's life.

It just tends to further show that marriage is not worth it when they try to hang their hats on this point that weakens their overall case for marriage. But then again, religion, tradition, peer pressure, and utter stupidity are nearly impossible forces to overcome with regard to men who still advocate for marriage.

[MrMan]

Also, what about all those stats that say married men live longer?

Besides, if married men lives to 85 and we unmarried men only live to 80, it could be said that the 80 year olds are being spared suffering the worst, most debilitating period of a man's life.

If they all die at 80 racing Ferraris, maybe. But if they got sick and laid in the bed starting at 75 instead of starting at 80, no. But everyone's situation is different.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

The simple step of a courageous individual is not to take part in the lie.

Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

Reject the nonsense of resentful people and the state who wish to see you legally enslaved to a woman. #MGTOW leads men to their own truth, to individuation, and to their personal fulfillment.

[yick]

I know a fella back home - every time I see him, he tells me he hates his life, his job and he wish he could escape it but he can't because he is married with kids. This guy is a smart and capable man but he certainly regrets making that choice but there must have been a time where he thought it was a good idea and it is a good idea until you actually live within the reality of marriage - which is why around half divorce after a few years.

Some men ARE suited to marriage and their lives are better because they have a wife and kids but I don't think most men lives are improved because they're married.

And once you're married and you have kids, you're in the system whether you like it or you don't - you have a role, which is of provider - which is why men are punished by the courts if and when they divorce - you don't ever really leave that status behind in the legal sense, you'll be punished and you'll pay for it.

Also, the problems seem to arise when the man retires, the woman resents the man being in her 'space' which is the house he has worked all his life to pay for. How many geriatric murders are committed by an angry wife or husband because they couldn't stand being in the same space with each other anymore - this is after 50 or 60 years of marrige - people get sick of each other - which is why a lot of men have a shed in the garden where they can escape to - but there was a time within the courtship that led to this union where they were in 'love' and they wanted to be together 'forever' but all those lovey dovey feelings go out of the window real quick - within a few years at least - reality sets in sooner or later for most people.

Personally, I would rather live in my own home and get up when I want and do what I want - what do I really want a wife and kids for? All they do is restrict what I want to do and when I want to do - if I want to go to South America next week then I can, if I want to stay in China for the rest of my working life then I can - no-one is wagging a finger in my face telling me I can't - the courts can't take any of my money off me to give to an ex-wife who is f***ing the milkman.

Saying that, I would have happily got married in my twenties if I had met the right person - thankfully it didn't happen and now I have an enjoyable life in middle age.

Also, marriage, kids and families costs lots of money, I can afford to retire at 65 and it won't cost me that much money and I can live where I choose and not near my wife's family. Why would anyone want to marry as they approach middle age beats me - it is certainly more of a young man's game and then only for the right kind of man who is suited to marriage. Not me.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I would have happily got married in my twenties if I had met the right person - thankfully it didn't happen and now I have an enjoyable life in middle age.

It sounds to me that you were just smart enough to realize that the "right person" did not exist. Every single man who marries feels he chose the right person, even those who end up getting cheated on, divorced raped, and even murdered by their wives.

Personally, I would rather live in my own home and get up when I want and do what I want - what do I really want a wife and kids for? All they do is restrict what I want to do and when I want to do - if I want to go to South America next week then I can, if I want to stay in China for the rest of my working life then I can - no-one is wagging a finger in my face telling me I can't - the courts can't take any of my money off me to give to an ex-wife who is f***ing the milkman.

I truly believe married men know all this, but they have bought into the dupe too deeply and they are not smart or strong enough to get out. The worse ones are those who will try to convince you that the sky is green and the sea is purple all in an attempt to shield their egos from destruction. I say let them suffer.

If these men were so proud and happy to be married, they should proudly post photos of their wives on this forum and see what happens. I'd soon have them rushing to get a divorce in about an hour or two.

[yick]

I would have happily got married in my twenties if I had met the right person - thankfully it didn't happen and now I have an enjoyable life in middle age.

It sounds to me that you were just smart enough to realize that the "right person" did not exist. Every single man who marries feels he chose the right person, even those who end up getting cheated on, divorced raped, and even murdered by their wives.

Personally, I would rather live in my own home and get up when I want and do what I want - what do I really want a wife and kids for? All they do is restrict what I want to do and when I want to do - if I want to go to South America next week then I can, if I want to stay in China for the rest of my working life then I can - no-one is wagging a finger in my face telling me I can't - the courts can't take any of my money off me to give to an ex-wife who is f***ing the milkman.

