Why Are Men Shamed for Wanting a Relationship?

[male-feminist]

Does anyone else not think this is extremely weird? That Men are actively shamed if they show any intention of wanting to find a Girlfriend/Wife.

Men are called "desperate" and "needy" if they say they want a relationship, even though human beings are social creatures and it is perfectly normal to want a relationship. Not everybody wants to be alone or a player for the rest of their lives.

What do people expect men to do, if they cannot actively look for a relationship? I just find this whole thing really weird, why has society tried so hard to normalise shaming men for wanting a relationship?

I've noticed this phenomenon both online and off-line, but I have never seen anyone actually talk about it.

[jamesbond]

Does anyone else not think this is extremely weird? That Men are actively shamed if they show any intention of wanting to find a Girlfriend/Wife.

Men are called "desperate" and "needy" if they say they want a relationship, even though human beings are social creatures and it is perfectly normal to want a relationship. Not everybody wants to be alone or a player for the rest of their lives.

What do people expect men to do, if they cannot actively look for a relationship? I just find this whole thing really weird, why has society tried so hard to normalise shaming men for wanting a relationship?

I've noticed this phenomenon both online and off-line, but I have never seen anyone actually talk about it.

I have noticed the same thing, it's bizarre but true. Winston has also talked about this in the past, how if you show too much interest in a woman she may think your a creep and desperate.

Also, have you noticed that men even pursuing women is considered "creepy" and "weird." For example, if you cold approach a woman she may think you are a weirdo or a creep (just because you started a conversation with her). It's almost as if men in America are not supposed to have any sexual desires for women.

In other countries (Philippines, Thailand, Brazil, Columbia, Russia, Ukraine, Poland just to name a few) it's not considered "creepy" or "weird" if men pursue women or if men want a relationship with a woman. It's only considered wrong for men to want a relationship with a woman or to want to pursue women in the United States. My friends have noticed the same thing. No wonder why there are so many lonely men in America.

[NPCslammer]

Does anyone else not think this is extremely weird? That Men are actively shamed if they show any intention of wanting to find a Girlfriend/Wife.

Men are called "desperate" and "needy" if they say they want a relationship, even though human beings are social creatures and it is perfectly normal to want a relationship. Not everybody wants to be alone or a player for the rest of their lives.

What do people expect men to do, if they cannot actively look for a relationship? I just find this whole thing really weird, why has society tried so hard to normalise shaming men for wanting a relationship?

I've noticed this phenomenon both online and off-line, but I have never seen anyone actually talk about it.

Men’s kryptonite is women. Men crave that relationship so badly, and I’m not blaming them. But the problem is that most women don’t want men as badly as men want women, not even close. And if a man does get one he will probably find that in the long term the woman makes his life a giant pain in the ass. Betrayal with Western women especially, is almost guaranteed. Men should at least try to go mgtow monk. They can save themselves tons of money, pain, stress and their health. Oh yeah, and guess what, even if you find a unicorn that’s still not a guarantee you’ll be happy. You will be more tied down, will have to make compromises, might get tired of not having enough time to yourself, get bored etc..

[jamesbond]

Men’s kryptonite is women. Men crave that relationship so badly, and I’m not blaming them. But the problem is that most women don’t want men as badly as men want women, not even close.

It does seem (at least in America) that men desire women more than women desire men. There are more men who want a girlfriend or wife than there are women who want a boyfriend or husband. This isn't true in most other countries (like the Philippines, Thailand, Brazil Russia just to name a few countries).

It explains why there are so many lonely men in America. It also explains why so many men in the US travel abroad to find a girlfriend or a wife.

[Yohan]

It does seem (at least in America) that men desire women more than women desire men. There are more men who want a girlfriend or wife than there are women who want a boyfriend or husband. This isn't true in most other countries (like the Philippines, Thailand, Brazil Russia just to name a few countries).
It explains why there are so many lonely men in America. It also explains why so many men in the US travel abroad to find a girlfriend or a wife.

It is not everywhere like in USA or UK, those countries are especially bad towards men, it's a hateful toxic environment against men, considering them as second class citizens.

However also here in Japan there are some problems to find a reasonable girlfriend, despite laws are not against men at all, for example divorce rulings or dating a single mother with children etc. and Japanese men and women are not hateful and mistrusting against each other.
Unlike India or China there was never any discrimination against newborns considering girls as undesirable etc.

In Japan there is not such a huge gender imbalance of millions of females missing.

