Do you guys think approaching women at bars originated more in Anglo or African culture as opposed to European culture?

[ArchibaultNew]

Hey guys,

I have been studying Spanish, French and German. Plus talking to you guys I have noticed the following:

Latin Europe

Spain: People usually date within their social circles. People don't go to bars on their own.

France: Exactly, the same culture tight knit social circles, people party with the friends from their circle.

Germanic European

Germany: Based on what you guys are saying most guys are shy and not approaching.

Sweden: I have heard similar ideas from Sweden.

Anglosphere(British and Irish)

-The whole notion of "getting drunk' and approaching random people seems to be more traditional part of "lad culture" in some places in Britain.

-In some songs from the 1980s some Irish bands sing about getting drunks, hooking up with someone new and then regretting it.

African America Culture

It seems to me that the whole "being a player" is prized in this culture. Especially, in the whole "rap culture." Where you get laid all the time and don't pay. There's even some who want to make money off women. This view of masculinity is different from some more conservative societies where a man is expected to provide for women.

PS: I've heard that "working class" Scottish Culture had an influence on African American culture. From there you see developments. For instance, "Rock and Roll" music is actually neither British nor American but rather it is African American. Most of the songs Elvis played where covers from bands in Memphis.

[MrMan]

I'm thinking in the 1800's, a man hitting on a woman in a bar would have been a prostitute-saloon girl thing, not something a respectable woman would have done. But I'm probably getting my ideas more from fiction (movies, TV) than anything real and historical.

But from what I have read, in the early 20th century, most women met husbands through family networks and connections, and suitors might visit the home, the father might light a candle while the man spoke to the woman in the parlor or whatever space they used for that. When the candle was burnt out, the man knew it was time to go (not sure how wide-spread the candle thing was.) Parents could check and make sure they weren't making out or worse if they were at home. There was some chaperone culture in the 1800's. It probably depended on social class, too.

A woman might have more than one suitor. One might propose and the family might consider it, and of course the woman would, too. I do not know exactly when the father's permission started to become unimportant. This was probably a factor in the 1800's. Putting the decision as to whether a couple could be married into the hands of clergy instead of fathers had evolved over a much longer period of time. We see it in Romeo and Juliet. IMO, it was probably rebellious of the clergy who did such things to go along with it.

So when would women in bars be a thing? Well in the 1920's some of the girls who lived in or went to the cities went wild, with the flapper culture-- showing skin, going into clubs where illegal liquor was sold (during prohibition). I don't know if men picking up women in bars was the thing. Maybe men taking women to bars. Around that era, I read 'the boyfriend' had been invented, a new social trend promoted by women's magazines. Now a woman could get those romantic feelings satisfied outside of marriage in an 'institution' that other people recognized.

Men would ask women to dance at balls in British culture in the 1800's. On TV and movies I have seen similar things with square dancing and other types of dance portrayed in the US. It's possible that was the case.

Then there was WWII, USO dances with men asking women to dance, and things like that, so a man going up to a strange woman and talking to her was likely acceptable then, as opposed to the British in 'society' needing an introduction.

As for when women started going to bars, and men did, and the men picked up the women, my guess is some time after the 1920's. I do not think that is particularly 'black culture' but I would expect both black and whites developed some of these customs at the same time. They were not totally isolated from one another.

[MrMan]

This article touches on a lot of the issue, and probably will clear up your question, though it is not racially focused. I think some of the 'player' culture has been emphasized by Black culture and has influenced whites.

Here is the article: https://daily.jstor.org/no-unescorted-l ... be-served/

It talks a bit about the growth of mixed company public drinking during prohibition. Women who flirted with men in the 1950's were considered 'bar girls' and were considered to be of questionable morals. Over time, such morally questionable behavior became more socially acceptable, as feminists promoted doing away with male-only spaces. I wonder how many women have been raped because of this decision by the feminists.

From the article, it sounds like America used to be a bit more sane society, policing women a bit more than men, allowing for men to have male-only spaces, and valuing women's virginity and virtue enough to use social pressure and for businesses to set some rules to protect it. My guess is the growth of a sexually immoral culture combined with feminist's skewed concepts of social justice combined to make b-girls or bar girls more socially acceptable.

After the sexual revolution, pop culture promoted the idea of fornication and even adultery as if it were a morally good and desirable thing, a major goal in life to engage in it a lot. Along with this came a rise in divorce. Then acceptance of homosexuality by media, then the legal system and much of society. Now we are seeing legal and social acceptance of the idea of no sex, or any sex you want. Schools promote kids taking hormones, having doctors hack up their private parts to make them look like the opposite sex.

Gen Z has grown up with this insanity, but plenty of Gen-Xers who could tell that homosexual sex was vile are now on board with it as a social justice cause. Much of the society is made of sheep who will jump off a cliff of moral foolishness if the other sheep are jumping off.

If there isn't major repentance, I do not know what is next. My guess is that acceptance of incest will be next, probably before acceptance of child molestation and beastiality. The left wing has a lot of animal rights activists, and so I think that may be the last bastion. On the other hand, homosexual sex is more vile than incest if the two do not know they are closely related, but only slightly more vile to think about than beastiality. But I do not think vileness and repulsiveness has much to do with the progression of sexual wickedness in a society.

[MrMan]

Not sure about lad culture, but I wonder if British culture might have been influenced by American GIs in WWII. There could have been some cultural interchange there. Women and men mixing in bars could have been influenced by British feminism. A pub is a little different from a bar. Isn't it more of a food-beer, etc. kind of place than just a place to drink?

