Why women cannot understand or relate to us

[NorthAmericanguy]

I will tell you a man introduced himself to me, nice man, later he told me he killed someone and spent nine years in jail for murder. For months this man has been chasing me, romantically. He said he loved me. I have never felt so much chemistry in my life, except with one man in the past and now this man. I know I could marry him if he becomes a different person. Even if he is poor, and has nothing to give me. He is all alpha. Talks like this, "What can I do to get you in my bed, grab you by the hair and drag you into my cave" and on and on. Muscles, tattoos, the whole nine yards, talks about who he beat up in the past, what he's going to do with other people. Even had the SWAT team with sharpshooters after him early this month. Tough guy. But he makes me feel a certain way. I cannot control that. I have not let him kiss me, because I know that It will be wrong to get involved romantically with this guy. Who knows if he won't kill me down the line. I still care about him, but it is dangerous for me.
Yet, the chemistry. If he changes his life, I might like one day to be his girl.

Why do girls go for convicts and ex-prisoners? They are everything we girls are not. Strong, tough, reckless hard, confident, unpredictable in their behavior. It takes us out of our feminine lifestyle of 'don't do this, don't do that'. I myself, was shocked at my primal responses to him, and wondered at first if there was something wrong with me or twisted.

But no, he brings to my mind the male before he urges became tamed. And in civilized society we need tame men, or serious disorder will ensue. But somewhere in women the prototype persist. We want the nice guys to be there for us but we long for the savage male. He talks about how he likes Conan the Barbarian. But in some ways, he has become Conan the Barbarian to me.

You sound like a woman I knew who lived in a nice area and lived a privileged life (her parents worked hard and gave her property) but chose to date an x convict. The guy did about 10 years in jail. And from what I was told, he was a big time drug dealer in NYC in the 80's. He did time for manslaughter.

This woman was PROUD that she was dating a former "kingpin" who could not keep down a job because he would get into fistfights with other men at the job, and now he had a drug usage problem himself. She took care of him; he did nothing but sit around the house and sleep, eat, and F888K her.

I met the guy myself, even at 40+ years old, he was an absolute brute and very masculine with big muscles.

I could not understand it, why would this single mother of 2 risk having a man like this around her children? What does this woman see in this man? She don't even need him financially.

Well, as time went on, I stopped caring because I figured out that the woman was equally as messed up in the head. She was a long time alcoholic, did not take care of her children properly, and was severely emotionally messed up that even her family members such as her own sister disowned her. In fact, this woman was the most mentally unstable woman who I ever met other than women who I have seen cracked out on the streets!!!

It was a sad sight to see, a woman who was once young and beautiful ruining her own health because of alcohol, her kids having to grow up in a dysfunctional home, and no family other then her mom because everybody else disowned her.






One other thing, I lost 2 friends to murder, and unless the murder was out of self defense, I think you're are dealing with a very sick individual who likes to boast about the fact that they killed somebody; and I find it equally as sick that you would entertain, and feel "safe" around such companionship. Really, he had sharp shooters after him? Just like in the movies! Cool!!!

Actually no, it's not cool! I have been to the funerals and it's not a pretty sight to see parents having to bury their kids, and to see the children of the deceased looking around wondering what's going on because they are too young to understand.

I mean really, I'm tired of people like you (mainly women) who never even come close to living the street life somehow find it "fun" and "entertaining" that a person could kill somebody else like an animal. I guarantee you that your thoughts will change if somebody murdered one of your family members!!!!!

Also, I will even go as far as to say this guy is a FAKE gangster! REAL gangsters don't talk s*** or brag about their exploits. At the very least, he's dumb to even be telling you anything because you could easily report him to the police and let them know you know of a guy they are looking for.



Anyhow, thanks for giving me more reasons to stay away from western women, you come off moderately intelligent but yet, you still have deep rooted "issues". And I hope you never have any kids, I bet all your sons (just like dad) will turn out to be criminals and villains adding to our already efffed up society.