----

Nevertheless this year again, there was a listing about all men and women who are this year 18 y/o and for the first time considered as adults.

Male 610.000 - Females 590.000,
difference 20.000 less females than men.

Further, there were some opinion polls at the same time in universities and companies, internet surveys etc. for this young age group.

The result:

25 % of all men clearly refuse to consider a relationship with a female
35 % of all women clearly refuse to consider a relationship with a man.

This means in this young age group there is a gender imbalance and
457.500 men are facing 383.500 women -

a difference of 74.000 men who are looking for a relationship, but cannot find a local girl, as there is none...

You don't notice that so much in the large Japanese cities, but if you look around in rural areas you will notice there are almost no young females at all, only old couples and young men, very few elementary schools with few children only.

As a result again, population is also shrinking - about every year 500.000 people less, as there are less births than funerals.

Solution: I don't know. Many men just gave up, other men looking for a foreign (but Asian) wife...

[Winston]

I've wondered about that too. It's not just wanting a relationship. Even wanting a date feels taboo. Or signaling your interest in a woman. Or even simple flirting. It feels wrong and taboo in USA and Taiwan, especially in places where people are VERY reserved and repressed to the point of being inhuman, like the Pacific Northwest or Taiwan.

But this begs a question, since you do see couples everywhere when you go out, then you gotta wonder: How do normal men find girlfriends or wives then? I've never understood this. It's one of the biggest contradictions in this world. No one dares to ask this question or answer it.

The only explanation that fits the contradiction is that it's not up to us. Life is scripted and if you are meant to be with someone it happens naturally, with the flow. You do not make it happen or choose it. It's part of your destiny or script. That's why premonitions which come true are common, because life is scripted and the future may be too. There seems to be a hidden order or hidden hand behind life and world events. Too many synchronicities point to this.

If you ask married couples how they met, they will always tell you they met in a natural way like school, work, or through friends. They do not do anything special or have special skills. They did not meet because the man had any PUA skills or seduction techniques. The average person does not have any special social skills or game or PUA, they just go with the flow. Therefore, no one makes things happen, they just follow their destiny or script. This isn't what most Americans want to hear, but there's no other explanation that fits all the data and what we see in this world. Like Sherlock Holmes said, the best explanation is the one that FITS that facts and data, not what you want to believe.

Also, most people are on auto pilot. Once you are plugged into the matrix and its Borg like hive, you don't need to think or ask these type of questions. Like bees in a bee hive, everything in your life is assigned, your work, your mate, your duties and functions, etc. You can just be on auto pilot, like bees are, and everything comes together. For some reason, misfits like us are not plugged into the hive, so we do not get our mates and roles assigned to use. We do not have a script in other words, because we are not plugged in. That may be weird to people are who are practical and materialistic, but it would explain a lot. Plus many scientists now claim that there is more evidence than ever than we are in a simulation, therefore this theory becomes more plausible.

Another factor going on is that in America, it's all about success and making money. This means you have to EARN your social status. People are NOT gonna like you for you. To be liked, you have to EARN it. It's not a free gift. But we are down to earth types who want genuine relationships and friendships where people like us for us. But America does NOT offer that. In America, people have to have a good reason to like you. There has to be BENEFIT to them to be your friend. Strangers do not chat unless it is BUSINESS related only. But we are not like that, we do not live for success or achievement. We want genuine down to earth relationships and friendships with others, which America simply does NOT offer. This is another reason why we are misfits. America does not offer social connection, everything is about success, money, and achievement. We do not fit into that type of culture and mentality. That creates a rift between us and America.

Does that make sense?

[jamesbond]

I've wondered about that too. It's not just wanting a relationship. Even wanting a date feels taboo. Or signaling your interest in a woman. Or even simple flirting. It feels wrong and taboo in USA and Taiwan, especially in places where people are VERY reserved and repressed to the point of being inhuman, like the Pacific Northwest or Taiwan.

But this begs a question, since you do see couples everywhere when you go out, then you gotta wonder: How do normal men find girlfriends or wives then? I've never understood this. It's one of the biggest contradictions in this world. No one dares to ask this question or answer it.

Most people meet their future spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend through their friends. Very few people meet their significant other through online dating. Almost no guy meets a woman through cold approaching. As a matter of fact, even PUA guys say that less than 1% of men have ever cold approached a woman in their entire life.

So I guess, the answer is try to meet women through your friends and try to make some new friends. You could also try the best route, which is to go abroad to meet women.