Do you honestly see a future with a foreign woman or an American woman?

[re85with]

I would like for you all to be truthful:

Can you see yourself with a woman from Ukraine, Colombia, or any other non-Westernized country?

Or do you see yourself with a lady from United States or the Western world?

[Yohan]

I am with a Japanese woman since more than 40 years, living in Asia and not in Europe anymore.

A long time ago, as a young man, I had this idea, that it is much easier to find a local girl to live with you - because your educational background, culture, language, food etc, - simply said your way of daily life is similar to her daily way of life.

However I had to learn and to accept the fact, that this is not always true.

Of course there are also some difficulties if you relocate far away and decide to live with a woman of different race and language in HER country as the only foreign man around in your new neighborhood.

For sure relocation and settle down far away from your native country is not for everybody.

It depends on your individual situation.
If you are born rich and have nice people around you why to leave your own country?
But if you are born poor and women around you are psycho, arrogant, violent etc.... as in my case, why to stay with them?

[yick]

I am not American but do I see myself with a future with a British woman?

No, past 30, all that's available are single mothers. If you don't mind being a step-father (which I do mind very much...) I am sure some of these ladies are fantastic and have good qualities but I don't want that situation. Many men back home tolerate it because that is all that's available. I would rather be single than put up with that shite. Also, I will never return to the UK to live full time, so meeting a British woman isn't on the cards.

I could probably see myself with a lady from 'The Western World' that is a very big umbrella for a start! There's going to be one person compatible to me out of such a big area, but I am also happy if I ended up with an Asian lady or a lady from Latin America or Eastern Europe - compatibility is a big factor rather than where they are from.

[yick]

I think most men aren't really equipped to deal with a foreign wife and a foreign culture - the likes of Yohan are pretty rare to be honest. I am similar to him but most men would drown if they had to marry a foreign wife and live in her culture. I don't think many men I know would want that and would prefer someone of their own race and culture (saying that, I know they would fancy women of different races... but marrying into a family thousands of miles away from their home country would be pretty traumatic for a lot of men...).

[MrMan]

I think most men aren't really equipped to deal with a foreign wife and a foreign culture - the likes of Yohan are pretty rare to be honest. I am similar to him but most men would drown if they had to marry a foreign wife and live in her culture. I don't think many men I know would want that and would prefer someone of their own race and culture (saying that, I know they would fancy women of different races... but marrying into a family thousands of miles away from their home country would be pretty traumatic for a lot of men...).

I was a young English teacher who liked living abroad. I'd spent time in South Korea and I was working in Indonesia. I married an Indonesian woman.

The cultural differences have not been huge and insurmountable. For me personally, the hassle of overcoming cultural differences seem less than the hassle of marrying someone who is from this bad-marriage-culture that I know and understand better. The biggest cultural 'problem' I face has to do with the fact that my wife's culture is big on giving advice and long speeches, so interaction in conversation with my wife took some getting used to and occasionally causes some mild irritation today. I read in a book that Americans are tennis players when it comes to conversation, while many Asians are bowlers. They want to talk for a long time when it is their turn. We like a lot of back and forth, discussing each point.

Some of the cultures in Indonesia hide their emotions. Her people are more likely to wear their hearts on their sleeves, the women at least. Not always to that extreme, but they tell you if they don't like each other. Their cultural traditions of giving advice and even criticism are different from the Javanese, which are the near polar opposite. That's good because she doesn't hide what she feels. But being too free about what she thinks can be a downside if she's in a bad or critical mood. Overall, I think it is a positive, especially in the beginning part of the relationship when you are getting to know each other. Relatives are relatively straightforward about what they think, at least on par with Americans, I think.

When I visit her parents, they don't try to control my decisions or movements. I don't care that much because I don't have social connections or a car when I go to their town, which is rare. When I go to the ancestral village, paying some cousin to drive us, an uncle and other relatives will discuss when we can go here and there. It's overreaching, IMO, but I don't really have to follow their advice except if the driver is there and thinks that's how it goes. But I've only been there a few times, and I can veto plans if they make them in Indonesian. It's a rare thing.