[Jackal]

Wow, great post, Northamericanguy. You were able to express what I wasn't quite able to, and I'm sorry about the friends you lost.

I mean really, I'm tired of people like you (mainly women) who never even come close to living the street life somehow find it "fun" and "entertaining" that a person could kill somebody else like an animal. I guarantee you that your thoughts will change if somebody murdered one of your family members!!!!!

Exactly, someone should send these women looking for thrills to some African country which is in the middle of a civil war, so they could see huge amounts of human suffering first-hand and hopefully be shocked out of their stupid fascination with cruelty.

Also, I will even go as far as to say this guy is a FAKE gangster! REAL gangsters don't talk s*** or brag about their exploits.

Yeah, I think the statement "sharp shooters were after him" may be an exaggeration. It's more likely that snipers were watching him and were ready to take him out in a second if he did anything really stupid. I doubt he was single-handedly "evading" or "defeating" a group of well-positioned snipers and their SWAT team members. They were probably just following standard police procedures and using the minimum force necessary (some tough guys actually DO have ethics!).

Had a team of highly-trained snipers really wanted him dead, I'm sure he'd be dead by now. Muscles and trashy tattoos won't stop a precisely-aimed 7.62mm bullet!

[BellaRuth]

Why do girls go for convicts and ex-prisoners? They are everything we girls are not. Strong, tough, reckless hard, confident, unpredictable in their behavior. It takes us out of our feminine lifestyle of 'don't do this, don't do that'. I myself, was shocked at my primal responses to him, and wondered at first if there was something wrong with me or twisted.

But no, he brings to my mind the male before he urges became tamed. And in civilized society we need tame men, or serious disorder will ensue. But somewhere in women the prototype persist. We want the nice guys to be there for us but we long for the savage male. He talks about how he likes Conan the Barbarian. But in some ways, he has become Conan the Barbarian to me.

[/quote]

I just saw this and REALLY need to stress that this is NOT a universal trait for women.

I would never give a man like that the time of day. I go for nice guys who have no history of violence or crime whatsoever. I don't know anyone who would even entertain the notion of dating a man like the one you described.

He is not worth your time. Leave him alone and get someone who you deserve. I am tempted to think the only women these guys attract have rock-bottom self esteem. I can't understand it.

I do like men to be men. I only like masculine men. That doesn't mean he needs to be a thug. And a MURDERER? Bloody hell girl. Perhaps you need to see masculine energy used well instead of polluted.

[swincor]

I don't discount her automatically because she's a woman either. I was the first to admit that certain girls, including Bella, can provide useful insights. The fact is, a lot of what she says makes sense in light of my own experience.

My view is quite different. Not that I really disagree with what she's written, but I honestly haven't seen anything this Hardy has written here that adds new knowledge to what's already been established -- by other men, BTW. All she's done is merely repeat and confirm what's already been known for some time by men who know better. That is hardly "useful insights," and I think you overstate the profitability of such "insights" coming from females like hardy.

I really couldn't care less whether this hardy chick (or any other western chick, for that matter) has insight or not. Why do women give bad advice to men about dating? The question answers itself right there: it concedes women to be generally unreliable sources of advice.

A simpler, more practical question is: is it worth a man's while to seek women -- particularly American women as they currently exist -- in order to get dating advice? Based on observation and experience, my answer is "no." I don't know about you, but I seriously doubt we would have missed anything especially useful or helpful had we never heard of this hardy chick.

If you're an expat guy or thinking about expatriating, then you've already figured out that western women (particularly those of the English-speaking nations) are by and large damaged goods, unreliable as long-term mates. You may have to shop around for countries a bit, but once you step outside the US/UK/AUS, your dating/mating prospects with reliable, high quality women significantly increases. And then, you find you don't feel the need to seek Anglosphere women like Hardy for dating advice -- as such women become rather superfluous in the face of an overwhelming abundance of much higher quality women overseas.

[DaRick]

I don't discount her automatically because she's a woman either. I was the first to admit that certain girls, including Bella, can provide useful insights. The fact is, a lot of what she says makes sense in light of my own experience.