I truly believe married men know all this, but they have bought into the dupe too deeply and they are not smart or strong enough to get out. The worse ones are those who will try to convince you that the sky is green and the sea is purple all in an attempt to shield their egos from destruction. I say let them suffer.

If these men were so proud and happy to be married, they should proudly post photos of their wives on this forum and see what happens. I'd soon have them rushing to get a divorce in about an hour or two.

You're probably right, CE that deep down at a subconcious level that marriage was something I didn't want because that perfect person didn't exist where marriage was a long term solution for a better life but it has only been in the last ten years that I realised it was ME who wasn't suited to it and what I think what the problem is with a lot of men is that they juat don't have that kind of critical self-reflection (especially in their twenties) where they think they can change or their wives can change or their situation might change - their finances might improve or lady luck comes along and improves everything - a lot of people get married in their twenties because they think that can happen and get hurt, disappointed or destroyed when it doesn't and divorce looms.

Middle age is like the magic mirror when it comes to marriage, relationships and kids - it reveals everything because you see your friends and family getting burned out after 15-20 years of marriage, I have a cousin with a few kids and he is saving for Christmas the February after Christmas because he just can't f***ing afford it otherwise, even my own father with his family (us...) worked 60 plus hours every week until he was 65 to keep the house going.

I can't do that, it's definitely me who doesn't want that for sure - even if the woman was the best, most kindest woman in the world who loved me very much - she would have to be very very special for me to even contemplate it - I can't say it could never ever happen but I know it isn't a good bet really.

[yick]

Also for middle aged men who want to marry younger women - you need to be comfortable with the fact that your main role is one of an ATM and that you're there to cater for her needs and the needs of her family - I like Filipinas, I like them in their twenties, I could find one to marry this year - a pretty nurse who has been to university or something like - and all my family would her accept her and she would fit in with my Latin American family but if there is a 20 year age difference then that's the reason why - and I have to accept those financial responsibilities - she would give me children whom I would love dearly but how many times can I say to the likes of Uncle Pedro who wants a jeepney 'no' or other members of the family who want and need things because I am sure there are members of a lot of Filipino families who want and need money and I am the kind of ATM that barely has enough for myself...

It would be great to focus on the good things, and the good things are good - I like the women and they're culturally compatible to me and my wider family and they can give me things like children but the overall balance isn't weighing down on my favour at all - if I was younger then maybe but not now.

The only women I would marry are Chinese, Filipinas, Russian and Latin American - at my age - marrying a British woman means marrying a divorced single mum who would have more issues than Time magazine. I would rather not have sex again if that was my only choice.

[flowerthief00]

That marriage is restrictive to the man doesn't tell the whole story. Contracts by design are restrictive. The whole point is for a contract to be mutually restrictive in a way that is mutually beneficial, whether it's a marriage contract, or a business contract, or an apartment rental contract, etc.

The traditional contract between men and women included expectations, legal and cultural, for both. In the case of the woman, that included remaining a virgin at time of being wed, bearing children, attending to domestic duties such as cooking and cleaning, submitting to the man's authority, and absolute fidelity. (Women would be hesitant to cheat knowing that they could be thrown out on the street for it with all claim to the husband's resources cut off from them forever)

With expectations for one party gone, expectations for the other must also be removed in order for the contract to make the slightest bit of sense.

Imagine an apartment rental contract that outlines responsibilities for both tenant and landlord:

The tenant is responsible for paying a certain amount by a certain date every month, adhering to property rules, having the property in good condition upon check-out, etc.

The landlord is responsible for attending to necessary repairs, not intruding onto the property without permission from the tenant, not changing the rent amount for the contract's duration, etc.

Now imagine that one party gets to strike out all her responsibilities from the contract. Who in their right mind would enter into a contract like that?

That is why, in modern marriage and modern relationships, a man cannot must not be responsible for taking care of the woman. She has shed off her traditional gender role so he must do likewise, though it may result in the contract they are signing becoming a blank sheet of paper rendering the entire thing pointless at best.

[ladislav]

His advice is mainly for the Anglo world. Here in Cambodia, marriages are strong, kids are sane, society is mentally healthy, most women are virgins and so it is in the majority of the world. Remember that any wisdom given in English by a Western citizen is usually locale- dependent.