It is the culture to support parents, but I think that's good, and if my parents weren't set up pretty well with retirement, I'd want to send them money. Money I send Indonesian parents is small money, maybe $70 to $100 a month and I earn a pretty decent living, and my wife is bringing in money with her online activities these days, so it's no big deal.

On the positive side, I got a wife from a culture where women are supposed to cook and take care of the house. They value being a wife and mother over there, even now. So she is concerned with being a good wife and constantly wants to improve her cooking skills. One of the problems we face is that if we want to go out for something nice, she usually cooks it better than the restaurant, so steakhouse steaks are bland compared to hers. She can cook Indonesian food, but also various Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Korean, and even American/European dishes.

We have common values from our faith. We are from very similar religious backgrounds-- not her parents and how she was raised, but where she went to church from the time she was a teenager. So we have that in common and we have a common set of values and expectations for our family and the home.

I heard someone online complain about never having 'real vacations' because of the obligation to spend that money to go to one continent or another. There is some truth to that. But where her extended family lives, while sort of primitive, is sort of cool, near a restort area that has one of the largest and most interesting lakes in the world. It's kind of a cool place to go to visit. Indonesia has a lot of interesting places to see in general. My parents don't live in as interesting of a place in the US.

[Spencer]

I think most men aren't really equipped to deal with a foreign wife and a foreign culture - the likes of Yohan are pretty rare to be honest. I am similar to him but most men would drown if they had to marry a foreign wife and live in her culture. I don't think many men I know would want that and would prefer someone of their own race and culture (saying that, I know they would fancy women of different races... but marrying into a family thousands of miles away from their home country would be pretty traumatic for a lot of men...).

I was a young English teacher who liked living abroad. I'd spent time in South Korea and I was working in Indonesia. I married an Indonesian woman.

The cultural differences have not been huge and insurmountable. For me personally, the hassle of overcoming cultural differences seem less than the hassle of marrying someone who is from this bad-marriage-culture that I know and understand better. The biggest cultural 'problem' I face has to do with the fact that my wife's culture is big on giving advice and long speeches, so interaction in conversation with my wife took some getting used to and occasionally causes some mild irritation today. I read in a book that Americans are tennis players when it comes to conversation, while many Asians are bowlers. They want to talk for a long time when it is their turn. We like a lot of back and forth, discussing each point.

Some of the cultures in Indonesia hide their emotions. Her people are more likely to wear their hearts on their sleeves, the women at least. Not always to that extreme, but they tell you if they don't like each other. Their cultural traditions of giving advice and even criticism are different from the Javanese, which are the near polar opposite. That's good because she doesn't hide what she feels. But being too free about what she thinks can be a downside if she's in a bad or critical mood. Overall, I think it is a positive, especially in the beginning part of the relationship when you are getting to know each other. Relatives are relatively straightforward about what they think, at least on par with Americans, I think.

When I visit her parents, they don't try to control my decisions or movements. I don't care that much because I don't have social connections or a car when I go to their town, which is rare. When I go to the ancestral village, paying some cousin to drive us, an uncle and other relatives will discuss when we can go here and there. It's overreaching, IMO, but I don't really have to follow their advice except if the driver is there and thinks that's how it goes. But I've only been there a few times, and I can veto plans if they make them in Indonesian. It's a rare thing.

It is the culture to support parents, but I think that's good, and if my parents weren't set up pretty well with retirement, I'd want to send them money. Money I send Indonesian parents is small money, maybe $70 to $100 a month and I earn a pretty decent living, and my wife is bringing in money with her online activities these days, so it's no big deal.

On the positive side, I got a wife from a culture where women are supposed to cook and take care of the house. They value being a wife and mother over there, even now. So she is concerned with being a good wife and constantly wants to improve her cooking skills. One of the problems we face is that if we want to go out for something nice, she usually cooks it better than the restaurant, so steakhouse steaks are bland compared to hers. She can cook Indonesian food, but also various Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Korean, and even American/European dishes.

We have common values from our faith. We are from very similar religious backgrounds-- not her parents and how she was raised, but where she went to church from the time she was a teenager. So we have that in common and we have a common set of values and expectations for our family and the home.