My view is quite different. Not that I really disagree with what she's written, but I honestly haven't seen anything this Hardy has written here that adds new knowledge to what's already been established -- by other men, BTW. All she's done is merely repeat and confirm what's already been known for some time by men who know better. That is hardly "useful insights," and I think you overstate the profitability of such "insights" coming from females like hardy.

I really couldn't care less whether this hardy chick (or any other western chick, for that matter) has insight or not. Why do women give bad advice to men about dating? The question answers itself right there: it concedes women to be generally unreliable sources of advice.

A simpler, more practical question is: is it worth a man's while to seek women -- particularly American women as they currently exist -- in order to get dating advice? Based on observation and experience, my answer is "no." I don't know about you, but I seriously doubt we would have missed anything especially useful or helpful had we never heard of this hardy chick.

If you're an expat guy or thinking about expatriating, then you've already figured out that western women (particularly those of the English-speaking nations) are by and large damaged goods, unreliable as long-term mates. You may have to shop around for countries a bit, but once you step outside the US/UK/AUS, your dating/mating prospects with reliable, high quality women significantly increases. And then, you find you don't feel the need to seek Anglosphere women like Hardy for dating advice -- as such women become rather superfluous in the face of an overwhelming abundance of much higher quality women overseas.

Good post.

In all honesty, I'm amazed that this Hardy individual (I suppose that she has 'a hardy' for bad boys, so her username seems appropriate) hasn't been absolutely bagged within this thread. She says a lot, but her 'work' is surprisingly easy to summarise. She basically justifies and epitomises some of the worst aspects of Anglo girls: hypergamous, degenerate (in mindset; what kind of person thinks that seeking out killers is a good idea - oh, I know, your typical ANGLO girl) and atavistic (her mentality and justifications for her behaviour invoke cavemen and whatnot). There is also the old adage: birds of a feather flock together. Doesn't her attraction to psychos give an indicator as to what kind of person she probably is? I mean, I don't seek out psychos (this is probably why I don't get on with Anglo women - we simply do not relate to each other), nor would any member on this forum bar her.

Basically, she is what most of us have spent most of our lives ardently trying to avoid. I'm all for giving her a voice, but I'm also all for slagging her off.

[swincor]

And I hope you never have any kids, I bet all your sons (just like dad) will turn out to be criminals and villains adding to our already efffed up society.

Yes, this psychologically defective American woman does make a case for some kind of sterilization program, which is actually a humane solution in both its application and repercussions.

[momopi]

If you're really bored and want to meet girls who are totally f*cked up, go to Garden Grove and visit Vietnamese bikini coffee shops. Beautiful Asian girls with enhanced boobies in g-strings serving coffee, with tattooed boyfriends in jail and f*cked up family, i.e. daddy issues, mothers that used to throw knives at her daughter, etc. I meet this cute 19 year old who was totally in love with a Viet gang banger who was in jail, and she turned down her parents offer to set her up with a Chinese-Viet doctor because she has no chemistry with "good boys".

Women who are like this are in the small minority, and exists in every racial/ethnic group. I know a few Taiwanese girls in TW who only date bad boys. Actually my mother and her sisters were like that when they were young. There was this TW girl I meet back in early 2000's, she only dated bad boys because she felt that they were bad because of bad things in their bodies, and by f*cking them she draws out all the bad things from their bodies with her vagina and she heals them and makes them whole again. o.O;; Um... OK. I suppose if I had yakuza tattoos and served time in jail, it'd make me much more appealing to her, but no thanks.

Guys who are stuck on bashing women who only date bad boys are looking for excuses to blame other people for their own lack of success in dating. Get over it and move on. Or, if you want to be a jerk and play the game, dress up like a punk and go to church.

[djfourmoney]

If you're really bored and want to meet girls who are totally f*cked up, go to Garden Grove and visit Vietnamese bikini coffee shops. Beautiful Asian girls with enhanced boobies in g-strings serving coffee, with tattooed boyfriends in jail and f*cked up family, i.e. daddy issues, mothers that used to throw knives at her daughter, etc. I meet this cute 19 year old who was totally in love with a Viet gang banger who was in jail, and she turned down her parents offer to set her up with a Chinese-Viet doctor because she has no chemistry with "good boys".