[Pixel--Dude]

I'm really not sure. I read the idea of pubs or taverns orginated with the Romans who built roads and had taverns every 20 miles or so to make travelling easier for their armies, merchants and colonists. But as for your question I really have no idea where the idea of approaching women in bars originated.

All I can say on the matter is that I can't stand pub culture, nor can I stand the dating scene. Pub culture, especially in the context of picking up girls is just a debauched meat market. Plus these days you have to buy girls drinks just for the privilege of being able to speak to them. They could have some guy picking them up drinks all night and then just go off with some other guy at the end of the night. Which is why if your intention is to get laid you ate better off just using a hooker. Whereas if you are looking for someone to establish a long term relationship with I'd say a pub or club is the wrong place to go.

Online dating isn't much better either. The sexual market place is skewed heavily in the favour of women, making it difficult for average guys, and impossible for eccentric guys, to get a woman. Online dating women have stipulations such as "must be taller than 6ft" etc and other unreasonable prerequisites for establishing a date. I dabbled in Online dating and just found it to be really unnatural and pretentious.

The only way to get a decent girlfriend in British culture, is to have a preestablished friendship with them first which naturally blossoms into something more romantic. Meeting girls in bars or on dating sites will never work out long term as most of these girls, whether they are drinking every weekend to the point where they don't know what they're doing, or still using dating sites despite being in a relationship. These are likely to end in failure. I'd never date a girl from a dating site or who I met in a pub. I'd rather be alone.

[Outcast9428]

I'm really not sure. I read the idea of pubs or taverns orginated with the Romans who built roads and had taverns every 20 miles or so to make travelling easier for their armies, merchants and colonists. But as for your question I really have no idea where the idea of approaching women in bars originated.

All I can say on the matter is that I can't stand pub culture, nor can I stand the dating scene. Pub culture, especially in the context of picking up girls is just a debauched meat market. Plus these days you have to buy girls drinks just for the privilege of being able to speak to them. They could have some guy picking them up drinks all night and then just go off with some other guy at the end of the night. Which is why if your intention is to get laid you ate better off just using a hooker. Whereas if you are looking for someone to establish a long term relationship with I'd say a pub or club is the wrong place to go.

Online dating isn't much better either. The sexual market place is skewed heavily in the favour of women, making it difficult for average guys, and impossible for eccentric guys, to get a woman. Online dating women have stipulations such as "must be taller than 6ft" etc and other unreasonable prerequisites for establishing a date. I dabbled in Online dating and just found it to be really unnatural and pretentious.

The only way to get a decent girlfriend in British culture, is to have a preestablished friendship with them first which naturally blossoms into something more romantic. Meeting girls in bars or on dating sites will never work out long term as most of these girls, whether they are drinking every weekend to the point where they don't know what they're doing, or still using dating sites despite being in a relationship. These are likely to end in failure. I'd never date a girl from a dating site or who I met in a pub. I'd rather be alone.

Britain really does sound like my former college campus turned into an entire country. I saw this meme that I thought was hilarious…



@MrMan

You can believe in animal rights without being a leftist. Also how does normalizing bestiality promote animal rights at all? That’s like saying you are going to support children by normalizing child molestation.

[Pixel--Dude]

I'm really not sure. I read the idea of pubs or taverns orginated with the Romans who built roads and had taverns every 20 miles or so to make travelling easier for their armies, merchants and colonists. But as for your question I really have no idea where the idea of approaching women in bars originated.

All I can say on the matter is that I can't stand pub culture, nor can I stand the dating scene. Pub culture, especially in the context of picking up girls is just a debauched meat market. Plus these days you have to buy girls drinks just for the privilege of being able to speak to them. They could have some guy picking them up drinks all night and then just go off with some other guy at the end of the night. Which is why if your intention is to get laid you ate better off just using a hooker. Whereas if you are looking for someone to establish a long term relationship with I'd say a pub or club is the wrong place to go.

Online dating isn't much better either. The sexual market place is skewed heavily in the favour of women, making it difficult for average guys, and impossible for eccentric guys, to get a woman. Online dating women have stipulations such as "must be taller than 6ft" etc and other unreasonable prerequisites for establishing a date. I dabbled in Online dating and just found it to be really unnatural and pretentious.

The only way to get a decent girlfriend in British culture, is to have a preestablished friendship with them first which naturally blossoms into something more romantic. Meeting girls in bars or on dating sites will never work out long term as most of these girls, whether they are drinking every weekend to the point where they don't know what they're doing, or still using dating sites despite being in a relationship. These are likely to end in failure. I'd never date a girl from a dating site or who I met in a pub. I'd rather be alone.

Britain really does sound like my former college campus turned into an entire country. I saw this meme that I thought was hilarious…



@MrMan

You can believe in animal rights without being a leftist. Also how does normalizing bestiality promote animal rights at all? That’s like saying you are going to support children by normalizing child molestation.

That meme has never been more relevant than it is today. Britain is becoming a bigger cesspit than it ever was! @Lucas88 and myself always refer to British culture as a culture of anti culture.

The values here are shit and nobody values basic things like love or compassion or empathy for others etc. I am starting to hate it here.

Bestiality isn't anything to do with advocating animal rights. Bestiality is abuse of animals and is no way connected to caring about their welfare. I stopped eating meat years ago because I don't want to contribute to the industry and the unnecessary suffering of these animals.