I heard someone online complain about never having 'real vacations' because of the obligation to spend that money to go to one continent or another. There is some truth to that. But where her extended family lives, while sort of primitive, is sort of cool, near a restort area that has one of the largest and most interesting lakes in the world. It's kind of a cool place to go to visit. Indonesia has a lot of interesting places to see in general. My parents don't live in as interesting of a place in the US.

Very interesting...if wife not javanese what is she there is it bali or indonesia chinawoman and what indonesian group go way over to madgasar hiland is same as you wife or no and what big main indonesia people grouping except javanese

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Short term, American because I have to be here till the end of the year. Long term, Eastern European all day!

[MrMan]

I think most men aren't really equipped to deal with a foreign wife and a foreign culture - the likes of Yohan are pretty rare to be honest. I am similar to him but most men would drown if they had to marry a foreign wife and live in her culture. I don't think many men I know would want that and would prefer someone of their own race and culture (saying that, I know they would fancy women of different races... but marrying into a family thousands of miles away from their home country would be pretty traumatic for a lot of men...).

I was a young English teacher who liked living abroad. I'd spent time in South Korea and I was working in Indonesia. I married an Indonesian woman.

The cultural differences have not been huge and insurmountable. For me personally, the hassle of overcoming cultural differences seem less than the hassle of marrying someone who is from this bad-marriage-culture that I know and understand better. The biggest cultural 'problem' I face has to do with the fact that my wife's culture is big on giving advice and long speeches, so interaction in conversation with my wife took some getting used to and occasionally causes some mild irritation today. I read in a book that Americans are tennis players when it comes to conversation, while many Asians are bowlers. They want to talk for a long time when it is their turn. We like a lot of back and forth, discussing each point.

Some of the cultures in Indonesia hide their emotions. Her people are more likely to wear their hearts on their sleeves, the women at least. Not always to that extreme, but they tell you if they don't like each other. Their cultural traditions of giving advice and even criticism are different from the Javanese, which are the near polar opposite. That's good because she doesn't hide what she feels. But being too free about what she thinks can be a downside if she's in a bad or critical mood. Overall, I think it is a positive, especially in the beginning part of the relationship when you are getting to know each other. Relatives are relatively straightforward about what they think, at least on par with Americans, I think.

When I visit her parents, they don't try to control my decisions or movements. I don't care that much because I don't have social connections or a car when I go to their town, which is rare. When I go to the ancestral village, paying some cousin to drive us, an uncle and other relatives will discuss when we can go here and there. It's overreaching, IMO, but I don't really have to follow their advice except if the driver is there and thinks that's how it goes. But I've only been there a few times, and I can veto plans if they make them in Indonesian. It's a rare thing.

It is the culture to support parents, but I think that's good, and if my parents weren't set up pretty well with retirement, I'd want to send them money. Money I send Indonesian parents is small money, maybe $70 to $100 a month and I earn a pretty decent living, and my wife is bringing in money with her online activities these days, so it's no big deal.

On the positive side, I got a wife from a culture where women are supposed to cook and take care of the house. They value being a wife and mother over there, even now. So she is concerned with being a good wife and constantly wants to improve her cooking skills. One of the problems we face is that if we want to go out for something nice, she usually cooks it better than the restaurant, so steakhouse steaks are bland compared to hers. She can cook Indonesian food, but also various Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Korean, and even American/European dishes.

We have common values from our faith. We are from very similar religious backgrounds-- not her parents and how she was raised, but where she went to church from the time she was a teenager. So we have that in common and we have a common set of values and expectations for our family and the home.

I heard someone online complain about never having 'real vacations' because of the obligation to spend that money to go to one continent or another. There is some truth to that. But where her extended family lives, while sort of primitive, is sort of cool, near a restort area that has one of the largest and most interesting lakes in the world. It's kind of a cool place to go to visit. Indonesia has a lot of interesting places to see in general. My parents don't live in as interesting of a place in the US.