Women who are like this are in the small minority, and exists in every racial/ethnic group. I know a few Taiwanese girls in TW who only date bad boys. Actually my mother and her sisters were like that when they were young. There was this TW girl I meet back in early 2000's, she only dated bad boys because she felt that they were bad because of bad things in their bodies, and by f*cking them she draws out all the bad things from their bodies with her vagina and she heals them and makes them whole again. o.O;; Um... OK. I suppose if I had yakuza tattoos and served time in jail, it'd make me much more appealing to her, but no thanks.

Guys who are stuck on bashing women who only date bad boys are looking for excuses to blame other people for their own lack of success in dating. Get over it and move on. Or, if you want to be a jerk and play the game, dress up like a punk and go to church.

I agree Momopi I am solutions oriented, have always been.

Some complain just for the sake of complaining, I don't really have a problem with that. I am guilty myself, I already know the answer and have attempted to do something about it. For those that complain yet have never even made an effort and don't have a passport then they are just complainers and nothing else.

[DaRick]

Guys who are stuck on bashing women who only date bad boys are looking for excuses to blame other people for their own lack of success in dating. Get over it and move on. Or, if you want to be a jerk and play the game, dress up like a punk and go to church.

Well, it is true that Anglo women have a peculiar liking for scumbags, because many are scumbags themselves, because Anglo societies have given them a license to behave that way. If these societies gave men ample opportunity to behave that way, then our dating dynamics would resemble some FSU countries (particularly Russia). So that excuse is valid.

I do agree, though, that there are things that can be done about it. I just paid for three months with FilipinoCupid and am currently being inundated with emails and requests to be their boyfriend - something that has never, EVER happened in Australia. Why there are aren't very many Australian guys (although the number is increasing) that follow this path mystifies me. I guess that Anglo culture has had a significant effect on the male populace - although maybe not as strong as in America, because Australia's existing culture is nascent and just a weak combination of Britain and America's.

[swincor]

Guys who are stuck on bashing women who only date bad boys are looking for excuses to blame other people for their own lack of success in dating.

Well I don't recall any guy here "bashing women" so your statement comes off pretty much as a non sequitor. But even if they were bashing women, whether they were right or wrong in doing so would depend on the context. The fact that such women are rebuked, or otherwise talked about unkindly, doesn't automatically mean that anyone is "looking for excuses to blame other people," nor is it some kind of barometer indicating one's dating successes or failures. The latter is an especially stupid, unimaginative assumption. Some who talk in heated language do so with thoughtfulness, restraint and with a mind towards finding real solutions. So stop talking like a clueless jerkoff who doesn't know what the f**k he's talking about. For a guy who's got copious amounts of factual knowledge in his head, you talk a lot but you sure don't say much.

[ahardy57]

ahardy57: "Tough guy. But he makes me feel a certain way. I cannot control that. I have not let him kiss me, because I know that It will be wrong to get involved romantically with this guy. Who knows if he won't kill me down the line. I still care about him, but it is dangerous for me.
Yet, the chemistry. If he changes his life, I might like one day to be his girl."

Hello, gentleman out there, before you get any further, I want to quote myself from the previous post. "I HAVE NOT LET HIM KISS ME....." I never once told him I love him. He chases, I avoided him. He came up to me everyday. I dare not tell him my feelings. What you guys don't get here is FEELINGS are automatic. I do not chose them. Re-read what I wrote, he and I DO NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. Unless, he probably has Christian conversion, he will never be in a relationship with me. But yea, I have feelings for him. Meanwhile, I date guys who are decent and who I can take home to mother.

