IraqVet2003 wrote: ↑November 21st, 2021, 1:15 pm
jamesbond wrote: ↑November 21st, 2021, 1:14 am
This guy explains why you should not date ugly women.
Hey Jamesbond, this was a another great video. He made some excellent points on why men should really select women based on her inner qualities or character. Not just her looks. However, I believe in being with a woman to whom I have a MUTUAL attraction to. But not the crazy belief of "take what you can get" or "she's easy" because the woman is ugly. Besides, when any man approaches a women in desperation, that gives her power over him in the relationship. I think it's just better to happy alone than to be miserable with somebody!!!
My wife and I were talking to a guy at church, who was probably in his 40's at the time, who had never married. He said, about finding a woman to marry, looks are not important.
I said, "Looks are not important? Have I got a girl for you!" I was just joking, sort of. I actually did have one of my wife's friends in mind, but I wasn't going to say that I was thinking she wasn't attractive. She seems to be a really nice person. It turns out looks were important to the guy after prying a bit.
It does not make sense for a man to date a woman he thinks is ugly. Maybe if a man does not care that much about looks, he can date a physically unattractive girl that he considers to be attractive for other reasons, personality or character or whatever. She wouldn't be an 'ugly girl' to him if that is the case.
It is best if you get a woman that you are thankful to God for, that you feel blessed to have met and to have ended up with, and if she feels the same way about you. Back when we were engaged and getting married, wife and I were like that, so thankful to have met each other and thankful to be getting married. We expressed this idea to each other. That's the best mindset and attitude to have, and to treat each other this way.
If a man is just settling for a girl he thinks is ugly to reduce stress, that's not a really good thing for her. It's not good for the man who gets a girl who thinks she can do much better.
I also wonder about the guys idea in the video that men date ugly girls thinking they will have low stress in the relationship because they jump through hoops for the pretty girl. Realistically, if you are with a pretty girl for a while, after a while that, "Oh, wow, she is so beautiful" wears off and you get to know the person and you have to get along with this person. I sure thought my wife was beautiful when I met her. And sure, many months into dating her and also into marriage I would look at her and think how pretty she was at times, and I still do years later. But I was not nervous because she was pretty after we got to talking, really clicked, and started to get to know each other. We felt comfortable together, and that was part of the attraction, like it is with many relationships with people who hit it off. We also had a language barrier, but still clicked, even though we couldn't always understand each other.
Maybe I got my ego puffed up a bit at the time, though. Occasionally, girls would seem to show some interest to me in the US. I was kind of blind to it, though, especially if I wasn't attracted to them. But this really ramped up in Indonesia. Whites were high status 'catches' for women there, and I was at prime marrying age over there. Being different got me female attention, and some women were attracted to white men. So there were women trying to get close to me, trying to make friends, giving me gifts to give my mom when I went home for Christmas (someone explained later they were hoping to warm up a future mother-in-law). By the time I met my wife, I wasn't sitting around wondering what if women don't like me. I was thinking I really needed to find a really good woman to be my wife and trying to find one I wanted who was a good fit, not just a 9 or 10 for looks, but also who had the faith, character, etc. that I needed in a wife.
If a woman looks ugly to you, she might not look ugly to someone else. There are those who believe that men marry women that have traits similar to their mothers. So if your mother was 250 pounds when you were a little kid, that is your idea of what a woman is. So, while you might tell your buddies in high school that the supermodel on a poster is hot, secretly, on some level, you are attracted to the 250 pound girl in class with the fat hanging over her bra strap on the back of her T-shirt. That's probably why these girls eventually end up dating, maybe even marrying someone.