Very interesting...if wife not javanese what is she there is it bali or indonesia chinawoman and what indonesian group go way over to madgasar hiland is same as you wife or no and what big main indonesia people grouping except javanese

Javanese is the biggest ethnic group. There are other ethnic groups like Sunda, Madura, Bangka, Batak, Batak Karo, Nias, Manado, Ambon, Padang or Minangkabau, Jambi, Aceh, Sumbawa, Timur, Dayak, Makasar, Bugis, Dani, Ayamaru, Asmat, Malayu, Cina, and many, many other ethnic groups. Indonesia has hundreds of languages Javanese have different accents, western, middle, and eastern Javanese. In Indonesia, Malayu is it's own people-group. In Malaysia, a lot of these peoples are considered to be Malyu. They might say Malayu-Jawa for Javanese. But what is a member of the Malayu people-group as Indonesians identify it would just be 'Malayu' in Malaysia without another descriptor.

Back in the day, there were a number of Bugis pirates, so the word 'boogies' and 'boogie man' came into the English language, named after these people. I knew one Bugis, a pretty girl, half Bugis, actually. She was a pretty girl, and did not look like she came from a race of boogiemen. Sailors also brought back words like cooties from the Malay word 'kutu' and 'run amok' comes from an Indonesian word for anger. If a baby is having a fit, hw mother might say he 'mengamok'.

[hypermak]

I see a future with "a" woman, it doesn't matter if she is from Italy, the Philippines or Venezuela. I am blessed with a job that can take me around the world and give me a chance to meet all sorts of women. When I am ready to settle and when I find the right lady for me, she will be "my future"

[Cornfed]

I see a future with "a" woman, it doesn't matter if she is from Italy, the Philippines or Venezuela. I am blessed with a job that can take me around the world and give me a chance to meet all sorts of women. When I am ready to settle and when I find the right lady for me, she will be "my future"

You don't think you'll be too old by then? I think I am too old in the current society and in any future society if this shit goes on for much longer.

[hypermak]

I see a future with "a" woman, it doesn't matter if she is from Italy, the Philippines or Venezuela. I am blessed with a job that can take me around the world and give me a chance to meet all sorts of women. When I am ready to settle and when I find the right lady for me, she will be "my future"

You don't think you'll be too old by then? I think I am too old in the current society and in any future society if this shit goes on for much longer.

Not so much in the UK, but in Malta and here in the Philippines I have met a fair share of young women who I would consider long term relationship material. Unless the collapse of moral standards accelerates dramatically in the next few years (might well be the case!), I think I should be able to meet one decent girl and start a relationship with her. I am 32 now and hopefully by then I will be in my mid to late 30s. Don't think I'd be too old.

[Cornfed]

Not so much in the UK, but in Malta and here in the Philippines I have met a fair share of young women who I would consider long term relationship material. Unless the collapse of moral standards accelerates dramatically in the next few years (might well be the case!), I think I should be able to meet one decent girl and start a relationship with her. I am 32 now and hopefully by then I will be in my mid to late 30s. Don't think I'd be too old.

In the current climate, you are likely going to fail. Sorry dude, but that's how it is.

[hypermak]

In the current climate, you are likely going to fail. Sorry dude, but that's how it is.

That's OK by me. I am not in a hurry. Do you think there's no hope anywhere in the world?

Please consider that I have already found a bunch of good girls. My "gamble" is that I will continue to meet them in the next 3-5 years.

[Spencer]

I see a future with "a" woman, it doesn't matter if she is from Italy, the Philippines or Venezuela. I am blessed with a job that can take me around the world and give me a chance to meet all sorts of women. When I am ready to settle and when I find the right lady for me, she will be "my future"

You don't think you'll be too old by then? I think I am too old in the current society and in any future society if this shit goes on for much longer.

Not so much in the UK, but in Malta and here in the Philippines I have met a fair share of young women who I would consider long term relationship material. Unless the collapse of moral standards accelerates dramatically in the next few years (might well be the case!), I think I should be able to meet one decent girl and start a relationship with her. I am 32 now and hopefully by then I will be in my mid to late 30s. Don't think I'd be too old.

So you on happy aboard all hour day night but wait no so busy kitchen day night but no now we see you also duende about manila dating and chase girl wow you make day last 72 hours so profoundity

[lordofcode513]

I could see myself with a foreign woman.

Yes it will take some effort learning the culture & language but I’m ready for it.

I’m going to avoid dating in countries that regarded as “1st tier” (US,UK,CA,AU) as the women are heavily influenced to the point of complete ruin.