I am just illustrating what goes on in the mind of some women. I am not talking here about "giving flowers" and "being yourself", nor am I saying that you should be a bad guy. On the contrary, if you were a bad guy, I will avoid you too, just as I avoid him. The man I will marry will be kind, strong, sensitive, responsible, to name a few.
The ingredient the bad guy has on abundance is "masculinity" If a guy emphasizes his masculinity, he has all that is necessary to attract a woman, without all the destructive qualities of the bad guy. And he will have a more stable relationship than the bad guy.

I am just trying to give you the hard truth of what attracts a woman. I am not necessarily talking about my life in every line, because I can override my powerful feelings, and go with my better judgment. Feelings does not mean we always go by it. Conscience and common sense, also plays a role in who some women date.

You guys, who are honest with yourself, knows that this is what is happening in many cases across the western world. I am not saying if it's right or wrong, but I am trying to get you into the mind of a lot of women. I am not your enemy here. I am just revealing a part of the female psyche. Speak to the pros and they might agree with am lot of what I'm saying. If you ask me to describe what dogs are ,like I will say they like to chew on bones, and if you train them well they will be obedient and faithful. I will not deviate from the facets about their basic nature. As far as I can, I am not talking with a bias here, but what I have observed in myself and other women over the years.

It's easy to go into denial, or blame the messenger, but, I know many here are looking for the science of it, and I am trying to steer in that direction.

If I say nice rosy things, you might like me, but I am just sticking to observation.
Observe it yourself and see if these things are not generally so.

I WILL NOT DATE A BAD GUY UNLESS HE IS CONVERTED. A woman who dates a bad guy will pay for it dearly. He will either batter her badly and destroy her chance of happiness, or she will become as bad as he is. Neither option is good. I have standards.
But I also observe that the gentle male do win, but more often than not, he has to hold out longer than the tough guy, and wait to catch the woman there is an opening. A lot of times, he really has to wait for an opening.

[ahardy57]

Women give men bad advice on dating because they want to be nice. Or they are saying what they will do without really thinking what the man has to go through to break the ice-barrier. They are not actually putting themselves in your shoes. They are just trying to be helpful and nice, and to smooth things over, and to reassure you.

However, in the real world that does not work. Maybe in simpler societies it may work, but in America and I suspect other countries in the West, this is ineffective advice.

The truth is, getting a girl in the West for a guy is like climbing Mt Everest. The game is wired for the alpha male, the bad boy, the gangster type, or the super rich guy. Getting a quality girl, or a beautiful girl may seem unreachable to the average guy in America.

If you have not been finding success in dating, year after year, you may begin to think something is wrong with you. If you are on here, you already know a lot of the time it may not be your fault, it is because something is wrong in the American social scene.

So what are you going to do about it? For some, leaving this country might solve their problems. Finally, they are appreciated for the good guy they are. But not everyone can leave though, for one reason or another. And some may have to stay here for a while and battle the dragons of the dating world.

America is a large country and there are no real abiding cultures within it, so people are forced to make small communities in order to have some semblance of a social life.

The number one place of community can be within your church. Many churches have groups that meet on Sundays and other days of the week for programs to fulfill particular needs or devoted to certain causes.

Remember now, in other countries, people have cultures where their similarities bind them together on a deeper level of brotherhood. Not so in America. We have many people, but disparate elements, not much in common except superficial hype, plastic smiles, and business meetings where people relate but when it's over the brief 'friendship' ends. We have no real communities in America, except for the Amish and other groups that keep to themselves.

What is a lonely man to do?

Join a church. Enroll in one of their church groups. The church is not going anywhere. It will always be there. Show up, keep showing up. Volunteer, volunteer volunteer. Soon you will begin to see a pattern emerge. The same people are coming every week. If you want a girl friend join a group with lots of girls. At first the particular girl of your choice may not even notice you, but remember she is also getting slights and rejections from the guys she is attracted to. So eventually in the musical chairs of life, things will change when your chance comes. And she looks at you, and sees you with new eyes, you're handsome, why didn't she see that before, you're polite and reliable, you are far better than Tom, who she has been chasing who doesn't even know her name, she begins to see good points about you. She keeps it in her mental records. Meanwhile her biological clock is pushing, and she realizes she may not get anywhere with Tom after all. Besides, the other guy who pursued her at work, Bruce didn't really love her, he was just using her for his vanity. And all those advances he made towards her was just to have sex with her. You are a much better catch, you actually CARE about her.

Women are not invincible, or happier because they have a lot of the pickings.
Actually, they can be very miserable and not able to tell what is troubling them, even though they have guys falling at their feet right and left.
They may still go home alone. Because, YOU did not show up and persist, despite the odds, you gave up, when you could have tried a little longer. If you had pursued long enough, you might have gotten to know her close friends who might actually sympathize with you. And may even see qualities in you that are very admirable and think that there friend might be missing out on a really good guy, so instead of going home and turning on the pity party and giving up on all women, please cry a little bit, if you have to, but show up the next time, be the valiant bachelor that never stops giving.
Another woman might be watching you and thinking, "He is not so bad after all. You know, he is taller than I am, bald is getting popular these days, he can provide even if he just works at Walmart, but he does have a job and has qualities that I can depend on." (And even if you don't have a job, my experience has shown me that there are women out there for you, too.) "You know I actually have grown to like him. He actually goes the extra mile for me. In fact he cares about me, more than anyone else. I am not going to be pretty forever, I have been chasing guys, and they have been chasing me, but they ended up breaking my heart. This guy respects me. He will never break my heart intentionally, why didn't I see that before.

There are not just church groups, but groups for every sports, hobby, pursuits that you have.

Find your niche, make sure there are elegible girls, and make your own little village.

[swincor]

What is a lonely man to do?

Join a church. Enroll in one of their church groups. The church is not going anywhere. It will always be there. Show up, keep showing up. Volunteer, volunteer volunteer. Soon you will begin to see a pattern emerge. The same people are coming every week. If you want a girl friend join a group with lots of girls. At first the particular girl of your choice may not even notice you, but remember she is also getting slights and rejections from the guys she is attracted to. So eventually in the musical chairs of life, things will change when your chance comes. And she looks at you, and sees you with new eyes, you're handsome, why didn't she see that before, you're polite and reliable, you are far better than Tom, who she has been chasing who doesn't even know her name, she begins to see good points about you. She keeps it in her mental records. Meanwhile her biological clock is pushing, and she realizes she may not get anywhere with Tom after all. Besides, the other guy who pursued her at work, Bruce didn't really love her, he was just using her for his vanity. And all those advances he made towards her was just to have sex with her. You are a much better catch, you actually CARE about her.

You stupid American woman.

You love to hear the sound of your own voice that only serves to distract and impede.

The fact is, you offer nothing -- and I mean nothing -- that can be found elsewhere in far better quality and in plentiful supply.

As I already explained from earlier post:

If you're an expat guy or thinking about expatriating, then you've already figured out that western women (particularly those of the English-speaking nations) are by and large damaged goods, unreliable as long-term mates. You may have to shop around for countries a bit, but once you step outside the US/UK/AUS, your dating/mating prospects with reliable, high quality women significantly increases. And then, you find you don't feel the need to seek Anglosphere women like Hardy for dating advice -- as such women become rather superfluous in the face of an overwhelming abundance of much higher quality women overseas.

[ahardy57]

Swincor, you should not color all American women with the same brush. Your mother and sister belong in this same group. As a matter of fact, I do not agree with the feminist agenda. I wait for the day when the pendulum will swing back to the right balance, where a man could be allowed to express his manhood legitimately and a female to express her femininity without feeling less. You shouldn't attack your sympathizers.

[Jackal]

I WILL NOT DATE A BAD GUY UNLESS HE IS CONVERTED.

If a man merely states that he is a Christian, that doesn't mean much. Many members of the Italian mafia say that they are Catholic. Columbus was a Christian and he did horrible things to the Native Americans. Many Nazis called themselves Christians.

So just wearing the label "Christian" (or the name of any other religion) doesn't mean that a person actually has any ethics.

Lots of officially Christian US soldiers in Iraq have shot and killed many unarmed civilians there. Not very Christian...